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Thread: The Bachelorette Diaries - Part 4: Secret Hometown Confessions

  1. #1
    Peace MsFroggy's Avatar
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    The Bachelorette Diaries - Part 4: Secret Hometown Confessions

    We must admit that getting our hands on these super secret Bachelorette diaries was not an easy task this week. Our faithful paid spy collaborator, Mario, was stuck back in the Bachelorette mansion and all hope for getting insider information seemed lost. Moreover, Uncle Vincenzo found out about Mario's money making venture dealings with us and was surprisingly proud of his talent for extortion him. So while our fears in connection with Uncle Vincenzo's foul temper were laid to rest, we were still left with a serious problem.

    In the end, help came from an unexpected corner. It seems Uncle Vincenzo is a very well connected maffioso man and he offered to enlist the help of his people friends in exchange for twice as much money as before our friendship. This was an offer which we couldn't refuse gladly accepted. Our suspicion is that Uncle Vincenzo has friends in the hotel business, and more specifically in the housekeeping area of said business, but we have no confirmation and this is just conjecture on our part. We hope you value all that cash we laid out our efforts on your behalf.


    Bettina


    Deanna


    Jenni


    Sheena


    Disclaimer: We cannot prove with any certainty that these were in fact written by the bachelorettes. For all we know, Mario (or his Uncle Vincenzo) is also an extremely talented creative writer and cleaning pools is his day job...and a great way to keep that sexy golden tan.


    Thanks to contributing FORT writers and moderators : Yardgnome, AJane, lildago, roseskid, MsFroggy, AshleyPSU, marybethp, MotherSister, Marleybone, Mariner, speedbump, PhoneGrrrl, and Amanda.
    "Feel the sky blanket you/ With gems and rhinestones/ See the path cut by the moon/ For you to walk on" - EV

  2. #2
    FORT Fogey psucashcow's Avatar
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    Re: The Bachelorette Diaries - Part 4: Secret Hometown Confessions

    Miss Froggy, Yardgnome, AJane, lildago, roseskid, MsFroggy, AshleyPSU, marybethp, MotherSister, Marleybone, Mariner, speedbump, PhoneGrrrl, and Amanda. Stupendous job....best line...Love DD (now it stands for dumb, dumb, da, dumb)
    Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day---Harry S. Truman

  3. #3
    FORT Aficionado echo226's Avatar
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    Re: The Bachelorette Diaries - Part 4: Secret Hometown Confessions

    These are again ... oh so funny and you have, with Mario's and Uncle Vincenzo's help, of course, captured the true essence of each of the little darlings.

    Thank you ALL !
    "The way to become boring is to say everything." Voltaire

    " The greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its animals are treated. "
    Mohandas Gandhi

  4. #4
    Think Spring Arielflies's Avatar
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    Re: The Bachelorette Diaries - Part 4: Secret Hometown Confessions

    Phooey. Mario and his pecs couldn't figure out a way to traipse across the country. But, never mind, at least his proud Uncle Vicenzo found a way for those pages to magically appear here at FoRT. Thanks as always for this peek into the 'ettes true thoughts, wonderful writers - uh - I mean housecleaning services - uh - EVS.
    The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. Dorothy Parker, (attributed)

  5. #5
    FORT Fogey live4romance's Avatar
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    Re: The Bachelorette Diaries - Part 4: Secret Hometown Confessions

    Too funny, great job.

  6. #6
    FORT Fogey Add It Up Champion famita's Avatar
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    Re: The Bachelorette Diaries - Part 4: Secret Hometown Confessions

    Unfortunately, I was at work while reading these gems. My boss already doesn't like the fact that I enjoy my job. He was really frowning when I was laughing! Thanks for the great funnies!!

  7. #7
    From the corner of my eye Jewelsy's Avatar
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    Re: The Bachelorette Diaries - Part 4: Secret Hometown Confessions

    Finally catching up. LOVED the snark-filled diaries.

  8. #8
    FORT Fan mel1962's Avatar
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    Re: The Bachelorette Diaries - Part 4: Secret Hometown Confessions

    I agree, very funny!
    Be mindful of the ball that rolls in your path and the child who may be coming after it. They will not see you because their eyes are on the ball and your eyes should be on the road!

  9. #9
    FORT Newbie VinnsGirl's Avatar
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    Re: The Bachelorette Diaries - Part 4: Secret Hometown Confessions

    these letter are GREAT!!

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