I don't understand the appeal of this show

[Kocky_Kamikaze]

Yes, I've seen the first two seasons and here and there of some of the others but, I quickly realized these "bachelors" looking to get married are not going to marry the "winner". Wasn't that the premise of the show to begin with??? The winning bachelorette is supposed to marry bachelor! All that's going on is these women knocking themselves out for a jerk who only toys with their emotions by stringing them along, making them think they actually have a chance! These ladies will do better taking their chances off the show!

I just don't get it...

someone help me out with this!

[RandalR]

Yes, I've seen the first two seasons and here and there of some of the others but, I quickly realized these "bachelors" looking to get married are not going to marry the "winner". Wasn't that the premise of the show to begin with??? The winning bachelorette is supposed to marry bachelor! All that's going on is these women knocking themselves out for a jerk who only toys with their emotions by stringing them along, making them think they actually have a chance! These ladies will do better taking their chances off the show!

I just don't get it...

someone help me out with this!

The Bachelorettes, many of whom have SAG cards, are operating on the old theory that "any publicity is good publicity". They are hoping the exposure will help them land work in Hollywood (which hasn't happened for any of them yet, as far as I know). The "fall in love" aspect is entirely secondary.

[pajamasam]

I agree with you. I dont understand the appeal of this show to the participants. Then again, I dont understand why anyone would want to be on just about any reality tv show. Except for Amazing Race. Well, if the Bachelor always involved a free trip overseas, then perhaps it's a bit more understandable. Lots of folks want to see a bit of the world. The appeal of the show to those of us who watch it is quite a different thing. Those who choose to participate are , no doubt , hoping to be the next Trista . Admittedly, she got a great guy. And in her eyes, a great wedding. Most of the women are actresses/models/famewhores/wannabes. But some just want an adventure and a tiny chance for love.

[Anemic Dog]

Each season, I hold out hope that ABC has figured out the show's two fatal flaws, because they're so obvious. And each season, I'm disappointed.

1) DO NOT cast anyone who entertains any desire to develop a career in Hollywood.

2) DO NOT show previews of upcoming action, except for a 20-second clip at the end of each show.

I think it's been two years since I've watched past the third episode. But I keep tuning in at the start of a new season. Stupid me.

Fix these two problems, and this show could work.

[intheblind]

Each season, I hold out hope that ABC has figured out the show's two fatal flaws, because they're so obvious. And each season, I'm disappointed.

1) DO NOT cast anyone who entertains any desire to develop a career in Hollywood.

2) DO NOT show previews of upcoming action, except for a 20-second clip at the end of each show.

I think it's been two years since I've watched past the third episode. But I keep tuning in at the start of a new season. Stupid me.

Fix these two problems, and this show could work.

I agree with this totally. Yes I do sleuth too but some of these people just get slammed way too much for what we think we see. The may have a better chance of surviving a relationship not having to defend them selves right off the bat.

[cabernetCally]

Do you honestly think anyone should marry someone after dating them and 24 othe women over a 6 week period. That alone is the greatest reason they do not last!

The appeal is getting to know the bach or bachettette and seeing some of the nut cases they bring on as potential mates and hoping to find that one "true love connection" or souldmate in the bunch. The hopeless romantics of the world.

There is a large group of fans ( and many other forums that focus on this show) that find enjoyment in watching!

[rdpch]

The appeal to people who watch seems varied. Some watchers cling to a fairy-tale notion that they will get to see two people fall in love. Some are simply intrigued by watching how people relate to one another in a difficult situation. Some like to identify with the personalities or relationships and relate what they see to what goes on in their own lives. Some like to watch the development of emotional train wrecks.

I agree that the show is fatally flawed, but I think the flaw is the basic concept, not the details of who is chosen for the show or what is revealed. The basic premise is that an ideal, life-long mate will be found among 25 contestants, and that at least one of the contestants will find the bachelor/ette to be an ideal life-long mate, and that somehow the process this show offers will lead them to each other in a circus atmosphere of TV crews and emotional anxiety. How could either party develop the respect and affection that underlies the kind of trusting relationship that is needed to figure out whether someone is an ideal mate?

