Graham **SPOILERS**

[anders332]

Originally Posted by procheervet

There is post somewhere about the meaning of the rings. It dates back to high school, but it is not what you think it is. Something to do with soccer/basketball championships.

From a post earlier in this thread

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Quote:
Originally Posted by anders332
I wonder if anyone knows the significance of the bands he wears on the thumb and middle finger of his right hand???


yea, I know what they mean. Too make a long story short, I always played soccer and he always played basketball. In HS, they played in the state championship bball game his soph year and lost. During our senior year, we won the states in soccer and graham was reminded everyday, from me of course, by the ring that i got and the one that he was so close to.

he wears those rings as a reminder, 1. always be your best 2. never forget your trials and failures. He is one of the more self motivated people i have ever met.

[Google]

 

[drparoo]

Originally Posted by procheervet

A relationship without it is always going to be lacking something. That's why we work so hard to find the perfect mate and it is so difficult. It's one in a million when you have that chemistry, and then even harder to find the emotional compatibility with a person with whom you have the chemistry, if you can find both, you have won life's little jackpot.You should always explore the relationship that begins with the chemistry because if it isn't there, it isn't there.

Sure, but it's entirely possible that she realizes that they don't have emotional compatibility when he leaves. I mean, everybody has their deal-breakers and emotional baggage that they bring. They have their lists of qualities that they require in a mate. And she might decide that if Graham can't pull it together enough, then it might mean that he doesn't think she's worth it to get it together. We still don't know exactly when, why and if he leaves. If he decides that he has to leave because the situation is too much for him, it might be enough of a deal breaker in case he can't stand by her in other situations that are difficult. And if there is a personal emergency and he had to leave, I truly think that TPTB would have suspended things long enough for him to deal with it if Graham insisted that he wanted to stay in the running.

Of course, this is all speculation.....but if we're talking about her chemistry with Graham, we also have to talk about what makes someone walk away from that. Heaven knows I've walked away from a sexually charged relationship. When you're only happy with someone if you're in bed with them, something is terribly wrong.

[2observe]

Originally Posted by ilovemick

My first thought is "there is no way he is a virgin"? Just because he is just so smoking hot, and he is a very physical kind of guy - Holding hands, hugging, rubbing hands, touching elbows/arms in the RV on the way to the racetrack (too sexy). But that does not mean that he is not waiting for marriage to make love.

The fact that he's hot doesn't mean that he's not a virgin. My guess is that relationships with him end before it gets to that point. The FDs would really cause a problem for Graham if he has fallen for DeAnna and is trying to hold out for marriage, imo. There's no doubt in my mind that DeAnna would make it extremely difficult for Graham...whew. jmo That could be the reason Graham leaves at F4.

[MissMilano]

Originally Posted by drparoo

Sure, but it's entirely possible that she realizes that they don't have emotional compatibility when he leaves. I mean, everybody has their deal-breakers and emotional baggage that they bring. They have their lists of qualities that they require in a mate. And she might decide that if Graham can't pull it together enough, then it might mean that he doesn't think she's worth it to get it together. We still don't know exactly when, why and if he leaves. If he decides that he has to leave because the situation is too much for him, it might be enough of a deal breaker in case he can't stand by her in other situations that are difficult. And if there is a personal emergency and he had to leave, I truly think that TPTB would have suspended things long enough for him to deal with it if Graham insisted that he wanted to stay in the running.

Of course, this is all speculation.....but if we're talking about her chemistry with Graham, we also have to talk about what makes someone walk away from that. Heaven knows I've walked away from a sexually charged relationship. When you're only happy with someone if you're in bed with them, something is terribly wrong.

drparoo -ITA with the bolded part, especially if that is all there is to the relationship. Honestly, sexual chemistry is important in a relationship, but if/when that cools a bit and there is no deep emotional attachament or good communication, then what are you left with? JMHO, but I think Dee realizes this and I can also see enough of a spark with Jason (and Jeremy, but I think they are too much a like for it to work) and, I think that Dee and Jason have a much better level of communication and understanding that might work better in real life. I think even if Graham ended up as F!, it would last long once the show was over. Once Dee "solved the mystery" of GRaham and scratched her itch, so to speak, I think it would end and that is not was she is looking for - she is looking for a husband.

