Fun with the Bachelor Part 2- Outrageous Rumors

[RandalR]

Oh, come on MsFroggy, someone's has to write those "spontaneous" responses!! I nominate MsFroggy, Krom and Randal R since they're all members of the illustrious FORT Post of the Week club as your the leaders of your writer's team, MsThing!!
I'll have to check with my agent and contract lawyer and get back to you after I renew my union card about that Continuity Position!! (You think Susan or Sarah B could give me some references? Or better yet, I want Travis's lawyer since he pulled off that annoying (to MsFRoggy) coup with his contract exemptions and conditions!!

We could easily script an entire Bachelor season with invented characters. Approximately a third of the lines are canned dialogue and Chris Harrison voiceovers, anyway. Through in enough "absolutelys, definitelys, ridiculouses and amazings" and you are down to only a few hundred words of actual dialogue, most of which can be paraphrased from currently popular movies and TV shows. Probably take a weekend to write up the whole thing.

[MsFroggy]

But what's great is that a whole new crop of delusional fools will show up in the fall, absolutely convinced that being on TV will be fun and that none of the bad things that happened to this season's crew are going to happen to them. I liked Moana's line the other day about wanting to watch the next show anyway out of "morbid curiosity" - The Bachelor has become the 21st century's answer to the traveling freak show, complete with Ringmaster Dr. Evil.

Maybe they'll go overseas now for willing victims from now on. They could bring in some guy from a country where The Bachelor probably hasn't been shown, either as a local franchise or the US version, like say, Mongolia... .

They could also run the show a bit more in real time. Film a week ahead only, so everything pretty much happens "now". The story develops as it goes, and they could just show *gasp* what actually happens. They could still edit it down, but since they don't know how it ends, drama would be found elsewhere, like in the interactions and the bloopers, the funny stuff, the unknown itself. Of course Fleiss could still screw it all up and misrepresent things, as anyone who has ever seen Big Brother live feeds knows, but I think it would be more "realistic" if it wasn't filmed months in advance. Then there'd be no problem having an FRC live, an ATFR live since it would all be fresh and new. This show needs a retooling, ASAP, if it is to survive.

Would we watch "The Bachelor: In Real Time"? Well, I do watch Big Brother... .

[RandalR]

Maybe they'll go overseas now for willing victims from now on. They could bring in some guy from a country where The Bachelor probably hasn't been shown, either as a local franchise or the US version, like say, Mongolia... .

They could also run the show a bit more in real time. Film a week ahead only, so everything pretty much happens "now". The story develops as it goes, and they could just show *gasp* what actually happens. They could still edit it down, but since they don't know how it ends, drama would be found elsewhere, like in the interactions and the bloopers, the funny stuff, the unknown itself. Of course Fleiss could still screw it all up and misrepresent things, as anyone who has ever seen Big Brother live feeds knows, but I think it would be more "realistic" if it wasn't filmed months in advance. Then there'd be no problem having an FRC live, an ATFR live since it would all be fresh and new. This show needs a retooling, ASAP, if it is to survive.

Would we watch "The Bachelor: In Real Time"? Well, I do watch Big Brother... .

I can see Fleiss being reduced to that...

"Sembai Navaan, a hunter with twelve goats and a yurt, came to Ulaanbaatar in search of true love. Along the way, he met 25 beautiful shepherds' daughters, all hoping to have the opportunity to become...a hunter's wife!"

[MsFroggy]

Oh, come on MsFroggy, someone's has to write those "spontaneous" responses!! I nominate MsFroggy, Krom and Randal R since they're all members of the illustrious FORT Post of the Week club as your the leaders of your writer's team, MsThing!!
I'll have to check with my agent and contract lawyer and get back to you after I renew my union card about that Continuity Position!! (You think Susan or Sarah B could give me some references? Or better yet, I want Travis's lawyer since he pulled off that annoying (to MsFRoggy) coup with his contract exemptions and conditions!!

I consulted with my agent, my publicist, my lawyer and some of my entourage and they all said I should get a 20 page contract and a big fee. I mean, it's hard work coming up with stuff like: "Oh, Travis, you are just so perfect!" and "Oh, Susan, you're ridiculously beautiful!".

Also I'd personally try to sneak in some history, you know, if we're doing this crap at least make it educational: "So Sarah, what do you think about the death of Marat? Was Charlotte Corday justified in stabbing him?"
I'd probably be fired the first day.

