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Thread: Chris L - no spoilers

  1. #671
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    Re: Chris L - no spoilers

    I just watched the Soup on E and Joel McHale showed the clip of AFRC when CL asked ALi about what she learned from their relationship. Joel was joking about ALi's answer and how it didn't make sense or give CL any closure.

  2. #672
    FORT Fanatic latergator's Avatar
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    Re: Chris L - no spoilers

    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Benny Fan;4030380;
    Here try this for size... all in good fun and subject to corrections by fellow analyzers. Also, since Ali couldn't give Chris L. a straight answer regarding what she gained from their relationship... consider this what I the viewer gained from watching their relationship on TV and, once again, picking the WRONG final one this season.

    Top 15 signs that you are NOT the final one

    1.) There is less footage of you in the upcoming previews than anybody else. Why? No clue, but Fleiss & Co. love doing it this way. Maybe they don't want the masses thinking too much of you in upcoming episodes... that is, your "future" will be so sad, sad, sad. (This is why Reid and Chris were buried in the previews.)

    2.) On the other hand, there is more footage of you on the actual show than practically anybody else. This means the producers LOVE you enough to want to "recycle" later.

    3.) Saying you are in love is a Big No-No. The actual Final One only says it in cheesy post-Fantasy Suite videos or in the final rose ceremony... not before. This is especially true with the Bachelorette. Women not named Trista ONLY chase after men who run from them or are a "mystery" to them. They don't go for those who are gooey eyed for them. Oh... and if you can say you can't live without The Star, that makes you even more of a glutton for torture. Better yet, use the word "vulnerable". In that way, the cameras will get real close to you when suffering your heartbreak. Tenley's tears were presented in High Definition.

    4.) You frequently get called for the first rose. This is a sign that The Star is stringing you along.

    5.) Everybody likes you... both viewers and those who compete with you. A standing ovation at MTA or WTA helps. Nobody likes the Final One unless his name is Ryan Sutter, and even Charlie griped a bit about him when he "glowed" after Sea World. Also no "dirty laundry" in the tabloids pretty much confirms that the producers plan to utilize your services for another season or Bachelor Pad.

    6.) The Star says you would make an Amazing Husband or Wife and can see themselves marrying you. This basically means that you will and the Final One won't. Not that it matters, since The Star will break up with their chosen a few weeks after show anyway. This show is not supposed to have a marriage unless The Star does a switcheroo post-show.

    7.) They use Trista/Ryan's proposal music for you or any other "final one theme". This is strictly a come-on to trick viewers and sleuthers. Jason got a ton of it with Deanna.

    8.) No-no words from The Star: "slow", "too late", "friend", "buddy", "perfect", "a gentleman", "can't find flaw", "instant perma-grin", you make them "laugh", you make them feel "emotional", "everything happens for a reason" (huh-oh) and, on your dates, "it is just the two of us" (always a fib).

    9.) The Star gives you passionate kisses, sometimes open mouthed. (Deanna kissed Jeremy like a fudge-cycle.) The Final One only gets them when the cameras are NOT rolling. Also The Star hugs you more than the others... often first in group dates.

    10.) You are "concerned" about The Star dating other people. The Final One could care less... they might just "even the score" post-show instead.

    11.) You get the biggest Fantasy Suite. The producers ended the myth about Final One getting "the biggest" ages ago. Ed practically got Motel 6 his season. In any case, they want you to enjoy yourself before you get dumped. The Star may even allow you to close the suite door.

    12.) Also, it makes it so much easier for viewers to recognize you as a Final Two Dumpee if you acknowledge Mr. Harrison before going to the Suite. Sometimes Final Three also thanks Mr. Harrison, but Final Two must ALWAYS remember to or The Star will correct your manners.
    Jason to Deanna: "Is he around here? Hope not."
    Kiptyn forgot to with Jillian (but she mentions him), but that's OK... we knew he was F2 all along.
    Gia thanks Mr. Harrison, but Tenley doesn't. Nonetheless, Jake makes a point to remind Tenley that the card is "from Mr. Harrison". At least Tenley doesn't interrupt him.
    Chris to Ali: "Will he jump up in scuba gear and scare me?
    ... it also helps if either you are totally "coy" like Kiptyn and Tenley or the opposite: Jason flung The Card in the air and Chris sang "fantasy suiiiiiiiite".

