Thoughts and Comments in General #2 **Spoilers** Bachelorette 4

[procheervet]

Of all of the success stories - there was an immediate and obvious physical attraction that was built upon as the show progressed. The only immediate physical attration this year has been with Graham who, unfortunately, is not able to find a way to deal with the format. I'm sorry, and you guys can blast me for this, but I don't think there is an edit on earth that can make me feel like whoever is F1 is anything more than a consolation prize.

[2observe]

I think it is significant that n the history of The Bach/ette franchise, we have never seen this happen - not one single time We heard that Alex almost immediately emailed Trista that he had made a mistake.She didn't give him the time of day. The word was that Aaron had given his information to a cast member to give to Gwen. Nothing came of that. Travis called several times to make sure Moana was alright, and then he traveled out to see her. I believe Susan was living with Moana at the time. Nothing came of any of that. PlO got together at least socially with Sadie and that came to nothing. We have heard rumors that Andy kept in touch with both Bevin and Danielle, and none of that even turned into a date, I don't think.

If Graham had felt strongly enough for DeAnna and if DeAnna had felt that Graham was the one that she could truly make it work with, Graham would have progressed on passed F4. DeAnna and the producers would have done whatever they could have to make it work if Graham needed some allowances made for personal problems, etc.
The fact that he didn't advance past F4 tells me that everybody realized that it was for the best - and that includes DeAnna.

I think DeAnna was physically hot for Graham. I do not think she fell deeply in love with him. I do not think this is a Romeo and Juliet story. I think she was very disappointed when she realized that this first huge connection <drink> was not going to work, but then she began to seriously work on the other relationships that were already in progress.
She is a smart girl. She tried to tell him when she was with him, she put everyone else out of her mind. I think that when he left, she cut her losses, and moved on. She put her heart and her mind on the other three and began to see what was there.
I don't see her losing her opportunity just so that she can pine over what got away.

IMO, the ONLY way it could work for Graham is that there are no other men involved. Because that's the real problem that Graham is having. I don't believe that he can't open up, I just don't think he WANTS to open up knowing that there are other men involved with DeAnna. I don't think for one minute that Graham expected to really develop a relationship with DeAnna (remember what he said when she picked him up for their 1 on 1?) He was really surprised that he got the first 1 on 1 date. But apparently things changed for him, and he started having major feelings for DeAnna; but the problem is that he hasn't know her long enough to establish a serious trust factor and she's being intimate with other guys. Those of you who say that if he really cared/loved for her, he would NOT let it bother him, would you not be bothered if it was your significant other as the Bachelor/ette, and you had to watch them being intimate with other people, and you hadn't bonded enough to develop the needed trust?? The only way that I can see this show working is that feelings don't get too deep on either side before the F2. I remember Shayne had the same problem, and it was very difficult for her especially when Matt was with Robin. However, Matt would reassure Shayne about his feelings. I don't recall DeAnna doing this with Graham. It's much hard for a man become vunerable to a woman that is dating other men that he is constantly around. jmo.

[procheervet]

ITA 2Observe ITA

[BuckeyeGal007]

Of all of the success stories - there was an immediate and obvious physical attraction that was built upon as the show progressed. The only immediate physical attration this year has been with Graham who, unfortunately, is not able to find a way to deal with the format. I'm sorry, and you guys can blast me for this, but I don't think there is an edit on earth that can make me feel like whoever is F1 is anything more than a consolation prize.

I partly agree with you. I think that if the season would have ended last night with DeAnna picking her man, it would hands down be Graham. I think he was definitely love at first sight for her. Unfortunately for her, though, he just wasn't as into her as she was to him.

However, I think that DeAnna wouldn't have picked someone, just because. As much as she would have hated ending her season like Brad's, I believe that if she didn't find love with any of the guys, she wouldn't have picked someone. I think, judging from the interviews and such, that she is very happy with the ending and that she did find someone. Whether or not she's engaged, I don't know, but I believe she is very happy with the person she picked.

If she didn't pick someone, though, I will be shocked and feel very foolish and fooled!

