The Bachelor 11/20 Show Discussion - After The Final Rose **spoilers**

[bugsme3]

So, AFTR was filmed last Friday and aired on Tuesday. Come Wednesday DeAnna is already saying she'd love to be the next Bachelorette? Is it just me or does this sound like someone whose heart wasn't stabbed all that badly after all?

I have not said anything since the finale but I have always thought that she was in it to win it. That word GAME stuck OUT LIKE A SORE THUMB when she got the rose at the race track. I dont believe she had her heart broken but I do believe someone else did. If her heart was broken she would not have wanted to do the bachelorette already. Maybe the aunt was right after all she wanted to be an actress she has played the part real well

[NoMoreBS]

So, AFTR was filmed last Friday and aired on Tuesday. Come Wednesday DeAnna is already saying she'd love to be the next Bachelorette? Is it just me or does this sound like someone whose heart wasn't stabbed all that badly after all?

I don't think that at all. I think she's smart enough to know that she "will" get over the jerk and not to throw away that kind of opportunity for him especially! She knows that show isn't going to happen "tomorrow" - and SHE at least REALLY was there looking for someone to spend her life with. I think that it's wonderful that after having such a "slick" player "play" her as badly as he did - she STILL believes in "happy ever after". I, for one, still do. I believe that while the male & female of the species are inherently different in how they "see" and process their feelings - that WAY more men are looking for the same thing we are than not. They just go about it differently. I am an optimist and "want" to and "need" to believe that men like Brad are in the minority out there because I am going to want to find another man to spend my life with again too soon I hope. I am hoping that DeAnna WILL get the opportunity to be the next Bachelette. Wonder how Mr. "Wonderful" Brad will enjoy watching that???

Well, back to Thanksgiving. Hope everyone out there is having a lot of great food - and a lot of great company! I can tell from the HTD that DeAnna's family are having a blast! Can you imagine what the family of the Brad's "next" conquest will think when she brings HIM home to meet the fam???? : I bet Bettina's father will look mild in comparison!!!

[zen4]

So, AFTR was filmed last Friday and aired on Tuesday. Come Wednesday DeAnna is already saying she'd love to be the next Bachelorette? Is it just me or does this sound like someone whose heart wasn't stabbed all that badly after all?

I truly believe that DeAnna fell deeply in love with him,otherwise why would a strong, independent and proud woman like her take the risk for a second rejection on national TV. Even in the mentioned article, she is still somehow leaving the door open for some kind of reconciliation. She strikes me as someone who doesn't fall in love easily and when she does she is in it 100%. I really hope that she is considered for the role of bachelorette and hopefully by then (summer) she would have moved on and is open to a new love in her life. As per Brad's own words,DeAnna deserves someone who will give it his all for her and look her in the eye and say I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you .

[Lynn7]

I don't think that at all. I think she's smart enough to know that she "will" get over the jerk and not to throw away that kind of opportunity for him especially! She knows that show isn't going to happen "tomorrow" - and SHE at least REALLY was there looking for someone to spend her life with. I think that it's wonderful that after having such a "slick" player "play" her as badly as he did - she STILL believes in "happy ever after". I, for one, still do. I believe that while the male & female of the species are inherently different in how they "see" and process their feelings - that WAY more men are looking for the same thing we are than not. They just go about it differently. I am an optimist and "want" to and "need" to believe that men like Brad are in the minority out there because I am going to want to find another man to spend my life with again too soon I hope. I am hoping that DeAnna WILL get the opportunity to be the next Bachelette. Wonder how Mr. "Wonderful" Brad will enjoy watching that???

Well, back to Thanksgiving. Hope everyone out there is having a lot of great food - and a lot of great company! I can tell from the HTD that DeAnna's family are having a blast! Can you imagine what the family of the Brad's "next" conquest will think when she brings HIM home to meet the fam???? : I bet Bettina's father will look mild in comparison!!!

I'm sure she will get over the experience with Brad. I mean, come on, she had her 'heart stabbed' per her own words just a couple of days ago and now she is 'honoured' to be considered for the Bachelorette 4 or 5 days later? I thought Brad closed off emotionally, very quickly, but DeAnna seems to have processed her hurt, broken heart, 'the one person she trusted broke her heart,' very, very quickly also.