    13.) Also, it makes it so much easier for viewers to recognize you as a Final Three Dumpee (or dumper, as in Frank) if The Star acts hotter with you than the others.
    Deanna couldn't wait to get Jeremy into the sack and he practically slammed the door on the camera crew.
    Favorite line from Jason's Jillian: ''I knew if we were to spend the night together, it'd be a long night. I just wanted to make sure he could handle that, handle all of this fire."
    In turn, when she called the shots, Kiptyn kept his clothes on, Ed suffered a "misfire" prompting the lights to turn on again and "Honey Bear" got a bubble bath.
    Favorite Jake line: "Swinging on the hammock with Gia. It's like our bodies FIT together." Gia: "I'm ready to go All The Way." Again... bubble bath time.
    Never-mind that nothing happened between Ali and Frankie: she was "head over heels" for him. She already dubbed him a "lover" back in Istanbul and had every intention of "adding to history" in Tahiti.

    14.) No tightrope or bungee jump, no final rose for you. Molly had to wait for New Zealand for hers... and had to wait until after the show to be Jason's Final One.

    15.) Most importantly, don't come onto this show after a sad divorce (Jason, Tenley), a lost parent(s) (Deanna herself, Jeremy, Chris), have "trouble opening up" (practically all rejects) or being the heartbreaker and not the heartbreakee (Kiptyn). You are destined to be dumped.

    Also remember that this show is not about romance... which is why Final One always get less attention on screen than you. This show is all about tragedy and drama! drama! drama! Oh... and if you gouge your eyes out like Oedipus Rex, they will give you even more screen time.
    Great list here JBF... I can think of a few more, but just don't have the energy to write them down now.

    I will print the final draft out for future reference when someone writes and says... well the edit says.... haha.
    yep, sure it does.... NOT

  3. #673
    FORT Fanatic latergator's Avatar
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    Re: Chris L - no spoilers

    Quote Originally Posted by chicagoowl;4030394;
    I just watched the Soup on E and Joel McHale showed the clip of AFRC when CL asked ALi about what she learned from their relationship. Joel was joking about ALi's answer and how it didn't make sense or give CL any closure.
    Oh lord... you know it's bad when Joel McHale even sees it! :nono

  4. #674
    Love is the only reality Agentcurls's Avatar
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    Re: Chris L - no spoilers

    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Benny Fan;4030380;
    Here try this for size... all in good fun and subject to corrections by fellow analyzers. Also, since Ali couldn't give Chris L. a straight answer regarding what she gained from their relationship... consider this what I the viewer gained from watching their relationship on TV and, once again, picking the WRONG final one this season.

    Top 15 signs that you are NOT the final one

    1.) There is less footage of you in the upcoming previews than anybody else. Why? No clue, but Fleiss & Co. love doing it this way. Maybe they don't want the masses thinking too much of you in upcoming episodes... that is, your "future" will be so sad, sad, sad. (This is why Reid and Chris were buried in the previews.)

    2.) On the other hand, there is more footage of you on the actual show than practically anybody else. This means the producers LOVE you enough to want to "recycle" later.

    3.) Saying you are in love is a Big No-No. The actual Final One only says it in cheesy post-Fantasy Suite videos or in the final rose ceremony... not before. This is especially true with the Bachelorette. Women not named Trista ONLY chase after men who run from them or are a "mystery" to them. They don't go for those who are gooey eyed for them. Oh... and if you can say you can't live without The Star, that makes you even more of a glutton for torture. Better yet, use the word "vulnerable". In that way, the cameras will get real close to you when suffering your heartbreak. Tenley's tears were presented in High Definition.

    4.) You frequently get called for the first rose. This is a sign that The Star is stringing you along.

    5.) Everybody likes you... both viewers and those who compete with you. A standing ovation at MTA or WTA helps. Nobody likes the Final One unless his name is Ryan Sutter, and even Charlie griped a bit about him when he "glowed" after Sea World. Also no "dirty laundry" in the tabloids pretty much confirms that the producers plan to utilize your services for another season or Bachelor Pad.

    6.) The Star says you would make an Amazing Husband or Wife and can see themselves marrying you. This basically means that you will and the Final One won't. Not that it matters, since The Star will break up with their chosen a few weeks after show anyway. This show is not supposed to have a marriage unless The Star does a switcheroo post-show.

    7.) They use Trista/Ryan's proposal music for you or any other "final one theme". This is strictly a come-on to trick viewers and sleuthers. Jason got a ton of it with Deanna.

    8.) No-no words from The Star: "slow", "too late", "friend", "buddy", "perfect", "a gentleman", "can't find flaw", "instant perma-grin", you make them "laugh", you make them feel "emotional", "everything happens for a reason" (huh-oh) and, on your dates, "it is just the two of us" (always a fib).

    9.) The Star gives you passionate kisses, sometimes open mouthed. (Deanna kissed Jeremy like a fudge-cycle.) The Final One only gets them when the cameras are NOT rolling. Also The Star hugs you more than the others... often first in group dates.

