I wish I could have seen it and heard it too. We're all so twisted.
Originally Posted by Pomeraniac
And probably quite happy smell-o-vision has never been invented.
Originally Posted by Pomeraniac
Just to clear this up , there was no temp site , and we thought maybe no fort forever when the bachelor was airing , so the whining isn't really appreciated.
Originally Posted by dberk
Charlie and sleazebags were the ultimate least of our concerns when faced with losing 1.5 million posts and 2.5 years of work.
I caught that, too. Yet another reason this season should be fun to watch. I love the girls going at each others throats at the Rose Ceremony.
Originally Posted by Zinnia
Danger Bunny, if you can, I would love to see screencaps of this one. It would be absolutely hilarious.
I'm a fan of Danger Bunny's hilarious commentary to go along with his screen caps too... But I think he was saying that on this show, everyone seems to be just saying aloud all the snarky things they had been thinking, and DB just meant that there wouldn't be anything funny/snarky left for him to say! Tough one!
Originally Posted by dagwood
My original thought was this would be a tough show to screen cap in my usual style, when the star of the show is saying things like "I'm not a rocket scientist" where do I go with that? I thought "I can't come up with better captions than what the people on the show are saying!"
Originally Posted by dagwood
But I gave it a try and you know what? It's easy! It's one of the easiest shows I've ever capped. A two hour show is a lot to cap and I'll have to do it in pieces but look for the part one later this evening.
Woo-hoo!!! Can't wait!!!
is mostly lurking...
I must have been so distracted by her obvious craziness and all of the crying that I missed the fart. BWAH! That's absolutely hilarious. By the way, I particularly love the way you described it. Heee.
Originally Posted by Zinnia
My persona fav from seasons past and this one as well--the first person subject pronoun made into a possessive: "Jenny and I's conversation." Another: the morphing of two forms of the past tense into one, as in Geitan's "I should have gaven him a chance."
Originally Posted by onewally
I finally watched the tape of the premier episode and Iíve had some nagging thoughts.
1. Whatís with all the references to "girls," for crying out loud??? Throughout the whole show the bachelorettes were called ďGIRLS.Ē Nobody ever said the word ďwomenĒ in this show, not once. Well, I take that back Ė Chris said it once during the Rose Ceremony. The bachelorettes were referred to as GIRLS throughout the entire episode, by everyone: by Chris, by Bum-Chin, and by even the bachelorettes themselves. That was odd and somewhat offensive to an old broad like me.
Since they insisted on calling the bachelorettes "girls" then I think a more fitting term, perhaps, would have been,
ď XXX GIRLS XXX GIRLS XXX GIRLS XXX.Ē
2. Siomara Ė my first thought was, ďSayonara, SiomaraĒ but then I heard that she pronounces her name, ďSEE-more-ah. So maybe a more appropriate name for her would be ďSee-LESSA,Ē because personally, ďIíd like to see lessa this chick.Ē
3. Kindleís voice is almost as low as Bum-Chinís. During their two-minute chat I really couldnít tell which one of them was talking unless I looked really, really close at my TV screen to see whose lips were moving!!! With her deep voice, I think Kindleís really a dude.
4. Danushka? Um, letís just call her Douche-ka. Yeah.
5. That Brownstone where the women are staying? Who the heck decided to call it that? Itís neither brown nor made of stone. To me itís the NeitherBrownNorStone. The outside of it reminds me a lot of the Addamsí Familyís house. I wonder if that was intentional. . . .
6. Body Shots? I admit, I had no idea what those are. But thatís because (1) I havenít drank in almost 19 years and (2) Iím wicked old (and not too hip).
7. The Rose Ceremony was a hoot, and it was very different from any other Rose Ceremony on any previous series. It was more like a combination Rose Ceremony and The Women Tell All, all rolled up into one big, nasty Jell-O wrestling match.
Iíll transcribe it in its entirety for anyone who missed seeing it. The quotes are real, although I refer to some of the speakers by my nicknames for them:
Chris and Bum-Chin walk into the NeitherBrownNorStone where all the women are gathered for the Rose Ceremony.
Bum-Chin: Hi girls. How are you?
Chris (to Bum-Chin): Welcome to the Ladiesí Loft. You nervous?
Bum-Chin (to camera): Walking into the room sucks. Iím looking at one side with girls with roses and looking at one side with girls without roses. Itís not easy staring down twenty girls and sending some girls home.
Chris (to the women): As youíve all seen this week, things are very different this time around. The Rose Ceremony is no exception. So before Bum-Chin hands out the five remaining roses weíd like to give each of you the opportunity to speak your mind to Bum-Chin and to each other. Ladies whoíve already received a rose, this includes you. But before we do that, we had a woman leave the show last night, and sheís decided to return. (GASPS, LAUGHTER)
Chris: Geitan. . .
Bum-Chin: How are you?
Geitan (to Bum-Chin): Hi, good.
Geitan (to the women): Hi, hi.
Geitan (to Bum-Chin): Iím just here to tell you, Bum-Chin, that Iím here for love. But I also want you to know that I was very uncomfortable in last nightís surroundings, and I felt that my integrity was being compromised, and I donít believe that dancing provocatively and acting like a sleaze or trashy is me. I left because I was uncomfortable.
