Jason **SPOILERS**

[Lynn7]

Originally Posted by skylighter

You said that the emphasis on Jason being a single dad was giving him the kind of edit that makes him unlikely to be F1. I gave a possible scenario of how that "single-dad emphasis" could work very well into him being F1, given DeAnna's backstory. This is all within the context of the world that the show has created. If you want to talk about the "real world," I can come up with plenty of reasons why DeAnna could have problems making a relationship work no matter which bachelor she chooses.

I agree with you. I mean, come on, 50% of marital relationships sadly end in divorce (and that's FIRST time marriages). Of those endings probably 90% of them involve children. These days, meeting a single parent is pretty much a given. To act like this is so rare, because it's a reality dating show, is just plain naive.

She gave the producers all of the attributes of the kind of man she was looking for and they gave that to her. That two of them are divorced and one has a child shouldn't preclude them from meeting her IMHO.

I spoke more about this in the BLF thread but look at her expressions in these progressing caps.

He had told her about his child, Ty, on their 1on1 date:

1on1 date:

Fantasy/Last Chance date:


I'd say she was just fine by the announcement/declaration that he had been divorced and had a child.

[Google]

 

[Lynn7]

Originally Posted by heatheshells10

I know that this is spoilers and speculation and Jason put himself out there to be judged, but I think all the speculation about whether Jason is a good father may be crossing the line. We are to speculate how far we think he goes and whether maybe we think he could be a good match for DeAnna. His background information is useful, but I think there is a line. There is no amount of digging that will tell us how good of a father Jason is. The awful situation he was put in and the way he has seemingly dealt with it gives me all I need to know. I guess maybe I have a different perspective since I'm young and do not have children, but I don't think it's fair to judge someone's parenting when we don't know Jason, his son nor have we witnessed his parenting. People make decisions for different reasons. Everyone is different and has different ideas about what is a good and what is a bad idea. I'm not trying to justify his going on the show or letting his son appear on camera and I'm not trying to say that your opinion is not valid, I'm just trying to say that it is not right to judge whether Jason is a good father just based on what we've seen so far. I personally never feel right judging someone's parenting when I know nothing of the situation, but that's just me.

I agree. Maybe I'm more simple minded than most but if I saw someone that I thought could complete my family I would seek them out after weighing all of the downfalls of that choice for my family.

[grneyedgirl]

I don't think that people are saying that Jason is a bad father or that he is crazy for wanting to find a woman to share his life with.

I think the concern is with him not only leaving the child for 6 weeks to film a reality TV show, but also that the son was used in the preview clips. Am I close?

People leave their children all the time. It's just that most people don't have video crews in their house filming it. No, they probably don't leave for 6 weeks. But I don't think a 3 year old has a clear concept of time, do they?

[bugsme3]

Saying that Trista gets millions displaying her child out, is going to happen to Ty too, especially if Deanna picks Jason as her husband to be. You can bet that ABC will pay for that wedding to get ratings and all the magazine covers that goes along with it. People, Us Weekly and the tardy tabloids. I wont presume to know or criticize Jason if this is right for him so be it, it looks like it work, best wishes to them all

[mamaspy]

Originally Posted by jelle

It is my opinion that it was poor judgement to put his three year old child on reality tv. Whether that is considered poor parenting or not, that is up to anyone else. I cannot understand why any parent would ever do that. Perhaps there is a reason - perhaps it paid his rent - perhaps he thought it was cute - perhaps it insured a good edit. Who knows?

Trista and Ryan are showing off their little family for money. They are no different that the movie stars who get paid really big bucks for first baby photos. Perhaps Jason got paid enough to make it worth his while also.

How do we know Trista and Ryan- because they are the first reality couple that actually married- and here they are with a baby that proves the real relationship. Many people frown on them for putting the baby's pics out there- but I'm sure any fans who saw the magazine covers, picked them up and looked. I did. With some celebrities who do not show their children, the paparazzi drive them foolish. Maybe Trista and Ryan thought showing his pictures would ensure them more privacy after.
As for Jason and his son, his intro with the scenes of Ty could have been filmed later, after he actually returned. I do not think there are any during the HT date because I can't imagine Ty not clinging to his daddy who has been away from him for what? 4 weeks already? When he tells Ty he is staying with Aunty? because Daddy has to go byebye- he may have been going to the store for all his son knew. I work with 3 year olds everyday- and most attack their parents when they return to pick them up after 4-6 hours, I cannot see anyway they could show scenes with Ty on the HT date. I think it would make Jason look to the viewer like a poor father for leaving his son who is likely very emotional on his father's return.

JMO- and I've been known to be wrong.

ETA- and cameras and film crews will be much more 'traumatic' to a 3 year old than an infant. And with the added interest after the show- I just can't see where it is a good situation for any child.

