Welcome everyone…Last week we had to say goodbye to our good friends Tara and Jehan, this week one other lovely lady will be joining them in loserville. Tonight we have an extra special episode not only is it Hometown visit week and a two hour episode but we also get about 45 minutes worth of recaps and coming up next on the Bachelor sequence. Well let’s get started because I am not really sure if I can make it through two hours of this snoozefest of a season.
To kick the show off we get reminded that the season started with 25 ladies and each week some of those ladies were eliminated and we are now down to 4. Unless you have been living under a rock this was the most useless information I could give you. We then get a preview of what is to come this episode. Travis visits Moana’s family and her father is shocked to learn that Trav is Presbyterian. After his visit to California, Travis travels to our friendly neighbors to the North to visit Sarah, only to finally realize that she has some serious jealousy issues. From Canada he gets to go home and visit with Sarah in Tennessee, only to shock her father when he reveals that he is going to move to the mountains. For his final visit he goes to Susan’s parents in Durham were her ex fiancée is there to haunt everyone. I am looking forward to this, I am wondering if they are going to use camera trickery to capture the ghost or if we are all going to be disappointed to only see flying light orbs.
Now I’ve had the time of my life…
Just when I think the show can’t get to a slower start Fleiss and company throw me the ultimate curve ball, past season recaps. I am so glad they show clips of Alex making Michelle’s father mad when he squeezes a 2 year olds hand too tightly, or when we get to see Charlie being uncomfortable when Krisily’s grandmother puts the moves on him. Really, was this whole montage necessary? I can’t help but think that Fleiss and crew somehow mixed up the words torture and entertainment.
Who packs the least baggage?
Finally the show is ready to start. I am a little mad because I just wasted the last 15 minutes of my life and that is time I will NEVER get back!
As Travis is preparing to fly home he reflects on all the girls and what they have to offer him. First off we have Susan, she is smart, engaging and attractive. This is the biggest coincidence, these are the three qualities I am also looking for in the guy I plan to marry except for maybe replace engaging with personality, and attractive with love and dedication. For Sarah B. she has a beauty and innocence about her, the problem is she has been distant lately and he wants to fix that. Sarah S. he feels is a great friend and they live close but he is wondering if a romance can develop out of that. Last we have Moana, he finds something sexy and mysterious about her, he likes that she has not been trying to force anything on him, like a personality.
Travis arrives in California and meets Moana as she is cavorting on the beach. They sit and have a very deep discussion, he tells her his plans to move to the Mountains and wonders if she would move to Nashville. Travis then lets Moana know that meeting her has been one of the best experiences of his life. Moana then tells us that she is putting her heart on the table and she is scared to feel this safe. Frankly, she better keep that heart away from a junior high science class, nothing is safe when you give kids scalpels.
After the chat in the sand Moana invites Travis to go surfing with her even though the waves are not very good. They decide they will just lie on the boards and paddle into the ocean. As they are floating on the gently rolling waves and the sun is setting in the background Travis leans over and kisses Moana. She tells us that it was the most amazing first kiss.
Please pass the Spanish Inquisition
As Travis and Moana travel to her parents home she informs us that her father is tough, and a good judge of character. Moana’s parents are Ray and Cheryl and her stepmother is Virginia. Travis starts to talk to Moana’s father and right off it is very uncomfortable and awkward. Cheryl asks Travis what he thinks of this arrangement because she finds it very disgusting, and that family is being undermined. Travis answers with “make sure you stay with what you believe in, pretty cool.” Huh? Ray has the same expression I have on my face and wants Travis to explain what he believes in. Travis says that he could go on for 3 to 6 hours (please, no!) talking about what he believes in, but he will just give the condensed version, he believes in being a positive member of society. The conversation keeps going downhill as Travis tells her dad that he grew up Presbyterian so he has since learned how to be tolerant. Dad does not like that and asks what he means by it. Travis informs him that he doesn’t believe everything he is told, he likes to discover on his own. Mom ends the uncomfortable conversation by saying, “cheers to the Spanish Inquisition.”
Moana takes a minute and pulls her father aside so she can discuss the situation with him. She can’t believe how emotionally involved she has become in this whole process. Her father is skeptical and does not buy the whole situation. I don’t understand her father, how can he not see that this is the best way to meet a man? If only her father would look at the track record of this show he surely would be singing a different tune.
