Graham **SPOILERS**

[JoLena]

Originally Posted by ilovemick

I married the guy that I thought was the best suited for me and i thought with my head. I am happy, but there were never those crazy, intense feelings and maybe we are okay with that because he may feel the same way.
I often wish we had that, and when I do see people with that I am envious.
I do believe in soulmates, I do believe that there may not be just one soulmate out there for you. I don't know why I feel so strongly for these two, because DeAnna was not my favorite on the Bachelor. I guess it is Graham that I am drawn to and their undeniable connection. I have never seen a couple on here with this much potential and not make it to the final 1.
I just hope all are happy. I would love to see a big surprise, like others are wishing for, in the end somehow her being with Graham.

I only see physical connection ,and only on her part. He is NOT into her , she must be a magnet for guys who are similar to Brad ,and her EX ( that cheated). I hope she wises up.

[Google]

 

[emusha]

Romantic love shouldn't hurt from the very, very beginning. Something is wrong. Usually when that happens, the relationship ends.
I am not saying that love doesn't ever hurt - that is an entirely different philosophical discussion, but this is beginning romantic love and it should be happy, breezy, and fun - not hurtful, painful, and depressing.

I think the format and process of this show with the girl dating 25 guys is a very unnatural situation that can make very intense and deep emotions so early on: A huge burden. Especially if the two are not certain about each other's "Feelings" toward each other. I think Graham and De have intense feelings for each other (evident from the magnitude of outbursts and their reactions to each other- the pain on his face, the mood swings she goes through). And since they are communicating very badly... I think we can expect the hurt and pain we see! It is so painful to hear them communicate, i think, because both are uncertain about how the other feels... and does not want to get hurt.

As much as graham is awkward and withdrawing, I agree with whomever said that De is not reassuring Graham enough of her "feelings" toward him. His whole demeanor changed between the "amazing" 1-on-1 where De thought he was "falling for her" and the pool-time and group date - seeing Jeremy around her/her reaction to Jeremy etc.

De is reassuring him that she is fully focused on one person at a time on dates, she is attracted to him, she has to get to know him and the others better etc... But that gives him no reason to believe he is in any way different than the others at this point when it comes to her 'feelings'. He might be afraid he is falling for her faster than she is falling for him, he may even suspect that it is a physical attraction for her given the chemistry they have because she doesn't tell him about her 'feelings' yet (I see him rejecting her kiss because of this suspicion).

Did anyone else notice how his face lit up and he started laughing when De said "There is an undeniable connection between us, but I cannot marry someone I don't know"? I suspect that he felt assured that she also had strong feelings for him as he does for her, but that she just needed time to get to know him. Immediately, he responded with a bright smile "I can compromise on that" and started laughing and teasing her. Then he squeezed her arm when they got up after the kiss. I think he feels very vulnerable and scared of his feelings with her and he is fighting not to get hurt. Even that kiss and the supposed 'awkwardness' showed his vulnerability/uncertainty.

I think the situation creates a very strange scenario, especially if one of the parties is not very experienced with relationships and doesn't know how to communicate that they need reassurance about her feelings about him for him to freely dive into the strong emotions he has! I think he feels himself falling hard for her and he is worried that she might not be falling as hard because she has other guys she "has feelings for". JMO

[Bambie]

Originally Posted by bachlorfan

I only see physical connection ,and only on her part. He is NOT into her , she must be a magnet for guys who are similar to Brad ,and her EX ( that cheated). I hope she wises up.

Yes. I think you said it all. She appears to have fallen into a pattern and those can be hard to break.