    10.) You are "concerned" about The Star dating other people. The Final One could care less... they might just "even the score" post-show instead.

    11.) You get the biggest Fantasy Suite. The producers ended the myth about Final One getting "the biggest" ages ago. Ed practically got Motel 6 his season. In any case, they want you to enjoy yourself before you get dumped. The Star may even allow you to close the suite door.

    12.) Also, it makes it so much easier for viewers to recognize you as a Final Two Dumpee if you acknowledge Mr. Harrison before going to the Suite. Sometimes Final Three also thanks Mr. Harrison, but Final Two must ALWAYS remember to or The Star will correct your manners.
    Jason to Deanna: "Is he around here? Hope not."
    Kiptyn forgot to with Jillian (but she mentions him), but that's OK... we knew he was F2 all along.
    Gia thanks Mr. Harrison, but Tenley doesn't. Nonetheless, Jake makes a point to remind Tenley that the card is "from Mr. Harrison". At least Tenley doesn't interrupt him.
    Chris to Ali: "Will he jump up in scuba gear and scare me?
    ... it also helps if either you are totally "coy" like Kiptyn and Tenley or the opposite: Jason flung The Card in the air and Chris sang "fantasy suiiiiiiiite".

    13.) Also, it makes it so much easier for viewers to recognize you as a Final Three Dumpee (or dumper, as in Frank) if The Star acts hotter with you than the others.
    Deanna couldn't wait to get Jeremy into the sack and he practically slammed the door on the camera crew.
    Favorite line from Jason's Jillian: ''I knew if we were to spend the night together, it'd be a long night. I just wanted to make sure he could handle that, handle all of this fire."
    In turn, when she called the shots, Kiptyn kept his clothes on, Ed suffered a "misfire" prompting the lights to turn on again and "Honey Bear" got a bubble bath.
    Favorite Jake line: "Swinging on the hammock with Gia. It's like our bodies FIT together." Gia: "I'm ready to go All The Way." Again... bubble bath time.
    Never-mind that nothing happened between Ali and Frankie: she was "head over heels" for him. She already dubbed him a "lover" back in Istanbul and had every intention of "adding to history" in Tahiti.

    14.) No tightrope or bungee jump, no final rose for you. Molly had to wait for New Zealand for hers... and had to wait until after the show to be Jason's Final One.

    15.) Most importantly, don't come onto this show after a sad divorce (Jason, Tenley), a lost parent(s) (Deanna herself, Jeremy, Chris), have "trouble opening up" (practically all rejects) or being the heartbreaker and not the heartbreakee (Kiptyn). You are destined to be dumped.

    Also remember that this show is not about romance... which is why Final One always get less attention on screen than you. This show is all about tragedy and drama! drama! drama! Oh... and if you gouge your eyes out like Oedipus Rex, they will give you even more screen time.
    Great list JBF~some to add:

    16) If you get traditional dancers on your FD (or fire-throwers), you're toast

    17) If the camera pans to you for a reaction after the Bachelorette interacts with someone else, you're not the chosen one

    18) A catamaran date does not guarantee you will go ring-shopping anytime soon

    19) If you get a voice-over in previews that sounds even remotely promising....(...some fairy-tales you don't believe, then they happen...) you are not ending up engaged at the end

  5. #675
    TEAM BREMILY ♥ Truelovealways's Avatar
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    Re: Chris L - no spoilers

    I just saw a poll of who should be the next bachelor Chris or Kirk and Chris was winning with 90% . Oh and Chris now has 10,000 fans on his FB fan page
    "People throw rocks at things that shine and life makes love look hard but my choice is you" -Bremily

  6. #676
    FORT Fogey Midol's Avatar
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    Re: Chris L - no spoilers

    Quote Originally Posted by albean99;4029712;
    I just don't know, Alanna. I had thought he wouldn't be until Ali insisted that he'd have been in the f2 and she wanted him to meet her family. I can't understand why she'd intentionally undermine what people saw with Chris (not to mention being a slap in the face for Chris) unless it was true. That along with Roberto getting the classic f2 edit makes me wonder if Frank was going to be the f1 and Ali decided to go with the chemistry guy after he left.

    I'm getting such a DeAnna/Jesse vibe with A/R and can't shake that no matter how good looking Roberto is and how lovey dovey they appear. Hopefully if Chris decides to do TB he comes out with a love story that we can all believe.
    There is never going to be a "love story" that we can all believe. We all have our own personal preference and prejudice and that determines how we see/interpret what is presented to us by TPTB.

    To quote my mom "If the whole world thought like you did, everything would be perfect"...She can be so sarcastic...Guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree...
    Try to be as nice a person as your dog thinks you are.

