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Thread: 04/18 (unofficial) Screen Caps - One Jackass for Little Sara

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    FORT Fanatic Danger Bunny's Avatar
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    04/18 (unofficial) Screen Caps - One Jackass for Little Sara



    Last week, ummm, what did what happened last week? Let's see, Chuckles got drunk and slobbered on some of the girls, the girls were catty to each other and dressed like the sluts that they are. At the end of the show Chuckie handed out roses and made some of the girls very happy by not giving them one. It's getting really hard to tell these episodes apart, I could probably just repost last week's screen caps and no one would know the difference...



    "I like these panties, they can hold a lot of dollar bills".


    "I had this custom made to fit me".
    Can you get your money back?



    I told you, you wouldn't notice anything.


    "The girls keep asking me what I'm looking for but I don't know what I'm looking for. I've never looked for anything beyond looks before".


    He's got a "picnic backpack"?! I didn't know he was gay. Ah, that may be a little harsh, he was stuffing it full of doritos, sandwiches and what looks liek random stuff he found in the fridge.


    He's dialing a 555 phone number. So much for reality.


    "I'm going horseback riding. Yah! I'm going to die!"


    "Tell my parents I love them".


    That's not a horse, I know what a horse looks like and that's not a horse. Ooo, maybe they're going hunting! That would be something we've never seen on The Bachelor before.


    "I've never riden English before."
    "'Riden'!? The past tense of 'ride' is 'rode', you moron".


    "When I was nine my brother did a movie called Stand by Me".
    "So he's a lot more successful than you?"
    "Totally, the only work I get is when he makes the producers hire me too".


    That's cheating!


    Hey! They gave Sara a gimpy horse! It's got six legs, that's not fair.


    "You don't want to stand in the snow, do you? So here, sit on the bird crap covered fence".


    "We're being held prisoner in this house. So we did some 'special favours' for the producers and they're letting us out on day-parole to go shopping and to the spa".


    "I really really really really wish I could spend more time with him".
    That's only four 'really's. If you were being sincere you'd use at least five 'really's.


    "Do you miss Charlie?"
    "Charlie who?"


    "It sucks to know that a guy could end up with a girl who isn't intimidated by me".


    Now! they wear helmets?


    "I was engaged, not that long ago. I broke it off because he didn't want me doing this show".
    "I broke it off with my girl friend for the same reason".


    "I'm an open book. Not a book with a lot of big words in it, I'm more of an open comic book".


    "I've been crazy about you ever since the dance date".
    I guess her 'bootie dance' really works! Not that I ever doubted it.


    A kiss on the cheek! That's it? Is it possible Charlie actually likes and respects her? Wow, I didn't see that coming.


    "That was like, the best date I've ever been on in my entire life".
    You poor kid.


    He's going to fence a twelve year old girl? What a man!


    "How are you holding up? Doing good?"
    That kid just matured nine years in thirty minutes!


    "If I pretend to be incompetent, will you spend more time helping me?"


    "My plan is to pretend to be claustrophobic and get a pity rose, pretending to be afraid of horses worked for Sara B."


    "Ah! A bee, get away, get away".


    "Krisily claims that she's classtriphobic".
    "Classtriphobic"???


    "The faster you put it on the faster it's over with".
    "Don't rush me, it's not easy faking tears yah know".


    "I definitely deserve the award for best actress today".


    What kind of ugly underwear is that? Those aren't little hearts are they? Tell me those aren't little hearts, please!


    "I can eat at any time, I don't even have to be hungry. I can hardly wait until I'm married and I can eat whatever I want whenever I want".
    Telling the guy that you plan to balloon up after marriage? Probably not the best thing to do on a first date.


    "Are you the type of girl who likes to spend all night talking on the phone".
    "I'd rather use email".
    "I hate email, I don't like to read and I can't type".
    "I love to read, I read three books a week, I'd rather read than watch TV".
    "There's nothing I like better than watching TV, I watch 60-70 hours of TV a week".
    "I don't even own a TV, I find it all mindless drivel".
    "Really? I find most of it intellectually challenging".


    "At the end of the night it was a little awkward, what with us having absolutely nothing in common and him being completely hammered and all".


    "I like hanging out with everyone like this".
    "It's nice because the drama queens aren't here".


    "Charlie apologised for being a little 'tipsy' last night, that's OK we all have the occasional night like that".
    How unobservant do you have to be not to realize that Charlie is like that every night? He's been plastered on every date he's been on so far. Just look at him, he's drunk now!


    "I don't like you. I like you even less than I like Charlie and that's saying something".


    "I was not ready for the rose ceremony. I have to memorize three names, I need at least a couple of hours to study!"


    "Do you know what you're going to do?"
    "Yah, write the names down on my palm".


    "Again I apologize for the surprise but the fact is, screwing with your emotions makes for good TV".


    "If you came back to Canada with me I really think you'd fit in".
    As a Canadian, I'm a little offended by that. Oh wait, she's from Edmonton right? Never mind.


    "I was a little nervous about not getting a one-on-one date with you but then I remembered that I'm certifiably delusional, so now I'm happy that I'll get the chance to get to know you with my family".


    "Krisily".
    "Crap!"


    "Everybody be nice".
    "Like that'll happen".


    "We're going to the home towns, now I'm getting nervous. They don't let you fly when you're drunk anymore".

