The Bachelor 11/20 Show Discussion - After The Final Rose **spoilers**

[dreamitup]

Here is another thing that really bothered me. His mother said to Jenni that she would be marrying the family. Well we all get that, but what I didn't like was when his mother said, "do your really understand what that means"?. We'll I don't. What does that mean? No holidays with your family.. the boys are under my thumb and control, I am the head of this household and always will be..

Then at the ATFR did you notice how they sat. Perhaps it was predetermined, but I didn't like the looks of it. Daughter-in-law, Chad, Pam, Wes, daughter-in-law. I see so many red flags, but then I'm not 25 and blinded by what I think is love.

Happy Thanksgiving everybody...off to roast a Brad...ahhh...sorry, turkey

[dreamitup]

Oops..turkey will have to wait until I post this rumor from the abc board which as we all know stinks..but sometime just sometimes......
Anyway for what it's worth...
Ladies I just want to clear some concern and questions for ya'll. I've been reading posts on this site or a bit now, and can tell that some people are really distraught by everything that has happened.

I have been working for the "dizzy rooster"; one of brad and brother's owned bars. I've been there now for almost one year. With the times that I have come into contact with brad, he has been very professional. Aside from that there have been numerous rumor's in and around work/Austin community for sometime. Brad has some serious issues, as he has said, and although some can quite possibly be 'just rumour's' ..it makes us all wonder. Brad has cheated on many of his girlfriends, including his most recent girlfriend. Brad cannot and probably will not commit. He claims to not be a partier and be the perfect person at work, when in actualy fact he does far more behind closed doors. He couldn't commit to the girls on the bachelor because of outside situations that he needs to work on, and probably may never. One day he may find happiness, but he has far to much history in here to be finding someone...i question if he'll ever be happy...

[Guilty Pleasure]

Anyway for what it's worth...

Maybe Brad is one of those people who should not get married. What if 50 percent of the population actually does better in short-term relationships?

My mother told me that when she was young, if you got married, you had kids, period. Then birth control became more reliable and easier to get, and society saw a shift to smaller families and couples who chose to be childless.

I think a similar shift has happened with marriage. Premarital sex and living together are not so stigmatized anymore, and many people are choosing that instead of marriage.

IMO there's nothing wrong with people choosing serial infatuation instead of long-term relationships as long as they can handle the instabilty of that lifestyle and understand they may end up alone. (Although, from what I hear, the men in nursing homes have their pick of the ladies.)

[NoMoreBS]

In response to InsideOut's ? about whether or not Brad left Deanna as the show portrayed it or what Babyface claims (it was at the beginning) - When I re-watched the show & OBVIOUSLY is holding hands with her and takes them away, says "hold on - just give me a few minutes" - and starts his panic attack. That was NOT edited. He did NOT break down BEFORE he started talking to her. Didn't anyone else see that too?? I am really enjoying so many of you here - smart, insightful and articulate. I just may have to come back here if another show ever "grabs" me. I like you guys. BTW, my "real" name is Pat - hahahhahaha! I guess I might have to come up with another name if I come back!

[rejectioncity]

I recall Brad's mother saying that he is a "black or white person." I think it does give insight into an aspect of his character that we didn't see in 43 minutes of video in each of week.

For most people, when you get past the rationalizaton process of convincing yourself that you are in love, the next step is into a world of gray where love is actually an act of faith and not of fact. Women seem much more in tune with this reality than do men. Sadly, Brad is probably typical of my gender, with both Jenni and Deanna and several other ladies seeing his potential, and finding disappointment in the realization that until he chooses to change himself, it will be potential unrealized.

[iloveshayne22]

From Deanna to Brad

Never say I love you, if you don't really care,
Never talk about feelings, if they aren't really there.
Never hold my hand, if you're going to break my heart,
Never say you're going to, if you don't plan to start.
Never look into my eyes, if all you do is lie,
Never say hello if you really mean goodbye.
If you really mean forever, then say that you will try,
Never say forever, cos forever makes me cry

[Estella]

From Deanna to Brad

Never say I love you, if you don't really care,
Never talk about feelings, if they aren't really there.
Never hold my hand, if you're going to break my heart,
Never say you're going to, if you don't plan to start.
Never look into my eyes, if all you do is lie,
Never say hello if you really mean goodbye.
If you really mean forever, then say that you will try,
Never say forever, cos forever makes me cry

This is beautiful, thank you so much for posting this!!! It actually makes me have to fight some tears back... She really deserves someone who truly loves her and doesn't stab through her heart with a dagger and turns it around! She is such a wonderful woman and she will find someone who can make her happy for the rest of her life! She deserves nothing less than that

[zen4]

This is beautiful, thank you so much for posting this!!! It actually makes me have to fight some tears back... She really deserves someone who truly loves her and doesn't stab through her heart with a dagger and turns it around! She is such a wonderful woman and she will find someone who can make her happy for the rest of her life! She deserves nothing less than that

That was beautiful indeed and it made me cry too. I hope she gets to be the bachelorette and gets to choose among 25 handsome gentlemen .

[Lynn7]

That was beautiful indeed and it made me cry too. I hope she gets to be the bachelorette and gets to choose among 25 handsome gentlemen .

So, AFTR was filmed last Friday and aired on Tuesday. Come Wednesday DeAnna is already saying she'd love to be the next Bachelorette? Is it just me or does this sound like someone whose heart wasn't stabbed all that badly after all?

[Secret]

So, AFTR was filmed last Friday and aired on Tuesday. Come Wednesday DeAnna is already saying she'd love to be the next Bachelorette? Is it just me or does this sound like someone whose heart wasn't stabbed all that badly after all?

I wouldn't necessarily reach that conclusion, Lynn. If you read the whole article, I get the impression that it's more the response of someone who has (unfortunately) been drinking deep of the "The Bachelor" as a process kool aid. She speaks in glowing terms of the producers. She was in contact with them frequently after the show finished taping, as she was watching everything play out, etc. because the producers and her father were the only people she could talk to about everything.

I actually blame them, in addition to Brad, for possibly keeping hope alive that Brad may "come to his senses" or give it another try.

She also said very clearly that she believes "the process" works - it worked for her, she fell in love with Brad, it just sucks for her that he didn't feel the same way. It sounds like she's confident it could work again, but it sounds incredibly hypothetical at this point. She still seems VERY hung up on Brad and also very hurt. I do not think she was acting.