Episode Micro-Caps for The Bachelorette 9

[Arielflies]

Episode 2: Rappin’ to the Beat

Nineteen Bachelors inspect the Mansion and hear the date rules from Chris Harrison.

Individual Date

Des chooses Brooks to indulge in a wedding dress design fantasy. They picnic on a platform supported by one of the L letters of the Hollywood sign high in the hills. They drive to a closed bridge to dine alfresco under chandeliers then dance on a rug to music by Andy Grammer.

Brooks receives the Rose.

Group Date

Fourteen guys (Dan, Juan Pablo, Kasey, Zack K, Will, Brian, Drew, James, Mikey, Zak W, Nick, Michael G, Brandon, Ben) join Des at the Malibu Oaks Mountain Winery atop a hill in Malibu. There they dress up in costume to perform a Rap Video, “Right Reasons” bachelorette desire rap video w Soulja Boy ??? - YouTube produced by Soulja Boy that parodies various Bachelorette villains over the seasons.

Ben receives the Rose.

Three (Robert, Chris and Brad) do not go on a date this week.

Individual Date

Des chooses Bryden for a road trip. They hit the road in the powder blue Bentley GT with stops at: El Matador Beach in Malibu where they play in the sand and water; an orange grove where they have a picnic lunch and end their trip at the Ojai Valley Inn Spa in Ojai where they hot tub under the stars.

Bryden receives the Rose.

Rose Party Drama

Ben cuts in on Michael G when MG was in the middle of disclosing information about his life as a Type 1 Diabetic. The others (including MG) don’t like that one with a date rose is stealing time from those who don’t.

Rose Ceremony

Brooks (Date Rose)
Ben (Date Rose)
Bryden (Date Rose)
James
Kasey
Dan
Juan Pablo (Des asks if he will accept the rose in Spanish)
Brad
Chris
Brian
Zak W
Drew
Mikey
Zack K
Michael G
Brandon

The Rejected: Will, Robert and Nick

Next week the drama continues with Ben and another with a girlfriend who comes for a visit.
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If the Guys were polled: Most Annoying Bachelor/Does Not Get Along with Others Winner would be Ben.

Sob Stories – too many to list

Kiss Meter: 3 (Brooks, Bryden, Ben)

[JunkieGirl]

Thanks for the mini-caps, I have a compulsion to know what is happening, just don't have the desire to watch right now. I didn't realize so many guys have names that start with B, was this season sponsored by Sesame Street?

[Arielflies]

6/10 Episode 3: Cowboy Up for the Phalange Breakdown

Everyone Plays This Week

Group Date – Balls Thrown Hard or Love is a Battlefield

Chris, Brian, Drew, Michael, Brooks, Brad, Mikey, Brandon, Zack K, Ben get the nod for the first of two group dates.

The battle is dodge ball with two teams of five and the battlefield is a cage set up in a public place with people watching. The last few seasons the producers no longer care to outwit the sleuthers by trying to hide the locations of the planned dates and place them in public venues. However, the planners for this date had to include at least one strong willed sadist as the play is fast and furious. It results in an injury (broken finger) for Brooks and it is such a producer’s dream to see the ambulance arrive and a contestant depart. That along with an upset Bachelorette is such good footage.

An injured Brooks returns for the mash-up party promised to the winning team; though both teams have been invited (have we seen this before? ). But even with his taped up finger, he doesn’t receive the rose.

Chris wins alone time to dance with Desiree to singer, Kate Earl. He receives the rose.

Individual Date Interruptus

Before Kasey can race off with the powder blue Bentley GT and Desiree, girl drama forces its way into the bachelor abode. Apparently Brian hadn’t completely finished his business with a girlfriend back home and she takes the opportunity to embarrass him on television with a diatribe that goes on and on and on. She wins her point and he is kicked off the show; foregone conclusion without the diatribe.

All righty, then, Kasey – are you ready to dance and dangle? He is, and with a professional dance couple, he and Desiree dangle by ropes off the side of a building spinning and twisting the rest of the afternoon away.

Kasey receives the rose.

Group Date – Hi Ho Silver…AWAY!

Once Brian is vamoosed and Kasey dispatched, the five remaining bachelors (Dan, James, Juan Pablo, Bryden, Zak W ) ride in a stage coach pulled by a team of six from the mansion in Malibu to a movie ranch. Really? I don’t think so. Once there they learn cowboy stunt tricks from the stunt crew that trained the actors for the film, The Lone Ranger. We are introduced to Silver, the horse (and two of his backups) and Juan Pablo is introduced to a western drawl as taught by Texan, Zak. Juan Pablo also wins the damsel and they head off to a barn to watch the film and eat popcorn.

James receives the rose.

