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Thread: Is DeAnna leading 3 guys on?

  1. #11
    JR jr956678's Avatar
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    Re: Is DeAnna leading 3 guys on?

    Quote Originally Posted by Parasolpink;3075432;
    Yet I can't get my head around what the chosen one will think ...
    As a guy I think that Jason (who certainly seems like the chosen one) will have no problems dealing with the Graham situation. For a couple of reasons:

    1 - What we have seen, I believe, of the story between Graham and Dee has been edited for drama - TPTB have intentionally wanted us to believe that Graham was the love story and they have done a pretty good job of emphasizing that love story to the detriment of any other love story. Reality is probably not nearly so dramatic.

    2 - Jason already knows there was a connection with Graham and Dee and has said so - no big news there for him. At some time he WILL see what has aired but it won't be anything like a revalation to him.

    3 - In spite of the drama in last night's show with Graham's exit, there was plenty of other stories, just not as dramatic:

    It's hard to imagine how a HTD could have gone any better than Jason's. Not only the connection but the conversations - how many couples will ever get to see their "How many kids do YOU want?" discussion on national TV. And - how many couples find such instant accord in that conversation? I felt I was a voyeur looking at something I shouldn't be seeing.

    As Dee will probably have to move to Seattle to continue a relationship with Jason, can you imagine a better family to be with when you're away from your own? I love his mother - I can see where many of his qualities come from - and I want to adopt his father for myself!

    And last and more important - Jason is not naive; he has lived through good times and bad times (becoming a father, getting divorced). He went on this show because of Dee - thought she'd be compatible. He has healed from his pain (at least as much as you can ever heal - there are always scars) and is ready to love again (and got that advice from his family too). He has a rare ability to understand Dee and how she feels and thinks - he actually WORKS at doing this. He would never be one to not know how to respond to the inevitible conversation:

    He: "What's wrong?"
    She: "NOTHING!"

    He seems mature enough to understand what Dee has gone through. Love is not all heart - part of it's also brain and without that combination you will not find love. Learning in life that people you may be attracted to are not good for you and you need to grow up and start seeking relationships with people who CAN BE good for you is one of life's difficult lessons. I think Jason gets this - and I think he can and will be there for Dee as she heals from this painful but necessary life lesson.

    This is not so simple a situation as "she loved someone else and I'm sloppy seconds" - this is part of being a life partner for some one you love and if Jason understands what has happened he will not be bothered in the slightest by it. If he doesn't get it, then he really isn't right for Dee after all.

  2. #12
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    Re: Is DeAnna leading 3 guys on?

    Quote Originally Posted by BuckeyeGal007;3075523;
    Actually, DeAnna said she thought she was falling in love with him. There's a big difference b/w thinking you're falling in love and actually falling in love.

    I think if Jason is the F1, as I suspect many believe he is, I think he could handle it. The guys know what she's going through, and a lot of them, Jason especially, could see the chemistry she had with Graham. I don't think any of them would be naive to that fact...in fact, most of them probably thought that he'd be her final choice and were probably shocked when he didn't recieve a rose.
    But the fact that she let him go is probably going to give him a false impression. He will not have known at the time of getting the final rose that the only reason she let him go was because he wasn't as in love with her as she was with him. And I doubt she's going to give that information up before the final ceremony. The F1 (if there was an F1) just found all of this out last night. Ouch! I would not want to be him.
    Last edited by Calminian; 06-24-2008 at 09:57 AM.

  3. #13
    A Swirl of Leaves Arielflies's Avatar
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    Re: Is DeAnna leading 3 guys on?

    Quote Originally Posted by jr956678;3075540;
    This is not so simple a situation as "she loved someone else and I'm sloppy seconds" - this is part of being a life partner for some one you love and if Jason understands what has happened he will not be bothered in the slightest by it. If he doesn't get it, then he really isn't right for Dee after all.
    Very well thought out post, jr956678. Oh, and WELCOME to posting at the FORT! I agree that if any of the final three can handle the Graham aftermath it is Jason.

