Graham **SPOILERS**

[goldie2]

Originally Posted by xseannax

Graham was not emotionally prepared for the show. Whether it is issues with the past relationship, his not being sure of who he is, or his inability to open up to people, the bottom line is he should not be there. I agree with Dee...he signed up to date 1 woman with 25 boyfriends. In that situation you have to come outside yourself, outside your comfort zone, and put your heart on the line knowing that you could get rejected in the end. It frustrates me to see Dee chasing after him when there are other guys there willing and able to be open with their feelings. Yes there is chemistry, probably more on her part than his, but chemistry doesn't make a relationship it just adds to it. Graham is so caught up in his feelings he really doesn't take a minute to remember that SHE HAS BEEN THERE. He cares about his feelings of jealousy or insecurity and doesn't care that she did go through the exact same process and that she is doing everything can can to be truthful and honest with everyone. This isn't an ideal situation for anyone, but the other guys are managing to overcome their jealousy to take the time they have with her and make the most of it. The other guys even overcome Dee being so obvisously attracted to Graham and how she let's him get away with not expressing his feelings like everyone else. Graham should have bowed out a lot earlier than F4 because he was not prepared to open up to her.

I give him a lot of credit for trying..she said so herself..No one knows the circumstances of what really happened here..some have said maybe he is gun shy because of a his previous relationship that ended right before the show..who knows,maybe..I don't think anyone can say without knowing him...

He seems like a guy, from what all have said that does,however,know himself pretty well and what he wants...I am not buying at all that he didn't know himself well enough to do this show...ridiculous...

I am sure there was alot of emotional manipulation going on with all of them and this is some of what we are seeing....

[Google]

 

[ilovemick]

Originally Posted by drparoo

Ok, I'm going to have to concede that I sometimes feel the same way. But you know what? Other people are envious of OUR marriage and have told me so. So I don't know what the "right" answer is.

I will say that, God forbid, if my husband ever should die, I'm not marrying again. I've had the solid, stable, good friendhip-based marriage already and it's been a good home for my kids. Next time I'm going to go find Graham and Jeremy and just have boy toys.

I am right there with you!

[Mike'sgirl]

Graham seems to be very shy/awkward emotionally and is struggling whether it is worth it for him to put it all out there in front of the world.

I think he was confident after his first 1:1 date, but lost it. I see Graham in complete control of the situation while in the hammock, confidence restored; but I am not sure that he cares as much for De as she does for him. That beach date was very awkward to me, she was pulling teeth trying to get to know him. If all they have is a really physical, chemical, passionate attraction, then yeah that's hot right now; but do they have enough emotional compatibility to support long term?

I think it is great that he is stretching outside of his box to grow emotionally, but I am not sure whether he is right for her. I do think that for De to not have the chance to completely work through her feelings for Graham, will mean that she will not walk away with anyone else. Oh, she will make a choice for FR, but it won't last long. ( a part of her will be holding out for Graham to pursue her and say all the idealistic things she hopes to hear from him).

[double_standard]

Originally Posted by drparoo

Ok, I'm going to have to concede that I sometimes feel the same way. But you know what? Other people are envious of OUR marriage and have told me so. So I don't know what the "right" answer is.

I will say that, God forbid, if my husband ever should die, I'm not marrying again. I've had the solid, stable, good friendhip-based marriage already and it's been a good home for my kids. Next time I'm going to go find Graham and Jeremy and just have boy toys.

Which is exactly why many of us were happy that Meredith took a chance with Ian. It's sad that it didn't work out but she does have some good memories.

And this is why I hope Deanna escapes Fleiss as soon as she can and explores that chemistry with Graham!!

Editing to add --

I just realized that I might also make this suggestion if we were watching people in a bar late at night!! I suppose I'd want those with chemistry to hook up but I also know it would probably only lead to a one-night stand. So now I'm questioning what exactly I do expect from the relationships on this show???

[wheatgal]

Graham is super hot and she is a fool if she doesn't get him on a fantasy date! They need less talk and more action.

[procheervet]

You should absolutely never let that kind of attraction get away!

[emusha]

Originally Posted by procheervet

You should absolutely never let that kind of attraction get away!

why so procheervet?

[procheervet]

A relationship without it is always going to be lacking something. That's why we work so hard to find the perfect mate and it is so difficult. It's one in a million when you have that chemistry, and then even harder to find the emotional compatibility with a person with whom you have the chemistry, if you can find both, you have won life's little jackpot. You should always explore the relationship that begins with the chemistry because if it isn't there, it isn't there.

[2observe]

Originally Posted by bachlorfan

Not me. I think she just has the hots for him, I wouldn't say the "L: word at all. Someone has to get the "Chemistry" edit , ala Bevin.

Ian also got the "Chemistry" edit and it was more than physical. He just didn't want to commit to marriage. That doesn't mean that Graham wouldn't do so. I really think that Graham's problem with the whole process is that DeAnna, who he has developed very strong feelings for is dating other men that are around him constantly.

[2observe]

Originally Posted by nessie

I think Graham is wearing a chastity ring. It's that silver ring he wears on his middle finger. I know alot of Christian singles are wearing them. Have any of you noticed the ring?

When some were saying that Graham was gay, I actually thought that he was a virgin, but didn't post about it. So I'm glad I to see your post. ETA that the chastity/virgin issue maybe why Graham leaves at F4.