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Thread: The Bachelor 11/20 Show Discussion - After The Final Rose **spoilers**

  1. #801
    Hopeless romantic Estella's Avatar
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    Re: The Bachelor 11/20 Show Discussion - After The Final Rose **spoilers**

    Quote Originally Posted by Dogg;2686319;
    i didn't even watch more than a couple of episodes of the show , seemed boring

    i did watch the show last nite and thought it was interesting...

    alot of women crack me up when it comes to this show... Brad didn't *LOVE* the women and let em go and people are bitching and saying he could have seen "where it went"

    on that same note, you have past bachelors giving promise-rings and choosing a women just for the sake of picking one...and once again people were bitching

    what on earth do you want

    them 2 broads got the exposure they wanted, get over it... fake dates and a month+ of isolation with any man (flavor flav for example); you'd be in love too

    I think one point is HOW he did it, cause most of us think that the way he let DeAnna go was cruel, he made so many statements that give her false hopes and he still did that at the ATFR. Another point is that quite a few of us believe that he does love DeAnna, but for some reason doesn't realize it or can't acknowledge it because he has major commitment issues.
    Many of us would probably have been ok with Brad telling DeAnna at the ATFR that he thinks she's a wonderful girl, but not the one for him, period. Leave out all the "I've been thinking about you every day" and "I'll miss you more than you'll ever know."
    Live well, laugh often, love with all your heart and as though you've never been hurt before

  2. #802
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    Re: The Bachelor 11/20 Show Discussion - After The Final Rose **spoilers**

    Quote Originally Posted by NYGal;2685482;
    He doesn't love her. That’s it – they could go around in circles all the livelong day and the answer wouldn’t change. Period.
    Thank You. Well stated. No offense to anyone, he didn't find love.

  3. #803
    FORT Fogey Cailg's Avatar
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    Re: The Bachelor 11/20 Show Discussion - After The Final Rose **spoilers**

    Quote Originally Posted by Netcam;2686346;
    She should have replied, "And I'll be thinking of you only when I'm throwing the garbage out!"

    Really, the jerk deserved to be put in his place.
    LOL

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    Decompressing Juls2's Avatar
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    Re: The Bachelor 11/20 Show Discussion - After The Final Rose **spoilers**

    Quote Originally Posted by Estella;2685694;
    Someone upthread asked what is so hard to understand about "I can't look you in your eye and tell you that I love you, so I have to say goodbye."
    Well, if it's just that statement, I guess nothing is hard to understand about it. But if you combine it with "When I first met you I told someone I was done", "the first time I kissed you I felt like I've never felt in a long time, if ever", "I can see you as a wonderful wife and mother", "you have everything I've always looked for in a woman", "when I look at you I see so many things that I never thought I could have in my life", "I care so very much about you", "I've been thinking about you every day for the last two and a half month", "I still have very deep feelings for you", "I just want to hug you" and "I'll miss you more than you'll ever know"... don't you think that's kind of confusing, to put it mildly? I don't blame DeAnna for not understanding it, because it doesn't make sense to me either! He's running away from love, and God knows why...

    Ummm ... I'd say seriously passive-aggressive behavior .... would be a disaster to be involved with a man like that ... "I don't want you ... but I want to control you like a puppet on a string" .... there's a reason this man is still single ... and for the good of all womankind - let's hope he stays single! Would hate to see a 'sister' get caught up in his sicko web.

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    Re: The Bachelor 11/20 Show Discussion - After The Final Rose **spoilers**

    Quote Originally Posted by onewally;2684987;
    It is the stalwarts like us who keep the place going through the long lonely dark night, Ihaveno. The few, the strong, the awake.
    Yep, I'm another resident insomniac... Someone's got to hold down the FORT late at night *rim shot*

    But you gave me something new to think about. I hadnt thought of Brad as so shallow and superficial, enjoying the bachelor life too much to settle down. So you think he's another Aaron Buerge, minus the charm?
    I think he and Chad are like yin and yang - Chad committed first and settled down. Brad can see what married life is like through his brother's eyes and his brother can still remember the single life through Brad's eyes. If his brother ever got into it with his wife, you can bet he'd probably say to Brad, "Dude...don't get married!" He can live vicariously through Brad.