Roses in the Pool

No fancy dress at the rose party, board shorts and speedos are the costume required for the afternoon pool party. The relaxed atmosphere once again gives Ben the perfect opportunity to get a jump on the guys and irritate the heck out of them. He intercepts Des when she arrives, jumps in our favorite Bentley, and they take a private spin around the block. With two guys lurking at the gate, he tells Des to keep their rendezvous a secret and flat-face lies to the guys when questioned.

After a squish up in the hot tub, everyone jumps out to get ready for the Rose Ceremony.

Order of the Roses

Chris (date rose)
Kasey (date rose)
James (date rose)
Bryden
Juan Pablo
Zak W
Brooks
Drew
Zack K
Brad
Michael
Mikey
Ben

No More Roses
Dan (Good-bye young Jeff Probst look alike)
Brandon (Let go because he felt too much and she felt too little)

Previews – Travel time…first stop the Jersey Shore and all the kitsch that implies as well as a nod to the recent storm damage tragedy.
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Tidbits Uncovered:

Brad has a three year old son and is sole custodian.
Brian has a yappy girlfriend.
James has a sick father.
Brandon shows his intensity throughout this episode finally telling her he loves her. She winces.

Kiss Meter: (8 – some repeats) Brooks, Chris, Kasey, Juan Pablo, Bryden, James, Ben, Brandon

[ilja]

She winces.

[n4692u]

She winces.

SHE winced? OMG, I winced too!! Brandon was such an immature baby. Des did say at the beginning of the show that she was looking for a man, not a boy. Glad she sent him back to the nursery. LOL

[Arielflies]

Episode 4: A Hodge Podge of Tomfoolery

“Come fly with me, let’s fly, Let’s fly away;”** all the way to Atlantic City, NJ, the birth state of Frank Sinatra whose era is brought lovingly into this episode.

In The Glare of a Lighthouse

Brad, with a son, receives the first individual date. Des wants to know if he thinks she is the right woman to be the child’s mother and if she and Brad have the chemistry to be husband and wife.

“Once I get you up there where the air is rarified
We'll just glide, starry-eyed
Once I get you up there I'll be holding you so near
You may hear angels cheer 'cause we're together”

After a day of playing like children on the boardwalk, they hike to the top of a lighthouse, and she decides that, while they are out of breath from the climb, they are not breathless about each other. The angels do not cheer.

Back at the hotel, the guys lurch forward from the couches to observe the man-hands retrieving Brad’s packed bag.

Brad does NOT receive a rose.

Hey, It’s Atlantic City, It Must be Miss America Time or The Bachelorette’s Mr. America

The group date (Brooks, Bryden, Zack K, Kasey, Drew, Juan Pablo, Zak W, Mikey, Ben, Michael, Chris) belongs to Chris Harrison, the host of the Miss America Pageant. They first travel to Pageant Hall on the Boardwalk, get a history lesson and meet Miss America 2013, Mallory Hytes Hagan, in all her sparkly crowned glory. Oh, these producers are so clever…um, why not have the guys put on a show like they are in a pageant? Chris Harrison can host…synergy.

They learn to present themselves Pageant style from a trainer, pick out various props to display a form of talent, practice the interview portion with Miss America and pull tagged swimsuits from a rack for the swimsuit competition.

“If you can use some exotic booze
There's a bar in far Bombay”

At this point, all of them would rather be in far Bombay.

Those featured as performers in front of a live audience:

Kasey (interview and talent – a story about tap dancing)
Zak W (interview and talent – sings a song on guitar he wrote for Des)
Brooks (interview and talent – sings a silly song while holding a ukulele)
Chris (interview and talent – walks out in heels and twirls hula hoops)
Juan Pablo (interview)
Mikey (interview and talent – he shows off his beefcake)
Ben (talent – twirls ribbons)
Drew (talent – reads Shakespeare)
Bryden (talent – looks for stripper cash from the Atlantic City Mayor)

At the end of the swimsuit strut, the guys line up on stage and hold hands just like a real pageant while waiting for the judges’ verdict. And the winner is…..pause, pause, pause…wait….this is a pageant, so we get the second runner up – Brooks, then first runner up (in case the winner falls down) Zak W. FINALLEY, the WINNER IS (TA DA!) KASEY!

He gets a sheaf of roses and a King’s crown, but not the one date rose.

Party Time

Ben once again annoys the guys; Bryden to the point of hatred. Speaking of Bryden, he did not get to talk with Des and wonders where he stands with her.

Zak W gets the rose.

And Speaking of Date Synergy

But, first…James has the second individual date and takes time while the guys are away to treat himself to a bubble bath and chocolate. What a way to unwind from doing nothing.

“It's perfect for a flying honeymoon, they say
Come fly with me, let's fly, let's fly”

James and Des are met at a heliport by Red Cross Worker, Jackie, who takes them on a flying and walking tour of damage done by Hurricane Sandy.