[CAdreamin]

I don't think that Jason is trying to emulate Graham's scruffy look and backwards baseball cap in an attempt to win favor with De. Most guys enjoy occasionally sporting a more casual look and that's probably all it is. Besides, he doesn't need to work hard or be conniving to win De's heart. He's got it in the bag!

[appiah01]

Originally Posted by Katydyd

Ok, I may be waaaay off base, but I have a totally different impression of Graham. I think he's probably a bit of a "playah" in real life. Yes, I know this is totally stereotypical, but...Good looking (to put it mildly ), jock, issues with intimacy- emotional intimacy, I have no doubt he has no trouble with physical intimacy . I think he's playing De, and it's working. The farther back he stays, the harder she tries to get him closer. I think he's having trouble gettinmg emotionally invested because he's not used to it, and there's probably a reason for that. To me, he seems like he's playing this thing strategically, like a game

I completely agree. I feel like Graham knows what he's working with so to speak and the reason he hasn't settled down has little to do with lack of opportunity and more to do with lack of maturity. He's not stupid. He knows Deanna is feeling him the most. If it's obvious to the other guys and they don't even see 1 on 1 time, then it is obvious to him. He just isn't into it. How hard is it to open up to a woman who hangs on your every word and who grasps on to the tiniest bit of encouragement from you??

Deanna said on their first date that she thought that he may just want to be in a relationship as opposed to wanting to be in a relationship with her. I think her first read was accurate but she wants him so much that she has ignored all of the warnings. I think she simply realizes that she shouldn't have to chase a guy to make him care enough about her to open up and that there isn't enough time to wait for Graham to develop relationship communication skills. She wants to get married and there is no telling when Graham would be ready and why wait on that possibility when there are other great guys who she is attracted to and who are more mature.

[SweetElvira]

Originally Posted by MissMilano

Honestly, sexual chemistry is important in a relationship, but if/when that cools a bit and there is no deep emotional attachament or good communication, then what are you left with? JMHO, but I think Dee realizes this and I can also see enough of a spark with Jason (and Jeremy, but I think they are too much a like for it to work) and, I think that Dee and Jason have a much better level of communication and understanding that might work better in real life. I think even if Graham ended up as F!, it would last long once the show was over. Once Dee "solved the mystery" of GRaham and scratched her itch, so to speak, I think it would end and that is not was she is looking for - she is looking for a husband.

I said earlier that Dee is frustrated in that she can't seem to build on the sexual attraction she feels toward Graham. Alone, sexual attraction is simply not enough. And she's learning that there is nothing else with him.

I wonder how the scene might have gone had Dee returned to Graham instead of Jason after the 2-on-1. I suspect Graham would have turned the conversation around to himself. Again. As he always does.

He'll be a good husband to somebody someday, but it won't be any time soon because he's too self-absorbed right now. Just. Not. Ready.

[procheervet]

Originally Posted by CAdreamin

I don't think that Jason is trying to emulate Graham's scruffy look and backwards baseball cap in an attempt to win favor with De. Most guys enjoy occasionally sporting a more casual look and that's probably all it is. Besides, he doesn't need to work hard or be conniving to win De's heart. He's got it in the bag!

Jason may have her analytical side, her "head", but he doesn't have her heart the way the Graham does.

[procheervet]

Originally Posted by SweetElvira

I said earlier that Dee is frustrated in that she can't seem to build on the sexual attraction she feels toward Graham. Alone, sexual attraction is simply not enough. And she's learning that there is nothing else with him.

I wonder how the scene might have gone had Dee returned to Graham instead of Jason after the 2-on-1. I suspect Graham would have turned the conversation around to himself. Again. As he always does.

He'll be a good husband to somebody someday, but it won't be any time soon because he's too self-absorbed right now. Just. Not. Ready.

I don't know about you, but when I saw Graham after the men realized both Fred and Robert had been sent home, his immediate reaction was that he wanted to go and be with her, to comfort her, and realizing that he couldn't was extremely frustrated and he must have felt so powerless. He only turns the conversation to himself because Deanna asks him to, to open up, to talk about how he feels. No, he does not strike me as a "playah" at all and the friends that have known him since high school who post here say he is a great guy, very caring, very kind, and not at all a "playah".

[babysmurf0583]

Originally Posted by jenna14

Ok I have been trying to find it in the 89 pages of posts but I can't seem to find out how you all know that Graham decides to go home before the F3? Did you hear it somewhere? Thanks!!!

I'm in the same boat. Where is it? I've only read vague references.