Welcome back, Bachelorette fans, to another episode following Ali’s search for love. We’ve lost enough critical mass in suitors that the show now has the budget to take the group on the road. We may have seen the last of the fabulous LA mansion for this season, as they promise we’re starting a trip around the world. They head out to New York City, where Ali goes to the some fancy hotel that paid big money for a product placement where Ali will get a makeover and New York fashion wardrobe.
The 11 remaining guys have some cool travel videos of their group heading to the airport and flying to New York. Interspersed between these shots we see Ali talking to her makeover hair, nails and makeup folks, telling them about the guys. I know we’re getting the condensed version, but I thought it was interesting which guys she mentions and what she says about them. The guys on the tip of her tongue are Kirk (who is so amazing), Roberto (I’m smitten), Chris L. (a really fun guy), Frank (the funniest guy), and Kasey (who is going to guard and protect my heart). She says that she thinks that the guy she is going to end up with is in her group.
The guys arrive and head to their 35th floor suite while Ali shoots photos for the July issue of In Style magazine. Ali confesses to being a t-shirt and jeans girl, which makes me like her more as that is certainly my style of choice. I’m not sure how many days they’re planning to film there, but she’s got clothes for a couple weeks sitting on the rack. Some of her outfits are pretty cute on her. Some look like efforts from Project Runway candidates who gave up mid-challenge.
A Night At the Museum with The Mumbler
Our mumbling friend Kasey is picked for the first OOO (One-On-One) date this episode. Ali picks up Kasey and takes him for a helicopter ride over the city. The producers are really testing Ali’s newfound ability to tolerate air travel, and it does look like a cool ride. However Ali doesn’t seem to be as into Kasey as she has been in other dates including air travel this season.
Meanwhile we get Chris L’s take on Kasey’s image of Ali. Chris L has some interesting imagery involving hearts, flowers, cupid, and unicorns running amuck. Chris L thinks that Ali is more of a realist than a hearts and flowers romantic, and based on her choice to return to a job rather than compete with the likes of Vienna for Jake last season, he might be onto something. I hope so anyway, because if she keeps this mumbling, singing fool around for much longer, she’ll slide down on my ladder of esteem.
As if he’s listening to my recap while I’m watching, Kasey breaks out into song. Not just any song: it’s something rather lame that he’s making up on the spot. Have some pride, man. Ali and Kasey head to the American Museum of Natural History after hours and have the place to themselves. Ali mentions that Kasey is a little cheesy and that he’s singing (see, it didn’t impress her either – way to go, Ali). They start running through the museum with flashlights and I half expect to see Ben Stiller come around the corner, trying to corral Buffalo Bill and a dinosaur back into their spots.
Back at the guy’s suite, a date card arrives for the group date. The seven guys on the date card are: Roberto, Jesse, Craig, Kirk, Jonathan, Ty, and Frank. Thank you again to the producers for the lovely clear shot of the date card to spare us recappers trying to capture those names. Justin was moping that he wasn’t on the date card, and Frank mocks him (not to his face, though, as Frank is a weasel like that) and tells him to go home.
Back at the date, Kasey reverts to his singing, this time begging for a rose, goes on and on about how he’s going to guard and protect her heart. Ali thinks that Kasey is giving her lines instead of his honest self, and isn’t impressed with his lame singing. But she doesn’t have the heart to cut him loose right there, so he gets to stick around even though he isn’t safe from elimination this week. He’s confused, as for multiple seasons now, the OOO dates early in the season have been “get a rose or go home.” Ali doesn’t give him a rose, but tells him she wants him to stick around. I guess we haven’t heard enough of “I’ll guard and protect your heart” for one season. Hey, that’s so catchy, if only we had a way to remember it.
Strangest Group Date Ever – Six Guys Watch One Dude on a Date With Ali
The guys wander to Time Square, where Ali appears on a video screen with clues scrolling below her indicating she’s in the concrete jungle. What does that mean? Why of course, she’s hanging out at the theatre for The Lion King, so the 7 guys join her there. Kirk from Green Bay has never been to a theatre production before and is taking it all in. They meet the Tony winning producer and the choreographer to see which of the 7 guys gets to be on stage for that night’s production and spend private time with Ali.
First the guys need to show off their dance skills after a lesson from the show’s choreographer. We get some funny shots of the guys in biker shorts shaking their grove things. Roberto seems to get the best marks from the producer for his dance skills. Here’s a prediction: If Roberto comes in second, he’ll get an invite to be on the next season of Dancing With the Stars.
