Graham **SPOILERS**

[dream fan]

Originally Posted by spicydog

Here's my guess re: the card and Graham. He knows he's going home at the next RC, either because he takes himself out or she tells him beforehand. He writes a letter to D and gives it to her after she cuts him at the RC and they say goodbye. He drives away and then she reads the letter. The screencaps we see are of D reading the letter after Graham leaves. After reading it she says the bit about second guessing her decision. To me, this explanation ties everything together.

This explanation makes the most sense to me. My thing is whether or not it's his decision as it's been said on here, and will we get to see it play out if it was his decision.

[Google]

 

[procheervet]

Originally Posted by dream fan

This explanation makes the most sense to me. My thing is whether or not it's his decision as it's been said on here, and will we get to see it play out if it was his decision.

No, we won't. We have been told by a friend of the family that Graham will not disrespect DeAnna by making his choice to leave public, he will attend the RC and just not receive a rose and will act appropriately upset about it.

[kkbaker]

So... he asks her to let him go- but was nice enough to let eveyone believe he got dumped?
Where is this coming from? Anyone reliable or a fan?

[nhromantic]

Originally Posted by minime

I think it's because DeAnna actually is falling into the role of allowing this to play out like a competition. That's what I find most disturbing about this show - the fact that it is paraded around that the one for you is the one that wins the most, tries the hardest, and puts himself out there the most. DeAnna seems like she's going with this too, every time she talks about people not trying. The BBQ thing is the epitome of that. Honestly, if she really had these deep-rooted feelings for Graham, then why would it take the other guys stepping it up more to get her mind off him. That's not how love works. It's almost as if she's no longer listening to her own heart, but just getting caught up in the attention being given to her.

With this season, I have rarely seen DeAnna do a lot of real serious discussions with these men about where they are coming from. There are some conversations, but 80% of it is about her wants, and her needs. Yes, it is her show, but if this is how she feels - and you can add this to the above criticism of her contestant-like drive - she's not ready to get married.

I disagree with you. It IS her show, and it IS a contest. IS she pitting them against each other, no, she is being straightforward about the process, and following the process, the with one exception of NOT LEADING ANYONE ON. She has clearly stated, and demonstrated that if someone is MORE into her than she is them, then she lets them go. She currently has 4 completely different guys to choose from, she has feelings/interest in all of them (don't get the jesse thing, but I don't have to). They appear to all have feelings/interest in her. One by one she needs to eliminate until there is one left. That's the premise of the show.

As to her readiness for marriage - only she can decide that. She states she is, we have to go with that.

Do I think she is there to fall in love - ABSOLUTELY! Will it happen? Can't say, don't know, but hey she's there and she's giving it 100 %. jmo

[coltinfan]

Originally Posted by dream fan

Personally, and I've said this before, I think they are each scared of what they are feeling.

From the things that De has said, she doesn't want to risk that Graham will not pick her in the end.

And Graham does not want to lay it all on the line and not be chosen. These are the issues they both have been finding their way through.

Why does he leave or why does she send him home at the RC? Your guess is as good as mine.

The one answer that I cannot accept to that question is that he isn't falling for her because I've seen the total opposite. JMO

when you say the one answer that i cannot accept to that question is that
he isnt falling for her because i've seen the total opposite
i agree with you on this part(sorry i do not no how to make certain line darker). but that is what he does per his mom he stays with a girl 4 weeks
and cuts and runs. no matter if falls for the girl or not. and that is exactly
what he did to deAnna. which is sad, does anybody have any idea did
something happen to him, like his parents were divorce, that what i
saw in brad that his mom was married 4 times, and i personnally think
that scarred him. that is just mho

[minime]

Originally Posted by nhromantic

I disagree with you. It IS her show, and it IS a contest. IS she pitting them against each other, no, she is being straightforward about the process, and following the process, the with one exception of NOT LEADING ANYONE ON. She has clearly stated, and demonstrated that if someone is MORE into her than she is them, then she lets them go. She currently has 4 completely different guys to choose from, she has feelings/interest in all of them (don't get the jesse thing, but I don't have to). They appear to all have feelings/interest in her. One by one she needs to eliminate until there is one left. That's the premise of the show.

As to her readiness for marriage - only she can decide that. She states she is, we have to go with that.

Do I think she is there to fall in love - ABSOLUTELY! Will it happen? Can't say, don't know, but hey she's there and she's giving it 100 %. jmo

That is fine, as long as we are agreeing that the show itself has nothing to do with reality, and as long as we can say it is 100% for entertainment purposes.

However, this is supposed to be real, and in reality, love just doesn't work that way. It is her show, but what she is trying to find is a PARTNER. That makes it not all about her automatically. And finding a mate is not a contest. Finding a mate is, one, a personal choice and, two, a mutual decision. It's not a 'me, me, me' decision.

Of course, we can go back to the premise that there is nothing real about the show, and I will agree with you. Love is not a competition, though, and finding a partner in marriage is not about 1 single person.

[procheervet]

Originally Posted by dream fan

Maybe they would have found a way, but they couldn't, maybe they didn't make the effort. We really don't know all of the circumstances, even after next week we may still have the same questions.

ITA that if she's hung up on Graham then it would definitely make it hard for her and the F1 to be happy, but I'd like to think she won't pick anyone if her heart isn't in it.

There is no way De can not pick anyone. She just can't. She has to pick someone, whether her heart is in it or not. Too much time and energy was spent criticizing Brad for how he ended his season and how terrible he was for not at least trying it in the real world with one of the girls, DeAnna cannot do the same thing without looking like the ultimate hypocrit. She will make a choice. Whether or not it will last past the FRC is another matter entirely.

[minime]

Originally Posted by procheervet

There is no way De can not pick anyone. She just can't. She has to pick someone, whether her heart is in it or not. Too much time and energy was spent criticizing Brad for how he ended his season and how terrible he was for not at least trying it in the real world with one of the girls, DeAnna cannot do the same thing without looking like the ultimate hypocrit. She will make a choice. Whether or not it will last past the FRC is another matter entirely.

I completely agree with this. DeAnna has already done way too much trash-talking about how she was left to do the same thing. If nothing else, her own pride will make her choose someone.

[procheervet]

Originally Posted by coltinfan

when you say the one answer that i cannot accept to that question is that
he isnt falling for her because i've seen the total opposite
i agree with you on this part(sorry i do not no how to make certain line darker). but that is what he does per his mom he stays with a girl 4 weeks
and cuts and runs. no matter if falls for the girl or not. and that is exactly
what he did to deAnna. which is sad, does anybody have any idea did
something happen to him, like his parents were divorce, that what i
saw in brad that his mom was married 4 times, and i personnally think
that scarred him. that is just mho

I never heard his mom say this part, perhaps that is what your conjecture is, but from the poster who knows him, we have heard that if Graham leaves a relationship, it is because he is NOT falling for the woman and does not want to hurt the woman further by allowing her to believe he is becoming invested in the relationship by prolonging it.

[pajamasam]

She has to pick someone, whether her heart is in it or not.

Luckily for De, she's got some pretty fine choices. In the bubble of the show, I think it's not that difficult to fall for someone (HWSNBN excepted.) She is certainly giving it her all. In real life, she and Graham would no doubt have dated for 4 weeks. Graham seems like a great guy, but I dont think he is ready for a long term relationship. Once he is gone, DeAnna will be able to focus on the others and those relationships (or that singular relationship) will have a chance to develop further.