As Travis is getting ready to leave he thanks the family for a wonderful meal and allowing him into their house. He also wants to reassure them that he does have true feelings for their daughter. Her dad thanks him for his candor. As Travis and Moana drive off she apologizes for her family.
Travis dashes off to the North to Winnipeg Canada to visit Sarah B. and her family. He meets her at the park were she is feeding bread to the ducks. They talk for a little bit, she tells him a little about her mother and two brothers whom he will be meeting later. They head off to the local billiards hall to play a rousing game of pool. As they sit at the table and drink beers and talk I can’t help but wonder if she is old enough to drink, then I remember you only need to be 19 to drink in Canada. Sarah starts to ask Travis if he knows everything that has been going on in the house and if he is interested in finding out. This makes Travis a little uncomfortable because he does not want to talk about the other girls, he wants to get to know Sarah more and see if the attraction is still there. Sarah continues to press him about Moana and this upsets Travis, he thinks she is becoming irrationally jealous.
I’ll have mine with a side of cheese
Travis and Sarah arrive at her mom’s house were he meets her mom Julie and her brothers Steven and David. As they sit down to talk a phone starts ringing in the background, and Travis learns that is Sarah’s bedroom phone, because she still lives at home with her family. This information surprises Travis, it makes him realize the age difference between him and Sarah.
Travis and Sarah’s family sit down to dinner and discuss why Travis is attracted to Sarah. He informs the clan that he is attracted to their connection. Her mom tells Travis that Sarah is 1 of 4 in this house and they are all in this together. Mom then puts on her pimp hat and tells Travis that Sarah has blessed her life. She brings energy to their house, she knows how to have a good time, relax, and that she is real. Sarah starts in again with Moana talk, she tells Travis ultimately it is about them but when you go back to the house and all those girls are there it makes it difficult.
Sarah and her mom leave to go have a private talk. Her mom thinks that Travis is amazing and Sarah agrees. Sarah tells her mom how hard it is to watch him with other women. She wants to fight for him but doesn’t know how. Her mom tells her that she needs to tell him how she feels and to be herself.
Sarah and Travis go up to her bedroom to hangout for a little bit. We get an idea of what her bed looks like, it is exactly what I would have loved when I was 8 years old. It’s a big white bed with pink gauzy curtains hanging all around it, and cute little pillows all over the comforter, my dream princess bed. As they lie on the bed and talk Travis and Sarah share a kiss and cuddle for a little bit hoping her mom does not open the door and catch them. Travis thinks he has reconnected to Sarah again and has found out there are many more layers to her, he tells her to meet him at his locker the next day before homeroom.
Back in Nashville, Travis is preparing to meet Sarah at her house about a block away. They head off to the park with his dog Nala in tow. Travis likes that they share similar interests such as, biking, hiking, running, and being active in general. Travis tells Sarah that he likes Nashville but one day would like to move to the mountains. Sarah is not very excited about moving and lets Travis know that she wants to stay around Nashville and her family. As they are hanging out in the park Sarah’s two sisters and a whole bunch of her students show up to visit. Sarah organizes the kids and wants them to introduce themselves to Travis. Travis all of a sudden turns into the backwoods mountain man he keeps dreaming about and talks to the kids. “Me Travis, you miss teacher?” Sarah’s sisters like Travis, they think he is cute, and that is all that really matters!
That’s a nice piece of meat
We are given a bit of a twist with this visit, Sarah and her family are going to get together at Travis’s house. Sarah’s family arrives and we get to meet her parents Vernita and Addison and her aunt Rhoda. Immediately her mom thinks he is cute and her father asks him what he does. He tells him he likes mountain biking, whitewater kayaking, and hiking, but in order to do that he needs to move to the mountains, the Rockies specifically.
As dad and Travis are outside discussing what kinds of meat they like to grill inside the ladies are getting the dirt from Sarah. Sarah wants to know what her mom and aunt really think of Travis. Her mom thinks he is cute and has a good personality. Her aunt wants to know if she has been romantic with him, and she answers no, at least not yet. Her aunt and mom then go on to tell her about how hard it is being married to a doctor because of the long hours and all the attractive nurses at the hospital.
Travis pulls her mom aside to talk and wants her to know that he has enjoyed getting to know her daughter. Her mom gives Travis a tape she found from 1993 of Sarah in a play singing and dancing, everyone watched together. The family thanks Travis for dinner and inviting them to his house.