Next we see the guys attempt to sing “Can You Feel The Love Tonight” and Jesse did the best job with the singing. Unfortunately for Jesse, American Idol isn’t on the same network, so the producers have no pull in getting him on the show. Roberto was a little more pitchy, but made the wise choice of turning his attention while singing to Ali instead of the producer. Much to the chagrin of the rest of the guys, Roberto gets picked to have the date and appear on stage with Ali in that night’s show. I’m guessing they won’t have him singing a solo (unless it’s “so low” that the audience can’t hear it), but he will be dancing and had the best dance moves.
In a cruel move, the rest of the guys have to sit and watch as Roberto and Ali rehearse some flying dance wearing harnesses and some strange costumes that seem to be made of crepe paper. Weatherman Jonathan feels like his forecast for a sunny day was taken over by the $*!# storm of having to Ali spending time with Roberto. Oh Jonathan, with a forecast like that, are you trying to get cast in the American production of the Trailer Park Boys. Frank re-iterates that he’s being stabbed with jealousy, while Jonathan is now forecasting beehives of knives stabbing him in the face. What a fun date for those 6 other guys, but Roberto and Ali seem happy about it.
After the play, the guys and Ali head to an after show reception with drinks. The seven guys are all vying for Ali’s attention. Meanwhile Ali is not feeling well and she’s indicating she might be fading fast. Frank grabs some OOO time with Ali out in the rain (and wind – which flips her umbrella inside out). Frank tries to feel her out about how she’s feeling about him, and then she gives him her cold or flu germs in a nice kiss.
Back at the guy’s loft there are three guys waiting to see who gets the last OOO date: Justin, Chris L and Chris M (or is it N – I can’t remember, and frankly, does this guy ever get any airtime. At some point he’ll disappear and we’ll never know). Chris L gets the call for the date, and apparently it’s also his birthday tomorrow. Chris L is stoked. Justin is miffed. Chris M is invisible. Kasey is still trying to figure out why he’s still there after leaving a OOO date without a rose. So am I. Why is he still there?
Back on the group date, attorney Craig is talking to Ali inside (not taking a sick lady out in the rain – take note, Frank), but taking a chance that others would interrupt. Jonathan attempts to interrupt, but Craig asks him for “a couple more minutes” and Jonathan stalks away. Jonathan then realizes that it didn’t come off as a cool move, and realizes that he blew it. Meanwhile Kirk the Wisconsin boy pulls her aside, asks her how she is feeling, and recommends that she go upstairs and go to bed to get some rest and feel better. He puts in a pitch to be the one to tuck her into bed, somewhat jokingly I think, but still very sweet. Kirk’s approach strikes a chord with Ali, who wants to take him up on his offer.
Ali returns to the group to announce that she is not giving out a rose tonight, as she isn’t able to devote the energy it would take to spend time with all of the guys on the date. She excuses herself to head to bed, and then announces that Kirk is going to walk her to her room. Kirk gets to see Ali’s fluffy purple bedspread and proclaims it nicer than the guys’ suite. She asks him to sing her a lullaby, but Kirk wisely declines the offer to sing poorly twice in one date. Kirk gives her a kiss and a hug, tucks her in, and then lets her get her rest and doesn’t overstay his welcome. Take note future contestants – you can actually earn points by leaving someone’s room by choice.
The rest of the guys were plenty jealous of Kirk’s smooth move and wondering if they could have maneuvered that if they’d thought of it. You hear a collective “D’oh” from the group as they finish off the free booze and food.
Come Spend Your Birthday Being Exposed To Germs
Ali wakes up and is feeling quite ill, and sends Chris L a note cancelling their date of walking around New York City, but asking him to come to her hotel suite instead. Chris shows up with soup and flowers. Chris talks about his 5 years in New York, and that he left to spend time with his mom after she got sick. They talk about how close Chris L is with his family and Ali remarks that she would like to marry in to a family as close as Chris L’s family.
Back at the guy’s suite, the rest of the guys are wondering where Kasey went, as he disappeared for hours on end. Obviously the producers are in on it, so we see him heading towards a tattoo and piercing salon. This year the first eliminated contestant from Hell’s Kitchen had tattooed the show’s logo on his stomach before appearing on the show. I’m guessing Kasey’s impulsive decision will yield similar results – or I hope so anyway, as that would freak me out if someone I’m not even exclusively dating is getting a tattoo. Mr LG (who has a tattoo and wants to get more) thinks that Kasey’s decision is stupid and not a good move.
