Bevin - Bachelor 10

[katiej]

Last post for this episode:

I love Bevin, but I am afraid of her coming out party in Seattle (Sammamish is the real name of her hometown, Southeast of Seattle). I really want her to be happy (and I am not jumping off of the kayak). But do they usually pick the obvious choice on the Bachelor. I don't usually watch, but it seems as if Tessa is going to win because she isn't so obvious. I can tell who is going to get kicked off, (up till now) but I have no guesses on who is going to win. I hope Andy doesn't boot Bevin for her past. But we have no idea how secure Andy is. Maybe this will rock him to the point that he cannot recover. Guys are all about saying that they are open and receptive to anything, but when it comes to real truths: SOMETIMES THEY CAN'T HANDLE THEM.

I hope Bevin wins. But I am worried.

[Google]

 

[katiej]

Originally Posted by Cleocatra

not quite sure what you're asking..."how do you get married as a teenager"?

do you mean legally? sorry just wondering

A few years back I volunteered at a place that helped unwed young mothers and they also counselled young people on relationships, sex, blah blah (I did receptionist and office work, not counselling), .... there were lots of teenagers who had married and it didnt work out, most had a child together but there were others who got married without a pregnancy involved.

Just young people making poor choices for the most part.

Not legally, I get that part. But emotionally. I don't get (understand) that desire. When I was a teen, I wanted to date and figure myself out. I didn't know who I was. I don't think most people do as a teenager. I didn't know what kind of man I wanted, what I wanted to be, or see, or do with my life before the age of 22. And even after I graduated from college, I changed my mind. How on earth can a person be in the mindset to get married at 17, 18, 19?

[Cleocatra]

Originally Posted by katiej

Not legally, I get that part. But emotionally. I don't get (understand) that desire. When I was a teen, I wanted to date and figure myself out. I didn't know who I was. I don't think most people do as a teenager. I didn't know what kind of man I wanted, what I wanted to be, or see, or do with my life before the age of 22. And even after I graduated from college, I changed my mind. How on earth can a person be in the mindset to get married at 17, 18, 19?

Very true and that's probably why so many marriages of young people (teenagers) don't work out.... they don't really know what they want yet and in a lot of cases they arent the person that they'll be as an adult.

I think I read somewhere that Bevin was 19 when she got married and where I'm from that is legal age, you're an adult, no parental consent neccessary.

Hard to say exactly what happened in Bevins case.... hopefully when we see her telling Andy we'll all get a better idea of the circumstances involved.

[katiej]

Originally Posted by Arielflies

Is she man-dependent, though? We don't really know her circumstances or why she applied for the show. What we do know is that her mother has stated in a news article that she thought Bevin would be perfect for the show and encouraged her to apply. Andy has stated that he wanted his name and background out early in the process so that those applying would know who they were vying for. Maybe it was this man and this time. Another one of the fate engines that are one of this show's themes.

With her background of early achievement, a young marriage and now work and further studies, she must feel older than 28. That age seems young to some of us (especially me) but maybe she feels it really is time for her to settle her life and, for her, that includes a family. I'm not faulting her for wanting marriage and children earlier than a lot of young women today.

Don't be crabby, fireflyer, it's just a show with a story to tell and the
iss machine has found two very interesting women to highlight. Unfortunately, one of them has to be yin to the other's yang.

Arielflies YOU ARE COOL. I should know more before I post. I am new to this whole blogging thing. But I am invested in Bevin because she is from my hometown. I agree with you that it was probably Andy that made her apply. (Even though it bugs me that he kisses everyone). I understand her need for a life partner and kids. I am almost 28 and I have been married for two years. When you are ready, you make it happen and I see her making it happen. I hope Bevin finds happiness. She really is a cool person and I hate the way she is being edited. It's too bad you all can't see the real, normal girl that Bevin is.

[katgib13]

Originally Posted by katiej

Not legally, I get that part. But emotionally. I don't get (understand) that desire. When I was a teen, I wanted to date and figure myself out. I didn't know who I was. I don't think most people do as a teenager. I didn't know what kind of man I wanted, what I wanted to be, or see, or do with my life before the age of 22. And even after I graduated from college, I changed my mind. How on earth can a person be in the mindset to get married at 17, 18, 19?

I don't like Bevin (or at least, I don't like the Bevin that the edit is showing us) and I can't believe I'm going to defend her...lol. But here goes...

She stated that she has basically been on her own since she was 15. Same here. My mom walked out on me and left me with my very elderly grandmother when I was 15. I met a boy, started dating him and by the time I graduated high school, we were pregnant with baby #2. I thought I was in love and ready to make it legal. Fortunately, I came to my senses and realized that what I was really looking for was stability, someone to love me unconditionally, and just a place to belong. I knew marrying him wasn't going to provide any of that and it was for all the wrong reasons anyway. We broke up and I moved on. Best decision I ever made.

