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Thread: 2/09 Show Discussion **spoilers**

  1. #381
    Reader more than poster Kacey253's Avatar
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    Re: 2/09 Show Discussion **spoilers**

    Quote Originally Posted by Nani;3314623;
    Not necessarily their ADULT children. I don't know my son's best friends...I hear alot about them..but I have met them maybe once in passing.
    IA...my experience with my daughter is similar to your's with your son. I'm very close to my daughter. I know her childhood friends very well but I've not met the close friends she made in college. She tells me alot about them but I've never had any expectation that I should or would meet them. She is an adult now and establishing an independent life. She doesn't need Mommy hovering every step of the way. I know she talks about me a bit to her friends but I don't consider myself fascinating enough for her to be discussing me with her friends on a regular basis. That would truly be odd in my book.

    I don't understand the posters that seem to think it is a huge red flag that Melissa's friends that she and Jason had dinner with don't know much about her parents. I can equally speculate that maybe they know more than they felt comfortable saying on camera out of respect for her parent's sense of privacy. Just like with everything else on this show, the only information we really have is from what the producers show us in the edits.
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  2. #382
    Signed, Sealed, Delivered prhoshay's Avatar
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    Re: 2/09 Show Discussion **spoilers**

    Quote Originally Posted by Adagia;3315453;
    I believe it was Jillian's mom who had depression, not Melissa's.
    Whoops! I think you're right!
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

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  3. #383
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    Re: 2/09 Show Discussion **spoilers**

    Quote Originally Posted by Kacey253;3315576;
    IA...my experience with my daughter is similar to your's with your son. I'm very close to my daughter. I know her childhood friends very well but I've not met the close friends she made in college. She tells me alot about them but I've never had any expectation that I should or would meet them. She is an adult now and establishing an independent life. She doesn't need Mommy hovering every step of the way. I know she talks about me a bit to her friends but I don't consider myself fascinating enough for her to be discussing me with her friends on a regular basis. That would truly be odd in my book.

    I don't understand the posters that seem to think it is a huge red flag that Melissa's friends that she and Jason had dinner with don't know much about her parents. I can equally speculate that maybe they know more than they felt comfortable saying on camera out of respect for her parent's sense of privacy. Just like with everything else on this show, the only information we really have is from what the producers show us in the edits.
    I completely agree with you!

  4. #384
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    Re: 2/09 Show Discussion **spoilers**

    Attending a child's high school or college activities is one thing; going to one's daughter's WORK-PLACE, even if public, is another. My parents went to my school concerts; they never saw me teach.
    Melissa's parents are aware that Jason was on a previous reality show (to marry, no less), and their daughter was on a previous reality show. Perhaps they simply have disdain for such shows and see no need to be on one themselves, given that Melissa is a full-fledged adult.
    I wonder how a DCC can easily make the adjustment to Seattle housewife.

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    Re: 2/09 Show Discussion **spoilers**

    Quote Originally Posted by CookieJ;3314484;
    I just don't get the attraction to Melissa. She's cute, but she's whiny and needy. Doesn't Jason get that enough with his son? I just think it's all physical attraction and nothing more.

    I would bet that Jason is such a nurturer and caretaker and a rescuer that he's really really attracted to people who *need* him and that the physical has relatively little to do with it. Not only does he seem drawn *way* more to every woman on the show once she starts crying or something, but he also raised with Jillian as a *problem* that she's strong and nurturing herself. Either by nature or life experience or probably both, I get the impression that he's got a kneejerk love response to a hurting woman.

  6. #386
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    Re: 2/09 Show Discussion **spoilers**

    Quote Originally Posted by natashapierre;3315668;
    I would bet that Jason is such a nurturer and caretaker and a rescuer that he's really really attracted to people who *need* him and that the physical has relatively little to do with it. Not only does he seem drawn *way* more to every woman on the show once she starts crying or something, but he also raised with Jillian as a *problem* that she's strong and nurturing herself. Either by nature or life experience or probably both, I get the impression that he's got a kneejerk love response to a hurting woman.

    Well said! As much as he claims to be "over" Deannnnna and ready to be in love and claims to be in love (that's twice in less than a year?) that he chose her "double" raises the question if he is even aware of his subconscious decision.

    After his ex left maybe he is looking for a "needy" woman who will need him more than he needs her, enough to not walk out on him. A strong woman like Jillian would seem like a problem perhaps bec' she can hold on her own and he sees it as a risk that he will end up standing alone all over again. That just goes to show had Deaaaaaaaaaana accepted his proposal the risk of her walking out for her own aspirations would have meant another failure.

