The Bachelor 3/17/08 Recap: Tally, Ho’s! Let the Fox Hunt Begin

[catn3d]

Nothing makes me happier than these recaps! OK...I may have been stretching the truth just a little, but I do LOVE them. My favorite parts:

I find myself smiling broadly as I deliciously anticipate the ladies presenting themselves to Matt with limp, wet hair, dragging soggy hemlines behind them and mascara streaming down their doleful faces - yes, I’m depraved like that, heheh. (I did too LOL)

Princess Jasmine Marshana, 27, fashion designer, Brooklyn, NY - Matt compliments her dress but I’m blinded by the many jewels glued (did she use a Bedazzler?) to her massive forehead (would one that size be called a ten-head?). LOL

Chris tells Matt his future wife could be waiting for him inside the house, and I’m convinced I saw the tiniest little hint of a smirk on Chris’ face which tells me there is no way in hell he believes a word he’s saying. (I feel bad for Chris...sometimes)

Rebecca attempts to get Matt’s attention by “busting some moves” as she grinds alone on the dance floor. Since she’s an attorney, I wonder if she’s ever used that technique to get a judge’s attention in a courtroom. (OMG, I'm cracking up picturing this!)

Ashlee just happens to have her guitar with her and sings a song that she wrote especially for Matt. Afterward, I wait for Matt to say, “I don’t know dawg, it was a little pitchy” but I guess being an English gentleman and all, he resists the urge. Damn. (I don't know if it was your best performance )

Michelle P. magically produces a clarinet and as she sticks the reed into her mouth, she off-handedly makes the fabulous comment, “it has to be wet in order for it to vibrate.” (Seriously, line of the season!)

Mr. Happy reminds everyone that Amanda R. already has the First Impression Rose, so 14 roses remain and 10 ladies will be going home tonight. (I love when Chris does the math for us)

[Google]

 

[MotherSister]

Originally Posted by roseskid

Release the Hounds!

Ashlee just happens to have her guitar with her and sings a song that she wrote especially for Matt. Afterward, I wait for Matt to say, “I don’t know dawg, it was a little pitchy” but I guess being an English gentleman and all, he resists the urge. Damn.

A cracking good way to start the season. Great recap, roses.

[lyb5007]

Originally Posted by roseskid

Chris reappears and Matt says he’s been blown away. Now maybe it’s just me, but I would imagine an innocent comment such as being ‘blown away’ could take on a whole new meaning with some of these gals. I’m just sayin’.


Chris tells Matt his future wife could be waiting for him inside the house, and I’m convinced I saw the tiniest little hint of a smirk on Chris’ face which tells me there is no way in hell he believes a word he’s saying.

Roses are handed out as follows: Chelsea, Shayne, Michelle P., Marshana (from the clips we’ve seen of her tonight, I hope he likes drama because she’s packing, baby),

Roseskid is back! I love anticipating your recaps as I watch the episodes. You are the best part of "The Bachelor!"

[alizarules]

[quote=roseskid;2852781;][
When stressed Amanda R. gets little hiccups, however she’s noticed when Matt is in the room, she’s cured. Interesting. Michelle P. magically produces a clarinet and as she sticks the reed into her mouth, she off-handedly makes the fabulous comment, “it has to be wet in order for it to vibrate.” Booyah! Surely this sound bite (as well as many others) will be artfully featured on Friday night’s The Soup, and I can’t wait.
QUOTE]


LOL I was my high school band so I understood her comment. But reading out loud, hysterical.

[BSGFan]

I'm new here and I have to say that Roseskid's recap cracked me up. Thanks!!
I'm an old Bachelor fan but I had been really bored with the show until the Brit came up. I'm looking forward to this season and now I will also look forward to the recaps

[hawktree83]

Aaah Roseskid,

*So* good to see you back in such fine form.

I did love your "little pitchy" (my spell-check suggested "bitchy") comment and wonder if you would consider a full-time position as judge on American Idol. One show at a time though, and look forwards to more hilarity with my all-time favourite (correct spelling for us!) commentator extraordinaire.

Hawktree.

[Fancygirl]

Roseskid, your much awaited recap officially opens this Bachelor season for me. Thank you so much ! And what a bloke this season's bachelor is. Judging from the first show and the previews we're gonna have an awesome season (trying to convince myself here).So,...let the Sham,..oops,..I meant Show begin....

[AJane]

Originally Posted by roseskid

The English Patient (surely he’s a psychiatric patient to appear on this show)

I find myself smiling broadly as I deliciously anticipate the ladies presenting themselves to Matt with limp, wet hair, dragging soggy hemlines behind them and mascara streaming down their doleful faces - yes, I’m depraved like that, heheh.

Release the Hounds!

Princess Jasmine Marshana, 27, fashion designer, Brooklyn, NY - Matt compliments her dress but I’m blinded by the many jewels glued (did she use a Bedazzler?) to her massive forehead (would one that size be called a ten-head?).

Afterward, I wait for Matt to say, “I don’t know dawg, it was a little pitchy” but I guess being an English gentleman and all, he resists the urge. Damn.

Nothing Says ‘Call Me’ Like Your Worn Panties

Although Stacey has sobered up some, she’s irritated and announces that Matt has no idea what he could have had with her. Oh, dear Stacy, I think he does know what he could have had with you…genital warts, herpes, Chlamydia, just to name a few.

The best recap title of the year, Roses. Well done, mate.

[Cailg]

Originally Posted by tammommy

The recap was so much better than watching the show!!

I loved the comments!!

Thanks!

I have to agree with this! I only watch the show so that I can truly appreciate Roses' recaps! Each and every time I read one of Roses' recaps, I find myself laughing out loud. I would really love to have Roses interview Chris. That would be a riot!!

[Jewelsy]

Woo-Hoo! You and your bad-ass snarky self ROCK, roses!