Is DeAnna leading 3 guys on?

[pbmax]

Plus its very important to note that De made the comment (albeit it was a VO) while in the deliberation room about falling in love with Jason (IMO, it doesn't matter when she said it, but just the fact that she said it which indicates to me that she is most definetely moving on from Graham) plus there was the comment in one of her PI's during the Seattle visit about how everything just fit with her & Jason & Ty.

But back to the question at hand, as long as De doesn't keep any guy that she doesn't see the possibility of a future with then I think she is doing the best she can and you have to give her credit for that, because the fact of the matter is that she can only let go of so many guys (or guy) at any one time.

She said all this before she was outside crying and confessing her love for another man and we suppose to believe this (not).

[Calminian]

I disagree with those who think Dee is leading the guys on, i just think shes in a similar situation that MANY girls/guys have been in within their love life. We have all met the hottie who we thought we were in love with and was cold and less available (which was one of the main reasons we fell for him/her in the first place, we want what we cant have).

After the break-up of that relationship we realised the reality of the situation and that IT NEVER WOULD HAVE WORKED. We and Deanna declared ourselves in love and at the time it feels like your only chance of love just went. Whirlwind romance anyone?

So, in conclusion, Deanna at the time said 'I just let go the only guy i fell in love with' but she'll be fine, she will realise the actual jems are scattered in front of her, and the final 1 will understand too.

Do you believe Brad led her on?

[sunny_peach]

I am sorry, but seeing the video and screencaps of next weeks show, just rips my heart to shreds. After last nights conversation about what he wanted, his mom's passing, buying a home, starting a new life with DeAnna, etc. Not just wanting her, but NEEDING her... I think I am going to lose it next week

I understand where you are coming from with your feelings about all of this, and yes it does seem unfair. This is one of the things that I really don't care for about the show. It is never fun to watch someone get their heart broken.

[LadyTchr00]

I'm intrigued by the moral dilemmas people face on these shows. I was one of the few that really believed Brad did the right thing by choosing neither of the final two girls. But most seem to disagree feeling he was leading DeAnna on. But now DeAnna is faced with a similar dilemma. She just said goodbye to "the one guy she was falling in love with" (maybe not an exact quote but close). The remaining 3 are all second, third and fourth fiddle and therefore she's facing quite a dilemma of her own. If she chooses one guy, he will have been lead to believe he was her first choice, which we know now is not the case. He will have been lead on in every aspect of the term. Yet if she chooses none, she'll have to take back all of her judgments against Brad, which is going to be very hard for her. I tend to believe the latter is the right choice, though. I'm curious what say you.

Excellent points Cal. While I wasn't crazy about Brad, like you I believe he did what was best rather than pretending an engagement for ratings, and then letting it go. To be honest, was much better for Deanna that she NOT be engaged and then let down. As for the 3 remaining guys, I honestly feel for all 3 of them. More for Jason because of the son situation. After last night's episode, it was hard for me to find a way to understand how she could continue with her quest for "love" when she felt she had let the "one" she was falling in love with go. At this point, whatever happens, I am just not sure I see a complete and total happy ending for Deanna and it's pretty sad. Out of all those guys and to fall for the one that couldn't give back, just makes you wonder how great her judgment really is. I admire her for letting Graham go when she knew it was NOT going to go to a completion for her however. I really give her kudos for that move. As for the rest of the show, not sure what to think anymore.

[LadyTchr00]

You know, I don't think she knew that until after the HTD, if even then. I mean, I think Jeremy was really in the running. If Jeremy's HTD was before Jason's, it could be that was the turning point. I agree that she would have let Jeremy go if Graham hadn't asked to leave. And I wonder if she does give him an indication if, as some have surmised, she doesn't ask him back to the fantasy suite. That could be the first chance she got.

There is NO WAY not to lead someone on in this show. Just no way.

ITA with your statement. The entire premise of this show is based on "leading 25 men (actually 15) down the primrose path to some degree. My heart truly was torn for Jeremy last night because I do feel that he thinks "sharing" so much of his family tragedy will help bond him to Deanna. However, I don't think that Deanna quite saw it that way. Her "perfect" comments were just too...obvious. Everyone knows that "perfect" does not exist - even in fairy tales. While her time with him was fun, I believe that she came away knowing something was just "not quite" what it should be in her heart. I dread seeing Jeremy hurt next week. I really do. It's not going to be that big of a deal for Jesse, imo, as he just has not been as emotionally invested in the process. But for Jeremy, he's a young man who desperately needs some real love in his life and I hope after this show, that his "stock" goes way up for those gals in Dallas.

