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Thread: Final Thoughts on Bachelor 11

  1. #41
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    Re: Final Thoughts on Bachelor 11

    Quote Originally Posted by appiah01;2687140;
    I actually don't think that is what she is saying. Yes women are extremely competitive by nature probably even more so, and more viciously so, than men. However when it comes to competing for a man the methods of effective competition are different. There is a reason why The Rules actually worked (at least in attracting men). There is a reason that playing hard to get is effective, why withholding a bit actually pulls a man in and intrigues him. Those actions are no less competitive (think about Bettina playing the role of the woman of mystery in the house. Got her very far even though she really isn't that mysterious). Other women recognize this competitive behavior and recognize that often it is a game and not the actual nature of the woman. However to a man it appeals to their desire for conquest and makes them feel they are winning something. A man needs to feel like he is working for something. It sounds very arcane but I really believe it is true. I truly believe that male/ female nature has not changed all that much despite shifts in sociocultural norms.
    As a Christian, I too have a very conservative background, and I believe in the roles God assigns to the man and woman. But that view does not lead to support for the theory of the male liking the challenge of the chase in the relationship and the female playing hard to get/mysterious. (Recall the biblical examples of Ruth and Esther that did not fit that pattern.)

    I especially don't like stereotypes.

    I have been married for 33 years, and did not feel the need to hide my interest while dating. In fact, I felt it was important to open up and share thoughts and feelings to see whether we were right for each other.

    Having said that, I don't know how much of this applies to the unrealistic situation set up for this "reality" show, but do think it is the same for a Bachelor or Bachelorette.

  2. #42
    Hopeless romantic Estella's Avatar
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    Re: Final Thoughts on Bachelor 11

    Quote Originally Posted by babyfaceC;2687162;
    So should he be with DeAnna because she is a great girl and has all the qualities he can see himself with or should he wait til he's in love. Maybe the successfully married FORTers should answer that. I'm thinking the butterflies associated with love are more important than someone fitting a an ideal mold
    Thanks for responding, Jason... and NO, he should not be with DeAnna just because she is a great girl etc. But if it is so extremely important to him that the girl he's with gives him butterflies and he really didn't get them with her, than he wasn't honest when he said that DeAnna had EVERYTHING he's ever looked for in a woman, cause everything would include those butterflies. On the other hand, if DeAnna really does have everything, then she gave him butterflies as well, and then saying that she didn't was a lame excuse for his commitment issues. You can turn it around as much as you want, but something will always seem wrong here.
    And since somebody else said that Brad is dissed for sending both girls home, NO, he isn't dissed for THAT! He is dissed for sending DeAnna home and not letting her let go at the same time...
    Last edited by Marleybone; 11-23-2007 at 10:09 AM.
    Live well, laugh often, love with all your heart and as though you've never been hurt before

  3. #43
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    Re: Final Thoughts on Bachelor 11

    Babyface I have a question?? I believe you mentioned in one of these threads here somewhere that Brad has talked to Deanna & Jenni since the ATFRC. My question is why do you think Denanna has said in her interview they have not talked??

    Word is Solisa is having some of the girls for a reunion party in DEC. I`m hoping Chuggin Monkey is ready to have the girls show up & have some fun & also that pics can be posted on your site!!
    Last edited by intheblind; 11-22-2007 at 01:15 PM.

  4. #44
    FORT Newbie Flo Jo's Avatar
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    Re: Final Thoughts on Bachelor 11

    Did anyone see Brad on Jimmy Kimmel last night? I caught the last two minutes of the show while the musical guest was performing but they did show Brad sitting in the guest's chair.

  5. #45
    ♥Ali♥Gia♥Rozlyn♥ OutsideLookinIn's Avatar
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    Re: Final Thoughts on Bachelor 11

    Quote Originally Posted by intheblind;2687334;
    Babyface I have a question?? I believe you mentioned in one of these threads here somewhere that Brad has talked to Deanna & Jenni since the ATFRC. My question is why do you think Denanna has said in her interview they have not talked??