Every season the Bachelor Charity arm takes over a date and this is the one they decided to use this season. To make the date more personal, Jackie introduces them to Jan and Manny whose home was severely damaged. (BTW – I hope when the electrician arrives to re-string the wiring, he gets rid of the old knob and tube currently seen in the rafters.) The couple made their way to a Red Cross shelter and spent their 38th anniversary there. Because they missed out on date night for their anniversary, the franchise with Des’ words offers them the fancy part of her date with James. James agrees and looks as concerned and solemn as he has since the date began.

Jan and Manny remind me of the New Jerseyites who would have listened to native son Frank Sinatra’s records, or perhaps they were beginning to groove to The Boss. During their candlelit dinner they were presented a reclaimed wedding photo album by the Red Cross. That brought tears to my eyes. That and the love they showed toward one another.

Des and James join them and point them to the next room where Darius Rucker plays and sings for them to take their anniversary dance. Des and James join them and claim a dance for their own.

James receives the rose.

Order of the Roses

Zak W (date rose)
James (date rose)
Chris
Brooks
Juan Pablo
Drew
Michael
Ben
Kasey
Bryden (He closes his eyes and pauses, pauses, decides to walk up to accept the rose.)
Mikey

Walking out all alone – Zack K. who is a publisher hailing from Irvine, CA.

Tidbits Uncovered:

Juan Pablo has a daughter.

Mikey has a sensitive side, likes long walks on the beach.

Chris writes poetry, visits coffee houses.

Zak W writes songs and plays guitar – a WGWG

James cheated on a girl with whom he had a long term relationship. Des has been hurt in that manner, but decides to believe him when he says he learned from the experience.

Bryden goes into the cocktail party unsure if he will stay and accept the rose. After a talk with Des, he makes his decision.
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They are off to Munich, Germany where there is snow on the ground, yodelers on the walls and perhaps lederhosen on the guys.
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**"Come Fly with Me" is a 1957 song composed by Jimmy Van Heusen, with lyrics by Sammy Cahn. (c) Capitol Records

Come Fly With Me by Frank Sinatra

Come fly with me, let's fly, let's fly away
If you can use some exotic booze
There's a bar in far Bombay
Come fly with me, let's fly, let's fly away

Come fly with me, let's float down to Peru
In llama land there's a one-man band
And he'll toot his flute for you
Come fly with me, let's take off in the blue

Once I get you up there where the air is rarified
We'll just glide, starry-eyed
Once I get you up there I'll be holding you so near
You may hear angels cheer 'cause we're together

Weather-wise it's such a lovely day
You just say the words and we'll beat the birds
Down to Acapulco Bay
It's perfect for a flying honeymoon, they say
Come fly with me, let's fly, let's fly away

Once I get you up there where the air is rarified
We'll just glide, starry-eyed
Once I get you up there I'll be holding you so near
You may hear angels cheer 'cause we're together

Weather-wise it's such a lovely day
You just say the words and we'll beat the birds
Down to Acapulco Bay
It's perfect for a flying honeymoon, they say
Come fly with me, let's fly, let's fly
Pack up, let's fly away!!

[ilja]

Well no wonder I'm liking Zack W so much. I can dig me some WGWG and was right about AI being so boring without one.

As much as I'm crushin on Chris for Des, I must say I was a bit uncomfortable with how much fun he had in those heels.

Oh, that's who James is. I forgot for a minute there. I was thinking they should have had Tony Bennett for entertainment for the Fonz, er Manny and Jan but you are probably correct that they were more into Sinatra. I was just trying to think of someone still alive.

Oh yeah, I was shocked by the Juan Pablo daughter reveal.

I thought Mikey was funny. Of course, I think Mikey is always funny. I'm really glad he's on the show. I can imagine how much more boring it would be without him.

[echo226]

I have to find out if my cousins know Mikey. Maybe we can invite him for the holidays.

I'm glad he's on the show too. He is just such fun. Has a sense of humor ... and a sense of humor about himself too!

Desiree'is taken with Brooks being funny .... so doesn't realize that Mikey is funnier.

[cubsfan55]

I have to find out if my cousins know Mikey. Maybe we can invite him for the holidays.

I'm glad he's on the show too. He is just such fun. Has a sense of humor ... and a sense of humor about himself too!

Desiree'is taken with Brooks being funny .... so doesn't realize that Mikey is funnier.

Echo~
Are you talking about Mikey T.? The dude from Glen Ellyn?
I grew up in GE and returned about 7 years ago. Do your cousins live near here?

[echo226]

Echo~
Are you talking about Mikey T.? The dude from Glen Ellyn?
I grew up in GE and returned about 7 years ago. Do your cousins live near here?

The "base" is Elmwood Park ... so I think about 1/2 hour away. But they are scattered in that area.

Be careful so we don't go too off topic, but Mikey seems like he would be a fit.