Graham **SPOILERS**

[Bloomers]

Originally Posted by shoepie

Yes, I am aware of this speculation but I have no clue how someone made the jump from her crying over a note to Graham leaving. It could be from her family or one of the men leaving her a love note, any number of things.

One thing I do know is they hype everything to the hilt. A bachelor leaving of his own accord would dominate the promo's.

While a bachelor leaving on his own would certainly create a major moment of drama, a bachelor leaving at F4 creates an entire storyline, so we will have to see how they want to play and edit it.

Although I am not connected in any way to Graham, this is what I have been able to put together:

(1) There was an emotionally traumatic death in the family that happened prior to the show.
(2) It appears that he might have suggested that he get out of being on the show, but was talked out of it by the casting crew. (pre -filming)
(3) He truly did care, but all of the above was in play. It will be edited to look like he exits in F4 fashion.

What I think:

(1) Because he was still reeling and grieving from the emotional trauma, perhaps Graham was not at a good place emotionally in his life to go through this process. If indeed he did try to get out of it prior to the show, he did so knowing what was best for himself, and the casting crew did not act in his best interests in insisting that he stay on.
(I factually know this happened with another well known earlier contestant.)

(2) From what Graham revealed about himself, this speed-dating process might not be the right personal process for him.
If life were a swimming pool, and people were kids, Graham would not be one of the kids who starts running from 20 feet out and jumps in doing a cannonball. He would be the kid who tests the water and then either eases in or does a neat, safe dive into water that is just deep enough but not too deep.

(3) Whether it is a fair or accurate depiction or not, the editors are going to take the reluctance and hesitation that Graham showed us, and they are going to build that into a storyline so that at F4, we can see a reason why he goes. They are going to do this because they have the tape to do so.

(4) I personally think from what I am reading that Graham probably did care a lot about DeAnna, but maybe he just wasn't in a good emotional place for all of this to start with. You add all of the pressures of the confinement, the competition, and the speed of the process itself to his individual way of dealing with personal relationships, and I think he just maybe was at a place where he couldn't emotionally handle all of it at one time.
Folks, this happens in real life to people all the time when things pile up too fast after a major crisis in life.
Thus, we can see a Graham who needed to leave but yet still seems to be pining after DeAnna - and remember in that artificial setting DeAnna ( God love her) was set up as the coveted prize for all of the men to win. He fell in with that, and his chances as a competitor ( ex basketball champ) got shortened as well.
However, had he continued, he probably realized at the Hometowns that he would be expected to continue this fast-paced relationship with at least the promise to look toward getting engaged somewhere down the line after they had dated a bit. That may have been too much of an overload when his mind was already burdened - regardless of how hard he had already fallen for DeAnna.

[Google]

 

[DaisyofHazard]

I have been wondering where this rumor came from myself. My buddy says there wasn't an emergency. But how could a rumor be this well-known if it didn't have truth in it? From what I can tell it's on all three boards!

Anyway, I just wanted to again clarify that I was only repeating what I read on the other board about DeAnna having the producers give Graham her contact info... for what it's worth I thought the post was "horse hockey". But, I try to stick with the facts. I trust my gut, but I prefer hard evidence:

[nocalgal]

Bloomers
Your theory sounds pretty credible to me. Interested to see how it all plays out. Graham is definitely closed-off - notice how he doesn't engage in all the sh** between Ron and Jeremy.

[anders332]

Originally Posted by goldie2

I don't think anyone knows where this pic is from..but maybe when we get sc from some of the upcoming rose ceremonys or dates we can figure it out better..this one is still a mystery..

I was just pointing out that this is where the rumour/speculation was born from, not that I support it.....it wouldn't surprise me if Graham just decided he wasn't into her and decided to vacate on his own. Maybe something happened during the HTD??

[Bloomers]

Originally Posted by nocalgal

Bloomers
Your theory sounds pretty credible to me. Interested to see how it all plays out. Graham is definitely closed-off - notice how he doesn't engage in all the sh** between Ron and Jeremy.

