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Thread: Fun with Bachelor 11

  1. #1
    All Summer-y Arielflies's Avatar
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    Fun with Bachelor 11

    WrigleyDogA2 - my welcoming gift to you is my sleuther's badge (currently hiding in a drawer.) I'm demoting myself to sleuthing intern, and interns are only allowed to carry the bedazzled pocketwatch with season timer, enhanced bachelorette display with bimbo dectector and projected Bachelor foot in mouth syndrome. Be careful when handling the sleuther's badge, though, as it is coated with a sticky substance containing the power of addiction. It is very difficult to wash off - takes months to do so - Good Luck and Welcome to the FORT.
    The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. Dorothy Parker, (attributed)

  2. #2
    Premium Member jelle's Avatar
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    Re: Bachelor Season 11 returns this fall! All speculation & spoilers go here!

    Arielflies You cannot give your badge away Didn't you read the contract? You have had it way too long and logged too many miles to transfer it now. Once you make Fogey, it is a life position Sorry There are responsibilities

    Ans since you attained super sleuther several seasons ago, there just is not a possibility of demotion :nono Sorry
    "Know that you are not the master of your days, but the pioneer of their purpose"
    "My policy: no stone throwing regardless of housing situation." moanamarie
    "well, I am on the right side of the grass." brad womack
    "Create your future.You are not a victim of the world but the hero of your own life"

  3. #3
    All Summer-y Arielflies's Avatar
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    Re: Bachelor Season 11 returns this fall! All speculation & spoilers go here!

    *leaves meditation on Bachelor and shuffles over to desk drawer*

    Dang! I flipped the sleuther's badge on top of the contract and now it is slimed with addiction power. After carefully unsticking the pages, I found what I was looking for: Part V: Section 2: Subsection 2c: Paragraph 4: Sentence 5. And I quote - "If a Sleuther (The Bachelor/ABC/Fleiss Product) finds that the addiction power has turned from red to black, s/he may enter the ranks of Snark, junior grade."

    A quick test ( a glance really) and I find that the addiction power has indeed turned from red to black.

    Sentence 6: "If s/he chooses, s/he may still make use of the bedazzled pocketwatch, using it in such manner as to assist the sleuthers if requested.

    Sentence 7: S/he is under no obligation to initiate search and/or discovery.

    *takes off reading glasses*

    Unlike the Bachelor/ette contracts, this one does provide a loophole for those whose addiction power has turned or is starting to turn to the dark side. So, with respect and honor to my sleuthing mentors and, dare I say, friends I have gone to the snark side (junior grade) while retaining the intern's bedazzled pocketwatch.
    The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. Dorothy Parker, (attributed)

  4. #4
    Premium Member jelle's Avatar
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    Re: Bachelor Season 11 returns this fall! All speculation & spoilers go here!

    Dang ... It is the good ones who always find that loophole.

    To good friends and great sleuthers - whether self-demoted or not
    "Know that you are not the master of your days, but the pioneer of their purpose"
    "My policy: no stone throwing regardless of housing situation." moanamarie
    "well, I am on the right side of the grass." brad womack
    "Create your future.You are not a victim of the world but the hero of your own life"

  5. #5
    FORT Fogey live4romance's Avatar
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    Re: Bachelor Season 11 returns this fall! All speculation & spoilers go here!

    OMG Ariel you are just too funny! But if your snark is as good as your sleuthing we're gonna be in good shape, keep the good laughs coming.
    Just remember that once a sleuth, always a sleuth. Hopefully you can help out that way too.

  6. #6
    Navy/Air Force Mom koolangel's Avatar
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    Re: Bachelor Season 11 returns this fall! All speculation & spoilers go here!

    Thanks, Ariel! I laughed all the way to the coffee machine, that made my morning. . I'm looking forward to your view of this season.

  7. #7
    FORT fogey Lellis819's Avatar
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    Re: Bachelor Season 11 returns this fall! All speculation & spoilers go here!

    Arielflies: According to the term addiction, you must seek help. That means completeing the 12 step program, which to date has not been part of your record! You must first complete all of the 12 steps before you are deemed healthy enough to give up the badge.:nono We will not let you open that drawer until all steps are done in order!
    Step 1: Swear off The Bachelor program in it's entirety
    Step 2: Show no interest in fleiss' editing process!
    Step 3: Watch no Bachelor commericals!
    Step 4: Only visit DWTS Fort board
    Step 5: Make ammends for past sluething.
    Step 6: Change flower preference from roses to Daisies!
    Step 7: REfrain from any drinking jokes.
    Step 8: Write a personal note to all FORT family explaining your curious decision.
    Step 9: Attend weekly meetings of Reality tv anonymous on all nights reality tv shows are on air!
    Step 10: Seek help from the FORT pros i.e. Blondie, etc.
    Step 11: :nono refrain from posting any mildly amusing quips.
    Step 12: Admit to being a hopeless romantic and swear off any romantic encounters of ANY kind!
    IMHO- most of these steps can not be completed which leaves you SOL! Sorry!
    To be a Fly on the wall! Seek and ye shall find!