Ty and Craig are wondering if Kasey is out doing something stupid that he’ll regret. As if he wasn’t one-note enough just saying his “guard and protect your heart” line, he gets that permanently inked on his forearm with some tattoo that has a shield, a heart, and a rose. There’s probably cupid and some unicorns too (just like Chris L’s prediction), but we didn’t get that close of a shot of it.
Back on his date, Chris L gives Ali some magical chicken noodle soup, and she rallies and wants to head out of the hotel to have some time with Chris on his birthday. They go out for dinner, and for some reason Ali gives Chris a cell phone to call his dad (for his birthday, apparently). Chris talks to his dad and gives him the update, where his dad tells Ali he looks forward to meeting her someday. Ali’s feeling the love – but will she give Chris the rose? Of course she does. Chris is the only one to get a rose all episode so far.
Then Chris and Ali head up to the roof and enjoy a song from some singer named Joshua Radin, whom I’ve never heard before, but he’s got a full choir backing him up and sounds pretty good. Chris and Ali dance and kiss, and Chris is pumped about the date, wishing that he didn’t have to share her with the other guys.
Kasey returns to the guys’ suite and cooks up some lie about burning his arm and spending the day in the ER. The producers are big fans of the reverse angle shots, as Kirk is wearing a Wisconsin Badgers shirt that the wording is backwards – how odd. Justin calls BS on Kasey’s story about the burn and the ER, and declares Kasey “a fibber.” Pretty rich for a guy who snuck away from the rest of the guys in the prior episode and walked up to Ali’s place on crutches, looked for extra time and attention from her.
Cocktail Party with Champagne For the Guys, and Cranberry Juice for Ali
Kirk grabs the first chance for OOO time at the cocktail party. She thanks him for looking out for her, and they check to make sure they still have kissing chemistry – yup, still got it. I don’t think he’s going to be at the finale, but I’ve got a soft spot for my fellow Wisconsin native.
Jonathan swoops in for his big chance, and whips out a guitar and gives her more bad singing. Ok, I’ll admit, I’ve never been attracted to singers. Even though I was a band geek, I never found guys singing to be attractive. Talented sometimes, sure, but hot? No way. Not so much. I know, I’m not typical. Many women like being serenaded, but honestly, I find it embarrassing for all involved. I’m not sure if Ali is the same, but I have a feeling that singing cheater Wes would not have made it as far as he did this season.
Kasey waits for his chance to talk to Ali. You can tell that wants to make his big tattoo reveal to Ali because they keep showing his unbuttoned shirt sleeve. But before he gets to mumble out his build up, Justin calls him out and questions why he is lying to everyone in the house. Kasey shows the guys the tattoo, and the rest of the guys all think he’s nuts. The only nice thing anyone can come up with to say to him is Franks comment that he’s really wearing his heart on his sleeve. Kasey thinks that means the guys think his tattoo was a great idea, and he was poised for his big reveal. He has alone time with Ali, and doesn’t get around to showing her his new ink. Frank weasles in (from his parents’ basement) and came in and stole Kasey’s thunder, so Kasey chickened out. Smooth move – now everyone on the show knows about tattoo except for Ali.
Will You Accept This Rose? And Would You Care For Some Tamiflu?
It’s been an interesting episode, and I’m surprised to see how many people Ali kissed after she realizes that she was sick. Let’s see, there was Frank, who very sensitively took her out in the rain, and Kirk, who tucked her into bed, and Chris L., who got to spend a whole day hanging out in her room. We’ll see which guys are coming down with “Bachelorette Fever” in our next episode, as that will be the test. I’m guessing it won’t be Jonathan.
Time for the roses:
Chris L already got a rose on the final date.
The tension builds as Jesse, Jonathan, and Kasey are waiting to see who gets the final rose.
And the final rose goes to Kasey, who now needs to go get his tattoo adjusted to reflect his new final 9 status. Kasey had explained that there were 11 diamonds reflecting the 11 guys on the show at that point. This is why people don’t usually get a tattoo of the score while the game is still happening, Kasey. Poor guy, he seems like a rather dim bulb. I’m surprised that Ali is keeping him around, frankly.
Jesse thanks her for the experience, realizes that they weren’t compatible because she’s a city girl and he loves country living (and wearing jeans when everyone else is in a suit). Jonathan doesn’t take it as well as Jesse, wonders why oh why didn’t she pick him, as he was just as good as the taller guys who aren’t such dorks. If only that were true, weather dork. I think Jonathan’s fate was sealed when Ali saw that he adored musical theatre more than she did.
Tune in next week where Ali and the Final Nine go to Iceland. My partner in recapping PhoneGrrrrl will guide us to finding out who will get left out in the cold.