After the family leaves Travis and Sarah hang out at the house for a little bit and enjoy their first kiss together. Her feelings for him are growing and she really feels this could work out. He is starting to like her and feels that she has many of the qualities that he would want in the woman he plans to marry. I really hope this is foreshadowing of the final result because I think she is the only sane one left.
Lip-locking in the park
Travis’s final stop is in Durham to visit with his favorite Susan. He meets her at Duke gardens were they share a picnic together. Susan lets Travis know that she is not very content in her life and is looking to move or change something, or just maybe run off to Hollywood to become an actress. They decide to toss the football around a little bit and they get together for a nice, respectful kiss. Travis lets us know that something would have to go horribly wrong tonight for him to not give Susan a rose. I hope Susan’s family watched that because that sounded like a challenge to me, I hope they are up for it.
Both glasses are less full
At Susan’s house Travis gets to meet her parents, Ken and Kathy, and her two very attractive brothers Brian and Matt. Susan’s mom starts to ask Travis questions and wonders how he would feel if Susan was in this whole process for fun. Travis tells the family he needs another drink and gets up to go to the kitchen.
Susan and her mom go for a talk and discuss the fact that right before she left for the show she just broke up with her fiancée. Her mom does not think she is ready for another relationship so soon. Susan leaves the room and now mom and Travis have a chance to talk. Susan’s mom asks Travis if he is being pressured to propose. He tells her that the decision is up to him on what he wants to do at the finale of the show. Her mom then goes on to telling Travis that Susan just got out of a serious relationship and thinks that she might be acting.
Her dad sits Susan down and asks her if she is ready to jump back into the dating scene. She tells him that she is ready to get into another relationship and she really likes Travis. Her father then asks if she thinks being on the Bachelor will help to launch her acting career. Susan lets her father know that any vehicle she can use to launch her career will help. At this point I am lead to believe Susan is crazy. I hope she realizes NO reality TV star goes on to make it big in Hollywood!
Travis and Susan leave her parents house and Susan is worried that her mother has planted some skepticism into his head. Susan lets Travis know that she is sincere and wonders if he is concerned about the ex fiancée. Travis lets us know that he is now a little more skeptical about their relationship.
Is it over yet?
Travis returns to Paris a little tired but ready to continue with the process. Chris meets him on the back patio and gives him an awkward pep talk about the decisions he has to make. He leads him into the mansion to watch the messages the ladies left for him.
Sarah B. feels fireworks with him and hopes he wants to do this with her.
Sarah S. had so much fun with him in Nashville and thinks that every time they are together it gets better. She also thinks that Travis is perfect for her.
Susan was honored to bring him home, she is totally crazy about him and she is looking forward to falling in love with Travis.
Moana (openly weeping) has found a piece of herself in Travis she never knew existed. She brought Travis and her family together and that was the first time she felt complete. She would love to give herself to Travis because she knows he would be careful with her.
You peaked too soon!
Each girl enters the Mansion looking a little nervous and not very excited to have Chris greet them at the door. Chris explains that there are only 3 roses left of one of the ladies will be on a plane leaving Paris tonight. Travis goes into his speech about the ladies and how he wishes he could give each one of them a rose, blah, blah, blah.
The first rose goes to Susan, she accepts with a yes and a hug. The second rose goes to Moana and she says I guess so and returns to her place in line. The two Sarah’s are left, each looks nervous, and they both are using their tongues to make sure the lipstick is off their teeth. The last rose goes to Sarah, (really long uncomfortable pause)…from Tennessee, she accepts the rose. Sarah B. hugs goodbye to all the ladies except for Moana and goes to hall for her official dumping. Travis tells her he did not want to say goodbye but felt they were at different places in their lives. Sarah cries and still can’t stop talking about Moana and can’t believe he kept Moana over her. Travis lets us know it just was not meant to be. At this point more stuff could have been said but I am exhausted after this two hour show so that’s all your getting!
Make sure to tune in next Monday at 10pm to see Travis take the
ho’sladies on three fantasy dates. Susan goes to the French Alps, Sarah spends time in Vienna and Moana visits the city of Venice.
I’m off to fill out my Bachelor application so I can fulfill my lifelong dream of being portrayed as a ho on TV. Email me at Yardgnome77@fansofrealitytv.co m.