    In regards to the subject of this thread, I do not think DeAnna is leading any of the men on. As has been noted, there was instant chemistry with Graham, but once that exploded, she can concentrate on the remaining three to see if love does exist with any of them. If she doesn't find it (perfect on paper?) then she will cut that person loose. With Jesse, I think she'll take more of a mind approach than an emotional approach...how does he treat her...how does he interact with her family, etc. With Jason she will take a more balanced approach. I believe he has become her touchstone through all the maelstorm of her emotional journey and will not feel lead on if she chooses one of the others.

    Then again...isn't being lead on more of a girl reflective emotion than a guy reflective emotion. When one looks back at a relationship, won't a girl say, "he lead me on"...while a guy would say, "she dumped me."

    The question of being lead on is probably in the realm of personal interpretation.
    The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. Dorothy Parker, (attributed)

  4. #14
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    Re: Is DeAnna leading 3 guys on?

    Quote Originally Posted by Arielflies;3075633;
    The question of being lead on is probably in the realm of personal interpretation.
    Exactly. How do we define what being lead on is? DeAnna claims that she was lead on by Brad. If that is what being lead on is, she is guilty of the same thing.

  5. #15
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    Re: Is DeAnna leading 3 guys on?

    Hey guys, there are a few comments in this thread that might be interpreted as spoilerish, so I'm going to move this thread up to the Spoiler and Spec forum. That way you won't have to worry about what you say.

  6. #16
    FORT Regular gurlbrit's Avatar
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    Re: Is DeAnna leading 3 guys on?

    Quote Originally Posted by natashapierre;3075396;
    Seems to me people make a lot of excuses for DeAnna that few are willing to make for Brad.

    I think Brad was holding on to some people he saw the most potential with and waiting -- as you have to -- to see how strongly things developed. But that at the end, he just didn't find the feelings strong enough on his side -- or saw his doubts as too substantial -- tp justify moving somebody to Austin to pursue a relationship.

    I don't think he did anything wrong, and I don't think she's doing anything particularly wrong either, in the sense of who she's keeping and letting go. ... But I do think it was wrong for her to all but chew Graham's head off because he isn't the kind of person she wants to be with. Hey, lots of people wer'e attracted to end up being wrong for us, and it's not anybody's fault. Don't dump further on the person you're dumping.

    If DeAnna doesn't develop equally strong feelings for one of the other guys by the end, and still picks him to go forward with. Well, then I think she will be leading him on, at the FRC and post-show. But we haven't seen that happen yet, so I'm withholding judgment on the leading on thing.
    I think Deanna is doing exactly what she is supposed to do. The premise of the Bachelor/ette is to take 25 people of the opposite sex and eliminate one, two or three each week until one is left. During that time you have to lead them on to believe there is something there that may or may not be.

    I agree that Deanna was angry with Graham because he could not open up any more than he had, I believe that Deanna needed to open up more if she wanted reciprocity from Graham, but that's neither here nor there.

    Yes, I think Deanna has some type of feelings for all F4, whether those feelings will lead to anything lasting is another thing IMO.

  7. #17
    Jason, Ty and FORT Fan! Shannonm93's Avatar
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    Re: Is DeAnna leading 3 guys on?

    Quote Originally Posted by BuckeyeGal007;3075523;
    Actually, DeAnna said she thought she was falling in love with him. There's a big difference b/w thinking you're falling in love and actually falling in love.

    I think if Jason is the F1, as I suspect many believe he is, I think he could handle it. The guys know what she's going through, and a lot of them, Jason especially, could see the chemistry she had with Graham. I don't think any of them would be naive to that fact...in fact, most of them probably thought that he'd be her final choice and were probably shocked when he didn't recieve a rose.
    Plus its very important to note that De made the comment (albeit it was a VO) while in the deliberation room about falling in love with Jason (IMO, it doesn't matter when she said it, but just the fact that she said it which indicates to me that she is most definetely moving on from Graham) plus there was the comment in one of her PI's during the Seattle visit about how everything just fit with her & Jason & Ty.

    But back to the question at hand, as long as De doesn't keep any guy that she doesn't see the possibility of a future with then I think she is doing the best she can and you have to give her credit for that, because the fact of the matter is that she can only let go of so many guys (or guy) at any one time.
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  8. #18
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    Re: Is DeAnna leading 3 guys on?

