Thoughts and Comments in General #3 **Spoilers** Bachelorette 4

[nlbress]

As for the B"tch factor... I can relate to that a lot...DeAnna is very passionate, opinionated,strong and open...which can sometimes be described negatively by people even though she's obviously a good person...but there are men out there who can handle it and LIKE that in a woman... like my hubby, who reminds me a lot of Jason! I definitely think Jason would be a good counterpart to her...a calming force...as my dh is for me.

Is it Monday yet?

[Google]

 

[Shannonm93]

Originally Posted by Grahamgroupie

See the thing is that it can't just be left at that because there is always someone who feels like they have to have the last word on a subject (not referring to you specifically but a general comment). We do disagree and what I've been posting is what I believe to be true too. It does appear that anyone who differs with Jason fans (in particular, Graham fans),they are debated and cannot be left to have their opinion -- it becomes a mission to counter any post.

I'm going to bed, so if there is any reply to this, it will not be answered... I'm sure many will be happy about that, but I certainly won't lose any sleep over it.

Goodnight, all!

I'll let you have your opinion and I'll have my opinion and we'll leave it at that. All good?

I'm about to go to bed too!

[Auntie Lyn]

Originally Posted by Shannonm93

Trying to get to bed so I'll make this quick. I see your point Auntie Lyn, but with regards to the bolded part above, I think the only issues she had was with Graham and I think those have been resolved. That's all I'm going to say. I'm just going to have to agree to disagree with you and all of the other Graham fans on all of this, because its getting a little tiring. I say "tomatoes" all of you say "tomatows" and we just keep going back and forth. It's pointless. We're not going to agree (not that I thought we would), so let's just make this easier on all of us and just agree to disagree, okay? Thanks!

No problem Shannon, have a good night sleep. no hard feelings on the tomatoes and tomatows things. I want and hope for what's best for DeAnna and all of the guys, Jason especially because of Tyler, Graham because of an emotional connection to him.

[kirstenp1]

Originally Posted by drparoo

I'm an introvert. I can still get together with my friends and have a great time (and there are pictures to prove it ) Being an introvert just means that it tires me out and I need to get recharged by my quiet time alone. Extroverts don't have as much need to have time alone, they get energy from being around people. I just don't think you can define a part of someone's personality from a picture of one evening as you can watching them interact with people over the course of a show. Even then, you only get a snippet. JMO from an INTJ.

Complete agreement from an ISTJ!! I have a wide circle of friends and have a full social life, but definitely need time during the day to recharge my battery and be by myself - reading a book, surfing the net, poring over the posts on the FORT

[talldede]

Originally Posted by kirstenp1

Complete agreement from an ISTJ!! I have a wide circle of friends and have a full social life, but definitely need time during the day to recharge my battery and be by myself - reading a book, surfing the net, poring over the posts on the FORT

INTP here! Hee Hee! Yes, he did describe introverts very well. I enjoy parties with good friends, but I really need my down time.

[Larel]

Originally Posted by nlbress

As for the B"tch factor... I can relate to that a lot...DeAnna is very passionate, opinionated,strong and open...which can sometimes be described negatively by people even though she's obviously a good person...but there are men out there who can handle it and LIKE that in a woman... like my hubby, who reminds me a lot of Jason! I definitely think Jason would be a good counterpart to her...a calming force...as my dh is for me.

Is it Monday yet?

Yeah I get called a b*tch alot by my friends & even co worker's but they all know me & say it in almost a loving complimenting way! LMAO!

I am very opinionated & strong willed just like Dee & that can lead to lots of trouble if with the wrong people!

[chrisg]

Originally Posted by Just Sayin

I don't think her saying that Brad hurt her and that she doesn't want to feel that hurt again is "unresolved feelings about Brad". It is taking something from the past, learning from it, and moving forward in life. She saw the relationship with Graham going in a similar direction, realized it, and moved on. Not unresolved issues, but learning from past mistakes and not letting them happen again.

I don't necessarily think it was really all about Brad or Graham, but rather about the type of guys she is usually attracted to that leave her broken hearted and empty handed. Brad just happens to be the "one of those" that Graham would know the most about, as he has been talked about a lot this season (by TPTB more than anyone). It was about leaving the type of guy who never cared enough about her to even ask her about why her Mom was so important in her life, leaving those "types" behind, and moving forward to more healthy and fulfilling relationships.

I completely agree with this. Part of growing up and making healthy dating decisions as a woman in the 21st century is letting go of the guys that aren't ready or aren't as into you as you are into them. And ultimately it doesn't matter which--if they aren't into you or aren't emotionally ready or mature enough--because, in both cases, there is a lack of reciprocity involved.

The truth is neither Brad nor Graham had strong feelings for DeAnna--both clearly stated that they could not see falling in love with her. And to suggest that she was madly in love with both of them kind of equates her with a blind dingbat. And I don't see DeAnna as a blind dingbat but as someone who was emotionally investing in the POTENTIAL she hoped could be there for each of the relationships in spite of the lack of reciprocity. This is something I have done myself and have seen many of my girlfriends do as well.

But growing up is letting go of mere potential and grasping on to potential where RECIPROCITY is involved. When you find reciprocity in a relationship, the sky is the limit where you can easily move beyond that 'potential' phase since BOTH people have an interest in doing so. And that is the foundation upon which love is built.

I don't believe that DeAnna has to fall out of love with Brad or Graham unless she is enough of a dingbat to love someone who wasn't feeling it for her. I don't believe that DeAnna has strong unresolved feelings for Brad or Graham--what is there to resolve when there is a lack of reciprocity? You just have to come to terms with the fact that the potential is not there for a reciprocal relationship.

DeAnna is coming to terms with the lack of potential with Graham. She INITIALLY had high hopes for a possible relationship so it is an emotional coming to terms. But it NEVER WAS A RELATIONSHIP IN A TRUE RECIPROCICAL SENSE so I don't see how this will prevent her from entering into a reciprocal relationship where then love is possible. And I don't think it is the ONLY potential relationship she had high hopes for out of those 25 guys. And some of those are still moving forward with potential AND reciprocity.

[NoLongerALurker]

Originally Posted by chrisg

I completely agree with this. Part of growing up and making healthy dating decisions as a woman in the 21st century is letting go of the guys that aren't ready or aren't as into you as you are into them. And ultimately it doesn't matter which--if they aren't into you or aren't emotionally ready or mature enough--because, in both cases, there is a lack of reciprocity involved.........

Great post!

[Phyllie]

Originally Posted by chrisg

But growing up is letting go of mere potential and grasping on to potential where RECIPROCITY is involved. When you find reciprocity in a relationship, the sky is the limit where you can easily move beyond that 'potential' phase since BOTH people have an interest in doing so. And that is the foundation upon which love is built.

The problem is that she is doing this in less than two weeks. He hard to believe that she has an epiphany that she can live with long term in that short of time. I really hope she can.

Everyone keeps comparing this Graham/DeAnna storyline to past hidden loves that people have seen, or imagined. BUT this was not hidden...it's been the major story arc for 2/3s of the show. The one she picks is hidden. That's whats weird.

We can only take what Graham said at face value because none of us know for sure anything different, however, a couple days before this interview he had another confrontation with her which I'm sure colored his view, as well as total respect for the man he hopes she chose, and is potentially making a life with.

For him, it's been two months. For the show, and the place we see DeAnna making these choices is only a few days.

[n2shabbychic]

Are there a lot of people here who are still in love with their high school boyfriends who treated them like crap? Just wondering.