The Bachelorette Diaries - Part 2: High Tea and Tonsil Hockey

[MsFroggy]

Despite two very well-connected and very well paid contributors and dawns spent shivering in the unrelenting cold waiting for our contacts to show up, we're sorry to report that things have taken a turn for the worse last week. Two of our valiant spies were forced to return home empty handed on two separate occasions when our jittery insiders failed to make their scheduled rendezvous. After repeated phone calls late at night, emails and even coded snail mail that all went unanswered, we realized that we've been bitterly betrayed by our former associates. Suddenly we found ourselves up a creek without a paddle.

All our hopes of bringing you these precious diaries now seemed lost forever. In our darkest hour, when we were ready to just make this damn stuff up desperately contemplating drowning our sorrows in cheap whiskey, a knight in shining armor Fleiss' assistant swooped in and illuminated our dark despair. He came ready to hand over the goods, and boy did he ever! For nothing more than ten grand a handshake and our undying gratitude as payment, he brought us all the Bachelorette diaries... and then some.

Amanda


Ashlee


Chelsea


Holly


Kelly


Marshana


Noelle


Robin


Shayne


Matthew


Chris


We must stress, that despite our best efforts, it is entirely possible that these sensational diary pages are all a vicious fabrication and no more than the figments of some overactive imaginations with excellent typing skills. Read at your own risk.

Thanks to contributing FORT writers and moderators : AshleyPSU, lildago, Mariner, marybethp, MsFroggy, PhoneGrrrl, Rosekid, Speedbump, Yardgnome and Amanda.

[Google]

 

[beachgirl4]

Originally Posted by MsFroggy

All our hopes of bringing you these precious diaries now seemed lost forever. In our darkest hour, when we were ready to just make this damn stuff up desperately contemplating drowning our sorrows in cheap whiskey, a knight in shining armor Fleiss' assistant swooped in and illuminated our dark despair. He came ready to hand over the goods, and boy did he ever! For nothing more than ten grand a handshake and our undying gratitude as payment, he brought us all the Bachelorette diaries... and then some.[/i]

Excellent - great stuff, everyone!

[Chacharo]

Oh, thank you knight in shining armour for getting ahold of the Matt and Chris diaries. They are simply brilliant!

[psucashcow]

My prayers have been answered....thanks for such fabulous finds/stolen goods.... AshleyPSU, lildago, Mariner, marybethp, MsFroggy, PhoneGrrrl, Rosekid, Speedbump, Yardgnome and Amanda. I would have poneyed up at least a fiver for Chris' Manly Thoughts alone. As for Matt's....anyone have a English Phraseology for Dummies..

[MotherSister]

These are hilarious! Great job everyone.

[beachgirl4]

Originally Posted by psucashcow

My prayers have been answered....thanks for such fabulous finds/stolen goods.... AshleyPSU, lildago, Mariner, marybethp, MsFroggy, PhoneGrrrl, Rosekid, Speedbump, Yardgnome and Amanda. I would have poneyed up at least a fiver for Chris' Manly Thoughts alone. As for Matt's....anyone have a English Phraseology for Dummies..

... and which bach'ette would you give it to?

[KareyR2]

Brilliant read! Simply brilliant. LMAO!!!! Great stuff.
Karey :-)

[nocalgal]

Brilliant!

[Beachmom]

First time I've read these - they're priceless! To quote Amanda, "Think I'm l-o-s-i-n' control" **singing along to Grease soundtrack**

[IvoryMist]

Who actually writes these diaries?