    Quote Originally Posted by Calminian;3075526;
    DeAnna and many others seem to believe that Brad knew for certain he wasn't going to pick her when he said those things. I highly doubt this. He seem tormented by the processes, and seemed to really be keeping himself open to both girls. Sometimes when you're with someone you think there may be something there, but when you're away you realize you don't miss them like you should. I bet that's what happened.

    I also found it interesting that on Kimmel she seemed to say that she now understood what Brad was going through and had nothing against him.



    This whole leading on thing is confusing to me. If Brad was honest with DeAnna on their final date, but changed his mind when away from her, then I don't see how DeAnna is doing anything different.
    Great post...agree...if she is honest in the end..that it was truly a difficult and painful decision for her..who could fault her in the end if she finds TRUE LOVE...

    seems like all the guys just wanted her to be happy in the end and knew the outcome was never a guarantee here for any of them...

  9. #19
    Yoffy lifts a finger... fluff's Avatar
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    Re: Is DeAnna leading 3 guys on?

    Quote Originally Posted by gurlbrit;3075737;
    I think Deanna is doing exactly what she is supposed to do. The premise of the Bachelor/ette is to take 25 people of the opposite sex and eliminate one, two or three each week until one is left. During that time you have to lead them on to believe there is something there that may or may not be.
    Precisely. It's a vile premise for a show in theory which plays out just as horribly in practice, imo.
    If people weren't lead on to a certain degree they might cut their losses and leave. It wouldn't be much of a show for Fleiss if the contestants decided to bail because it was evident they weren't going to be chosen.
    "That's Numberwang!"

  10. #20
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    Re: Is DeAnna leading 3 guys on?

    Quote Originally Posted by jr956678;3075540;
    As a guy I think that Jason (who certainly seems like the chosen one) will have no problems dealing with the Graham situation. For a couple of reasons:

    1 - What we have seen, I believe, of the story between Graham and Dee has been edited for drama - TPTB have intentionally wanted us to believe that Graham was the love story and they have done a pretty good job of emphasizing that love story to the detriment of any other love story. Reality is probably not nearly so dramatic.

    2 - Jason already knows there was a connection with Graham and Dee and has said so - no big news there for him. At some time he WILL see what has aired but it won't be anything like a revalation to him.

    3 - In spite of the drama in last night's show with Graham's exit, there was plenty of other stories, just not as dramatic:

    It's hard to imagine how a HTD could have gone any better than Jason's. Not only the connection but the conversations - how many couples will ever get to see their "How many kids do YOU want?" discussion on national TV. And - how many couples find such instant accord in that conversation? I felt I was a voyeur looking at something I shouldn't be seeing.

    As Dee will probably have to move to Seattle to continue a relationship with Jason, can you imagine a better family to be with when you're away from your own? I love his mother - I can see where many of his qualities come from - and I want to adopt his father for myself!

    And last and more important - Jason is not naive; he has lived through good times and bad times (becoming a father, getting divorced). He went on this show because of Dee - thought she'd be compatible. He has healed from his pain (at least as much as you can ever heal - there are always scars) and is ready to love again (and got that advice from his family too). He has a rare ability to understand Dee and how she feels and thinks - he actually WORKS at doing this. He would never be one to not know how to respond to the inevitible conversation:

    He: "What's wrong?"
    She: "NOTHING!"

    He seems mature enough to understand what Dee has gone through. Love is not all heart - part of it's also brain and without that combination you will not find love. Learning in life that people you may be attracted to are not good for you and you need to grow up and start seeking relationships with people who CAN BE good for you is one of life's difficult lessons. I think Jason gets this - and I think he can and will be there for Dee as she heals from this painful but necessary life lesson.

    This is not so simple a situation as "she loved someone else and I'm sloppy seconds" - this is part of being a life partner for some one you love and if Jason understands what has happened he will not be bothered in the slightest by it. If he doesn't get it, then he really isn't right for Dee after all.
    This is the best post I have read, from the male side. Excellent post, you must be a great husband. Or if not, you will be.
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