Perhaps...Bevin was looking for the same thing. Stability, love and a small family of her own. I can see how she would make that mistake and then have it end in divorce. When you are young and immature, you don't always think with your head. Your heart and other body parts..ahem...tend to lead to bad decisions. I just think she should have told Andy by now that she is divorced.

Oh, and BTW...it all worked out for me. I have three beautiful sons now and a wonderful hubby...we celebrate 7 years of marriage on Mothers Day.. I also have a degree as a Vet Tech, a beautiful home and everything I ever dreamed of.

[Schooner]

I don't know if anyone here watches One Tree Hill...but on the show last night, one of the girls (Haley, she is pregnant on the show) had on the exact same dress for "prom" that Bevin had on during the very first night. It was cream color with black lace waist and straps. First thing I noticed when I saw it last night.

[Cleocatra]

Originally Posted by katgib13

I don't like Bevin (or at least, I don't like the Bevin that the edit is showing us) and I can't believe I'm going to defend her...lol. But here goes...

She stated that she has basically been on her own since she was 15. Same here. My mom walked out on me and left me with my very elderly grandmother when I was 15. I met a boy, started dating him and by the time I graduated high school, we were pregnant with baby #2. I thought I was in love and ready to make it legal. Fortunately, I came to my senses and realized that what I was really looking for was stability, someone to love me unconditionally, and just a place to belong. I knew marrying him wasn't going to provide any of that and it was for all the wrong reasons anyway. We broke up and I moved on. Best decision I ever made.

Perhaps...Bevin was looking for the same thing. Stability, love and a small family of her own. I can see how she would make that mistake and then have it end in divorce. When you are young and immature, you don't always think with your head. Your heart and other body parts..ahem...tend to lead to bad decisions. I just think she should have told Andy by now that she is divorced.

Oh, and BTW...it all worked out for me. I have three beautiful sons now and a wonderful hubby...we celebrate 7 years of marriage on Mothers Day.. I also have a degree as a Vet Tech, a beautiful home and everything I ever dreamed of.

The only thing I can think of to excuse that is the same as someone else posted.... Bevin was probably waiting for a one on one date with Andy where she'd have ample time and privacy to explain her situation.

If it was me I'd want to tell the person a little of the history involved and have the right amount of time and atmosphere for doing so.

It's hardly the type of thing that I'd want to blurt out not knowing if another one of the girls might come waltzing in or calling out to him from a balcony or around a corner like it so often happens when they have a few minutes alone together during group activities.

[katgib13]

Originally Posted by Cleocatra

It's hardly the type of thing that I'd want to blurt out not knowing if another one of the girls might come waltzing in or calling out to him from a balcony or around a corner like it so often happens when they have a few minutes alone together during group activities.

I see your point. She could have always asked him if they could go somewhere private because she had something important to tell him, but then the girls do like to eavesdrop, so that might not have worked, either.

[pajamasam]

If it was me I'd want to tell the person a little of the history involved and have the right amount of time and atmosphere for doing so.

It's hardly the type of thing that I'd want to blurt out not knowing if another one of the girls might come waltzing in or calling out to him from a balcony or around a corner like it so often happens when they have a few minutes alone together during group activities.
__________________

But she could have told him during their SQT time in Tahoe. She was alone with him in his suite. The SQT time with Erin after the race track was 2 hours. I assume that Bevin had a similar amount of time with him.

[katiej]

Originally Posted by katgib13

I don't like Bevin (or at least, I don't like the Bevin that the edit is showing us) and I can't believe I'm going to defend her...lol. But here goes...

She stated that she has basically been on her own since she was 15. Same here. My mom walked out on me and left me with my very elderly grandmother when I was 15. I met a boy, started dating him and by the time I graduated high school, we were pregnant with baby #2. I thought I was in love and ready to make it legal. Fortunately, I came to my senses and realized that what I was really looking for was stability, someone to love me unconditionally, and just a place to belong. I knew marrying him wasn't going to provide any of that and it was for all the wrong reasons anyway. We broke up and I moved on. Best decision I ever made.

Perhaps...Bevin was looking for the same thing. Stability, love and a small family of her own. I can see how she would make that mistake and then have it end in divorce. When you are young and immature, you don't always think with your head. Your heart and other body parts..ahem...tend to lead to bad decisions. I just think she should have told Andy by now that she is divorced.

Oh, and BTW...it all worked out for me. I have three beautiful sons now and a wonderful hubby...we celebrate 7 years of marriage on Mothers Day.. I also have a degree as a Vet Tech, a beautiful home and everything I ever dreamed of.

It is always easier to judge a person when you are on the outside looking in. Thank you for your perspective. I tend to put my own, very positive, life on other people and not think about what they must be feeling until someone calls me out. I guess when you aren't walking in someone else's shoes, you can make short sighted judgements. Thank you for your positive spin. I am glad to hear that good things do come to those who wait. I pray that Bevin has the same happy ending (or beginning) that you have had.