Last week Charlie met four sets of potential in-laws. Four sets of insane, crazy, whacked-out potential in-laws! This week Charlie and the remaining girls are traveling to Aruba to drink at a fancy resort, drink on the beach, drink in the pool, drink on-board sailboats and buses, drink in the park, drink in the ocean and drink in the privacy of their own rooms.
"I hope I don't bump into one of the other girls while I'm on a date. I hope I didn't just give the producers ideas".
"Why do you keep asking me about the others girl's fantasy dates? It's like you're fishing for a specific response".
"We keep bumping into each other, first at the airport in Miami, then on the flight here, then at the rental car place and now here at this resort".
In case you were wondering what happens when the car company doesn't pay for the product placement? They blank out the badges.
"I was tired of being stuck in New York so I talked Fleiss into having the next Rose Ceremony here in Aruba".
"Why do I have to sit around waiting for the guy to call? I thought this was supposed to be a fantasy date".
"I know you don't like me calling you Big Sara, so how about I call you Sara Dub?"
"I don't like that either".
"Don't worry, it won't be for long".
"Someone as wonderful as I am doesn't need the protection of a seatbelt. Nothing bad can happen to me, I'm too pretty. God wouldn't allow it".
Well, that shot should certainly clear up any misconceptions of what kind of girl Sara Dub is.
For those that were wondering, that's a one-pack.
"After having a great picnic and a forty-pounder of rum, we were drunk enough to go on the Okefenokee bus".
"We gotta go back, I dropped a rattle when I was ralphing out the window".
"I decided to take a walk on the beach tonight because the producers said I had to. I had no idea I'd run into Charlie and Sara but fortunately there just happened to be a well lit spot for me to stand in".
"I haven't kissed Sara B. yet and I don't mind taking it slow when I have two other women doing the heavy lifting".
Oops! Boom mic. shadow!!!
"I like Charlie, but at the same time I wish Fleiss could have found someone who was attractive, smart, funny or at least someone who doesn't have a drinking problem to be the bachelor".
"This is so relaxing".
"Interesting, you use the word relaxing where I'd use the word boring".
"Sara B. is trying to be realistic and I can respect that but that kind of attitude doesn't belong on this show".
"What are you doing here?"
"This is our confrontation time, I thought the producers had it all set up".
"Oh that's right. Well let's get it over with".
"I tried some reverse-psychology on Krisily, by telling her not to talk about me to Charlie I'm hoping that's all she does. Not only will it make her look psycho but it's publicity for me and any publicity is good publicity".
"I have a job where I can get work anywhere. Plus I'm perfectly happy not working and letting you support me in the lifestyle to which I wish to become accustomed".
"The dinning room, Sara Dub and I did it right there on the table. The living room, we did it on the couch and on the floor. Obviously we did it in the bedroom and we did it out here on the balcony a couple of times".
Anatomy of a Conversation: Reality-TV Style!
Now pay attention, from this angle his hand is not on her shoulder.
From this angle his hand is on her shoulder.
Now his hand is on her shoulder from this angle.
His hand is still on her shoulder...
But now not only is his hand not on her shoulder they are in different positions and it looks like she's sitting on her feet.
"Coming up! We waste time telling you what's going to happen in five minutes, give away the best bits and mislead you about the rest".
"I'm in awe of all of this. It's so different than the trailer park back home".
"I've never traveled a lot. For family vacations we used to just drive until the car broke down, then we'd walk home".
"I feel pretty special today, I really do!"
ARGH! She remind me so much of someone when she says "I really do" but I can't figure out who! It's driving me bonkers!!!
"There's water underneath me!"
"You're still coming to grips with the concept of a boat, aren't you?"
"I don't think I've ever watched a sunset before".
"Oh come on!"
"No seriously, we could never afford one. I did get a sunrise for my birthday one year".
"This is going to be awesome".
"Of course it is, because I'm such good company!"
"Whoa, it felt like I was with Big Sara there for a second".
"She's already decided that I'm right for her and that's terrifying. She's obviously insane and could get violent at any moment".
"Would you like to have a cocktail, or a little somethin' somethin' up in my room?"
"Nana said not to do anything she wouldn't do. Fortunately there's nothing Nana wouldn't do?"
"We had our first kiss".
"Aww, that's sweet".
"Why didn't you tell me he slobbers like a hungry mastiff?"
Ick! Wash your feet if you're going to be barefoot on TV!
"If we get it on I'll be heartbroken if I never see you again. Do you know what I mean?"
"Yah, you want me to call you the next day".
"If Charlie doesn't give me a rose, he's an idiot".
While many people may disagree with your premiss, no one will disagree with your conclusion.
"Thanks for the great advice Nana".
"Well, umm, when we're umm, together, there, umm, are, it's sometimes, umm there is, ah, awkward, umm moments and umm, our conversation, umm isn't ah, flow, umm, very ah, well. I, umm, don't speak umm very well and umm, it's hard for umm, me to umm, complete, umm, a thought. And, then, umm, you umm, are the same. For this, umm to work umm, between us, umm at, umm, least one of umm, one of us, umm, has, umm should be, umm, able to umm, speak ah, well".