[cantstopwatchin]

[QUOTE=natashapierre;3048057;]Yes, and they were divorced three years or so after her mom was first diagnosed with cancer (unless my time line is way off, which it might be -- I thought I read that they divorced when De was about six and her mom was diagnosed with cancer the first time when De was about three or something). Anyway, I suspect that ring would come with various kinds of ambivalence attached.[/QUOTE]

While that could be true, a ring is a ring and it's a loving memory of her mother, no matter how their marriage ended. It was a symbol of the love they shared at one point and it's something HER MOTHER wore. For that reason alone, it would be an incredible keepsake, I would think. Even if her father didn't keep it, who's to say that the aunt who watched over her didn't. However, isn't her brother married? Perhaps he already asked for it.

[anders332]

I partly agree with you. I think that if the season would have ended last night with DeAnna picking her man, it would hands down be Graham. I think he was definitely love at first sight for her. Unfortunately for her, though, he just wasn't as into her as she was to him.

However, I think that DeAnna wouldn't have picked someone, just because. As much as she would have hated ending her season like Brad's, I believe that if she didn't find love with any of the guys, she wouldn't have picked someone. I think, judging from the interviews and such, that she is very happy with the ending and that she did find someone. Whether or not she's engaged, I don't know, but I believe she is very happy with the person she picked.

If she didn't pick someone, though, I will be shocked and feel very foolish and fooled!

I don't think she'd do that either, but I think Graham (as of June 9 episode) is still her front-runner, the Pre-RC apology from Graham and the 'make-up' kiss put him back in her favour. She obviously is 'into' Jason and Jeremy, but on different levels - like she says to Chris in her DTA, she has 6 different relationships with 6 different men. I don't think it's presumptuous to say that at least one of these (besides Graham) would be worth pursuing in the outside world.

That said - I would love to know what F1 thinks of her and Graham....hmmmmm

[cinderella78]

yeah and when that one tear rolled he made sure to turn his head to show it. That made me laugh so hard. He's got some real ego issues.

The worst for me was when he was explaining his "prowess" and he actually purred. I think I threw up a little bit inside. He was for sure the least geniume of all the men there.

[Lynn RN]

Sorry if this has been asked and answered but does anyone know what the paper Deanna was holding when she returned from her 2 on 1 date was?

[Bloomers]

I am with the faction that believes Graham never comes back from the HTD, and the note is from him. Which I find incredibly sad. Deanna and Graham have the "it factor" that initially attracts we human beings to one another and it is palpable through the screen. That is what we take and build on with time and what is the bottom wrung of the ladder of an amazing relationship. If "it" isn't there, you can still build a relationship, but your ladder will be missing a very important wrung.

I can not find the quote, but DeAnna alluded to the fact that she worried that if she married Graham, he might not be able to open to her if there was a problem - or something along that line. On the Ellen Show, she said that Ellen helped her to see the whole picture. DeAnna has said several times that marriage is a one time thing for her. I believe that no matter how physically attracted to Graham she is, and she is - you can see her almost begging him to respond to her, both physically and emotionally - she is going to begin questioning in her mind if this relationship is the right one for the marriage long haul.

Physically they have the "it" factor, but emotionally they are two very different kind of people. She can't go into that relationship thinking she can change him into what she needs him to be. While they might have a wonderful intimate side of marriage with the "it" factor, if they can't or don't communicate, they are soon going to be at odds and very unhappy.

[shellys]

Of all of the success stories - there was an immediate and obvious physical attraction that was built upon as the show progressed. The only immediate physical attration this year has been with Graham who, unfortunately, is not able to find a way to deal with the format. I'm sorry, and you guys can blast me for this, but I don't think there is an edit on earth that can make me feel like whoever is F1 is anything more than a consolation prize.

Disagree....Trista has said repeatedly Charlie was the one she had the immediate physical attraction to....Ryan grew on her over time.

I think Deanna can still find love/happiness IF she's willing to admit to herself that Graham is not relationship/husband material and move on with the process.