Behind the Edit **SPOILERS**

[drewmatt]

Originally Posted by Netcam

One thing that stuck out for me in the RC edit, Jason didn't bother to wear a tie. He seemed to be completely casual and laid back like he already knew he was getting a rose, so no need to dress like his life depended on it. He also was the only guy who didn't already have a rose, to be shown not having a 1-1 convo with DeAnna. And he names Twilley as his guess on who is leaving, not even pausing to think about it. All that happens and she calls his name out first and he has the longest hug/kiss with her!!

You know, often the host doesn't dress as formally as his guests - and Jason was "at home".

[Google]

 

[muslady]

Originally Posted by jelle

I think you are right that she may feel (rightly or not) that she has been taking care of everyone. But I think it is hard for her, or at least does not come by it naturally. She is not a caretaker, as a nurse, or teacher or mother/father might naturally be. I think she is desparate to get out of any caretakeing roll and finally have her own life.

I do not see her as caretaking any of the guys. I see her as trying to bend them to her will, although I agree she may see it as caretaking. I was hoping to see her really enjoy the guys and try to get to know them as real people and who they are. The story that is being told is that she is measuring them on how attentive they are to her and how they perform according to her requirements.

She does need caretaking, lots, but she cannot seem to give up control enough to let someone do it, except for Jason, who is a nurturer, a father, and has been a husband, and has a psychology degree.

There were good guys who would have loved to nurture and caretake her, if she would abdicate some control and relax enough to let them.

Jelle, I agree with you especially the bold part. However, if Jason were not interested in the job I think he could also go the other way per his psychology degree. I think this also tells just how interested Jason is in DeAnna and vice versa at this point. Their 1-1 really put them at a new level and Jason realized this when talking about Graham not being at the same place. Jason really did some sizing up of the entire situation on this last episode.

[suza19]

Originally Posted by PiperMaru

Thanks for the heads up Mike’sgirl. I’m just working my way through this section!

Marlap! Spot on! Big ‘ol honkin’ red flag on that one, eh? (Are you sure you don’t wanna come here and help me transcribe? There’s a truckload of Godiva in it for you!)



Cheers, Luv! Why does one transcribe? Two words: SHEER INSANITY. Your son got Hoovered? Oh my. That’s inventive!

And the “insurance kiss.” Spot on. That’s a perfect description. Graham’s taken that tact two weeks in a row now. Let’s see if it happens again next week, eh?

It’s funny that you guys bring up the moon, as I just made mention of something in the transcript relating to that. As a side note FWIW. In a number of Survivor seasons we were shown all measure of moon shots. It was, in fact, so prevalent in Survivor Thailand that it became something that we too tracked and found it to be significant in dictating various edits. We pulled every moon reference as well as sunrises and sunsets out of each episode transcription, and damned if we didn’t have a pattern that indicated upcoming boots. Whomever got a certain type of moon shot (as opposed to a sunset or sunrise) bore a specific fate. It was utterly fascinating.

Sounds like a Literature class, trying to find the meaning in everything... ummm I didn't think these guys were that smart... well it looks like I'm learning something new

[natashapierre]

Originally Posted by jelle

An interesting parallel, comparing her eliminating two guys vs Brad eliminating both his girls:
Either Deanna chose two guys that she knew she was going to eliminate, or TPTB set it all up to deliver this similarity -
Both guys come to diner, uneasy, but confident one will still be there vs rose ceremony set up
She lets Robert go in front of Fred vs Brad telling Deanna he had just let Jenni go.
Fred gets all excited and relieved, as Deanna did, and then she dumps him also.
Did you notice her hesitation and look to the side mimicing Brad stepping off the podium to compose himself? Then she continues and rejects Fred. TPTB describe this as "strong" and "knowing her own mind." Well - you know the other side of the coin
However, the similarity ends there .... Fred is gracious, kind, voices his disappointment, and wishes her only the best, exiting gracefully. Contrast that with Deanna's exit.

Why are TPTB showing it this way? You cannot help but reflect on the similarities.

Another interesting contrast:
Graham voices he is uncomfortable with the process and Deanna gets angry and blames him.
Robert has too much to drink, gets angry (his alone time has been spoiled and he has to cook again) and goes to take a break - instead of letting him cool down, Deanna goes after him and blames him for ruining the party.
Deanna comes home after letting Fred and Robert go. Jason askes her if she wants to talk about it. He listens, non-judgementally, letting her calm down soothing her and tending to her needs.

This was an interesting show.

Very interesting recap of it, too. I don't think a Bachelor (as opposed to a Bachelorette) would get away with any of these actions and attitudes. He'd be bashed to high heaven by all and sundry for acting like a complete jerk. Funny what we'll excuse for different genders.

[suza19]

Originally Posted by jelle

An interesting parallel, comparing her eliminating two guys vs Brad eliminating both his girls:
Either Deanna chose two guys that she knew she was going to eliminate, or TPTB set it all up to deliver this similarity -
Both guys come to diner, uneasy, but confident one will still be there vs rose ceremony set up
She lets Robert go in front of Fred vs Brad telling Deanna he had just let Jenni go.
Fred gets all excited and relieved, as Deanna did, and then she dumps him also.
Did you notice her hesitation and look to the side mimicing Brad stepping off the podium to compose himself? Then she continues and rejects Fred. TPTB describe this as "strong" and "knowing her own mind." Well - you know the other side of the coin
However, the similarity ends there .... Fred is gracious, kind, voices his disappointment, and wishes her only the best, exiting gracefully. Contrast that with Deanna's exit.