Grizzly, who already has a rose: I thought that the reason why you left was because you didnít think that Bum-Chin was your type, not because you felt uncomfortable.
Geitan: I did say that, and I know nothing about Bum-Chin. I pre-judged him and I should have given him an opportunity to talk to me and get to know him better.
Sarah B.: I would like to say, on that note, that I had a great time last night and I love to go out and have a good time and I would love to get a rose just so that we can get to know each other better.
Geitan (to Sarah B.): Iím glad you like to go out and have a good time Ė so do I. I just do not need to compromise my behavior.
Sarah W. , who already has a rose (to Geitan): I donít feel like dancing provocatively is a negative thing. And just because thatís not your style of things, doesnít make it wrong. Or trashy.
Douche-ka (to Geitan): I think you left because you knew you werenít getting a rose, thatís what I think.
Kerry, who already has a rose (to Geitan): But now youíre coming back, and youíre deciding that you can get another chance.
Geitan (to Kerry): Iím not deciding that, Bum-Chinís going to decide that. And Iím happy that he, that he can make that decision.
Kerry: Well thatís great, but I just think that, thatís really not very cool.
Kyshawn (to everyone): Youíre missing the point. The point is that thereís a hot guy standing here who needs to know whoís going to be great for him. And I think Iíd be good for him. I think heíd be my buddy, I think we could have a good time, and I say Ďthank you, for a great time last night.í
Kristen (to Bum-Chin): I want to know, what made the difference with the girls that received the roses as opposed to the girls that havenít?
Bum-Chin (to Chris): Should I respond?
Chris (to Bum-Chin): Itís your show.
Bum-Chin: I am overwhelmed with how many girls are here, and girls got roses for different reasons. Remember, girls got roses in the first two minutes of something which is, are different reasons from the girls that got roses in the first date, the second date, and the third date. There are just Ė something happens there and I say, ĎThis is a moment to give a rose.í You know, I came through the door, and Iíve gotta pick from twenty five. So, I mean, believe me, I was scared. And I was scared in the two minutes, and believe me, Iím scared now, and I donít think itís gonna get any easier.
Douche-ka: My question is, if I did a body shot would I have got a rose? (LAUGHTER) Is that the kind of thing youíre looking for?
Bum-Chin: No. If you want me to tell you, uh you didnít get a rose because I think that you were perpetrating a fraud, to be honest with you. I didnít think -- you came out acting like a big shot with sunglasses and a purse, and all these things, and at the end of the day, you know, I donít think maybe youíre here for the right reasons.
Douche-ka: Sunglasses makes me here for the wrong reasons?
Douche-ka: Iíll make a mental note on that one.
Grizzly (to Douche-ka): Saying on tape, when heís not around, that you donít want to be here isnít the right reason, either.
Douche-ka (to Grizzly): Are you here for the right reason, though?
Grizzly (to Douche-ka): I will totally admit to the fact that when I came here I came for the experience and for the game, because Iím competitive. I may be the witch, the bitch of the house, thatís fine, you can all call me whatever you want. I feared coming back to the house, with the whole body shot thing, because I feared everyone saying that thatís the only reason that I got the rose.
Douche-ka (to Grizzly): That doesnít make you a bitch, that makes you a slut.
(GASPS, LAUGHTER, SHOCK)
Grizzly (to Douche-ka): Thank you very much for that.
Douche-ka (to Grizzly): Youíre welcome.
Grizzly (to Douche-ka): Really. But I have a rose and you donít so. . . .
Chris: All right, weíre about to wrap this up and move on. Last words from anybody before we do this, before we hand out the five remaining roses?
Kristine (to Bum-Chin): Yeah, I want to say something. Iíve been praying for you and for your heart, and if my name is written on your heart I would be so honored. I really enjoyed the other night and I felt a very special connection, and I hope you felt that, too.
Chris: All right, Bum-Chin. We heard enough? There are still five roses to be handed out. So Bum-Chin, when youíre ready.
Bum-Chin then hands the roses out to Sarah B., Kara (the single mom who had her baby at 15), Carrie (who felt robbed when Mr. Kindle got the rose) Gina Maria, and Megan.
Geitan (after the Rose Ceremony, completing the thorough humiliation of herself before a national television audience): I came here to look Bum-Chin in the eye and set the record straight and I took some heat for it. There are some very nasty girls in this house. Some of these girls are so nasty I would be scared to sit on their toilet seat. I hope that the nice ones will prevail and the nasty ones will go home.
Zinnia described the whole EXIT FART just perfectly. I am still laughing about it and thereís no need for me to mention it further. IT WAS A RIOT.
So those are my thoughts on the premier of Bum-Chinís The Bachelor series. I was so unsettled when this beloved web site was down last Monday night, and I really missed discussing this episode with everyone. Iím just so very relieved that the great staff here was able to salvage this place completely. What a wonderful relief.
Now the only thing left for me to do, as I anxiously wait for next Mondayís episode to air, is to re-hang all the pictures in my house that were knocked off-center when the sound of Kristineís EXIT FART reverberated through my new stereo televisionís speakers. What a mess that fart made of my house!!!
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