  7. #677
    FORT Fogey
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    Re: Chris L - no spoilers

    Quote Originally Posted by Agentcurls;4030486;
    Great list JBF~some to add:

    16) If you get traditional dancers on your FD (or fire-throwers), you're toast

    17) If the camera pans to you for a reaction after the Bachelorette interacts with someone else, you're not the chosen one

    18) A catamaran date does not guarantee you will go ring-shopping anytime soon

    19) If you get a voice-over in previews that sounds even remotely promising....(...some fairy-tales you don't believe, then they happen...) you are not ending up engaged at the end

    Very gently said ~

    #1. If you are the fan favorite, you are NOT the F1. The End.

    *This was their 20th show and was their best opportunity to give the fans a love story from start to finish - one that was clear. If they didn't do it on this one, I seriously doubt they will on the next one either. Fleiss and Co. don't appear to be an overly sentimental group.

    If Chris is the next Bachelor, and I think he will be, we will see his F2's or F3's story magnified, and it will appear as though he will lead on that lady. Look for the other one to be the F1.

    Keeping in mind always that free advice is worth exactly what it costs you, I would look for the F1 to most likely get her 1-1 in episode 2 or episode 3. Why? In the last 6 seasons, except for Jesse (who was DeAnna's original intended F3) and Molly (who was the original F2) all F1s have had their 1-1s during either the 2nd or 3rd episode. That could, of course, change.

  8. #678
    craziness sunshine08's Avatar
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    Re: Chris L - no spoilers

    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Benny Fan;4030380;
    Here try this for size... all in good fun and subject to corrections by fellow analyzers. Also, since Ali couldn't give Chris L. a straight answer regarding what she gained from their relationship... consider this what I the viewer gained from watching their relationship on TV and, once again, picking the WRONG final one this season.

    Top 15 signs that you are NOT the final one

    3.) Saying you are in love is a Big No-No. The actual Final One only says it in cheesy post-Fantasy Suite videos or in the final rose ceremony... not before. This is especially true with the Bachelorette. Women not named Trista ONLY chase after men who run from them or are a "mystery" to them. They don't go for those who are gooey eyed for them. Oh... and if you can say you can't live without The Star, that makes you even more of a glutton for torture. Better yet, use the word "vulnerable". In that way, the cameras will get real close to you when suffering your heartbreak. Tenley's tears were presented in High Definition.

    15.) Most importantly, don't come onto this show after a sad divorce (Jason, Tenley), a lost parent(s) (Deanna herself, Jeremy, Chris), have "trouble opening up" (practically all rejects) or being the heartbreaker and not the heartbreakee (Kiptyn). You are destined to be dumped.
    Great list JBF!! These are my 2 personal favorites. Every year we watch the F2/F3 spill out their heart, only to see them get it stomped on a week later... I guess TPTB think this is the ony way they'll get us to watch the next season of this warped show.
    Love is the only reality... unless you're MF :nono

  9. #679
    FORT Fogey veg_out's Avatar
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    Re: Chris L - no spoilers

    Quote Originally Posted by Bloomers;4030621;

    In the last 6 seasons, except for Jesse (who was DeAnna's original intended F3) and Molly (who was the original F2) all F1s have had their 1-1s during either the 2nd or 3rd episode. That could, of course, change.
    That's the crazy part of analyzing this show: determining Fleiss' motives and methods. Is he showing us these blatant declarations of love by this guy or girl cuz s/he's F1 or to throw us off the trail? I just remember all of Vienna's very obvious statements that ended up being true. But then we have Chris and Reid's statements that are obviously decoys.

    Fleiss' duping of the spoiler threads makes me think that he's certainly very well aware of all the speculation/sleuthing that goes on out there. He's gotta know that certain patterns have been ID'd, like the 3rd date/F1 connection.

    He likes messing with us.

    I have so many questions about the final week(s) in Tahiti esp. regarding Chris.

  10. #680
    craziness sunshine08's Avatar
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    Re: Chris L - no spoilers

    Quote Originally Posted by latergator;4029821;
    yup... I agree. MF left too much in for the viewer to believe that he could have moved quickly beyond finding the girl of his dreams, his perfect girl, his soul mate to searching amongst the next set of 25 bimbos being brought to the slaughter mansion. My 84 yo mom was mortified when she found out that he was being offered the position and filming would begin as early as October. Her words... "You've got to be kidding! Anyone in their right mind could see how terribly affected he still was trying to watch it on that last show, and how drawn he still was to Ali. They can't be serious can they?" Let's just say... I've given her fair warning :nono
    Yep. I think the goofy smile he had on his face when she came out at the ATFR said it all... it broke my heart.
    Love is the only reality... unless you're MF :nono

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