The Bachelor 10/29/07 Recap: Don’t Fear the Ghouls, Fear the Families

[MotherSister]

A spookily good recap, Roses! I loved your reaming of Bettina's dad. But you especially cracked me up with this:

After dinner, Mom walks Brad over to the wash bowls and proceeds to wash his hair…vigorously. And since she’s got him held captive with a faucet running over his head, she begins to fire questions off to him. Most importantly, doesn’t he meet a lot of girls at work? He responds it’s difficult to know what some women’s intentions are, and when he’s at work, he’s working. For good measure, he adds that it’s not often you meet someone as wonderful as Jenni. Mom’s pleased and lets him get up with both ears still intact as well as whatever dignity he has left under the girly little towel sitting on his head.

Fantastic job as always.

[CAdreamin]

Hilarious recap Roses! You're the BEST!

[Cailg]

Roses, this was my absolute favorite recap!! It even surpasses Andy's freakin love story. You are brilliant!! When I saw the picture of what Jenni's house might look like, and that would explain why she didn't bring him there, I was laughing so hard my stomach ached. Then your very true comment about whether eating in the salon was a health violation, hit true for me too.

That picture of Jack Nicolson next to Bettina's snobby dad, was priceless! He does look like he could be a luny toon.

Lastly, the comment you made that you hoped Brad had taken some of their art to sell later on ebay, is still cracking me up. How the heck do you think of this stuff every week and make it funnier and funnier???

Thank you!! Carolyn

[3ggplant]

Back at the house, Mom and Brad sit alone on the couch and Mom is still rabidly talking crazy-as-a-loon-astrology-psychobabble about the stars aligning, Brad being the same sign as her husband, and something about how you can lasso the Big Dipper in the sky when you’re up there. She then goes on to say that Sheena’s The One. Mom’s not sure if Sheena is Brad’s One, but she’s The One, and furthermore, she can’t take her eyes off his eyes. Brad’s beginning to look spooked which is only appropriate since it’s almost Halloween, but Mom says “they’re ready to commit." I wait for her to add “they’re ready to commit me to an institution,” but apparently she means they’re ready to commit to marriage. Wha? She says they’re ready to walk down the aisle and be one man’s everything. She continues to ramble about how every Mom wants her daughter to be married, and says, “let’s get the ring!” She’s a fashion coordinator and promises they’ll have The. Best. Wedding. Ever! (Did Fleiss write that line for her?) Gah, I believe in signs, too, and I quickly scan the room looking for a hookah pipe, or roach clips or some other sign that she’s high on something other than life.

She greets him with a basket of peaches (cliché anyone?), and together they go to her father’s house where Brad is introduced to Dad, Brother, Sister and Stepmother. DeAnna tells us this is the first time she’s ever walked into her dad’s house proud of who is on her arm. What? What kind of scuzzo’s has she dated in the past? Wait a minute. I hit replay and notice the statement is heavily edit by the Fleissman, so who knows what she really said. She just as easily could have said, “today is the first time I’ve ever walked into my dad’s house proud to be carrying a basket of peaches on my arm surrounded by a lighting crew, boom operators, and cameramen.” Harrumph. Think they can fool us, do they?

Meanwhile Mom and Stepmom have Brad cornered in the kitchen and are questioning the way the show has the man string the ladies along. Look, we all know that’s what goes on with this show. Shouldn’t they be asking Bettina why she’d want to be on a show like this? As Brad is in mid-sentence, the women decide it’s time to take the dog outside. In the end, isn't it reassuring to know these folks still end up with pooper scoopers in their hands just like the rest of us? Heheh.

Our best witches go with you, Sheena. You’re a lovely, sweet young woman with some magnificent earrings, and you’re going to have plenty of men beating down your door. Providing you can rein in your mother, that is. That woman is daft.

OOooh, thanks for the Halloween recap! It was kinda scary to watch, but thank god for Bettina's hometown date. Otherwise the episode would be boring Oh, and thank god for Jenni's grandma, too "hit the road, jack!"

[echo226]

Your recap was a Halloween Treat better than any "fun-sized" candy bar !

I was Bothered by Bettina's Dad ... and Bewildered by Sheena's Mom ... but absolutely Bewitched by your wickedly funny recap !

Thank you ... and Happy Halloween !

[Beachmom]

I knew it would make me laugh, roseskid, but some parts were just. . !
Loved the section titles!

[QUOTE]

Witchful Thinking

A Frightfully Kooky Visit

Brad says he thinks they tried very hard to make him feel comfortable. I thought he was going to say they tried very hard to kill him because that's sure how it looked to me, heh.

