Thoughts and Comments in General #3 **Spoilers** Bachelorette 4

[Grahamgroupie]

Originally Posted by drparoo

I'm an introvert. I can still get together with my friends and have a great time (and there are pictures to prove it ) Being an introvert just means that it tires me out and I need to get recharged by my quiet time alone. Extroverts don't have as much need to have time alone, they get energy from being around people. I just don't think you can define a part of someone's personality from a picture of one evening as you can watching them interact with people over the course of a show. Even then, you only get a snippet. JMO from an INTJ.

well, I'm considered an extrovert, but I spend an hour every morning doing yoga and in complete peace with the Lord. I think twice before I speak and I usually think things through before I do them. I don't react to people, I look for a deeper meaning in everything that is said to me. Typical introverted behavior for an extreme extrovert, but I call it growth. Graham strikes me as the type of guy that is ok with being alone and in the stillness and silence of his surroundings. There are some of us who have gotten to that place, others never do.

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[Alelady]

[quote=goldie2;3083390;]I know we are in two different teams here and I am fine with that and do not mean to argue i t at all....

If it is better for all the Graham fans to just go by the waste side here and not question some issues we see..fine..

I can understand that this does not go into the theory of her choosing Jason and the happily ever after for them and all...

Most think that even if she chooses Jason...which I have a different take on that theory...that it is already NOT a happily ever after anyway...[/QUOTE]

Not me - I completely believe that she chooses Jason and completely believe that she is very much in love and that he is her happily ever after.

I'm so done with the whole Graham thing. It's done! He's gone! There are three men left - Graham is not one of them!

He has said in his interview that she was not right for him, and he was not right for her.

She realized that he was not right for her and sent him home - end of story.

[Shannonm93]

Originally Posted by Grahamgroupie

I guess is we're to believe that, then she wasn't in love with Brad either. Can't have it both ways.

Not sure what you mean by can't have it both ways.

But to answer your question, actually no I don't believe she was in love with Brad. De has already said that both Brad and Graham were her type, but all that means is that she was physically attracted to them and personally I never saw anything more than that with either one of them and you can be infatuated with someone like that, but you can't be in love with them (atleast I don't believe you can't since there is no other basis for the relationship and in order to be in love you have to have more of a basis than just physical attraction).

And once again, I think you & I just need to agree to disagree on this (not that I really expected anything differently). Thanks!

[GaBB7fan]

[quote=Alelady;3083397;]

Originally Posted by goldie2

I know we are in two different teams here and I am fine with that and do not mean to argue i t at all....

If it is better for all the Graham fans to just go by the waste side here and not question some issues we see..fine..

I can understand that this does not go into the theory of her choosing Jason and the happily ever after for them and all...

Most think that even if she chooses Jason...which I have a different take on that theory...that it is already NOT a happily ever after anyway...[/QUOTE]

Not me - I completely believe that she chooses Jason and completely believe that she is very much in love and that he is her happily ever after.

I'm so done with the whole Graham thing. It's done! He's gone! There are three men left - Graham is not one of them!

He has said in his interview that she was not right for him, and he was not right for her.

She realized that he was not right for her and sent him home - end of story.

Passing Alelady the proverbial fork....

[Shannonm93]

Originally Posted by Alelady

Not me - I completely believe that she chooses Jason and completely believe that she is very much in love and that he is her happily ever after.

I'm so done with the whole Graham thing. It's done! He's gone! There are three men left - Graham is not one of them!

He has said in his interview that she was not right for him, and he was not right for her.

She realized that he was not right for her and sent him home - end of story.

Amen, Alelady! Especially with regards to the bolded part!

[Alelady]

[quote=GaBB7fan;3083402;]

Originally Posted by Alelady

Passing Alelady the proverbial fork....

Thanks, GaBB7fan!!

[Grahamgroupie]

Originally Posted by GaBB7fan

Let me preface this response by saying, I AM NOT a psychologist, I did NOT stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night, I did, however, take several college courses during my 6 years of college.

There is a thing called "transference" which is the redirection of one's feelings onto another person who hits a trigger point. I believe that Graham was a much nicer person that HWSNBN. However, the trigger points, though healed, are usually part of a built-in boundary. When they are hit, we react. It can come from childhood or even through adult relationships which have traumatic experiences tied to them. When Graham got close to one of those points, using the same tactics as her previous experiences, she reacted more hostile than she normally would. ie...Graham doesn't give her a kiss, she hits a 7.4 on the richter scale. Jesse doesn't kiss her and he knows/she knows he understands the drill. She gives him a rose and nothing comes of it because he verbally opens up to her with a bunch of hogwash. If Graham had explained why, in an even tone, she would have been okay. It's when he goes on the defensive, shuts down and becomes angry that we see her explode. Not because of Graham but because of the emotional trigger point he just stepped on.

Okay...I'm done with Graham...well for a bit anyway!

I have heard it called projecting.

I believe that even DeAnna said herself that the struggles are what strengthen a relationship and I couldn't agree more. Certainly, violins do not play and Natasha Beddingfield isn't always going to sing throughout a marriage or significant relationship with someone, so you better get your pads on because it's going to get rough sometimes.

[goldie2]

Originally Posted by talldede

Why do you want DeAnna to fail?

I hope for the best for most of these reality tv show participants, so I'm confused why some seem to thrive on the failure. Is it the format of the show you dislike so intently?

No I don't want her to fail..I am not sure what your definition of failure is here..

How sad that because she was given this remarkable second chance that she would have to choose someone in the end..to right that wrong that Brad couldn't do..

I am not saying she does that..right now..I am thinking the likely hood of her saying she is madly in love with Jason in the end and accepting a proposal from HIM is unlikely...
After graham has just left her...and she is visibly upset and second guessing her decision...


Depending on what the proposal is..which there are some good theories around about that... if you want to hear them...

[Shannonm93]

Originally Posted by goldie2

I know we are in two different teams here and I am fine with that and do not mean to argue i t at all....

If it is better for all the Graham fans to just go by the waste side here and not question some issues we see..fine..

I can understand that this does not go into the theory of her choosing Jason and the happily ever after for them and all...
Most think that even if she chooses Jason...which I have a different take on that theory...that it is already NOT a happily ever after anyway...

So agree to disagree, Goldie??

[onthedownlow]

Originally Posted by ilovemick

Part of Grahams interview:

I think she and I suffered from a severe case of mis-communications. I don't question that her feelings were very strong for me and I also shared some very strong feelings for her. Where we were in the process may have been different because obviously as much as she wanted me to open up and say that I was falling in love or I was ready for marriage - I never heard those things directed at me in an individual settings, as far as being ready, I'm sure she is. I hope that she finds someone that she can be there with, but in regards to she and I we were definitely more on the same level than she knows

This is the paragraph and statement I do not understand. What does he mean by the statement I have bolded? I know ya'll are getting tired of us Graham fans, but just bear with us just a bit longer.

I think Graham watched the show and saw the PI's that showed D saying how much she hot for him and wanted to marry him or whatever, but that she didn't directly say those thing to him when they were alone. I think he was feeling very fond of her too, and may have said more to her if she had said more to him.......saying that he thinks they both felt the same way, but neither knew......thats my take on it