Behind the Edit **SPOILERS**

[procheervet]

I disagree, I think Graham is being portrayed as a one woman man looking for a one man woman and had he met Deanna at the corner grocery store, we would be seeing a once in a lifetime romance.

[Google]

 

[pajamasam]

It does seem as though this scenario has been created by the producers.
However, I would think that leaving at final 7-8 is a lot easier than leaving as the final one. By that time they are definitely more emotionally involved.
Also De Anna does mention that because Fred thought he was staying, it was the hardest part for her. She is determined not to string anyone along, and is continuing to do just that. I also read that she will skip the pre-rose ceremony next time because her mind is already made up as to who will be going. They will be spared attempts to change her mind on that occasion.

specialized , this is a good point. I think the producers are trying to emphasize in both situations how completely different DeAnna is compared to Brad. They are trying to beat us over the head with how decisive she is. I dont know if they chose Fred and Robert on purpose for the 2 on 1 but I'm inclined to think so. They surely suggested that she could get rid of both at once. Remember the ABC medianet description (that was quoted earlier):

Then in a bombshell verdict, DeAnna proves that, unlike Brad, she can make a difficult decision early in her journey.

ABC Medianet

It's like they are hitting us over the head with it. I get it ABC, I get it. She's the polar opposite of Brad. She's not going to lead anyone on. (Right. It's impossible.) They seem to be committed to editing her in this way. I think they just want to continue to get their digs in about Brad. Their anger has apparently not subsided.

[procheervet]

I wonder if HWSNBN regrets not dating for a week and breaking it off now that he has felt the wrath! LOL!

[xseannax]

Wow, lots of Graham fans are coming out of the woodwork. After watching their interactions I see attraction (by both, but more on her side) and incredible frustration. Everyone sees his reaction to her being with other guys as a sign of how into her he is. That may be the case, but it also may be a case of "I don't know if I want you, but I certainly don't want anyone else to have you." I don't see the emotional connection there with Graham. He got the first 1:1 and if he had taken advantage of that then the show could have ended then and there. But we saw him holding back, going hot and cold, and not being able to express himself very well. DeAnna is giving him more slack than ANYONE else and for whatever reason he just doesn't take advantage of it. It would have been interesting to see this past RC if she had one less rose...would Graham still be there? Attraction is great...but something else needs to be there (Charlie, Bettina, Amanda...). I don't doubt that in real life Graham is a nice guy, but this format is a disaster for him, and at this point in his life, he's not a good emotional (forever) connection with Dee. I remember one insider tip that said he left, had a hand in his own leaving, but wasn't just his choice. I could see them talking about the lack of emotional connection between them and both thinking it would be a good idea if he didn't stay. The crying pic---heck she has cried at every RC, so that doesn't mean she is devasted by his departure.

It is obvious that Dee is connecting with Jason and Jeremy on an emotional and physical level. I see her being sure of F1 at the F3 cut, because I see her sending Jason home at that point if he wasn't her choice. She knows how attached Jeremy is and wants to spare him. Haven't we heard that they are more generous with the time on F3...that the Bach/lette are allowed to spend more time talking to F3 and explaining why. F2 they are so worried about the lighting and the arrival of F1, that position seems to get shortchanged.

[chrisg]

Originally Posted by procheervet

If Graham had met Deanna anyplace else and we had seen the chemistry between them we would all be doing the happy dance saying lucky D, because they met here and he is not OK with sharing her with other men and says so, some people can't get rid of him fast enough. Age gives you a different perspective about thing worth having and how sometimes, you have to bend for them, wait for them, work for them, and from one old lady - Graham is worth bending waiting and working for. Just look at Brian's website for confirmation of what a wonderful person he is.

A wonderful person does not equate with a person who is ready for marriage, imo. And if your goal is marriage--as DeAnna has said that it is--she needs to choose from the universe of guys who are also at that same place in life. And under these circumstances, "bend for them, wait for them, work for them" is the equivalent of one person completely subjugating their goals for another and I would never do the happy dance at the thought of anyone doing that. Particularly another woman. We deal with enough bs as it is. She wants to get married and she deserves to find and fall in love with a guy who is also ready for that.

[BachfanNY]

Especially after their candid conversation at the race track, it sounded like Graham wanted De to be exclusive to him. Which at this stage is ridiculous.

And I think his comment about being a "follow-up guy" was kind of out of line because she had not kissed anyone, not Sean, and not Jeremy, though she could have.

