Thoughts and Comments in General #2 **Spoilers** Bachelorette 4

[BachfanNY]

Exactly what I would offer if I had a psychological background. Sure, paint the pretty picture and wear whatever mask you need to to be the final man standing in this.

He sure seemed smart enough to call Dee's connection with Graham 3 times and why put those 3 edits in the show by the one she chooses at F1 if there aren't reasons for it.

wow, uhm, he's a dad, who loves his son & family, and could very well be doing something else. Psycology helps to understand the mind, but you make him sound like a psycho. That takes it a little far.

Look, I have no desire to trash Graham, i like him. I just understand that him and De were just two different people and they both need to move on. That's all.

[edit]

[gurlbrit]

You are absolutely correct in your post. Totally agree with the quote, she said "I was falling in love with him". This is a woman who can't let go of the past long enough to view the possible future. She really appears to be a woman with a chip on her shoulder from all past experiences and needs to call out anyone who disagrees with her opinion of how a relationship should progress. This woman needs to take a break, sit back and look at herself before she decides to go out get married and start a family of 3 kids before she is 30, there other priorities she needs to pursue first.

BINGO, I just said this above, I think she has a deep seated fear of rejection (at least from everything you see here and her given edit) and needs to take a good look at herself and get herself over this before she can make a connection (drink) with anyone.

[procheervet]

Great suggestion...mods? Can someone start a new thread for the to continue to discuss the Dee/Graham relationship, so the rest of us can focus on who's left?

Shelly, I will make it easy for you to continue your love fest ... going back to work now.

[Yosefasu]

There are those who feel that she was projecting on to Graham all of her past hurts, including what she thought and felt from Brad.

Most of the people who feel this way also feel that she should have stuck with Graham to the ( bitter) end because of the way she had started falling in love with him.

She said that she came into this season to find a husband, and that she couldn't take the chance on him not choosing her in the end.

Knowing her purpose in doing the show, and after seeing all of the heartache and hurt that we have been shown that she feels when they interact, how many of you still feel like she should have kept him to the end and taken the chance on him not accepting her?

I will grant the husban angle all the way. She said Mon that first and formost she wanted to be in love. Her and Graham would have not ended in a propsal on the final ep even if he was the F1. Some people never marry the one that is the person for their dreams but marry the person that complete's their life. Is Jason that one, who knows, but of what she is looking for, he seems to be the one that could fill that role.

[kkbaker]

You have got to be kidding me!

LOL

I have never had snot coming out of my nose from crying so hard over someone I was just "infatuated" with.

She cried when she let Fred go too.

[Bloomers]

Oops see that part that you bolded.... isn't that what our B11 said HE was on the show for too???? Sometimes what you intend isn't what you wind up doing.... Bring on the third rose for the introduction title shot!

My point is that was her intention. She strikes me as a very decisive if not stubborn person. I think those qualities carried her past the anger and hurt that were involved in the relationship with Graham. I believe she looked at the situation with regret and decided to continue working on the relationships that were also already in progress.
I also believe that on different levels she felt emotionally for the other 3 guys as well. It wasn't as if she felt nothing for anyone but Graham, and she had to start at ground zero. We only have to go back to past episodes to watch and listen to know that just ain't so.

Who knows with Brad.....I think the jury will always be out on why he really did the show and what really happened for that matter.

[lora724]

There are those who feel that she was projecting on to Graham all of her past hurts, including what she thought and felt from Brad.

Most of the people who feel this way also feel that she should have stuck with Graham to the ( bitter) end because of the way she had started falling in love with him.

She said that she came into this season to find a husband, and that she couldn't take the chance on him not choosing her in the end.

Knowing her purpose in doing the show, and after seeing all of the heartache and hurt that we have been shown that she feels when they interact, how many of you still feel like she should have kept him to the end and taken the chance on him not accepting her?

You're right about her reasons about doing this. But she criticized Graham for running from things and closing himself off when she blatantly did at the end of Monday's episode. She ran from him instead of opening herself up to the possibility of what could be!

[Phyllie]

There are those who feel that she was projecting on to Graham all of her past hurts, including what she thought and felt from Brad.

Most of the people who feel this way also feel that she should have stuck with Graham to the ( bitter) end because of the way she had started falling in love with him.

She said that she came into this season to find a husband, and that she couldn't take the chance on him not choosing her in the end.

Knowing her purpose in doing the show, and after seeing all of the heartache and hurt that we have been shown that she feels when they interact, how many of you still feel like she should have kept him to the end and taken the chance on him not accepting her?

I think that's the flaw in the whole season.

She came to find a husband, fell in love with someone that wasn't really ready to be her husband after dating her in a nonexclusive situation for six weeks, so he bowed out.

At that point, she should just man up like Brad did, and admit the process didn't work for her. Not just chose the next acceptable option.

Based on THE EDIT, I think there are only two endings that would redeem Deanna...she picks Jesse, and they agree to fun and games, and to see where it leads, or she picks Jason, but says they should date and get to know each other better before involving Ty since she is in no way ready to love them both with her whole heart.

Choosing to marry because it's the best available option out of 25 is not the way to start a life. Especially when it impacts the life of a little boy.

[northernviewer]

You know what's interesting? That Lynn7 has a favorite (Jeremy) and yet as a deaf person has some expertise on body and facial language, and she has always said from the beginning that the non-verbal interaction between Jason and De has been the most intimate. That the non-verbal communication between D and G was nervous and sexual tension filled, but between Jason and D it was very tender and loving and nurturing. I have no idea if that's true. Just bringing that over from her thread.

I see what Lynn sees too - Deanna and Jason seem to have a very intimate connection, physically and emotionally. She seems to be very comfortable around him, like she's come "home" when you see them cuddling and kissing.

[xseannax]

You know what's interesting? That Lynn7 has a favorite (Jeremy) and yet as a deaf person has some expertise on body and facial language, and she has always said from the beginning that the non-verbal interaction between Jason and De has been the most intimate. That the non-verbal communication between D and G was nervous and sexual tension filled, but between Jason and D it was very tender and loving and nurturing. I have no idea if that's true. Just bringing that over from her thread.

There is more to life and love than sexual passion. I saw passion during the game of leapfrog with Jason and his family. I saw passion when Dee watched Jason and Ty reunite. I saw passion when he comforted her after the 2:1 date. The problem is people recognize the "I want to rip your clothes off" passion and don't see the "wow this is so right" passion. When you base a relationship and marriage on purely sexual passion what happens after 2 kids, a 50 hour workweek, and a dead hamster. Sexual passion may fade---then what? You find it again with someone else? Just like with everything else, you need to have a healthy balance.