Last week, ummm, what did what happened last week? Let's see, Chuckles got drunk and slobbered on some of the girls, the girls were catty to each other and dressed like the sluts that they are. At the end of the show Chuckie handed out roses and made some of the girls very happy by not giving them one. It's getting really hard to tell these episodes apart, I could probably just repost last week's screen caps and no one would know the difference...
"I like these panties, they can hold a lot of dollar bills".
"I had this custom made to fit me".
Can you get your money back?
I told you, you wouldn't notice anything.
"The girls keep asking me what I'm looking for but I don't know what I'm looking for. I've never looked for anything beyond looks before".
He's got a "picnic backpack"?! I didn't know he was gay. Ah, that may be a little harsh, he was stuffing it full of doritos, sandwiches and what looks liek random stuff he found in the fridge.
He's dialing a 555 phone number. So much for reality.
"I'm going horseback riding. Yah! I'm going to die!"
"Tell my parents I love them".
That's not a horse, I know what a horse looks like and that's not a horse. Ooo, maybe they're going hunting! That would be something we've never seen on The Bachelor before.
"I've never riden English before."
"'Riden'!? The past tense of 'ride' is 'rode', you moron".
"When I was nine my brother did a movie called Stand by Me".
"So he's a lot more successful than you?"
"Totally, the only work I get is when he makes the producers hire me too".
Hey! They gave Sara a gimpy horse! It's got six legs, that's not fair.
"You don't want to stand in the snow, do you? So here, sit on the bird crap covered fence".
"We're being held prisoner in this house. So we did some 'special favours' for the producers and they're letting us out on day-parole to go shopping and to the spa".
"I really really really really wish I could spend more time with him".
That's only four 'really's. If you were being sincere you'd use at least five 'really's.
"Do you miss Charlie?"
"It sucks to know that a guy could end up with a girl who isn't intimidated by me".
Now! they wear helmets?
"I was engaged, not that long ago. I broke it off because he didn't want me doing this show".
"I broke it off with my girl friend for the same reason".
"I'm an open book. Not a book with a lot of big words in it, I'm more of an open comic book".
"I've been crazy about you ever since the dance date".
I guess her 'bootie dance' really works! Not that I ever doubted it.
A kiss on the cheek! That's it? Is it possible Charlie actually likes and respects her? Wow, I didn't see that coming.
"That was like, the best date I've ever been on in my entire life".
You poor kid.
He's going to fence a twelve year old girl? What a man!
"How are you holding up? Doing good?"
That kid just matured nine years in thirty minutes!
"If I pretend to be incompetent, will you spend more time helping me?"
"My plan is to pretend to be claustrophobic and get a pity rose, pretending to be afraid of horses worked for Sara B."
"Ah! A bee, get away, get away".
"Krisily claims that she's classtriphobic".
"The faster you put it on the faster it's over with".
"Don't rush me, it's not easy faking tears yah know".
"I definitely deserve the award for best actress today".
What kind of ugly underwear is that? Those aren't little hearts are they? Tell me those aren't little hearts, please!
"I can eat at any time, I don't even have to be hungry. I can hardly wait until I'm married and I can eat whatever I want whenever I want".
Telling the guy that you plan to balloon up after marriage? Probably not the best thing to do on a first date.
"Are you the type of girl who likes to spend all night talking on the phone".
"I'd rather use email".
"I hate email, I don't like to read and I can't type".
"I love to read, I read three books a week, I'd rather read than watch TV".
"There's nothing I like better than watching TV, I watch 60-70 hours of TV a week".
"I don't even own a TV, I find it all mindless drivel".
"Really? I find most of it intellectually challenging".
"At the end of the night it was a little awkward, what with us having absolutely nothing in common and him being completely hammered and all".
"I like hanging out with everyone like this".
"It's nice because the drama queens aren't here".
"Charlie apologised for being a little 'tipsy' last night, that's OK we all have the occasional night like that".
How unobservant do you have to be not to realize that Charlie is like that every night? He's been plastered on every date he's been on so far. Just look at him, he's drunk now!
"I don't like you. I like you even less than I like Charlie and that's saying something".
"I was not ready for the rose ceremony. I have to memorize three names, I need at least a couple of hours to study!"
"Do you know what you're going to do?"
"Yah, write the names down on my palm".
"Again I apologize for the surprise but the fact is, screwing with your emotions makes for good TV".
"If you came back to Canada with me I really think you'd fit in".
As a Canadian, I'm a little offended by that. Oh wait, she's from Edmonton right? Never mind.
"I was a little nervous about not getting a one-on-one date with you but then I remembered that I'm certifiably delusional, so now I'm happy that I'll get the chance to get to know you with my family".
"Everybody be nice".
"Like that'll happen".
"We're going to the home towns, now I'm getting nervous. They don't let you fly when you're drunk anymore".