As you recall, last week the final four ladies, Jenni, Sheena, DeAnna and Bettina, took Befuddled Bachelor Brad home to meet the folks. He was summarily questioned, revered, wined and dined then barely tolerated by one insolent group in particular - yes, I’m looking at you, Bettina’s family. But in a knuckle-headed move, Brad decided it is much better to be faced with possible in-laws who will hate you until the day you die, than possible in-laws who are astrology-obsessed lunatics. So Sheena was sent packing and this week the love story heats up as the remaining three relationships progress to
shacking upovernight fantasy dates in Cabo San Lucas. Booyah!
Is That a Card in Your Pocket, or are You Just Happy to See Me?
Brad recalls giving Jenni the First Impression Rose the night they met, and today he says he’s looking forward to giving her the First Impression Stem (if you know what I mean *nudge nudge*) because they’ll be spending the night together. Note: I may have paraphrased the previous sentence just a teeny bit. Jenni runs into Brad’s arms, and they greet each other with hugs and smiles. He informs her they’ll be swimming with dolphins which causes a “grrrr” to emanate from my lips because I would so love to do this. But Jenni is nervous about the adventure and balks when she sees a tank filled with dolphins. Brad promises to protect her and says he won’t let their day turn into When Dolphins Attack, hee. They slip into swimsuits and life vests, and once they enter the tank with one dolphin, Jenni immediately begins squealing in such a high-pitched manner, I’m sure the intelligent dolphin must be working overtime trying to decipher her dialect. The three play together, with the dolphin sharing kisses and even dancing with Jenni. Leave it to Jenni - she can dance anywhere - land or sea, with anything - it doesn’t matter. Jenni and Brad then take turns riding on the dolphin’s dorsal fin but soon enough it becomes apparent they’d rather concentrate on each other. Brad tells us they have an understanding that they’re attracted to each other, but he also knows a true relationship is so much more than that. You’re damn right, Bradmeister. There are a lot of important issues to sort through like who’s going to take the trash out and does the toilet paper go over the roll or under? And that’s just for starters.
They change back into their street clothes and as they settle into a comfortable conversation assisted by wine, Brad questions Jenni about what she’d like to see happen between them. After much hesitation she admits it’s difficult for her to express her feelings because she fears she’ll be setting herself up for a bigger disappointment. Brad doesn’t understand why she’s being reserved which stuns me. How can he NOT appreciate that anyone who has watched this show is aware of the horror of laying their heart out on the line, only to be have it smashed into a thousand little pieces in front of the world. He says he’d be forthright about his feelings because he’d want the other person to know what he’s thinking, but I’m not so sure. One way of conversing that they have perfected, is kissing and they revert back to what they know. Fortunately for us, it’s just in time for a commercial. How about that for timing?
As Brad waits for Jenni to join him for dinner he makes no bones (heheh) about the Fantasy Suite being an invitation for her to spend the night with him. Remember the good old days when there was a somewhat mysterious did-they or didn’t-they air about the Fantasy Suite? Well, not this season. Fleiss is throwing all caution to the wind, and not even bothering with the fake, dreamlike romance. Tonight’s show is clearly all about the sex. Brad says he would love to spend the night with Jenni and “get to know her in that way.” He says he’ll be “anxiously awaiting her reaction” to the overnight invitation. I’ll bet.
Obviously Brad isn’t the only one who’s anxious about getting down to business because tonight’s show is moving briskly along. By the time we catch up with them again, the sun has set, dinner has been eaten and by jove, talk has become serious…well, The Bachelor kind of serious anyway. The Bradster, with the vocabulary of a twelve-year-old boy, lets her know he appreciates that she’s “different in a really, really special way.” He thanks her for being her and she says her feelings for him are strong, but adds since she has trouble expressing herself in words, she’d prefer to show him how she feels. He says this is a big step for him. He fumbles for words, and when he takes a deep breath, she gets right to the point and asks what’s in his pocket. Booyah! Of course we professional Bachelor fans know exactly what’s in his pocket - well besides the obvious, heheh - it’s the Fantasy Suite note. They don’t even read it, but toss it aside and immediately head out of the restaurant. But just in case there’s someone out in tv land who doesn’t have a clue what’s going on, Jenni explains that when a man and a woman are extremely attracted to each other, certain “things” happen. Which is another reason I’m grateful the cameraman keeps the lens focused on their faces, heh.
The Fantasy Suite is awash in 2,000 lit candles as usual. By the way, does someone stay up all night on Fire Watch to make sure their room doesn’t go up in flames? Am I the only one who thinks like this? Please say no. Our two lovebirds lay down on the bed holding hands and kissing. Brad tells us they “get” each other and they continue to “grow together which feels good.” I’ll bet it does, heheh. She caresses his face and says he’s the man she’s dreamed about. She truly feels she is here because she was meant to meet him. They lovingly kiss each other, then Brad gets up to close the door. This time I’m grateful his shirt is untucked and hanging down past his zipper.
Who’s Next for Sex?
Although last night with Jenni was incredible and amazing (drink!) The Bradmeister knows he must keep an open mind about Bettina. In other words, he’d like to see if he can woo her into the Fantasy Suite also. She greets him with a big smile and they hug. But I’ve got bells going off in my head because the first words out of his mouth at seeing her is not how fabulous she looks or how much he missed her. He's jazzed up about how terrific it will be spending the day on a boat from the America’s Cup race. He tells us he’s hoping to see the true woman in her today, and given that there’s an entire crew onboard to sail the boat, I’m guessing they’ll be hoping to see the true woman in her, too. She tells us privately that she’s really into Brad and thinks he’s very attractive. Then with about twelve pairs of eyes staring at her, Bettina and Brad strip down to their bathing suits, dive off the boat and head to a private little beach. The camera pans up and down Bettina’s glorious body and I’m sure somewhere in Washington D.C., Dad is glowering at the television, which brings me immense joy because I’m evil like that.