  2. #2
    Just Forting Around roseskid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Danger Bunny
    It's getting really hard to tell these episodes apart, I could probably just repost last week's screen caps and no one would know the difference...
    Don't kid yourself...we look forward to these like a kid looks forward to Santa.
    "I've never riden English before."
    "'Riden'!? The past tense of 'ride' is 'rode', you moron".
    I caught this too, and thought what did he say?!?

    And these just tickled me...
    "You don't want to stand in the snow, do you? So here, sit on the bird crap covered fence".

    "That was like, the best date I've ever been on in my entire life".
    You poor kid.

    "Krisily claims that she's classtriphobic".
    "Classtriphobic"???
    Thanks for reminding me of this lat one one...she said it several times, too.

    I'm sure he has said this more than once:
    "The faster you put it on the faster it's over with".
    These are just for good measure:
    "I can eat at any time, I don't even have to be hungry. I can hardly wait until I'm married and I can eat whatever I want whenever I want".
    Telling the guy that you plan to balloon up after marriage? Probably not the best thing to do on a first date.

    "At the end of the night it was a little awkward, what with us having absolutely nothing in common and him being completely hammered and all".

    "Again I apologize for the surprise but the fact is, screwing with your emotions makes for good TV".

    "If you came back to Canada with me I really think you'd fit in".
    As a Canadian, I'm a little offended by that. Oh wait, she's from Edmonton right? Never mind.
    Thank you, DB! You are the Screen Cap King! I don't know how you do it, but you are awesome...I could have quoted the whole thing! I loved the whole Chuckles/Anitra conversation, too, but thought it was too long to quote.
    Last edited by roseskid; 04-19-2005 at 06:05 PM.
    Love The Bachelor? Catch the recap for this season's sacrificial lamb lucky guy here in Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3, Episode 4, Episode 5, Episode 6 and Episode 7.

  3. #3
    Bachelor Addict berries's Avatar
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    You did it again, Master Screen Capper!! I see your gift of snark came back in full force! (You mentioned you were feeling a little 'off' last week...)
    Some of my favorites:
    Quote Originally Posted by Danger Bunny
    "I'm an open book. Not a book with a lot of big words in it, I'm more of an open comic book".
    In this shot it looks like the poor kid just saw Kimberley in her underwear!


    "How are you holding up? Doing good?"
    That kid just matured nine years in thirty minutes!
    And I loved this one! Krisily's "pajamas" should be a good indication of what she'd look like as a wife!

    "I don't like you. I like you even less than I like Charlie and that's saying something".

  4. #4
    FORT Phanatic PHan's Avatar
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    Thanks again for all your hard work, DB. Too much to quote. Loved it all. My sides hurt from laughing. Even got my hubby hooked on your snarkyness.

    Keep' em coming.

  5. #5
    Bachelor Addict berries's Avatar
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    I'm sorry... I forgot to mention HILARIOUS!! Absolutely hilarious!!!!!!!!

  6. #6
    all hot air Ana Bannana's Avatar
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    Well done DangerBunny!! I wonder if classtrophobia is contagious...?

  7. #7
    Premium Member jelle's Avatar
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    04/18 (unofficial) Screen Caps - One Jackass for Little Sara

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    "I've never ridden English before."
    "'Riden'!? The past tense of 'ride' is 'rode', you moron".

    I've (I have) never ridden ...
    Sorry - The past participle of ride is ridden.

    I rode (on a horse) English (style) before
    I have ridden (on a horse) English (style) before

    Whatever ... Your screencaps are wonderful. I laughted so hard I snorted! The kids think I'm nutty as usual. You made a bright spot in a bi*** of a day!
    Last edited by jelle; 04-19-2005 at 09:30 PM.
    "Know that you are not the master of your days, but the pioneer of their purpose"
    "My policy: no stone throwing regardless of housing situation." moanamarie
    "well, I am on the right side of the grass." brad womack
    "Create your future.You are not a victim of the world but the hero of your own life"

  8. #8
    FORT Fanatic Danger Bunny's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jelle
    Quote Originally Posted by Danger Bunny
    "I've never riden English before."
    "'Riden'!? The past tense of 'ride' is 'rode', you moron".
    I've (I have) never ridden ...
    Sorry - The past participle of ride is ridden.
    Stop ruining the joke by pointing out that I don't know how to spell!!!
    I looked up 'riden' and it's not in the dictionary. So I stand by my joke, 'riden' is not a word.

  9. #9
    Premium Member dagwood's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Danger Bunny
    "When I was nine my brother did a movie called Stand by Me".
    "So he's a lot more successful than you?"
    "Totally, the only work I get is when he makes the producers hire me too".

    "I'm an open book. Not a book with a lot of big words in it, I'm more of an open comic book".

    "How are you holding up? Doing good?"
    That kid just matured nine years in thirty minutes!

    "I don't even own a TV, I find it all mindless drivel".
    "Really? I find most of it intellectually challenging".


    Great caps, Danger Bunny. I look forward to these every week.

  10. #10
    Premium Member jelle's Avatar
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    It really is a great joke, and sooooo fitting too. Sorry if I ruined the joke, but I thought that made it even funnier!

    Charlie is a trip. a hoot. a dufus. but damn I think he is funny!

    I really think he tries awfully hard to appear as dumb as he acts. He has wonderful one liners, a quick wit, and deft perception (sometimes) that make me question the variation between how he is acting and his real Intelligence quotience.
    "Know that you are not the master of your days, but the pioneer of their purpose"
    "My policy: no stone throwing regardless of housing situation." moanamarie
    "well, I am on the right side of the grass." brad womack
    "Create your future.You are not a victim of the world but the hero of your own life"

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