Yes, but they are not the same person. He shouldn't have to make a choice between Trish and his friendship with Jenny. I think it's odd for a friendship to be based in any way on coercion, as in "I'll be your friend if you do A but not if you do B" ("do" in the non-biblical sense).
Originally Posted by Amy Lee
That's the point--true friends should support regardless of your decision.
Originally Posted by Amy Lee
Friendship should not be conditional
I agree with RDPCH, a true friend does not give an ultimatum and possibly withold friendship if the other person doesn't do what s/he is told. There is a world of difference between offering an opinion or a different perspective on a particular situation and saying "I will not continue to be your friend if you choose a romantic partner I don't like." To me, that's emotional blackmail and very manipulative. Additionally, there are always women who take the 'confidante' role to high profile men and have a strong need to exert power and influence that way. I knew numerous women like this when I was in college, they were the ones that did not necessarily date or bed athletes, but rather were constantly positioning themselves as "best friend" types. Even though Jenny S. is married, she may derive some sort of satisfaction from being "the best friend of an NFL QB" [third string though he may be] and be quite protective of her role.
As for the married man issue, to say 'neither of them gave two s**ts about it' is silly, none of us know the circumstances.
Lastly, I'm not sure when Jenny and Nick got married, but if they got married right out of school, she may not have spent much time in the dating pool. She may be one of those lucky types that meet their life partner in college and stay with them. As such, I really don't like her being so judgemental towards a woman that has been single for a while and might [ala Carey Bradshaw] be in a postion to encounter different and potentially awkward situations and make mistakes.
I've been a bad, bad girl
I think that these kinds of circumstances make it understandable for Jenny to certainly reconsider her friendship with Jesse. The point of The Bachelor is for him to no longer be one at the end of the show. If he chooses a slimy gold-digger because of an act that the woman puts on and doesn't trust the counsel of his friends, it calls his values into question and Jenny has every right to reconsider if she wants to be friends with this person. Friends should not obstruct friends from going through with stupid decisions like this once they have aired their opinions - but they should not be forced to support something objectionable on a moral level. Bad behavior should not be tolerable just because it comes from your friend.
As for bad behavior - now I'm surprised that Jenny is so worried about Trish's sordid past, since Jesse himself has been a man-whore. She heard it herself. No double standards here - maybe Trish is looking for The One too, and is done with her "sowing her wild oats" days. If Jesse can do it, so can Trish or any of the other women.
I don't see a problem with Jenny reconsidering their friendship, if that's how she feels. (To me that would suggest a weakness or an insecurity--as Six Degrees points out--in the friendship). The problem is using her friendship as leverage against a decision she doesn't like, in order to get what she wants.
Furthermore, I'm not convinced that Jenny sees the "real" Trish whereas Jesse does not (see my post in "Trish" thread, which I won't repeat here).
I certainly don't see Jesse as doing anything immoral. If the "moral" issue is Trish's attitude toward casual sex, then she ought to ditch Jesse too.
My baby Althea
While I feel that Jenny was a bit strong in her statement that she would never be able to be his friend...etc, etc...if he picked Trish....perhaps she felt that since she has a limited time to get her "information" to Jesse, she needed to be strong in her statements to emphasize her point. Trish, regardless of her past, isn't doing a great job of coming across as a nice person. She is making statements flippantly and casually about things that most people take seriously such as sex and money. However, I also think that Jesse needs to figure this out for himself and hopefully Trish will state something to him that shows him the side of her that we are all seeing and disliking. She has done an excellent job of putting on two faces, one significantly more unlikeable than the other... It would seem to me that Jenny is just trying to make Jesse understand that this girl wants exposure, attention and drama and not much else.
I've been a bad, bad girl
Imagine if you were Jenny - you are close friends with Jesse. Why should Nick and Jenny feel comfortable inviting Jesse and Trish over to their home if she is such an objectionable woman? Why should they feel comfortable in her presence, seeing impending doom every time they go out with them? I could seriously see the friendship ending even without the ultimatum. I think Jenny was just being honest, and giving Jesse notice of how strongly she dislikes Trish.
Heads up! Jenny S. will be on The View tomorrow - Tues. April 20th.
Boom Bazooka Joe!
No, if you dont agree with something a friend is doing, why support them on it?? nope!
Originally Posted by rdpch
Last edited by Amy Lee; 04-19-2004 at 05:02 PM.
What I've said is that while you may not agree with what a friend is doing, you should respect them and whatever their decision making process is, as well as their right to do what they feel is proper without having to worry about losing your friendship. I'm sure many of us have had friends who have chosen partners that we don't like, and while you can voice your opinion, it is still appropriate to respect that your friend may disagree with you or maybe even needs to 'learn for himself' what you've already decided. Bottom line, I would not hold my friendship contingent on somebody dating who I told them to.
Go Six Degrees!
You have a succinctness for writing what I'm thinking. I find you very intelligent...you're f***king fabulous!
Originally Posted by Six Degrees
Last edited by Blobsucks; 04-19-2004 at 05:14 PM.
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