Just for you berries...
Parts one and two are posted, I have blisters on my fingers, carpal tunnel syndrome, a stabbing pain in my eyes from staring at my fuzzy monitor and because I have to watch and rewatch this show, rewinding over scenes dozens of times to get the best shot I'm sure my IQ has dropped twenty points. Despite all that I'm going to soldier on, I've only got half-an hour of show left and besides, this is giving me one heck of a Workers Comp. claim.
"I thought Sara was a pretty girl but I was wrong. The girl's a knockout!"
How drunk was he during the speed-dating? I came to that conclusion after seeing her for half a second during the show's opening credits.
"What's going on? What are these cameras doing here? You're not going to put this on TV are you? My wife will kill me if she sees me here".
"I'm shocked, I'm baffled. How did you find us?"
"I slipped a P.A. a hundred bucks and she spilled the beans".
"Hugh Hefner can only handle seven, I handled nine!"
Hugh Hefner is seventy eight years old! Let's see how well you can handle nine in another FIFTY years!
"I personally don't think this whole scenario is me. So I'm going to actualize my potential and extradite my actuality from this temporal location".
"All the dancing, drinking, having fun. Maybe that was me twenty or thirty years ago.. wait let me do the math. Ten, ten years ago".
"That's OK, I understand. My Mom's the same way, she doesn't like having fun anymore either".
"I didn't need any more time, I'm not your girl. Good luck".
"You shouldn't sell yourself short, I've got a bit of a Oedipus Complex".
"You're such a sweet boy".
"If Charlie had handed out the last rose it would have been mine. I know this because I'm incredibly self-centered".
"Geitan didn't come home last night. Maybe she had a midnight AARP meeting".
"So I was thinking maybe a little rock climbing and volleyball".
"Sounds great! Bye. Oh fantastic, now I have to try to impress the guy while I'm all stinky and sweaty".
"Maybe I can get a note to get out of this. I could always get out of gym at school".
"I don't know what to expect from today, I'm looking for a little fun, a little humour, a little spunk. I'm looking for girls on trampolines".
"Six girls, two roses, one already has a rose, so that leaves... ummm. Six minus one, minus two roses... carry the three... Hey! Who's got a calculator I can borrow?"
"I didn't really fit into the group because I've got the athletic ability of a Posable Malibu Barbie. I'm a model! I'm just supposed to look good, I'm not supposed to do anything".
"And you fence?"
"I did fence".
"Picket or chain-link?"
"What do you like to do on a weekend?"
"Play golf, watch football, drink beer, eat chips, hang out in my underwear. What do you like to do?"
"I like to go shopping, go to museums, art shows, the theater, opera. I like to read poetry, have a picnic in the park, volunteer with a kid's shelter, visit people in a retirement home".
[Set sarcasm mode to kill]
These two were just made for each other.
"Physical exertion? Me? You're kidding right?"
"Last night we had a lot of fun, but I was so drunk I don't remember most of it".
"I'm a single Mom, I have a nine year old daughter".
"That's cool, tell her to call me in nine years".
"I'm glad you got that off your chest, otherwise I might have started to like you. I'll have to keep you around for a couple of rounds so that I don't look like too much of a jerk".
"She's hot, now let's see if we can have a conversation without her making me feel ignorant".
"Ugh, big words, hard to understand".
By L.A. standards she's 30 lbs overweight but she's just right by my standards! Woo Hoo!
What's with all the "little extras" on her face?
"We had a woman leave the show last night but she's decided that she wasn't humiliated enough and has decided to return".
If she had a shot at getting a rose, she blew it by ignoring Charlie and just walking past him.
"I'm just here to get the absolute maximum out of my fifteen minutes".
"I'm glad you like to go out and have a good time, so do I. I just happen to think that BINGO is a lot more fun than partying in a speak easy".
"I think I would be good for him, I think he'd be my buddy".
Hint for future Bachelorettes: Giving the "friend" speech, not a good idea at the rose ceremony.
"Any final words before we start handing out roses?"
"Yes. I love you, I've loved you since I first applied to be on the show and had no idea who you were. I love you and if you don't give me a rose I'll stalk you until I die".
"I want to tell him that I love him because of ... (Brrrraaaap) who he is".
Credit for this line goes to Zinnia, I swiped it from her post in another thread.
Oh thank god it's finally over. 123 images! That's insane! If I ever plan to cap a two-hour episode again please remind me of the physical pain and mental stress I experienced on this show. If I still want to do it after that then just hit me with something big and heavy. Like a pickup for example.