[pajamasam]

Right MsFroggy. They should tape and edit. The Amazing Race editors start editing each episode the minute that episode ends at the mat. Without knowing who will eventually win! They are just that good. They see the stories that are interesting and worth telling and they use the footage to tell them. Simple as that. Why cant Fleiss do the same? Dunno. Lazy I guess.

It would seem to me that it would be alot easier to do the real time editing on the Bachelor than on TAR which is such a fast moving show. Different types of transport, different countries, everyone constantly on the move - in the street, in various vehicles, etc. With the Bachelor, you have alot of hanging out in the house. A group date with 5 or 6 people. Hanging out on the date. More hanging out in the house. Hanging out while others are on dates. Then a RC. How hard could it be? Focus on the drama that is presented regardless of whether the dramatic ones stay til the end. For God's sake, they already do that. How many minutes of Fabrice did we needlessly see? Lots , and he wasnt sticking around. But he brought the drama. Fleiss only wants to show the drama anyway. So edit it in real time! Yay Ms Froggy.

[MsFroggy]

I can see Fleiss being reduced to that...

"Sembai Navaan, a hunter with twelve goats and a yurt, came to Ulaanbaatar in search of true love. Along the way, he met 25 beautiful shepherds' daughters, all hoping to have the opportunity to become...a hunter's wife!"

Next week on "The Bachelor: Mongolia": Sembai takes his 25 shepherdesses to his yurt where they meet all his goats and try to catch his one good eye - the other was tragically lost in a goat herding accident, just last year.
Tune in to find out whether Sembai will give a goat to your favorite shepherdess! We're almost live on ABC, Mondays 8/9PM EST/CST.

[RandalR]

Next week on "The Bachelor: Mongolia": Sembai takes his 25 shepherdesses to his yurt where they meet all his goats and try to catch his one good eye - the other was tragically lost in a goat herding accident, just last year.
Tune in to find out whether Sembai will give a goat to your favorite shepherdess! We're almost live on ABC, Mondays 8/9PM EST/CST.

As long as we can keep Sembai off the Oprah Winfrey show, the chances for a successful outcome are excellent.

See how easy this is?

[monkee]

Next week on "The Bachelor: Mongolia": Sembai takes his 25 shepherdesses to his yurt where they meet all his goats and try to catch his one good eye - the other was tragically lost in a goat herding accident, just last year.
Tune in to find out whether Sembai will give a goat to your favorite shepherdess! We're almost live on ABC, Mondays 8/9PM EST/CST.

Projectile coffee all over my computer screen. Ms Froggy, Randall, thank you for injecting so much humour into this otherwise boring, abominable season of the Bachelor. I am thinking of applying for "The Bachelor: Mongolia" Sembai sounds like a great catch.

[cafegirl]

Next week on "The Bachelor: Mongolia": Sembai takes his 25 shepherdesses to his yurt where they meet all his goats and try to catch his one good eye - the other was tragically lost in a goat herding accident, just last year.
Tune in to find out whether Sembai will give a goat to your favorite shepherdess! We're almost live on ABC, Mondays 8/9PM EST/CST.

Boy are we lucky, I just happened to go to Mongolian Reality Tv. com and found some screencaps of the new show for us to Sleuth!

Sembai, has to think long and hard about whether or not to choose a Bachelorette/shepherdess or his beloved sheep, Yanni.

Can you believe that "bitch", Mariash, trying to steal Sembai's away from us?"

Sembai, makes a home visit to Liazzat's family and enjoy's the family favorite, yogurt, while one family member pulls out photos of Liazzat as a precocious child!

Sembai, shows his provess for alluring women by killing and preparing a home cooked dinner for one lucky shepherdess.

Sembai and some of the women take off for the first group date!

The family sees Sembai and one of the girls as they depart for their fantasy date!

Two of the Shepherdesses, waiting for Sembai to pick them up for a date to shear sheep.

And our host, Chris Harrison, trying to be incognito!

[RandalR]

Boy are we lucky, I just happened to go to Mongolian Reality Tv. com and found some screencaps of the new show for us to Sleuth!

Bravo, cafegirl! Post of the week!

I'm pretty sure Fleiss flipped that second photo to fool us, and the full yogurt cauldron shot was taken before Sembai got whipped by Liazzat's father for smiling at her without permission.