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Thread: A Reflection on the Military Wife

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    quality not quantity
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    A Reflection on the Military Wife

    Just yesterday, I read this article in a publication that my retired military husband receives. The author is unknown. I suspect it has been around for a number of years, because some of the words and thoughts are a bit anachronistic or politically incorrect, but much truth is contained herein.

    .............................. .............................. .............................. .............

    A military wife is mostly girl. But there are times, such as when her husband is away and she is mowing the lawn or fixing a youngster's bike, that she begins to suspect she is also boy. She usually comes in three sizes:petite, plump and pregnant. During the early years of her marriage, itis often hard to determine which size is her normal one. She has babies all over the world and measures time in terms of places, rather than years. "It was in England that the children had the chickenpox. I was in Texas when Paul was promoted." At least one of her babies was born or a tranfer was accomplished when she was alone. This causes her to suspect a secret pact between her husband and the military, providing for a man to be overseas or on temporary duty at times such as these.

    A military wife is international. She may a Kansas farm girl, a French mademoiselle, a Japanese doll, or a German fraulein. When discussing service problems, they all speak the same language. She can be a great actress. To heartbroken children at transfer time, she gives an Academy Award performance: "New Mexico is going to be such fun. I hear they have Indian reservations...and tarantulas...and rattlesnakes." But her heart is breaking with theirs. She wonders if this is worth the sacrifice.

    An ideal military wife has the patience of an angel, the flexibility of putty, the wisdom of a scholar and the stamina of a horse. If she dislikes money, it helps. She is sentimental, carrying her memories with her in an old footlocker. One might say she is a bigamist, sharing her husband with a demanding entity called "duty." When duty calls, she becomes number 2 wife. Until she accepts this fact, her life can be miserable.

    She is, above all, a woman who married a man who offered her the permanace of a gypsy, the miseries of lonliness, the frustration of conformity and the security of love. Sitting among her packing boxes with squabbling children nearby, she is sometimes willing to chuck it all until she hears the firm steps and the cheerful voice of the lug who gave her all this.

    Then, she is happy to be...his military wife.
    Last edited by soccermom2; 03-27-2007 at 09:44 PM. Reason: spelling

  2. #2
    ABC Cheats Viewers! Zinnia's Avatar
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    ...but much truth is contained herein.
    So true. I don't know how military wives do it, but I admire them for being able to.
    Is it too much to ask for some reality in reality TV?

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    Forum Assistant Arielflies's Avatar
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    Thank you for this piece, soccermom2. It is amazing that ordinary mortals can live this life. But, then, they are women.
    The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. Dorothy Parker, (attributed)

  4. #4
    FORT Fogey ScoutMom's Avatar
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    I'm pretty much a home-body. I hate moving. I dislike the entire process - looking for a new home, packing, cleaning out, unpacking, and the never-ending cleaning! Ugh. Just the thought of it gives me the shivers. I told my husband the next time I move it's in a pine box.

    I give these women a lot of credit. Having to pick up and relocate every few years has to be the worst. Although I do know some people who just love to move. Personally, I think their next move should be with the men in the little white coats, but what do I know?

  5. #5
    FORT Fogey live4romance's Avatar
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    Soccermom2 thanks for this great read! It is so true. I wasn't a military wife, but the wife of a husband who travelled for business and I could relate to this very well. Hats off to all women who have to live like this.
    Friends are those rare people who ask how you are and then wait for the answer. ~Author Unknown

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    FORT Fogey luvlady345's Avatar
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    I was a Military wife for 10 years, it take alot of love and understanding that's for sure.. When your husband is TDY, you count the seconds until you are back together again it's takes strong people to make a military marriage work.. The wife more than likely will end up being mother and father alot of the time with the husband being away, but if you love your military man it can be a very wonderful an exciting life....

  7. #7
    quality not quantity
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    I am glad people are appreciating the author's thoughts. My favorite part of the above is "...the flexibility of putty...and the stamina of a horse." I do think that this is true for women in general.

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    Married December 2010 Brightcryptic's Avatar
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    Thank you for sharing this, Soccermom2 - I can definitely relate to it .
    Passion and satisfaction go hand in hand, and without them, any happiness is only temporary, because there's nothing to make it last. -- Nicholas Sparks

  9. #9
    FORT Fogey my3boyz's Avatar
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    I can definately relate to this too. My husband has been in the military almost 17 years. We have a few more years before he retires! I can't wait til we can actually have him home with us every night without wondering where he will be sent next.

  10. #10
    FORT Newbie raymonds3's Avatar
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    As a fellow military wife I think that author was dead-on. We've moved 10 times in 18 years (3 times in 1 year) and sometimes it's not so easy. I've seen many military couples divorce when one spouse just can't handle the one & only constant to this lifestyle: change. My husband was in Iraq while my daughter went from age 11 months to 2 years - he missed so much! It's very hard on the servicemember, too. If Andy has found true love, I hope she really understands what she's getting into!

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