Is DeAnna leading 3 guys on?

[smilingmomof3]

I must respectfully say that I do believe DeAnna is leading 3 guys on. . . and most especially Jeremy. You could say he "signed up for it" or whatever, but the rejection is brutal. DeAnna, because of her past losses, I think could understand how attached he was becoming to her- esp after they shared this HTD. Knowing this, I do not think she should have taken him to the Bahamas. This was her great mistake. Also, we know DeANna can rebuff a kiss if she wants to (chef Robert) and I have yet to see her do that with Jeremy. I believe he was blindsided, I believe she made mistakes with him, probably because he is a more emotionally connected person that she is. He hides it well, but Jeremy possesses emotional depth and feeling - I think De still shuts herself off from many of those feelings. I'm not sure she meant to lead him on, but I believe she did do it and she owes him an explanation and an apology. JMO.

[BuckeyeAddict]

Yes.. DeAnna is leading people on... But, too bad. That's the premise of the show. That's her job and that's what the show entails. The guys signing up for the show knew it... If leading the guys on is found offensive to anyone, than this is the wrong show to watch. The ENTIRE show is based on this premise. Grasp it. That's just the way it is.

You are right. However, the problem I have is that she repeatedly blasts Brad for doing it to her, and then she does the same thing. But then she claims she isn't. She may be trying not to, but it's pretty much impossible to do this show without leading a few of the suitors on. And then there's the question about whether they're being led on, or does the Bachelor/Bachelorette not know who they want yet? Hopefully by the time she got to the final few, it dawned on her that what she perceived as being led on was really a combination of it being part of the show, and the normal progression of making a decision. Maybe she finally got some closure.

[xseannax]

Yes.. DeAnna is leading people on... But, too bad. That's the premise of the show. That's her job and that's what the show entails. The guys signing up for the show knew it... If leading the guys on is found offensive to anyone, than this is the wrong show to watch. The ENTIRE show is based on this premise. Grasp it. That's just the way it is.

Well said babyface! LEADING ON 24 MEN/WOMEN IS THE BASIS OF THE SHOW. Only 1 is not led on in the end. Well, except for Brad hehehe .

Jeremy is my favorite and as much as I feel for him, I really believe DeAnna kept him HOPING that she would fall in love. Up until HTD she did not know the dynamic of Jason's family, and I think that Jeremy was always at the top of her list with Jason. In her mind I think Jesse/Graham were interchangable for F2 . Knew there wasn't enough "forever" feelings with either one of them, and that neither guy would be heartbroken in the end if he wasn't chosen(and let's face it--if Graham had been F1 and he had to watch the show--the relationship would have been over before ATFR).

DeAnna knows Jeremy's pain and that is why we have seen her try extra hard to give him every chance. We've heard her say it, he's perfect, perfect house, perfect dog...so I am sure she was saying to herself "What is wrong with me??" It's sad because maybe in the end if Jeremy hadn't built up such a wall around himself and allowed himself to heal, then maybe it could have been different. But right now his emotions are so raw, she once again would have to step up and help him through that like she did her sister after the death of their mother.

In Jason she sees that she doesn't always have to be the strong one. She can be soft with him, and once she sees that she knows that is what she needs in her life. I do think we could have possibly had another Brad ending if Jason's HTD didn't go as well, and Jeremy had been F1. She cares about him, wants "it" to be there, but it's not. Hmmm, maybe she needs her head examined

[MissMilano]

Well said babyface! LEADING ON 24 MEN/WOMEN IS THE BASIS OF THE SHOW. Only 1 is not led on in the end. Well, except for Brad hehehe .

Jeremy is my favorite and as much as I feel for him, I really believe DeAnna kept him HOPING that she would fall in love. Up until HTD she did not know the dynamic of Jason's family, and I think that Jeremy was always at the top of her list with Jason. In her mind I think Jesse/Graham were interchangable for F2 . Knew there wasn't enough "forever" feelings with either one of them, and that neither guy would be heartbroken in the end if he wasn't chosen(and let's face it--if Graham had been F1 and he had to watch the show--the relationship would have been over before ATFR).

DeAnna knows Jeremy's pain and that is why we have seen her try extra hard to give him every chance. We've heard her say it, he's perfect, perfect house, perfect dog...so I am sure she was saying to herself "What is wrong with me??" It's sad because maybe in the end if Jeremy hadn't built up such a wall around himself and allowed himself to heal, then maybe it could have been different. But right now his emotions are so raw, she once again would have to step up and help him through that like she did her sister after the death of their mother.

In Jason she sees that she doesn't always have to be the strong one. She can be soft with him, and once she sees that she knows that is what she needs in her life. I do think we could have possibly had another Brad ending if Jason's HTD didn't go as well, and Jeremy had been F1. She cares about him, wants "it" to be there, but it's not. Hmmm, maybe she needs her head examined

Nice post! Love the bolded part because that is exactly what I have been thinking. If Graham was having such problems with the process and the other guys while he was on the show. See the episodes would have been horrible for him, especially the scenes with Jason where she is pouring her heart out about her mom. I believe there is no way would it have lasted long in the real world.

[chrisg]

LEADING ON 24 MEN/WOMEN IS THE BASIS OF THE SHOW. Only 1 is not led on in the end. Well, except for Brad hehehe .

ITA. The ideal premise of the show is an 'end justifies the means' rationale--24 people get led on but in the end there is one happy couple.

And even if Brad did the best thing for all concerned in not choosing anyone, he led DeAnna to believe that she would be F1 in ways that were avoidable and, IMO, cruel. He never should have told her 'Saturday would be a good day' right before the unrose ceremony and the fact is that he continued to lead her on at the ATFR. He kept touching her and telling her that he thought of her every day. :nono Ewww!