[LadyTchr00]

Well said, JR! If you're neither a therapist nor a writer, you may have missed your calling(s). It's such a pleasure to read such words of wisdom. Thank you!

I so hope you are right Jr. You worded that nicely, and I am hoping that Jason is mature enough to realize that it is a show where emotions run high and it takes time to truly come down from this "high" and get back to reality. I hope with all my heart that he does not view this as "sloppy seconds." Thanks for the input.

[Calminian]

Excellent points Cal. While I wasn't crazy about Brad, like you I believe he did what was best rather than pretending an engagement for ratings, and then letting it go. To be honest, was much better for Deanna that she NOT be engaged and then let down.

Yeah, I never really got where all the Brad hatred was coming from.

As for the 3 remaining guys, I honestly feel for all 3 of them. More for Jason because of the son situation. After last night's episode, it was hard for me to find a way to understand how she could continue with her quest for "love" when she felt she had let the "one" she was falling in love with go. At this point, whatever happens, I am just not sure I see a complete and total happy ending for Deanna and it's pretty sad. Out of all those guys and to fall for the one that couldn't give back, just makes you wonder how great her judgment really is. I admire her for letting Graham go when she knew it was NOT going to go to a completion for her however. I really give her kudos for that move. As for the rest of the show, not sure what to think anymore.

I may have missed something regarding why it was so necessary for Graham to go. I've heard people talking about how he asked to be sent home? Is that true? From what I saw, he was just being a little passive with her which seemed to aggravate her. I think that may be why she regretted the decision. And it seemed he still had feelings for her. And if he still has feelings and if she regrets the decision, er, doesn't keep that door open for the future? Doesn't seem like there's a whole lot of closure there and that's why I don't think it's right for her to continue on.

Hey maybe they'll let her bring him back. But can you imagine if she asked him back and he said no?

[jurny]

Yeah, I never really got where all the Brad hatred was coming from.



I may have missed something regarding why it was so necessary for Graham to go. I've heard people talking about how he asked to be sent home? Is that true? From what I saw, he was just being a little passive with her which seemed to aggravate her. I think that may be why she regretted the decision. And it seemed he still had feelings for her. And if he still has feelings and if she regrets the decision, er, doesn't keep that door open for the future? Doesn't seem like there's a whole lot of closure there and that's why I don't think it's right for her to continue on.

Hey maybe they'll let her bring him back. But can you imagine if she asked him back and he said no?

In last nights episode she told Graham that this was it, no do overs. So I doubt she will be bringing him back. Althought that was said before she read his note to her. So who knows what she may think now.

[K9Mom]

Thanks to all who have appreciated my post. And I am neither a therapist nor a writer - just a father (my son is Dee's age) and a husband (and I WOULD like to think I'm a good husband - I work at it and I think my wife of 26 years would say I have some measure of success).

But see the thing is - I know where Dee is. In my life I have had MORE than my share of "Grahams" (only I'm straight so they were Ellen, Lisa, Elaine, Gretchen, Mary - I'll quit before I lose all credibility). I picked women who were all wrong for me - following my heart (well since I'm a guy maybe it was some other part of my anatomy) and all I got out of it was a broken heart, cheated on, totally unfulfilled, and divorced.

Like I finally did, I HOPE what Dee has just done is to come to that realization and blended in a bit of brain. Chose first what will make you happy (my key criteria ended up being someone capable of love and the hope that love would extend to me, and someone who could be my best friend) and from that abbreviated list, look for chemistry.

At the beginning of this journey, Dee has said that she found someone who was not "her type" - to which I say "Dee - it's about time". I hope she is truly happy with the outcome - I know I am with mine.

Loved this post. Thanks so much for sharing it with us!

[K9Mom]

I am 100% convinced that she has been instructed by TPTB to mention his name at every conceivable opportunity. I am even 100% convinced that where she failed to do so, TPTB made her do a reshoot.

I second that...can I get an amen?