[xseannax]

Originally Posted by bachlorfan

This line caught my eye. Could you elaborate?

his not being sure of who he is: I think he is still unsure if he is ready to settle down, reading his body language. He agreed to come onto the show because he thought he was ready, but even with his 1 on 1 he sent mixed signals to DeAnna and his body launguage in general is very closed off to her. By his own admission he has had 1 serious relationship. When many in college were partying, dating, and playing around he was concentrating on basketball. He is getting his charity up and running, and I don't doubt that he is a nice guy, I just don't think this is the time or the place for him. Obviously something is up if he has a hand in his own departure.

his feelings: This format forces you to do things you normally wouldn't do. ALL the guys are jealous. ALL the guys have their heart ripped out when they see her going out with someone else. ALL the guys have to deal with the fact that she could kiss them, and then turn around and kiss someone else. DeAnna went through this herself so she knows how it feels. It is not just Graham that has these feelings, but during the SQT he made it seem like he was the only one that was going through this. And as Jason observed Graham is being held to a different standard than the other guys, maybe simply because of her undeniable attraction to him. I wish that Graham could have gotten over this so DeAnna could have had a clearer picture.

[Bet2Win]

Originally Posted by sclilred1

I like what you said in your post! It just reminds me again that what we are being shown is a real relationship between DeAnna and Graham. The kind of relationship where you talk about the issues, try to move past them and see where that relationship will lead. Unfortunately I am seeing this more on Graham's part than I am from DeAnna. There were times last night when I truly felt that Graham should just look at DeAnna and say "You know what, this is me, how I truly am and you either like me for me or you don't. I am not going to change for you and I would not ask or expect you to change for me. This is real and if you can't accept that I am having problems with the whole process and with you kissing, hugging, groping other men then it is time for me to leave." If Graham does in fact leave on his own (for whatever reason) then I think that it is the best decision for HIM. Contrary to what some have said this is not all about DeAnna. DeAnna should know this as she "had her heart broken by Brad not once but twice" and should be willing to give the guys more leeway instead of screaming at them because they don't jump when she wants them to.
All of the above is simply my own opinion of course.

ITA ... she keeps saying she knows what they are going through because she's been through it ... yet, they should just buck up or go home.

[sclilred1]

Originally Posted by Bet2Win

ITA ... she keeps saying she knows what they are going through because she's been through it ... yet, they should just buck up or go home.

Honestly at this point and based on the way that DeAnna has been behaving as of late, I vote for the go home option for all of the guys. Heck, I am sure we all have some lovely, single female friends that would love a chance to date any of the remaining men.

[pbmax]

Originally Posted by Bet2Win

ITA ... she keeps saying she knows what they are going through because she's been through it ... yet, they should just buck up or go home.

Yes she's been through this, but she's the one passing out the roses this time, not the guys. They have to hope they get a rose...not quiet the same this time around.

[simplechef]

I think Deanna may have had a PMS moment, and grace is a good thing to extend to her. I can't imagine how stressful it is to have to make such hard decisions. Deanna likes being in the drivers seat, and by not being in that position, I think she felt pretty insecure and odd to be at a BBQ instigated by the guys. When the tables were turned for the pool party, she had a great time. I think having a curve ball thrown at her in the midst of a stressful situation, sent her over the edge, thus her rant at the guys.

[SweetElvira]

I think Graham should start acting like a man and either go along with the program as he agreed to or go home. Preferably the latter.

[cupcakes]

Originally Posted by Phyllie

I read this on Brian's website, and it made me think that there is a WHOLE lot more to Graham than the show is letting us see...(It's a caption under a picture of Brian's wrist wearing two bands, one with 4sicks.com on it.)

I wear these bands to remind me that I can choose to take pride in forging ahead during the tough moments. Graham gave me the blue one during the show and it reminds me of this day:

Saturday afternoon I wrote a 5 round workout using Graham's playing cards to randomly order the number of reps per set with 5 cards per round. During the first round Jeremy stopped, during the 3rd Shawn had enough but in the 5th Grahamn and I were still going, almost unable to use our arms. He looked up, barely able to utter a word and said: "It is in these moments where we seperate ourselves from the old and forge a new identity. We can choose to become better, stronger, healthier. We can push through the tough time and come out a different person on the other side. Right now we have a choice to either stay the same or to grow both physically and emotionally." Needless to say our 5th round was better than the first...

Thanks for sharing this Phyllie. Looks like these two formed a tight friendship