[Lifeisgood2]

Originally Posted by procheervet

If Graham had met Deanna anyplace else and we had seen the chemistry between them we would all be doing the happy dance saying lucky D, because they met here and he is not OK with sharing her with other men and says so, some people can't get rid of him fast enough. Age gives you a different perspective about thing worth having and how sometimes, you have to bend for them, wait for them, work for them, and from one old lady - Graham is worth bending waiting and working for. Just look at Brian's website for confirmation of what a wonderful person he is.

I did read Brian's website about the workout with Graham and I thought wow this guy really knows what life is about. However, I do find it interesting that Graham wasn't willing to apply those same priniciples to winning DeAnna's heart. He doesn't seem to be willing to fight for her and make the best of what they have. I do see a connection between them but I find his actions very immature and I guess I just don't think he thinks she is worth the effort. What I see between them is a deep physical connection but nothing more to build on. Real-life takes more than chemistry. I think Graham is a GREAT guy I just don't see him being the right guy for DeAnna. Not as a husband anyway.

[KareyR2]

Originally Posted by procheervet

If Graham had met Deanna anyplace else and we had seen the chemistry between them we would all be doing the happy dance saying lucky D, because they met here and he is not OK with sharing her with other men and says so, some people can't get rid of him fast enough. Age gives you a different perspective about thing worth having and how sometimes, you have to bend for them, wait for them, work for them, and from one old lady - Graham is worth bending waiting and working for. Just look at Brian's website for confirmation of what a wonderful person he is.

I think Grayham could be a wonderful person as a buddy, friend, but I don't see anything different in a chance for a relationship with DeAnna whether they met in real life, or during this "process". Grayham has some real issues that he needs to address, not the least of which is that he can not sustain a relationship past 5 months, or can even barely make eye contact. And he doesn't seem to have a clue what he wants. Gray, until he deals with those issues, will never be husband material, or really not even boyfriend material. I don't want someone like him near any woman's heart, until he has dealt with whatever is not allowing him to move to the next step with a woman....which his past lacking of romantic history would suggest. The guy might be a great buddy, but he is not a woman's romantic ideal of a boyfriend or husband at this point, a one night stand, or fling, notwithstanding. Hopefully Gray is realizing he needs to do some work, and needs some help, and will do that. I would love to see him happy...he just doesn't seem like a happy man to me. JMO. Thanks
Karey

[Spoil Me]

Originally Posted by BachfanNY

Especially after their candid conversation at the race track, it sounded like Graham wanted De to be exclusive to him. Which at this stage is ridiculous.

And I think his comment about being a "follow-up guy" was kind of out of line because she had not kissed anyone, not Sean, and not Jeremy, though she could have.

There is no doubt that Graham is having a difficult time dealing with the situation he is in, but when I think back to Ryan and how hard it was for him watching Trista make connections/ take other guys out etc...he stuck with it because he was falling in love with her & was willing to deal with it because of what he believed was between them.

He was willing to put himself out there for her, in spite of the difficulties he had with the "situation".

Ian is another one who was extremely uncomfortable with the situation, but stuck with it because of his feelings for Meredith.

IMO, if Graham really and truly felt something brewing between he and Deanna, he would have made more of an effort to focus on just her and the connection the two of them have, instead of the connections she may have with the other guys.

There is NO doubt that they are in a tough situation, but life is fall of tough situations - some are worth fighting for and working through and some aren't . Obviously his feelings for Deanna are not strong enough to make him want to stick with it and see what happens...

Graham seems unwilling to take the risk that is needed in opening up and truly finding out if Deanna is the one for him - not that there is anything wrong with that, but in this situation, that is what is needed. He isn't in the same place in his life that she is

[procheervet]

Originally Posted by chrisg

A wonderful person does not equate with a person who is ready for marriage, imo. And if your goal is marriage--as DeAnna has said that it is--she needs to choose from the universe of guys who are also at that same place in life. And under these circumstances, "bend for them, wait for them, work for them" is the equivalent of one person completely subjugating their goals for another and I would never do the happy dance at the thought of anyone doing that. Particularly another woman. We deal with enough bs as it is. She wants to get married and she deserves to find and fall in love with a guy who is also ready for that.

Then please explain why so many people are so over the top about Deanna choosing Jason, a man who, for her to be with him, requires more sacrifice on Deanna's part than any other man on the show?