Why are TPTB showing it this way? You cannot help but reflect on the similarities.

Another interesting contrast:
Graham voices he is uncomfortable with the process and Deanna gets angry and blames him.
Robert has too much to drink, gets angry (his alone time has been spoiled and he has to cook again) and goes to take a break - instead of letting him cool down, Deanna goes after him and blames him for ruining the party.
Deanna comes home after letting Fred and Robert go. Jason askes her if she wants to talk about it. He listens, non-judgementally, letting her calm down soothing her and tending to her needs.

This was an interesting show.

Yes it was a great and interesting show and I can't wait to read Piper's next segment...
I really enjoyed reading your post. I also have to wonder about the way the 2 on 1 date was presented, maybe the producers way to show a bit of Brad in Deanna.... ummmm .
But the difference was she really never led them on (like Brad) and I could see that Fred would be a great friend to her, just not boyfriend.
BTW why do you think it still sleepless in Seattle?

[KashatheDiva]

Originally Posted by jelle

I think you are right that she may feel (rightly or not) that she has been taking care of everyone. But I think it is hard for her, or at least does not come by it naturally. She is not a caretaker, as a nurse, or teacher or mother/father might naturally be. I think she is desparate to get out of any caretakeing roll and finally have her own life.

I do not see her as caretaking any of the guys. I see her as trying to bend them to her will, although I agree she may see it as caretaking. I was hoping to see her really enjoy the guys and try to get to know them as real people and who they are. The story that is being told is that she is measuring them on how attentive they are to her and how they perform according to her requirements.

She does need caretaking, lots, but she cannot seem to give up control enough to let someone do it, except for Jason, who is a nurturer, a father, and has been a husband, and has a psychology degree.

There were good guys who would have loved to nurture and caretake her, if she would abdicate some control and relax enough to let them.

Great thoughts!

A successful caretaker/nurturer has the desire to get to know those he is taking care of/nurturing in order to take care of them best--ie:teacher, health care worker. You can't take meet someone's needs/goals, until you know what those needs/goals are.
It seems like De applied her own needs to the men and so would be unable to effectively meet their needs, making them feel reassured or as if any connection was made.

In order to make a successful match, the parties involved need to be able to assess each other and then determine if they are able to meet that person's needs or if they want to meet that person's needs. That's a two way street.

We don't see De trying to get to know the guys as much as we hear how important it is for them to get to know her. Maybe she did, but it was cut from the edits.
Perhaps if she had focused more on each man individually and his needs/wants/desires she would have been more successful in assessing how he could match up with her needs/wants/desires.

You can't fit a square peg into a round hole--but if you never willing to open your eyes enough to see if its a square peg, a triangle peg or a star peg--your lost before you even begin.
You might be able to "feel" some don't fit, but what about the oval? You need to open your eyes for that one.

[musicmom]

Kasha - wow! The best post I have read in awhile! She does seem to be testing out which guy will treat her the best. Understandable, since she has reportedly been mistreated in the past. Sounds like she is trying hard not to repeat mistakes (sorry, Graham). I do hope that she is taking the time to ask about the guys' dreams and hopes in life. For editing purposes, it would make sense to stick to the "who is treating me the best", because that fits Deanna's story line, breaking free of her past and getting her fairy tale. I just hope D can support Jason the way a man like that deserves !

[Ti11ie]

Originally Posted by KashatheDiva

You can't fit a square peg into a round hole--but if you never willing to open your eyes enough to see if its a square peg, a triangle peg or a star peg--your lost before you even begin.
You might be able to "feel" some don't fit, but what about the oval? You need to open your eyes for that one.

You can totally fit any kind of peg into the round hole, as long as the circumference of the round hole is large enough to circumvent the shape. I think it's about acceptance--if the round hole is open-minded enough, and not too "my way or the highway" about it.

[procheervet]

If Graham had met Deanna anyplace else and we had seen the chemistry between them we would all be doing the happy dance saying lucky D, because they met here and he is not OK with sharing her with other men and says so, some people can't get rid of him fast enough. Age gives you a different perspective about thing worth having and how sometimes, you have to bend for them, wait for them, work for them, and from one old lady - Graham is worth bending waiting and working for. Just look at Brian's website for confirmation of what a wonderful person he is.

[cheekychook]

Originally Posted by procheervet

If Graham had met Deanna anyplace else and we had seen the chemistry between them we would all be doing the happy dance saying lucky D, because they met here and he is not OK with sharing her with other men and says so, some people can't get rid of him fast enough. Age gives you a different perspective about thing worth having and how sometimes, you have to bend for them, wait for them, work for them, and from one old lady - Graham is worth bending waiting and working for. Just look at Brian's website for confirmation of what a wonderful person he is.

No one's saying Graham isn't a wonderful person, or at least I am not saying that. I have a very close male friend who is one of the greatest people I have ever known---sweet, caring, thoughtful, gorgeous----but I wouldn't date him or set him up with a friend in a million years, because even at the age of 38 he is STILL not capable of being a great boyfriend/husband---it doesn't make him a bad person, at all---just a bad choice as significant other. That's what I see in Graham, at least AS THE EDIT portrays him.