Bevin - Bachelor 10

[ASassyKat]

Originally Posted by natashapierre

Me, too.

I do think that Andy's a well-meaning guy, though. However, I think that in many many ways he's pretty self-absorbed, and that he also doesn't have a clue to how self-absorbed he is. Which makes him a problem for romantic partners, period.

Excellent observation, I had wondered if his self-absorbtion would have led him to not realize that telling Bevin he loved her would lead her to believe she was his chosen one. This is why I believe he should not have misled her, which I absolutely believe he did.

[Google]

 

[luvlady345]

Originally Posted by angelic_one2002

Well then, it should be a red flag to Tessa, as well. He told them both he loved them.

But Tessa is not claiming that Andy told her he loved her much earlier in the process now is she. Why should it be a red flag to her? You know I have tried to see Bevin's point of view to me this is beyond crazy for a 28 year old divorced woman who has stated that she was on her own since she was 15, to believe Andy's ILY's after 2 weeks is beyond my level of comprehension......All of this post bachelor stuff, myspace pictures, now this OMG i am just speechless LOL, but not typeless.......

[natashapierre]

Originally Posted by ASassyKat

Excellent observation, I had wondered if his self-absorbtion would have led him to not realize that telling Bevin he loved her would lead her to believe she was his chosen one.

Yep, that's what I think.

I think he was trying to be honest perhaps, which led him to just blurting out some things as his feelings prompted him, and without considering in that moment how these things would strike the women or what implications they might have down the line.

I don't think that picking up on the feelings of those around him or getting the correct vibes about a social situation are Andy's long suit. And I doubt that he realizes that he's not good at this -- if he did, he might have put more of a guard on his mouth, because I really think he intends to be a good and ethical guy.

[angelic_one2002]

Originally Posted by luvlady345

But Tessa is not claiming that Andy told her he loved her much earlier in the process now is she. Why should it be a red flag to her? You know I have tried to see Bevin's point of view to me this is beyond crazy for a 28 year old divorced woman who has stated that she was on her own since she was 15, to believe Andy's ILY's after 2 weeks is beyond my level of comprehension......All of this post bachelor stuff, myspace pictures, now this OMG i just am speechless LOL, but not typeless.......

We won't know what Andy told Tessa, by having so much not shown to us viewers, but who's to say Andy didn't tell Tessa for quite some time also, that he loved her? We don't know the whens to all of his i love you's.
He still should have saved his ILY's till the end...for the very special girl that won his heart.

[ASassyKat]

Originally Posted by luvlady345

You know I have tried to see Bevin's point of view to me this is beyond crazy for a 28 year old divorced woman who has stated that she was on her own since she was 15, to believe Andy's ILY's after 2 weeks is beyond my level of comprehension......All of this post bachelor stuff, myspace pictures, now this OMG i just am speechless LOL, but not typeless.......

Well, Amber was certainly told by Andy that her age didn't matter, when of course he did a 180 on that. She believed him when he told her it didn't matter to him, she fell for him during the process, as did Danielle. They did not go as far as Bevin/Tessa, and yet they seemed equally hurt by him. Bevin being F2 certainly has a right to that pain as well, if not more so, since I hope that he didn't also tell Danielle and Amber that he loved them as well.

[luvlady345]

Originally Posted by angelic_one2002

We won't know what Andy told Tessa, by having so much not shown to us viewers, but who's to say Andy didn't tell Tessa for quite some time also, that he loved her? We don't know the whens to all of his i love you's.
He still should have saved his ILY's till the end...for the very special girl that won his heart.

See that is another reason why I am not buying the earlier claims of loves from Bevin, I am willing to bet that it would have been shown to more confuse the 5% who thought Andy was going to chose Bevin then maybe it wouldn't have been so one sided on all the boards...

[Schooner]

We could go around and around on this, er maybe we already have, but the bottom line - even if Andy loved Bevin and promised her the moon, he doesn't now, and he is in love with Tessa. He has been with Tessa for months now, and the freakin' girl still is putting pics of herself with Andy on her site.

She needs to get over it.

[Lifeisgood2]

Originally Posted by Spoil Me

And lets not forget that Bevin and Tessa are (were?) friends.

Bevin isn't showing any respect to Tessa at all!

After seeing Bevin on ATFR I thought, okay I absolutely misjudged her, but you know what - I didn't misjudge her, not at all. I pity her.

I totally agree. I actually liked her on the show, thought Tessa was and is a better match for Andy but liked her. Thought some of the things she did were a little immature but I also wasn't there. Regardless, I felt she was very classy at the FRC and especially on the ATFR show. I thought she is moving on and showing a lot of respect towards Andy & Tessa and is truly happy for them. However, since then it appears she has still not let go. She has pictures of herself with Andy from the show on her myspace page. That is in such poor taste. These pictures are to be showing the person you are, well you're not with him and as a matter of fact he is engaged to someone else. It just seems that since the show she is not being classy at all. She needs to truly move on and find the love of her life. I know she is a good person and think she deserves to be happy. But her actions are speaking louder than words right now. She says she is happy for Andy & Tessa but is really not acting like it. JMO.

I do believe Andy had good intentions and didn't really mean to hurt anyone. If you really think that was the case, do you think all the girls would still be speaking so highly of him, including Bevin after the show? I'm just curious as to how all the Bevin fans would feel about Andy had he chosen her and Tessa been the one left with the broken heart.

[Beachmom]

Originally Posted by Schooner

People are really hung up on this I love you stuff, but we have no idea of the context, or how, when, why etc. I wouldn't put so much stock into that.

I don't think Bevin is moving on as she should. Remember, for us this show ended only a short time ago...for her it has been over for months. And, she is still using pics of herself with Andy as per picture on myspace. She is a strange one.

ITA - as I posted before I guess my ideas come from being around teenagers.

Do we know for sure if it is really Bevin posting these pics and comments? If it is, I agree it is tacky - no matter how she feels.

[pajamasam]

Take a people pleaser like Andy put him in a situation when he HAS to hurt people's feelings, and string some along, add alcohol, keep him from being able to express him feelings as honestly as possible, then amp it up with sleeplessness and self-doubt as to the right people to keep from week to week and deprive him of a healthy balance of outside life and interactions with friends and family, then film that 24-7. I think his biggest problem was that he was too concerned about making the girls feel good about themselves. People that do this ultimately mislead others and cause more harm than good. Tessa needs to work with him on this trait. jmo

Wow girlsmom you really understand what makes people tick.