[appiah01]

I grew up in a family that does foster care. We would have children come to stay with us, go home, and then be removed from their home again. I think people are underestimating children's resilience. He's 3...he will get over the trauma of his dad going away for 6 weeks as do children whose parents are in the military or salesmen or businessmen who travel frequently or doctors who could be called into the hospital on a moments notice. Life is far from perfect and people make choices that aren't right or wrong or inherently good or bad all of the time. I believe that good or bad is so subjective in this instance because it is based upon what you would choose to do for your child. I am sure that Jason was able to talk to his son all of the time while he was away and sought out the counsel of family before deciding to go on the show. He did what he thought was best for his life and for his child. Honestly maybe Deanna is the perfect woman for him. People have met in crazier ways than this show. Maybe Deanna and Jason are different than the other couples who met on this show. Both seem a bit more grounded and real to me than other couples I have seen on this show and maybe they can make it work. Crazier things have happened. I understand why one would not choose this for themselves but I do not see this as making Jason any less of a loving, responsible parent. I've seen irresponsible parents who choose things like drugs and prostitution over their children. Choosing a reality dating show ranks as minute on my scale of parental impropriety.

With all of the things kids go through in this life all over the world- war, famine, true abandonment, starvation, being orphaned due to AIDS...this seems to be minor on the trauma scale. Somehow children in those circumstances find a way to survive because they have to. I am sure Ty will be just fine. He has a parent who appears to adore him and likely a whole extended family willing to care for him. As a working single parent I would guess that Jason has only so much time to spend with Ty inthe first place but it appears that he makes the time count.

With regards to cameras- do we get up in arms when we see news programs semi exploiting children by filming starving kids with insects all over them, child actors who get paid money and are thrust into media by their parents often to their detriment, cute children in commercials, kids on America's Funniest Home Videos or with Cosby on Kid's Say the Darndest Things, or investigative pieces about child prostitutes where the cameras film the children and then leave them in those horrible situations? Probably not as often as we should. What is the difference? Money? What about when we watch TLC programs like a Baby Story where people film their children playing, at school, going about their lives and then even let us into the intimate moments of their birth experience? I haven't heard outage at that. Again children are resilient and in my opinion there are much bigger issues of exploitation than this.

[marlap]

Kids are in television and movies all the time. An earlier post reminded us of Mary's (from Bob and Byron seasons) nieces and nephews being on the show and coloring pictures.

Three-year-olds also appear in movies and television all the time. Not only child actors, but kids being their real selves...one of Oprah's "smart kids" shows had a four-year-old geography whiz and another 4 yr old history whiz (they were SO cute!)

I just don't see any harm in it at all. How could it possibly harm Ty to appear in the show??? I can't think of a single way he could be harmed by that. Besides, kids LOVE being on televison. I was on a local kiddie birthday Saturnday morning show when I was little... I loved it!

Ty probably watched that Monday night sitting on Jason's lap and laughed and clapped and was THRILLED to see himself on TV. "Daddy, Daddy, I'm on TV!!!" I can't imagine it would for any reason upset him or scar him.

As far as Jason being gone for a few weeks...Ty is with family and Fleiss could very easily (and it would not surprise me if they did) set up a video conference call or regular telephone call with Jason and Ty every day so they could touch base. Parents have to leave kids all the time for all sorts of reasons. My mom remarried when I was five and went on a two-week honeymoon while I stayed with my Mimi and PaPaw.

I just don't have any problems at all with Ty being left with family for a few weeks while daddy goes bye bye, or with his being on TV.

It's perfectly okay and no harm will come of it.

[Estella]

Originally Posted by mamaspy

How do we know Trista and Ryan- because they are the first reality couple that actually married- and here they are with a baby that proves the real relationship. Many people frown on them for putting the baby's pics out there- but I'm sure any fans who saw the magazine covers, picked them up and looked. I did. With some celebrities who do not show their children, the paparazzi drive them foolish. Maybe Trista and Ryan thought showing his pictures would ensure them more privacy after.
As for Jason and his son, his intro with the scenes of Ty could have been filmed later, after he actually returned. I do not think there are any during the HT date because I can't imagine Ty not clinging to his daddy who has been away from him for what? 4 weeks already? When he tells Ty he is staying with Aunty? because Daddy has to go byebye- he may have been going to the store for all his son knew. I work with 3 year olds everyday- and most attack their parents when they return to pick them up after 4-6 hours, I cannot see anyway they could show scenes with Ty on the HT date. I think it would make Jason look to the viewer like a poor father for leaving his son who is likely very emotional on his father's return.

JMO- and I've been known to be wrong.

ETA- and cameras and film crews will be much more 'traumatic' to a 3 year old than an infant. And with the added interest after the show- I just can't see where it is a good situation for any child.

I think from the filming timeline we have that Jason's HTD was the last one. Maybe they allowed him to spend two or three days with Ty before? That would explain why Ty doesn't seem like he hasn't seen his daddy for four weeks. I'm just thinking this because it would not make sense to me at all that Jason told Ty to make a card for DeAnna before the taping. btw, I also think they might have never shown Ty if Jason hadn't made it far (actually I think they show him so much because Jason is F1... but that's jmho).
I'm sure that Jason is a wonderful daddy, my heart melted when I saw the intro with Ty!!!