[seeker]

I don't think that at all. I think she's smart enough to know that she "will" get over the jerk and not to throw away that kind of opportunity for him especially! She knows that show isn't going to happen "tomorrow" - and SHE at least REALLY was there looking for someone to spend her life with. I think that it's wonderful that after having such a "slick" player "play" her as badly as he did - she STILL believes in "happy ever after". I, for one, still do. I believe that while the male & female of the species are inherently different in how they "see" and process their feelings - that WAY more men are looking for the same thing we are than not. They just go about it differently. I am an optimist and "want" to and "need" to believe that men like Brad are in the minority out there because I am going to want to find another man to spend my life with again too soon I hope. I am hoping that DeAnna WILL get the opportunity to be the next Bachelette. Wonder how Mr. "Wonderful" Brad will enjoy watching that???

Well, back to Thanksgiving. Hope everyone out there is having a lot of great food - and a lot of great company! I can tell from the HTD that DeAnna's family are having a blast! Can you imagine what the family of the Brad's "next" conquest will think when she brings HIM home to meet the fam???? : I bet Bettina's father will look mild in comparison!!!

JMO! But seems like Brad's intuition didn't lead him astray. He had a better read on the way the future with either of them would pan out in his heart. Jenni didn't wait long, her ex-bf picked her up at the airport after she returned from filming the show. DeAhna hadn't even get back to the hotel before she was calling Brad an "idiot". Sure her ego was hurt but she has since moved on and willing to take on the role of the Bachelorette if offered. Sure seems like both enjoyed the limelight and wouldn't hesitate to get back when they get a chance. Their choices and their lives.

If DeAhna loved Brad why was she so desperate at ATFR for him to give her a second chance? That doesn't sound like love to me. Love isn't desperate or clingy. As the saying goes "if you love someone set them free. If they belong with you they will return and if they don't then they weren't yours at all in the first place".

Seems Brad inspite of his issues did just that. It is actually commendable. He explained to her his reasons why he set her free to find the man who will love her the way she deserved to be loved (talk about being selfless in the way he loved her wanting the best for her and knowing in his heart he couldn't give that to her) he couldn't feel no matter how much he tried to muster it all and give it a shot. Each person is entitled to define how love feels for them.

Right there is an example that DeAhna didn't understand the way Brad thinks. That was pretty obvious. Even if he had given her a chance in real life after watching the edit she got on the show honestly I don't think it would have survived in the long run. He let her go instead of leading her on and having her feeling worse than crushed later on. When she is mature enough to understand that she will thank him in her heart. Life goes on for all of them.

[rileymeboy]

Here is another thing that really bothered me. His mother said to Jenni that she would be marrying the family. Well we all get that, but what I didn't like was when his mother said, "do your really understand what that means"?. We'll I don't. What does that mean? No holidays with your family.. the boys are under my thumb and control, I am the head of this household and always will be..

Then at the ATFR did you notice how they sat. Perhaps it was predetermined, but I didn't like the looks of it. Daughter-in-law, Chad, Pam, Wes, daughter-in-law. I see so many red flags, but then I'm not 25 and blinded by what I think is love.

Happy Thanksgiving everybody...off to roast a Brad...ahhh...sorry, turkey

I did not see the family at the AFRC, but, when she made that remark to Jeannie..and the manner that she did it. Sent up all kinds of red flags to me too. If, I had been Jeannie, I think I would felt like walking right then.

Just watching her personality, I felt she was controling. No wonder she was attracted to Deanna...it was familiar territory. But, in the long run, they would not have gotten along.

[rileymeboy]

Maybe Brad is one of those people who should not get married. What if 50 percent of the population actually does better in short-term relationships?

My mother told me that when she was young, if you got married, you had kids, period. Then birth control became more reliable and easier to get, and society saw a shift to smaller families and couples who chose to be childless.

I think a similar shift has happened with marriage. Premarital sex and living together are not so stigmatized anymore, and many people are choosing that instead of marriage.

IMO there's nothing wrong with people choosing serial infatuation instead of long-term relationships as long as they can handle the instabilty of that lifestyle and understand they may end up alone. (Although, from what I hear, the men in nursing homes have their pick of the ladies.)