I certainly don't know exactly what happened, but what I outlined sounds fairly reasonable. It leaves room for Graham to remain caring but still maybe have had some kind of direct or indirect influence in the fact that he does leave, and yet it at the same time gives room for Fleiss to edit a fairly typical F4 rejection as well.

Again, I say that I don't know Graham, and I am basing what I say on what I have been able to pick up and from human obsevations.

I sincerely wish him well getting over all of the grief in his life.

[Lynn7]

Originally Posted by Maidenlady

well it been post on another board that Graham death in family happen before show started so someone must not know the death date was Feb 8th of Graham grandfather and just thought that was reason but turn out Graham left because Dee does not choose to keep him because he does not seem to be in to her or he wants to leave ?nothing to do with his family death after all . just wanted to clear up the emergency rumor not true.

Not necessarily. Taping started, what, six weeks after the death? It is still possible that he left because of a death in the family. For example, maybe he is close to his grandmother, if she's still living, and she just couldn't cope so he went back to provide support and comfort. Or, maybe he is really close to his parents. Maybe the one who lost their parent (his grandfather) couldn't cope with the loss as well as having Graham out of town on the show. In either situation the death in the family still brings him home; maybe not literally but figuratively. Sometimes, when your family is in need, particularly during a time of grief, your family's needs outweigh your own.

It will be very interesting to see how this all plays out. Why the cap of DeAnna with the card; teary eyed (sad tears; not happy)? I do think that he developed a real attraction to DeAnna as the show progressed. Why would he still be pining for her, as I've been told, if he felt no attraction whatsoever and wanted to leave?

[coltinfan]

this is my theory what happen (i could be so wrong)here come
graham who is 29 year old and only 1 serious relationship(wow
and he came on a speed dating show okay)graham also knows
what happen to her during the brad season, he is a slow in
dating kinda guy and he could tell or maybe a strong hunch
that it could come down to him, and he did not want to hurt
deanna like BRAD did. he saw the other bachelors jason, jeremy,
and jessie in the same boat that he was in. so he excuse him
self from the group also he wasnt in a good place in his life
with his grandfather dying and breaking up with the only girl
that he thought about getting married, and as fast pace this
show is about finding a solemate and the first solemate he
had took him twenty nine years to feel confortable being a
husband. but i also think that he did care for her and it was
too fast pace in dating world and not hurting her at the end
he said bye bye
or the other is deanna was so afraid of graham doing the same
thing that brad did to her remember she said she will not make
the same mistake again. gave him the boot. so this time around
she picking someone that will not hurt her.

[DaisyofHazard]

Originally Posted by Lynn7

Not necessarily. Taping started, what, six weeks after the death? It is still possible that he left because of a death in the family. For example, maybe he is close to his grandmother, if she's still living, and she just couldn't cope so he went back to provide support and comfort. Or, maybe he is really close to his parents. Maybe the one who lost their parent (his grandfather) couldn't cope with the loss as well as having Graham out of town on the show. In either situation the death in the family still brings him home; maybe not literally but figuratively. Sometimes, when your family is in need, particularly during a time of grief, your family's needs outweigh your own.

It will be very interesting to see how this all plays out. Why the cap of DeAnna with the card; teary eyed (sad tears; not happy)? I do think that he developed a real attraction to DeAnna as the show progressed. Why would he still be pining for her, as I've been told, if he felt no attraction whatsoever and wanted to leave?

I guess I'm just curious how everyone knows he leaves - and how everyone knows the crying over the note shot is about Graham? Did I miss something on an earlier thread where this was proven?

[goldie2]

Originally Posted by anders332

I was just pointing out that this is where the rumour/speculation was born from, not that I support it.....it wouldn't surprise me if Graham just decided he wasn't into her and decided to vacate on his own. Maybe something happened during the HTD??

I agree with you in that the pic was taken by some to mean something revolving around his exit..I think when we get more caps,we may be able to figure it out better

[anders332]

I wish we knew where this takes place - she appears to be all dolled up, so maybe it's pre-RC?? And F4 RC would take place at the mans....