[Secret]

Originally Posted by heatheshells10

I don't think getting paid is a good reason to have your child be on television or in magazines. Maybe my opinion is completely wackadoodle but I would rather see the child in a short segment of Jason's life, keep in mind lots of the men had segments and Ty is key in Jason's life, than pictures splayed all over the newstands of a newborn and bringing the child all over talk shows and such. Jason did not get paid, I'm sure. I honestly believe, and you can call me a hopeless romantic or naiive as I am the first and can be the second from time to time, that Jason went on the show after watching B11. His mom liked DeAnna, so I assume that Jason had seen the show as well. I think he had been separated from his wife for a while, saw her get her heart broken and it resonated with him. I think he saw something in her that compelled him to go on the show to get a chance to meet her. I believe that it was hard for him to leave his son, but this was the only opportunity he had. He did not just up and abandon his son. We could debate whether it was a good decision but obviously you feel it was not. I was just providing insight as to why he might have felt differently. I think getting paid millions of dollars to pimp your child out in pictures with the press is worse, but that's just my opinion. I'm sure your mileage varies, which is good. Life would be boring if we all were robots and had the same opinions!

Good post, I agree. I'm not a parent, so my perspective is different from someone with children. I'm not surprised that many are skeptical of Jason as a person, and as a parent, because he left his son to shoot a reality TV show and because he dared to include his son in the taping. Well, I think Jason has just as much right as anyone else to take a chance to find love. It isn't like he shipped him off to a distant relative and put him out of his mind for six weeks. Since we know he goes far, I think the show will probably focus quite a bit on not only Deanna's reaction to Jason's story, but also on Jason's reaction to Deanna. His struggle at being away from his son, but falling in love with Deanna, at the same time.

I understand why people are uncomfortable with bringing Ty into the process, and I'll admit, I'm surprised at how much they showed him, but I think he is an important piece to his story - really, the third person involved if Deanna chooses him. It's kind of a necessary evil to include him, at least in some way, for the show. From where I'm sitting, what was shown of Ty was far from pimping him out. I don't think they went out of their way to exploit him. I think what we saw was respectful - hopefully that continues. It was showing a glimpse of Jason's life and Ty is a big part of that.

No matter the circumstances, though, Jason is really in somewhat of a no win position. What he chose to do will be viewed by some as selfish, a bad choice, or that he's a bad parent. I personally don't think you can reach that conclusion from what we've seen so far, but that's just my opinion. If he finds love with Deanna, and I hope that he does, I think he'll be OK with people casting judgment on him - it'll happen anyway, no matter what happens.

[mamaspy]

Originally Posted by Estella

I think from the filming timeline we have that Jason's HTD was the last one. Maybe they allowed him to spend two or three days with Ty before? That would explain why Ty doesn't seem like he hasn't seen his daddy for four weeks. I'm just thinking this because it would not make sense to me at all that Jason told Ty to make a card for DeAnna before the taping. btw, I also think they might have never shown Ty if Jason hadn't made it far (actually I think they show him so much because Jason is F1... but that's jmho).
I'm sure that Jason is a wonderful daddy, my heart melted when I saw the intro with Ty!!!

The problem with posting on these boards, is that people read their own inflections into another's words. I was making a comment that I didn't think it was possible that the scenes with Ty were done during the HT date because he didn't act like a child who had missed his dad for 4 weeks. I used the word traumatic for lack of a better word, I just meant that a 3 yr old would remember the cameras and upheaval of the day unlike an infant (responding to those who were basically calling Trista and Ryan terrible parents for showing their child.)

I have no doubt from what we did see that Jason is a wonderful father to his son, that cannot be faked. I don't believe that Ty will be permanantly scarred by his dad's absence, or by the cameras for a few hours. But I do think it would be in his best interest if his father does not allow him to be introduced to Deanna infront of a production crew, and she could 'meet' him through a photo album, and if Jason is her choice, she and Ty could develop a relationship away from the cameras. So unlike those who cannot wait to see the big meeting- I hope we don't see it.

So hopefully the posts I read in regards to mine- were not written with the inflection that I read them with. Almost makes a person want to stay away from the boards.
I keep telling myself, we're only seeing what they want to show us.........remember that hot pic of Matt we thought was from Amanda's date and showed how much he wanted her? Ended up being almost a smirk when she was trying to convince him she cared. So I try not to 'read ' too much emotion into any SC.

ETA- I think I quoted Estella's post because it was the last one I read, and actually think she is thinking more along the lines I was. Appiah01- I think you took my use of the word traumatic too literally. I have fostered a teenager, and I have a couple of young children in my care presently during the day who are going through end stage cancer in a parent and the loss of a sibling in a tragic accident. So I do know the difference between the invasion of cameras in a childs life for a few hours and real trauma.