    I see Brad as being the eternal bachelor - the kind all women are attracted to and who has been told he's such a "catch" for so many years that he thinks any woman who could possibly claim him would have to be perfect in every single way. He's a commitment-phobic who turns and runs the minute he sees a flaw. He's like a dog that chases a car and when he's got it, he doesn't know what to do with it. The bumper doesn't taste as good as he thought it would.

    I pity him more than hate him. He's too enveloped in his status as "the single one" and now he gets the permanent title of "The Bachelor" which will drive women crazy. He's a conquest now and women who don't think about his problem are going to die trying to give themselves the title of "the woman who finally captured Brad Womack's heart"...and I think he'll be loving it.

    It's a problem of having TOO high of a self-image. Jenni & Deanna noticed this too. Did you realize how much they were talking themselves up? Jenni: "I am SO worth it!" and Deanna referring to herself as the best thing that ever happened to him? Instead of just being themselves, it was like they had to keep TALKING about how great they were to convince him that they were his equal. They caught on to his mindset that he was perfection seeking perfection and he sold it well. I think Deanna secretly has a much lower self esteem than Jenni does (as women that come off as catty typically do) so it affected her more strongly. It affects even women with high self esteems when they get rejected like this, but they usually move on much, much faster.

    So what do you think, would Deanna make a good bachelorette? I think she would, actually, she's egotistical and controlling and tough. On the other hand, maybe she's too dour and dark to hold our interest. You just dont get the feeling that Deanna's ever happy-her expressions are always tense and grim when she's in the background.
    I think she would definitely DO it if she was asked...because now she's got something to prove (to Brad). Years later and I'm still angry at the "perfect package" guys who led me on and then dumped me, though at least I know now that these guys will never be changed and if they do settle, they'll never be happy anyway. It sticks with you no matter how long you don't want it to in the form of the question: "What's wrong with me?!"

    I agree with you - she would make a good bachelorette because it's her fantasy...just her, no other women, and a roomful of guys. You saw how she could be with Brad - just charming. However, when she's around anyone else, she comes off as snobbish and egotistical. I loved Trista Rehn because she was so sweet, real, down-to-earth and she struck a good chord with women as well as men. I think Jenni has a lot of the same qualities as Trista (and not just being a professional dancer). If Jenni got better at perfecting her public image (speaking more eloquently, less giggling), she'd be irresistable. Honestly, I think Deanna acts the way she acts because she has a low self esteem. We actually saw her CHANGE as the show went on...she got a lot nicer when it seemed like Brad saw something in her that made her special. She was even being sweet about Jenni. Then, he turned her down and she turned into a mess...only now she could BOND with Jenni because neither of them got the man. I hope they become good friends and Deanna learns that sometimes a woman's best ally is another woman. I hate it when women have to look at all other women as the enemy...but at the same time, I reach out to women like that. They act that way because they are scared. Just primitive female instinct that we all must learn to overcome to function as more likeable members of society. It's hard to learn that not all women are "out to get us".

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    Re: The Bachelor 11/20 Show Discussion - After The Final Rose **spoilers**

    Quote Originally Posted by Minney;2685156;
    Note for future seasons... IF Chris is MIA, there is a reason! Next time I am going to watch for CH interviews, articles and snark. I think he tends to give away the biggest clues of any of them as to the ending of a season. When CH is missing, then the ending is askew too!
    I saw Chris on some radio TV show on the E! network and they were grilling him on what he thought about the new bachelor. Chris was laughing and saying, "Oh man...BEST bachelor EVER!!!" and he sounded really sarcastic. They asked him who the worst bachelor ever was and he said Lorenzo. He was making fun of the guy and saying, "Honestly, couldn't we do any better than that?" It sounds like Chris was actually amused by what happened.