    Molly and Jillian seem like independent women, Melissa is more needy. Not sure if Melissa and Jason will work out after all. Something is odd here.JMO!

  7. #387
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    Re: 2/09 Show Discussion **spoilers**

    Quote Originally Posted by natashapierre;3313495;
    Good points.

    Plus, they don't just turn around on a dime and suddenly develop a long-term attachment to a guy who's a big-time nurturer.

    I can see Jason being attracted to Melissa through his savior-white-knight-nurturing-guy side and Melissa clinging to him briefly, partly because she kind of wants rescue and partly because the whole tv-show thing is a rush (not dissimilar to the rush she may get from bad boys).... and then, very shortly, I can see Melissa suddenly realizing that she's "not in love" with Jason after all because he never gives her the adrenalin pump that the man's-man/kinda abusive boyfriends have.

    Not a pretty picture.

    Jason, did they teach you nothing in those psych classes?

    For the time being, Melissa is the Deannnnna look-alike and Jason may be working through (subconsciously) something he needs to deal with after the rejection from Deaannnnnnna. Melissa may be a nice person but with a lot of baggage to toss before she is ready to step into the role of mentor and step mom. If she has issues in her relationships (be it family or bfs) it is going to play out in some form with Ty as well. If Melissa is emotionally clingy that may not work well in the long run in any relationship. I still think she will be the one to walk away once their contractual obligations are up. Jason yet again will be the one to get dumped. Seems like the pattern he has set up for himself. Unless he works through why he sets himself up for rejection over and again, he will choose women who walk away from him again and again. He should address it before he confuses the heck out of Ty.

  8. #388
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    Re: 2/09 Show Discussion **spoilers**

    Quote Originally Posted by CookieJ;3314615;
    Giving Melissa credit on this one, I don't think it's necessarily something that Jason should be warned about. Not all of us have the most loving and attentive families, and it's not always because we have unresolved issues. Melissa could just be very, very different from the people who raised her, and could want desperately to make sure that the family that she creates is different. It's like blaming an abused child for being abused. I wouldn't shy away from someone who had been abused just because there was a possibility that he or she could eventually become an abuser...I would applaud the courage of that person to do their best to break the cycle.

    Just in the way that she has presented things so far, I just feel like there are some skeletons there that she could have nothing to do with. There could be hidden vices, abuse, any number of dysfunctional issues that she is having to overcome. She has a tendency to pick loser men that dominate her and make her feel worthless. In my opinion, that signals neglect and abuse in her past. I don't think she should be denied the opportunity to be happy just because someone has possibly beaten her down. When you're beaten down all of your life and called worthless, it's hard to suddenly believe in yourself. If that's what's happened in Melissa's life, then I applaud her for doing everything she can to make that change.
    Melissa has every right to her own happiness. Relationships in general need a lot of awareness and work to grow and thrive. My point is that she if she is needy of Jason (who comes with an impressionable 4 year old Ty) there is a possibility she may be taking on more than she can handle at this point if she has unresolved issues about her past that may impact her life going forward. Avoidance or pretending those issues will disappear bec' she found a guy like Jason would only make things worse in the long run. JMO!

  9. #389
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    Re: 2/09 Show Discussion **spoilers**

    Quote Originally Posted by sclilred1;3313131;
    Major red flags tonight concerning Melissa's family. I can understand not wanting to be on national tv and all but for her rest friends to not know her parents is extremely strange. The one friend (Stefanie) had met them only one time when they were in college? And can't really remember what Melissa's dad is like? Jason needs to think long and hard about that before he jumps into something with her based on their "connection" and chemistry.
    I don't think it's as huge a deal as others do. Mr. Rattus never met my mother and only met my father and sister a handful of times and we've been very happily married for nearly 22 years. It's the relationship between the two participants in the coupling that matters, not the relationship with those only tangentially involved. And that pair of bland and uninteresting dullards seem to really into each other. Good for them, I guess.
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  10. #390
    FORT Fogey graycat11's Avatar
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    Re: 2/09 Show Discussion **spoilers**

    Quote Originally Posted by prhoshay;3315386;
    If I were Jason, I'd be concerned with what age Melissa's mother started battling her severe depression, and if that kind of thing is hereditary. Anybody with any sense would look to get plenty of medical information on that condition. Is it possible that Melissa will be heading down her mother's path? Serious consideration, if you ask me.
    Yes, it is something I'd wonder about too. It was Jillian's mom.

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