Chris L - no spoilers

[laceygirl]

I have experienced a very personal loss...mine was sudden, and traumatic and nearly 15 years ago...and I am still caught off guard with non-intentional comments even to this day. Trust me, I know it is a real downer to talk of a death of a loved one, people are caring and sympathetic but there are times when you just don't want to go down that road yourself. He might not have been able to trust himself at that time...the tears can just flow out of nowhere and sometimes you need to have yourself emotionally prepared to enter that conversation. His emotions were running high at that time...excitement, nervousness, not wanting to embarrass himself and his family on TV....add maybe hungry and tired too. I definitely think he needs to be cut some slack here....this was not a mean and deceitful lie. Sometimes the words are just too hard to form. My heart goes out to him...he will be grieving his mom for the rest of his life, just some days it will be easier than others. Like someone said...if Ali can't understand this, and why he "lied"...then maybe she's not the one for him. I have a feeling she will understand.

You are absolutely right, many years later and you still dont know how you will react when asked about a loved one. So I totally agree with his maturity in this situation. We have to remember the death of his mother was relatively recent, and not something that he could have comfortably discussed in front of millions right away. I say kudos to Chris. And kudos to Ali, I know she will understand, and see what a fine man he is.

[IrishGal]

Ali had 25 men to chat with at the M&G. Overwhelming! Chances are she won't exactly recall what Chris said or did not say that evening. I know she will react with total empathy to his sad story.

[anders332]

Totally agree with you and Jewels. To blurt out his mom died, and he moved back home to care for her at the M & G is just wrong. Who would say that to a girl they just meet and don't even know if they will be 'dateing' on the show or sent home the first night. It proves he wasn't desperate and using the sympathy card to get the rose. He's very comfortable in his own skin, except that Ali gives him 'butterflies' and makes him 'melt'. I hope he tells her that eventually. What woman wouldn't love to hear that from this gorgeous, 'got it all together' guy?

I agree, this is going to be a tear jerker, and jmo, I think when he tells her about his mom and she tells him about going back to the Cape to care for her grandma, they will cry and we will cry.

he's the one who brought up family, dad, brothers, etc.....he doesn't need to tell her the whole story, a simple "my mom passed away" would've been sufficient and I dont' think she would've been superficial enough to just give him a rose based on that - afterall we know she gave him one without knowing it.

[Patti2620]

he's the one who brought up family, dad, brothers, etc.....he doesn't need to tell her the whole story, a simple "my mom passed away" would've been sufficient and I dont' think she would've been superficial enough to just give him a rose based on that - afterall we know she gave him one without knowing it.

I believe he wanted to keep it light and a little flirty with Ali. Mentioning anyone dying, esp a parent would put a damper on it, and put Ali in a tough spot as to what to say about it, since she woudn't know the circumstances of the death. JMO, but I feel it would have been insensitive to Ali to bring his mom's suffering with ALS and her subsequent death at the M & G, as it was about Ali, not his mom, and Chris wanted to spend his time hearing more from Ali. The mom's suffering and death are a long and sad story for him to relate..not the time or place at all. He will tell her when the time is right.

Also, Ali didn't mention that she moved back to the Cape area from SF to care for her dying grandma either and she could have when she saw they are from the same area. It wasn't the time or place for either one to tell those heart wrenching things.

His parents never divorced and were still married when his mom died, and that's why he answered like he did..not a lie, Ali was referring to if they were together as in married or divorced.

[anders332]

He didn't need to tell her the whole story - I stand by what I said, a simple "my mom passed away" would've been sufficient - I'm sure neither of them would've pursued it beyond that, since that clearly wasn't the place, but not saying it just isn't right in my book.

[jewels2312]

Both Ali and Chris put their lives on hold to care for an ailing parent--that's something very special that they have in common, and what it tells me is that they are both on the same page as far as family values and priorities are concerned. Whether they will be able to build on that and turn it into a lasting relationship, who knows for sure at this point? It's still very early to tell what the outcome will be, but at this point, I'm just touched by that, and admire them both for what they did and the people that they are. Truly hearts of gold! I can't wait to see how these two interact, I'm really looking forward to the upcoming episodes!

[UnRealLife]

Both Ali and Chris put their lives on hold to care for an ailing parent--that's something very special that they have in common, and what it tells me is that they are both on the same page as far as family values and priorities are concerned. Whether they will be able to build on that and turn it into a lasting relationship, who knows for sure at this point? It's still very early to tell what the outcome will be, but at this point, I'm just touched by that, and admire them both for what they did and the people that they are. Truly hearts of gold! I can't wait to see how these two interact, I'm really looking forward to the upcoming episodes!

If you watch TB with Ali's comments, she said it broke her heart that she ask him that question. That may not be the exact quote, but I'm sure she has no problem with the way he answered that. And for what it's worth, neither do I.

[Jobro]

If you watch TB with Ali's comments, she said it broke her heart that she ask him that question. That may not be the exact quote, but I'm sure she has no problem with the way he answered that. And for what it's worth, neither do I.

I think we are making a bigger deal out of it than it is. They get 3 min together hoping to make enough of an impression to stay after JUST meeting. THIS IS TOUGH.

Lying was NOT his intention. That's what counts. Omission? Yes. I don't think they're even listening to eachother. It's more visual and seeing if they feel good sitting next to eachother or not. Sheesh people, Ali didn't even catch when Chris told her that he lives with HIS FATHER. He didn't say parents...See what I mean?

The first convos are so superficial and quick that getting into a conversation about death/dying is out of the question, unless you're nuts, or a little slow and looking for sympathy.

Hope this clears things up.

[Patti2620]

I think we are making a bigger deal out of it than it is. They get 3 min together hoping to make enough of an impression to stay after JUST meeting. THIS IS TOUGH.

Lying was NOT his intention. That's what counts. Omission? Yes. I don't think they're even listening to eachother. It's more visual and seeing if they feel good sitting next to eachother or not. Sheesh people, Ali didn't even catch when Chris told her that he lives with HIS FATHER. He didn't say parents...See what I mean?

The first convos are so superficial and quick that getting into a conversation about death/dying is out of the question, unless you're nuts, or a little slow and looking for sympathy.

Hope this clears things up.

I think you've made a good point and puts it all in proper perspective.

[Noobslueth]

I see what Anders is saying... He could have said something then and elaborated later. But I don't think what he did was wrong either. I could picture CL and Ali having a serious conversation only to interrupted by Rated R or Shooter... how terrible.