I think Mom's been dipping into the spider cider. Ack.

Back at the house, Mom and Brad sit alone on the couch and Mom is still rabidly talking crazy-as-a-loon-astrology-psychobabble about the stars aligning, Brad being the same sign as her husband, and something about how you can lasso the Big Dipper in the sky when you’re up there. She then goes on to say that Sheena’s The One. Mom’s not sure if Sheena is Brad’s One, but she’s The One, and furthermore, she can’t take her eyes off his eyes. Brad’s beginning to look spooked which is only appropriate since it’s almost Halloween, but Mom says “they’re ready to commit." I wait for her to add “they’re ready to commit me to an institution,” but apparently she means they’re ready to commit to marriage. Wha? She says they’re ready to walk down the aisle and be one man’s everything. She continues to ramble about how every Mom wants her daughter to be married, and says, “let’s get the ring!” She’s a fashion coordinator and promises they’ll have The. Best. Wedding. Ever! (Did Fleiss write that line for her?) Gah, I believe in signs, too, and I quickly scan the room looking for a hookah pipe, or roach clips or some other sign that she’s high on something other than life.

Sheena and Brad hit the Jacuzzi, and she asks if her mom annoyed him. Brad says meeting her family lets him understand more about her (I'll say), and I have to admit, I’m surprised we’re not seeing the back of his head getting smaller and smaller as he bolts down the street at a fast clip. Sheena thinks he’s fit into her family quite well and thinks the visit was wonderful. Oy.


Out for Blood

Washington, D.C.
] During this visit Brad hopes Bettina will come out of her shell and that her whole family will be laughing and joking with him. Did you just feel that chill? Either a ghostly apparition just floated into the room or I do believe Mr. Foreshadowing has made an appearance and left an icy chill in the room.

Without a doubt this is The. Crappiest. Family. Visit. Ever! I wouldn’t blame Brad if he got the hell out of there, leaving them to wallow in their arrogant muck. Either that, or Brad, and Bettina’s dad, should go ahead and enter into a duel with water pistols at 30 paces and get it over with because Brad would surely soak the little vermin. Later Brad tells us that he felt like he was being severely judged - perhaps that’s because he most definitely was. Dad is not happy having Bettina choose a husband this way and I say that’s something he should take up with her, not Brad - afterall, no one put a gun to her head and told her she had to come on the show. Dad adds that her first husband was a “wonderful, wonderful man,” and I’d like to know where in the hell this great guy is.

As Brad is in mid-sentence, the women decide it’s time to take the dog outside. In the end, isn't it reassuring to know these folks still end up with pooper scoopers in their hands just like the rest of us? Heheh.

Brad and Bettina get away from the witches and warlock and she tries to explain her family’s reaction to him.

Which Witch Will it Be?

And so true about Sheena. What grace for a departing girl.

Sheena, who has never looked as beautiful as she does tonight, takes a deep breath. Brad walks her out and she compliments him on how nice he looks. He explains that she’s deserving of happiness and he wishes he was her perfect guy but he’s not. She breaks down crying, hiding her face in his shoulder, then composes herself and tells him he’s an amazing (drink!) guy - he’s the first thought she has in the morning and the last thought she has at night. Our best witches go with you, Sheena. You’re a lovely, sweet young woman with some magnificent earrings, and you’re going to have plenty of men beating down your door. Providing you can rein in your mother, that is. That woman is daft.

I also thought the picture of Jack was perfect for this!
Once again, thanks for the laughter!

[Arielflies]

BOO-ya! Roses does it again. I vizualized a cauldron filled with steaming brew and cats screeching as a writing spell was cast so snarkily over these four families. Your section titles are wonderful. How do you come up with them each week? Thank you for placing ouzo spitting humor in a faithful recap of the show.

[grandedame]

Brad’s beginning to look spooked which is only appropriate since it’s almost Halloween, but Mom says “they’re ready to commit." I wait for her to add “they’re ready to commit me to an institution,” but apparently she means they’re ready to commit to marriage. Wha? She says they’re ready to walk down the aisle and be one man’s everything.


Roses are given out as follows: DeAnna, Jenni, and...Bettina. Noooooooooo!

Sheena's mom was a howl, but yikes, Bettina's dad was ghastly. Fortunately we have your wonderful recap Roses to bring real entertainment to this nightmare of a season

[live4romance]

Wonderfully funny! Loved it. Thanks for the great morning read!

[talldede]

I love your recaps Roses! Thank you! However, it should come with a warning.......Mr. Bell and Jack next to each other, that IS scary!