I have highlighted what i am responding to.

If they have to wait that long, it to late to open the door...ya' think

[rileymeboy]

Good for you, glad it worked out well. But in this case, the guy is kissing how many women on this show, 15 to 25.

A lot of things Brad may or may not have been but a kisser he wasn't. I only saw one kiss that showed emotion and that was with Bettina, but, it wasn't show on the show.

[Bloomers]

So, AFTR was filmed last Friday and aired on Tuesday. Come Wednesday DeAnna is already saying she'd love to be the next Bachelorette? Is it just me or does this sound like someone whose heart wasn't stabbed all that badly after all?

Alex (B1) told Trista he was going to choose her. Does this sound anything remotely similiar in intention to "Saturday is going to be a good day"? Alex changed his mind at the very last moment and chose the other girl, Amanda.
Trista was serious about Alex at the FRC and was brokenhearted. In fact, Trista told that she had slept with Alex because of how she felt about him and because he had encouraged her.
They will play up her beauty, her heartbreak at the hands of the cad Brad, and her chance now to find true love as the Bachelorette. Win/win for them

There was a B2 show and then Trista was given the chance to be the Bachelorette where she got to do the choosing...she got to give out the roses....and she was in control of the selection. Trista was in charge of her heart instead of some guy being in control of it. Do you see the difference and where it might be an attractive proposition?

Her series is the Bachelor's ONLY success as far as a marriage, and yet we find her situation is similar to DeAnna's in several ways. The timing will be about the same.

Also, I read once that one of the reasons that they don't have more Bachelorettes is because it is difficult to find a woman who can ( for lack of a better word) "stomach" the process. It is difficult for men to reject women, but women are more tenderhearted, and it is a harder process for them to cull through and deliberately "discard" people. They said it takes a certain kind of tough personality to do this. It is tougher to find a woman who has everything that it takes to be the Bachelorette.

At first I thought they were looking at Jenni, but DeAnna's beauty and rejection by Brad, plus her inate "strongness" is making me sense that they may very well be looking at her, especially if they spent a lot of time talking with her after Brad's stunt.

[Secret]

Her series is the Bachelor's ONLY success as far as a marriage, and yet we find her situation is similar to DeAnna's in several ways. The timing will be about the same.

Also, I read once that one of the reasons that they don't have more Bachelorettes is because it is difficult to find a woman who can ( for lack of a better word) "stomach" the process. It is difficult for men to reject women, but women are more tenderhearted, and it is a harder process for them to cull through and deliberately "discard" people. They said it takes a certain kind of tough personality to do this. It is tougher to find a woman who has everything that it takes to be the Bachelorette.

At first I thought they were looking at Jenni, but DeAnna's beauty and rejection by Brad, plus her inate "strongness" is making me sense that they may very well be looking at her, especially if they spent a lot of time talking with her after Brad's stunt.

First, I've always heard that they've had trouble casting another season of the Bachelorette not because of the women - its because they can't find enough guys willing to put themselves through the show and the whole circus. I find that much more believable than women being unwilling to put themselves in the role of doing the choosing. How many former bachelorettes have said publicly that they'd jump at the opportunity?

As for the potential for Deanna as a future Bachelorette, I don't think the timing would be the same as with Trista's, but I could be wrong. Now I'm curious, so let me look around online... it looks like season 1 aired starting March 2002. Trista's show started airing January 2003. I don't know when the taping occurred for both seasons, but it seems like a much shorter gap for Deanna between seasons than there was for Trista if we assume 1) the next Bachelorette would air this summer (would have to tape sometime in the spring) and 2) the next Bachelorette would be Deanna.

If the show tapes this spring, she'd have maybe six months to get distance, closure, resolution for this life experience? Regardless of the somewhat short timeframe I personally really, really hope she doesn't do that to herself. Just my personal take.

I think Deanna could do it. She seems honest and clear about what she wants in a mate. As much as I enjoyed seeing Deanna on this season, I genuinely hope she finds someone who will make her happy and love her forever, only I hope she finds it in the normal, every day, day-to-day manner, far, far away from cameras and producers. Producers who, at the end of the day, have the bottom line as their motivation, not her best interests.