I can't see DeAnna leading on the F3, or any of the guys, in such a manner--only with regard to what is unavoidable due to the way the show is structured.

[Spartangirl]

A certain amount of leading people on is inherent in the show's format. Some of the leads have done better than others at subtly letting those they weren't going to choose know they weren't really feeling it than others. Deanna is a special case in that she felt she was led on to a very large degree even for this show and she has vowed to avoid doing that herself now that it is her turn.

I don't think we will ever know for sure just how led on any of the guys feel but I also don't think she has been anywhere near as empathetic as she claims to be. To me, she does appear to believe that all the guys are deeply interested in her from the beginning and her job is to winnow through them and find the one she likes the best. It's why she got so angry at Graham. He wasn't playing the game the way she believed it was supposed to go. He was taking his time deciding whether he was interested enough to go to the end. She seemed to think that he was "cheating" somehow by not being sure if he was falling for her since all of them are supposed to be hers for the taking. It also explains why Jeremy is still there. To her, they are all invested in her. Jeremy was someone she at least contemplated choosing for part of the show, unlike Fred or Robert or Eric or Richard. She let those guys go early because she didn't want them to think she felt for them what she assumed they felt for her. I do think she would have let Jeremy go last week if Graham hadn't made it clear that he was not going to propose to her in the end so she let Graham go instead. Unfortunately for Jeremy, that means he stayed another week believing that after he opened up to her about some of his most personal feelings that she was still feeling he was a possible final choice for her. She could have done things differently to let him down a little more easily. Perhaps not kissing him so much would have been a good start.

With Jason and Jesse she has to keep someone to the end because I don't believe she will allow herself to end this season without choosing someone. She was too upset about Brad doing that to ever have her own season end the same way. Even if the guy she chooses is only chosen "to see what happens from here." I do think that whoever was picked would have had a very difficult time watching the last show not feeling like 2nd choice. Maybe if Deanna really wants it to work out still, she will be able to soften the blow to his ego and they will get past it. I guess that's possible.

If Jesse's girlfriend situation is revealed to her, I'm sure she will be furious with him because it will be one more case of someone leading her on in her eyes. Again, I think she really believed that all the guys were supposed to be interested in her before the show even started. Maybe the producers led her to believe they all requested to be on the show and some of that belief is justified. Maybe not. But either way that is the strong impression I get from her behavior.

If she picks Jason in the end because she feels she has to pick someone and he's the only choice left, then she will have led him on much more than she should have. If her choice of Jason is based on some feelings that grow in the next few shows, then maybe it's not so bad. I don't really think she has enough time to develop deep enough feelings to accept a proposal from him no matter what, though. So if he proposes and she accepts then that would be the absolute worst case of leading someone on that I've seen so far on this show because there is no way I can believe that her feelings have changed that quickly to that deep a level since the Final 4 show. I know some people believe that she has romantic feelings for him already, but I haven't seen that. All I've seen is friendship from her so far.

[Popeyesgal]

Well, if I were in De's shoes, I'd rather be chosen and dumped afterward than be dumped on national TV for the world to see. That had to be terribly embarrassing. I believe she will choose someone rather than have them both standing at the end broken-hearted. I still believe she falls in love with Jason. It's obvious that they have "clicked" from the beginning, and I believe she started falling for him after the 2-on-1 date.

[blue valentine]

Basically yes she has lead men on but they knew what they were up against when the signed up for the show. Nobody with any sense and realistic views on romance goes on some cheesy reality show to find love.

Jeremy technically wasn't lead on because he got caught up in the show and his feelings aren't even real. Nobody falls that hard so fast, his desperation for a happy ending and for DeAnna to "save him" is really off putting. Once he gets some perspective and REALLY falls in love he'll realize what he felt for DeAnna wasn't real to begin with. He'll get over it, the only thing that will hurt for him for a bit is his ego after being dumped on national television. He'll live.

[WeezerTheGeezer]

IMHO, it's all Fleiss who's leading the viewers along! Deanna has to play along with his storyline and y'all gotta admit, he's sure got us going!

[seeker]

Actually, DeAnna said she thought she was falling in love with him. There's a big difference b/w thinking you're falling in love and actually falling in love.

I think if Jason is the F1, as I suspect many believe he is, I think he could handle it. The guys know what she's going through, and a lot of them, Jason especially, could see the chemistry she had with Graham. I don't think any of them would be naive to that fact...in fact, most of them probably thought that he'd be her final choice and were probably shocked when he didn't recieve a rose.

Let's assume there was a proposal from Jason at the FRC. In his own words (summary) am I the only one who thinks that there is a connection she and Graham have that none of "us" have. There is a different kind of connection that she doesn't feel she needs to know where he stands the way she excepts the other 5 to show her(summary). Jason also stated he looks for non-verbal cues and reads them a lot. So if Deanna was not present in their relationship and he felt she was still thinking of Graham he may well catch that soon enough esp. since he would get to spend FD for a whole day with her. Monday will shed some light on how she shifted course from "I am worried if I can fall in love now" to "fell in love on FD". We'll see.

Fleiss made a point of showing throughout the show that it was Jason who voiced those concerns with the other guys and in PI that he was jealous seeing her with Graham at the track date. That said, had she taken Graham and Jason all the way and picked Jason, he would be bound to doubt her decision. The fact she let Graham go after HTD must give him some insight into where it could go now with Deanna. It's been stated that Graham's home visit was the first followed by Jeremy, Jesse and finally Jason. Interestingly that also turned out to be the order in which she started sending them home each week starting with f4.