With a strange modified song that sounds alarmingly like Evil Woman playing in the background, their date fast-forwards to sundown and dinner. With the Fantasy Suite card burning a hole in Brad’s pocket, he says Bettina is “super hot,” but he’s hoping to find out tonight if they share a relationship. Shortly after they’re seated, Bettina addresses the problems they’ve had with her family. She states that her family’s only concern was that she seemed to be falling in love with Brad, but they weren't sure he felt the same about her. Yeah, riiight. Does anyone believe that for one minute? I didn’t think so. It looks like Brad doesn’t believe it either, and he reminds her that he spent the entire visit trying to convince them of his worth. She says she doesn’t want him to ever feel like that again, but when he asks how her family would feel if she were to move to Austin, she admits they wouldn’t be happy about it. She assures him she would move anyway because it would be amazing (drink!). Ha. It would only be amazing if she relishes in the idea of driving Mom and Dad ballistic. That would surely make me very happy but I don't count. Brad tells us he needed to hear her say these things to him, but he’s not happy their dinner conversation revolved around her problem family. Get used to it, Buddy Boy. Take it from Auntie Roses, if you involve yourself in this family, you can expect more of the same. In one of the smoother Bachelor moves, The Bradster hopes if they can get to a less formal setting (his room) she’ll relax a little more. He hands her the Fantasy Suite card and they both laugh uncomfortably. She jumps at the chance to spend the night with Brad and I find myself grinning ear to ear at the thought of Dad ranting and raving at home. They climb into a hot tub and she tells Brad she’s very attracted to him. Brad says he feels the exact same way about her. They kiss and Bettina tells us she’s falling in love with him and even though it’s a great feeling, it also scares her to death.
One Final Sexual Overnight Date
As he’s done previously, Brad gives DeAnna a big hug and tells her how great it is to see her. Their day will be spent off-road racing in dune buggy/go-cart thingies <--- technical word and she gives Brad a run for his money, which he truly seems to enjoy.
In keeping with the let’s-get-down-to-the-business-of-sex theme of these dates, the sun has set, and Brad and DeAnna are dressed for dinner. DeAnna tells us that in a normal relationship you spend the night together, you snuggle together and wake up together and she’s very much looking forward to doing just that with Brad. He confesses to her that he doesn’t meet people like her very often, and she says the same about him. She goes on to say that she’s never felt so much for any one person so quickly before, but she’s not done, and continues by telling him that when he left her family’s house last week, he took her heart with him. He kisses her hand and she says when they’re at the next Rose Ceremony she wants him to know he has her heart. He kisses her tenderly, yet passionately, and I expect him to say “check please!” Instead he offers her the
SexFantasy card and she says she’d love to spend the night with him. They bolt from the restaurant and in voice over Brad tells us he wants to get physical with her because he’s bedded the other two, so why not? No, not really. What he does say is he wants to get physical with her because he’s developing some very serious feelings for her - he says she’s everything he’s ever looked for in a woman. He sees her as a soul mate and can envision himself spending a lifetime with her. She thinks he’s perfect for her and in her gut she’s feels it’s right. Wow. We see so little footage of their time together, especially compared to the other women, I can't help but be a little suspicious of the heavy editing hands of Fleiss. Hm...
The No-Sex, No-Chris Rose Ceremony
Brad arrives at the Rose Ceremony looking dashing in a light-colored suit with a dark shirt, but he feels sad at the thought of breaking someone’s heart tonight. The ladies are already lined up on a beautiful patio with the ocean crashing behind them. It’s a cloudy day and the wind occasionally billows their dresses in a dramatic flair. Brad greets them all and says he’s been dreading today. The first ceremony was easier because they were all strangers, but now he cares for each of them, and that makes this elimination much more difficult. I notice Chris Harrison is no where to be seen, and I wonder how in the hell everyone will know when there is only one rose remaining? I hold out hope that he’ll surprise us and jump out from the bushes at some point. The ladies take a deep breath and Brad gives the first rose to Jenni. I wait for Chris to appear, but he’s still a no show. However, somehow they’ve managed to figure out there’s only one rose remaining, and that rose goes to DeAnna, which means Bettina is going home broken hearted. Bettina stands absolutely frozen, then says goodbye to the ladies and walks over to Brad. He escorts her to a little bench and tells her saying goodbye will haunt him forever. She wants to know why she's leaving, and he says he just wasn’t sure he really knew who she was in his heart. She says if what he’s feeling for the other women is stronger, then he should go with them. Her departure was was one of the classier goodbyes we’ve witnessed, but unfortunately I can’t say I’m surprised to see her go. I honestly don’t think things would have worked out between them with her family so dead set against him as they were. Bettina’s a lovely woman and although she says she can’t imagine putting herself “out there” again, she’ll find someone who will appreciate her for who she is - I have no doubt. The bigger question is, will her dad ever be happy with a man other than her first husband? That, I'm not so sure about.
Brad rejoins the ladies and hugs DeAnna then Jenni. They toast to true love and he says he’s the luckiest guy on the planet. I’ll say. Bedding three different women in three consecutive nights - hooboy, that’s pretty damn lucky. Next week is the Women Tell All show and hot damn, it’s going to be juicy. Booyah! Would you be willing to put up with Bettina's dad? Let me know in a pm here.
A dozen roses go to ArmedNDangerous for the pictures.