    Word is Solisa is having some of the girls for a reunion party in DEC. I`m hoping Chuggin Monkey is ready to have the girls show up & have some fun & also that pics can be posted on your site!!
    Babyfacec, just in case they DO drop-by, kindly post some pics in your website or at the Chuggin' Monkey... We would love to see how the girls are doing by December (and Brad to) . Thanks in advance!

  6. #46
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    Re: Final Thoughts on Bachelor 11

    Quote Originally Posted by Flo Jo;2687405;
    Did anyone see Brad on Jimmy Kimmel last night? I caught the last two minutes of the show while the musical guest was performing but they did show Brad sitting in the guest's chair.
    Yes it was a re-run. I think you can see it on YouTube.

  7. #47
    FORT Fanatic momsunshine's Avatar
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    Re: Final Thoughts on Bachelor 11

    I don't think I can fault Brad for flying family in if the producers had anything to do with it. We don't know how much stress these people are under.

  8. #48
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    Re: Final Thoughts on Bachelor 11

    In my humble opinion, Jenni and Deanna are victims of what a lot of women deal with in real life. You meet what you percieve as a "great guy", he practically BEGS you to open your heart and feelings to him, and even to VERBALIZE those feelings. So you do. BAM!! All the challenge for him is gone. He starts to wax nostalgic for an old flame who still resides in a special place in his heart. Probably because she dumped his butt. The old unrequited love thing. All men (and many women ) want a challenge, and these two deserving vic... I mean women.... erased all of the challenge by making it crystal clear to him that they wanted to be his future wife. Now, that should not be a bad thing. In fact, I applaud them for putting their hearts on the line for a chance at true love. But, the formula that is "The Bachelor" has been proven to fail, time and time again. Because to most men, when love is offered up in multiple "sure things", the only thing that is sure is that ultimately the bachelor will bail.
    (posted this in the wrong thread first)
    Go Tigers!

  9. #49
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    Re: Final Thoughts on Bachelor 11

    I can understand why some people disagree with me. Personally, I'd LOVE for all the stereotypes to be "mostly false." But I base my assertions on what I've observed in over 16 years of practising as a licensed marriage and family therapist. Men will respect and value what they've had to work for - far more than they'll value what has come easily. That's true for ALL humans, to a degree, but it's far more true for men when it comes to romance.

    This show makes for some interesting entertainment, but plucking an accomplished, desirable man out of obscurity and creating a situation where 25 beautiful women are all throwing themselves at him to compete for his attention...it'd be a miracle if he could maintain a realistic sense of himself. And even more of a miracle if he could actually fall in love with one of those women deeply enough to take the plunge and marry her.

  10. #50
    FORT Fogey
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    Re: Final Thoughts on Bachelor 11

    Quote Originally Posted by Estella;2687326;

    Thanks for responding, Jason... and NO, he should not be with DeAnna just because she is a great girl etc. But if it is so extremely important to him that the girl he's with gives him butterflies and he really didn't get them with her, than he wasn't honest when he said that DeAnna had EVERYTHING he's ever looked for in a woman, cause everything would include those butterflies. On the other hand, if DeAnna really does have everything, then she gave him butterflies as well, and then saying that she didn't was a lame excuse for his commitment issues. You can turn it around as much as you want, but something will always seem wrong here.
    And since somebody else said that Brad is dissed for sending both girls home, NO, he isn't dissed for THAT! He is dissed for sending DeAnna home and not letting her let go at the same time...
    Didn't Brad say the same thing to Bettina on the sailing date "you have everything I am looking for, you are perfect.....". Maybe this was part of the script the producers gave him that he used. This season has been so spliced, diced, skinned it's hard to believe anything other than what we see them say face to face on camera. Even then some of the convos. didn't make any sense the way it was put together. Example: Though Bettina was credited with saying the two four letter words turns out that it was DeAhna who actually said it and Bettina repeated it in a questioning tone. It's a scripted reality show let's not forget it. In the end all of them are victims of editing that was done with an attempt to tell a story just turned out to be an unpopular one for most viewers.
    Last edited by Marleybone; 11-23-2007 at 10:19 AM. Reason: edited quote

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