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    Re: The Bachelor 11/20 Show Discussion - After The Final Rose **spoilers**

    Quote Originally Posted by memorylane;2685362;
    I suppose eveything on the show was heavily edited. I didn't care for Jade but the look on her face showed her dislike for Deanna and Deanna DID try to one-up Jade every chance she got. Deanna came across as desperate in my opinion.

    I did not see the independent woman that other people saw. I saw a control freak who wanted her way and had a picture in her mind of what a perfect life should be...

    I think that she was living as much of a fantasy as Brad was and that she will realize that she was not really in love with him, just the idea of him. The same goes for Brad toward the entire process. They were both trying too hard.

    The concept of happily ever after was there but not the reality.
    You hit it ALL on the head with that post. I don't hate Deanna, but she's got issues. I was her years ago...in love with this highly-educated competitive bodybuilder who had been scouted for 'Baywatch' of all things. He made great money and knew EXACTLY what he wanted. I responded to his personal ad because he physically described me: blonde hair, blue eyes, fitness body, etc. I was thinking "fate" and he was thinking he was ordering off a menu.

    I went around acting like I was perfect to please him. I bragged about myself and how great I was constantly...not because I REALLY felt that way about myself, but because I was still living in Lala land thinking he was a conquest...if I could make THIS man love me, then I would be just as good as he was. I would finally be worth something.

    He would push me away and be cruel to me and say nasty things. I would come running back with this really sad, "I'll show him!" mentality. It sickens me to think of who I was turning into...I was making myself shallow trying to be perfect just like him because I wanted to think I was worthy of him. I should list some of the comments he said to me. People would then see just what a psychological hold these types of men can have on you. I eventually started regaining my self esteem and broke it off with him by announcing I was moving 2,500 miles away...would you believe he showed up on my doorstep the night before I was to leave and THEN proposed???

    I told him no. Thank God. But would you believe that some days I still think about him and still feel the sting of his back-handed comments? It stays with you forever, I guess.

  8. #808
    Anything is Possible dreamitup's Avatar
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    Re: The Bachelor 11/20 Show Discussion - After The Final Rose **spoilers**

    Quote Originally Posted by smartycat;2685256;
    I just now got a chance to watch this and I wanted to post my thoughts before reading what everyone else had to say...

    My thought...

    G-A-Y

    The whole he loves her, can't stop thinking about her, but there is just this something missing that he can't explain to the world.... he like dudes. He was probably more excited to see Ryan than DeAnna. Maybe he fell in love with a cameraman or producer. And I am not being glib. I have seen other friends go through this... they date the perfect person of the opposite gender and yet there is just this something missing.... and it is that they are gay. Thats all I kept thinking watching his whole interaction with Deanna.

    Now off to see what others have to say...
    You may have something there...still in the closet perhaps. He probably would make a "good friend" to these women.

  9. #809
    Anything is Possible dreamitup's Avatar
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    Re: The Bachelor 11/20 Show Discussion - After The Final Rose **spoilers**

    Maybe Fleiss had something there when he wanted to show Brad sitting on the couch eating a sub and watching a game. I think Fleiss did feel sorry for the girls and wanted to portray Brad for the cad he is. Not the idiot bachelor with the weird look in this eyes sitting on a podium. That look came across exceeding clear to me in ATFR. That deer in the headlights look was never more pronounced. It was a look of, like he's, just left the room, look. A protection of sorts.

  10. #810
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    Re: The Bachelor 11/20 Show Discussion - After The Final Rose **spoilers**

    Quote Originally Posted by RandalR;2686230;
    Brad sitting on the couch by himself, eating a sub sandwich and watching football. Actually, I would have laughed pretty hard at that. And so would most of a typical reality TV audience, no matter how much it would have offended romance fans on FORT. To me, it wouldn't have been mocking Jenni and DeAnna but mocking Brad and his attitude toward the process.
    I absolutely agree! And the subtitle could be something like "Portrait of a Tool" or "Where Brad Will Be 5/10/15/20/Etc. Years from Now". It would have been totally a statement about Brad, not anyone else. I wish Fleiss had been able to show it.

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