  8. #8
    All Summer-y Arielflies's Avatar
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    Re: Bachelor Season 11 returns this fall! All speculation & spoilers go here!

    ARGHHH!!!!

    Stumbled at Step 1! No hope of even crawling to Step 2.

    Blast-it, Lellis-819, you have found my weakness, contract or no contract.

    The addiction power, alas, seeped into my skin long ago; and though it has turned black, I cannot give up this show...I must have it, I must. But, this year, I'm in serious training with the snarks. I'm determined to earn the Brave Snarkster badge. No electric blue eyes are going to sway me from my course of posting that 1 + 1 equals 3 and not 2 as is thought. This year I'm determined...the rose wrangler will be my favorite person on the show and I will critique his arrangement to death. So, take that, steamy bachelor and hot babes (nice or not).
    The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. Dorothy Parker, (attributed)

  9. #9
    His Peace after the Storm cafegirl's Avatar
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    Re: Bachelor Season 11 returns this fall! All speculation & spoilers go here!

    Quote Originally Posted by Arielflies;2557512;
    ARGHHH!!!!

    Stumbled at Step 1! No hope of even crawling to Step 2.

    Blast-it, Lellis-819, you have found my weakness, contract or no contract.

    The addiction power, alas, seeped into my skin long ago; and though it has turned black, I cannot give up this show...I must have it, I must. But, this year, I'm in serious training with the snarks. I'm determined to earn the Brave Snarkster badge. No electric blue eyes are going to sway me from my course of posting that 1 + 1 equals 3 and not 2 as is thought. This year I'm determined...the rose wrangler will be my favorite person on the show and I will critique his arrangement to death. So, take that, steamy bachelor and hot babes (nice or not).
    My Friend, Ariel, you know you can't give it (sleuthing) up completely. It infiltrates the blood system like a plague and once there, I see no cure, but there is that happy balance of Sleuthing and Snarking or Sleuthing to Snark or Snarking what we Sleuth. I tend to grab the happy medium these days, because, I've tried going 'cold turkey' with a self imposed sleuthing bann, but the next thing you know, I'm googling the Bachelor or sneaking into The Star or National Enquirer websites just to see what smut I can uncover!! You, know I've been the fanatic of all sleuthers at one point, but now I'm in the Card-carrying Bachelor Sleuther semi-remission programs and can enjoy them both!!

    And just to prove my point, that I've straddled the Sleuth/Snark fence, I'll start this season off with a mediocre "Fun with the Bachelor" Ken addition Snark poster!! (sorry, Mods, when we start the Fun thread, maybe you can move this over, but I wanted to justify my point --- whatever that is?? ) .

    To all Brad loyal family and friends........... remember We love to have FUN with this show, so don't take any of the Fun stuff personally!
    I've titled this Malibu Brad's Final three!!
    "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me!"

  10. #10
    WOO~HOO!!!!!! hayleysmommy's Avatar
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    Re: Bachelor Season 11 returns this fall! All speculation & spoilers go here!

    Quote Originally Posted by cafegirl;2558134;
    My Friend, Ariel, you know you can't give it (sleuthing) up completely. It infiltrates the blood system like a plague and once there, I see no cure, but there is that happy balance of Sleuthing and Snarking or Sleuthing to Snark or Snarking what we Sleuth. I tend to grab the happy medium these days, because, I've tried going 'cold turkey' with a self imposed sleuthing bann, but the next thing you know, I'm googling the Bachelor or sneaking into The Star or National Enquirer websites just to see what smut I can uncover!! You, know I've been the fanatic of all sleuthers at one point, but now I'm in the Card-carrying Bachelor Sleuther semi-remission programs and can enjoy them both!!

    And just to prove my point, that I've straddled the Sleuth/Snark fence, I'll start this season off with a mediocre "Fun with the Bachelor" Ken addition Snark poster!! (sorry, Mods, when we start the Fun thread, maybe you can move this over, but I wanted to justify my point --- whatever that is?? ) .

    To all Brad loyal family and friends........... remember We love to have FUN with this show, so don't take any of the Fun stuff personally!
    I've titled this Malibu Brad's Final three!!
    BRILLIANT!!!!
    I love it.. very clever!!
    "Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it!"

    Lily Tomlin

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