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Thread: Tessa - Bachelor 10

  1. #1001
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    Re: Tessa - Bachelor 10

    Quote Originally Posted by grneyedgirl;2419978;
    I can say that I work with doctors day in and day out and I have never seen one comfort a patient by touching their leg.
    Bevin is not Andy's patient. The physician's in your group have not (presumably) been seriously dating any of their patients. The relationship between Andy and Bevin is personal, whereas the relationship between the physicians to whom you refer and their patients is professional.

    There is really nothing to be found in trying to look at Andy and Bevin through the eyes of a patient-doctor relationship other than this: As a physician, he has a comfort level with touching people. His treatment of Bevin suggests nothing about how he treats patients other than that one thing.

  2. #1002
    FORT Fogey grneyedgirl's Avatar
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    Re: Tessa - Bachelor 10

    I stated that I didn't know why Andy felt the need to comfort Bevin by touching her leg. I recognize that it was probably to comfort her. But given the situation, I personally don't know why he would choose that way.

    That is all that I am saying.






    Quote Originally Posted by grneyedgirl;2419978;
    I can't say why Andy felt the need to comfort Bevin by touching her leg.

    I can say that I work with doctors day in and day out and I have never seen one comfort a patient by touching their leg.

    The times that I have seen a physician comfort a patient with physical touch, it is a gentle pat on the shoulder.

    I don't think that doctors want to put themselves in a position that someone could possibly claim sexual harrassment and sue them.

  3. #1003
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    Re: Tessa - Bachelor 10

    Quote Originally Posted by grneyedgirl;2419991;
    I stated that I didn't know why Andy felt the need to comfort Bevin by touching her leg.
    Again, the answer is that he is a physical person. This is how he communicates. He is comfortable touching people. That's fundamental to who he is, and part of why he would choose the profession he chose.

    We saw this throughout the show. Whenever he didn't know what to say....he started kissing.

  4. #1004
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    Re: Tessa - Bachelor 10

    Quote Originally Posted by grneyedgirl;2419991;
    I stated that I didn't know why Andy felt the need to comfort Bevin by touching her leg. I recognize that it was probably to comfort her. But given the situation, I personally don't know why he would choose that way.

    That is all that I am saying.
    But Andy is a physician, he can't take that aspect out of his character because that he who he is, so the touchy /feely part of him can go to being in his chosen field and that's not a bad thing either, that is just who he is.. I am in the medical field and I am very touchy/feely but I reserve the special touches for the one I love. People are different some touch and others don't..

  5. #1005
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    Re: Tessa - Bachelor 10

    Quote Originally Posted by luvlady345;2419996;
    But Andy is a physician, he can't take that aspect out of his character because that he who he is, so the touchy /feely part of him can go to being in his chosen field and that's not a bad thing either, that is just who he is.. I am in the medical field and I am very touchy/feely but I reserve the special touches for the one I love. People are different some touch and others don't..
    People fall into one of three different learning styles: visual, auditory or kinesthetic. Andy is clearly kinesthetic - touching is just the way he commuicates and learns about people. Many women are auditory - many men are visual, which is what leads to all of those stereotypical "Why don't you listen?/Why don't you see?" arguments.

    An auditory or visual person who doesn't understand kinesthetic people will often look at an example like Andy touching Bevin's knee and read into it all kinds of ulterior motives, because they would choose to communicate differently in that situation. That was his way of saying "I'm sorry, Bev," but many auditory fans watching at home are screaming at the TV: "Why doesn't he say he's sorry instead of groping her???" It's hard to explain to them that he is doing just that.

  6. #1006
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    Re: Tessa - Bachelor 10

    Quote Originally Posted by RandalR;2420076;
    People fall into one of three different learning styles: visual, auditory or kinesthetic. Andy is clearly kinesthetic - touching is just the way he commuicates and learns about people. Many women are auditory - many men are visual, which is what leads to all of those stereotypical "Why don't you listen?/Why don't you see?" arguments.

    An auditory or visual person who doesn't understand kinesthetic people will often look at an example like Andy touching Bevin's knee and read into it all kinds of ulterior motives, because they would choose to communicate differently in that situation. That was his way of saying "I'm sorry, Bev," but many auditory fans watching at home are screaming at the TV: "Why doesn't he say he's sorry instead of groping her???" It's hard to explain to them that he is doing just that.
    This is true! There is actually a psychological test that can determine one's modality. I took this kind of test before and I found out that I was a visual then auditory then tactile. We all have the 3 modalities but in varying levels. Obviously Andy is tactile, I wonder what Tessa's is. But I will make a wide guess that being tactile is high up there too since she is pretty comfortable showing him some affection although not in the same degree as Andy.

  7. #1007
    Premium Member pajamasam's Avatar
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    Re: Tessa - Bachelor 10

    randal Thank you for explaining this so well. YOur post about different communication styles is a prime example of why I love this board. I knew about these styles of learning, but forgot that logically they way you learn also applies to the way you communicate. Makes total sense.

  8. #1008
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    Re: Tessa - Bachelor 10

    Quote Originally Posted by RandalR;2420076;
    People fall into one of three different learning styles: visual, auditory or kinesthetic. Andy is clearly kinesthetic - touching is just the way he commuicates and learns about people. Many women are auditory - many men are visual, which is what leads to all of those stereotypical "Why don't you listen?/Why don't you see?" arguments.

    An auditory or visual person who doesn't understand kinesthetic people will often look at an example like Andy touching Bevin's knee and read into it all kinds of ulterior motives, because they would choose to communicate differently in that situation. That was his way of saying "I'm sorry, Bev," but many auditory fans watching at home are screaming at the TV: "Why doesn't he say he's sorry instead of groping her???" It's hard to explain to them that he is doing just that.
    Wow! Great post. My sister who is a teacher has talked to me about these different learning styles. I never thought to associate it with communicating styles also but it sure makes a lot of sense.

  9. #1009
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    Re: Tessa - Bachelor 10

    Quote Originally Posted by DontStopBlievin;2419989;
    Bevin is not Andy's patient. The physician's in your group have not (presumably) been seriously dating any of their patients. The relationship between Andy and Bevin is personal, whereas the relationship between the physicians to whom you refer and their patients is professional.

    There is really nothing to be found in trying to look at Andy and Bevin through the eyes of a patient-doctor relationship other than this: As a physician, he has a comfort level with touching people. His treatment of Bevin suggests nothing about how he treats patients other than that one thing.
    Please folks. Andy said that Bevin had a fracture on the show. Bevin said that indeed it was a fracture on the reunion show. So they exchange was about that.

  10. #1010
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    Re: Tessa - Bachelor 10

    I believe one should regard the whole picture in an objective way as to what Andys feelings and intentions were.He is on national TV with a scruntinizing viewing audience.So I do not think touching her leg was done with a sexually motivated intention. He obviously cares for her and feels badly that he hurt her.He wants to comfort her,that was his intention. She did not take his physical contact as groping her.
    I know alot of people that will hug you,give you a kiss on the cheek,and even tell you they Love you when greeting someone or saying goodbye. These individuals I know seem very comfortable with this.I think because they try to be "Spiritually Evolved",and spread loving thoughts. Personally I take saying "I love you " very seriously.I usually reserve these words for those I truly love. And I feel some what bothered by the people I know that tell me love you when I do not feel they are that well acquainted with me.
    My ex-husband is like Andy in that he was touchy ,feely with people in a innocent,naive way.His intentions were not intended in a sexual manner.

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