The fatal flaw is that love doesn't grow out of competition.

[sweetpea]

I agree with you. I dont understand the appeal of this show to the participants. Then again, I dont understand why anyone would want to be on just about any reality tv show. Except for Amazing Race.

Yeah, I don't really see the appeal either, of shows like this or Big Brother. Now, I would go on The Amazing Race in a heartbeat, and possibly Survivor, although I don't think I'd do very well on that one. These reality dating shows are always looking for the entertainment value, so you have to expect that anything you do that's embarrasing is going to be aired. My skin isn't thick enough for that.

[Anemic Dog]

I know I'm lucky, but I did a lot of dating before I got married. I had long-term relationships where I was confused and wondered if I were doing the right thing. I couldn't imagine getting married.

When I met my wife, I knew we were going to be married after spending about the equivalent of four full days with her. She did, too.

As many women as I've dated on a "I'd settle down if this were The One," meaning spending as much as one evening of alone time, I doubt it totals even 25.

This show can work and has worked. Here's why the various seasons have failed.

Season 1: Alex and Amanda. He got the idea he would be a Hollywood star because the Bachelor was such a hit initially. Amanda seemed game, but Alex quickly moved on. It failed because he couldn't handle attention.

Season 2: Aaron and Helene. This one bugs me because Helene was really a sweetheart and Aaron apparently picked her out from the second he met her. This should have worked and I blame the format entirely. Ultimately, the stress of the situation was too much for Helene and she became very jealous. Aaron was turned off.

Season 3: Andrew and Jenn. It sure looked like this one would work out. But we've learned a lot about Jenn since then.

Season 4: Bob and Estella. Bob was just a poor casting choice. He was keeping a scorecard and trying to have sex with everything in sight.

Season 5: Jesse and Jessica. Jesse, the pro football quarterback, seemed to approach this from the wrong perspective. Maybe the girls were too young, maybe he just made poor choices. I've never disliked Jesse the way most of you have, so I'll blame this entirely on casting and his inability to see past a very pretty face.

Season 6: Byron and Mary. Looks good so far, and I thought Byron the Fish Boy was a dud from moment one.

Season 7: Charlie and Sarah Bee. Looks good so far, and when that one started, we all thought Bachelor was parodying itself.

Season 8: Travis and ? I'm a little skeptical, because the girls are so much younger this time and there's a very high number of Hollywood types still around.

B-Ette Season 1: Trista and Ryan. Well, there's a marriage.

B-Ette Season 2: Meredith and Ian. To date, this is the one I watched the least of because I really disliked Meredith. They gave it a decent run, but it wasn't a good match.

B-Ette Season 3: Jenn and herself. Yeah, that was a pretty poor joke. It's between her and the Bob season for biggest failure.

Anyhow, we have 1 marriage, 2 solid relationships, 2 long-term relationships that failed, 2 that failed quickly but it looked decent at first and 3 that flopped before the show even ended.

I think that means that the show is a mild success and it can work.

In addition to my caveats about production and casting, I'd add two more changes.

1) The Bachelor (or ette) must live in the mansion and there is group time every evening off-camera. There's a little room where the B can go and have private conversations one-on-one, but it's glassed in, so others can see what's going on.

2) The overnight dates are extended to three days, but no bedroom is provided and the clothes stay on (obviously, they have their own bedrooms if they feel the need for sleep).

[RandalR]

1) The Bachelor (or ette) must live in the mansion and there is group time every evening off-camera. There's a little room where the B can go and have private conversations one-on-one, but it's glassed in, so others can see what's going on.

This is a great idea that would drastically reduce the number of catfights and drunken tearful episodes.

Which is why Fleiss would reject it immediately.