Ok this is getting serious . Not only do we have the live reunion of Meredith and Ian , a showdown between Mer and Matthew , but inexplicably people are waiting outside in the freezing cold to ask questions in New York city. Chrishost and co are in LA , so this makes no sense to me at all , but whatever. I can’t help looking for Dick Clarke.

Chris intro’s Mer. and yegods, she has broken into the Morticia Adams costume vault for her dress. What is wrong with this woman? There are reams of stylish outlets in LA, and don’t give me that “she’s tall” crap. Most models are too. It appears that she and Chris are chummy ,as he tells us how Mer has been telling him for months she can’t wait until this is over. Mer interrupts his story with a “Lets get to the good stuff.” Ah not so fast . Chris has to make us wait while he points out that 80% of people online though it was Matthew. Yeah well Chris didn’t ask us , probably because we diss him. Our poll said about 54.8 percent Ian. Our folks didn’t buy into the crappy Fleiss editing . They recap the final moments Imsosceeeredbabyimcrazyaboutyo u. Even Mer is laughing at the dorkyness of it all.

Finally Ian gets to come out. He’s dressed head to toe in black, kind of like a cat burgler . Get a new job Ian? He matches Morticia anyway. He is still the gushy Ian . “I’m so happy I don’t know how to begin” “it’s been painful to be apart” Mer just wants to go to dinner.
One of the freezy New Yorkers asks him why he proposed.. Gusher replies how his walls came tumbling down and that he was powerless , all the rules went out the window. Note to Mer . Don’t ever leave this guy in charge of the kids . Pandemonium will rule.
He pulls out the ring to finish his sentence as we all know his proposal consisted of Will You? Even Chris jokes - will you what ? Fix the roof ? Ha Ha , that wasn’t even written on a cue card Chris . Very nice. Ian re-proposes with a “will you marry me - Baby", and regives the “somethin somethin” as he calls it.

An audience member asks how Mer felt when he had said that as soon as he stepped out of the limo he “knew”. Mer replies she was shocked. Ian expands on it by saying he had been expecting an interesting experience , but as soon as he saw her he knew he was in trouble. Aww. Even Miz cynical here has to admit that was sweet. I don’t think they could make stuff up this sappy .
We next get to see some outtakes.
Chris doing a bachelor impression, then telling Meredith to stand back because he looks short,
Matt wrecking a champagne cork,
Mer making faces and calling herself a dork ( Told ya )
Ryan acting bizarre with birds on his head.
And some kind of weird bachelor pad activity.
Again - show this stuff during the show run. It makes it not so boring.

Ian is now telling us how he’s never said ‘I love you’ to anyone before.
Does anyone remember that Friends episode where Rachel is dating Bruce Willis and he’s go back over tough guy ? Well she wants him to open up, and when he does he’s weeping and wailing and carrying on til she dumps him for being a wimp . Yeah well, you might probably figure out why I thought of it.

There’s a lady on the phone from Texas for a question, and I figure that Meredith is gonna get a can of whoop-ass opened on her treatment of the Lone-Star boys. Instead she gushes too, and asks when she ‘knew’ it was Ian. Not to say Mer was a liar , but she said pretty early on. Okay then the “I don’t want to choose” snotfest-crying jag” on the finale must have been for an Emmy. Best performance in a reality tv series - Nominated - Johnny Fairplay - “my Grandma died”, Meridith Phillips - “I don’t want to choose”, Zach from P-Ho- “I’m gonna get 30 of my friends to come after you” I call Bulls*** , but that's just me.

She was then asked how difficult it was to keep a secret. Mer alludes to the ABC legal team in saying it was easy because it involved a lot of money she didn’t have. Ian called bro and Daddy “right away “ but didn’t tell another soul. I can feel those attorneys bristle , but since they didn’t squeal I don’t think there are any repercussions.

A poor freezy old guy in NYC asks If it concerns her that she hasn’t met the family. She replies she understood because when she was on Bachelor , her mom didn’t want them in the house. I’m thinking Mer has conveniently forgotten Lanny’s mom. Man, could you imagine being faced with that post engagement?

Chris goes into what looks like the basement where they have poor Matthew stashed. They go back over his rejection , and I’m shocked to find Matt still freaking out over it. Then I remember his agent got him into this , and he may not have known what the deal was when he signed on. He tells us that after Mer had asked for the ring in Portland , he had just assumed it was him. ( He wasn’t aware Mer was trying for that Emmy apparently) He asks how she could have gone from asking for a ring from him, to taking one from someone else days later. They do not do things like this in Texas. I’m almost teary and want to go hold on to those abs him.
Ian leaves the stage (gracefully we’re told) so that Matt and Mer can have it out. Matt asks her the same question ,and she hems and haws, and says something about wanting to find out where his head was at. She tells him how soooorry she is and that she feels horrible. Matt is so not buying her line. She then turns tactic, and tells him the reason was just Ian and that may be hard (for your Texas sized ego , but tough). Matt goes watery eyed and says her explanation “helps”. You guys are “so brave” sobs Chris. He then asks Matthew if he thinks she made a mistake and he answers that no, she followed her heart. *sob* Oh this is great stuff kiddies. He only sensed she was tense on the last date , and thought it was because she was going to have to tell Ian. Matthew said after the fact it didn’t seem real. Oh man , that agent is SO fired.
Ian comes back on stage for a manly hug from Matt. He is practically saintly when he says he is sorry he got hurt , hopes he can go on , but then adds a dig by saying that only Meredith and he know “what it’s like”. Meredith tells us she didn’t pick carefree over responsible and that he’s a lot of things you “don’t see”. Oh do tell. Ian adds that he’s going back to work “someday”.

Chris Ian and Meredith give a toast to the future. They have either dragged Matt offstage or his rabid fans have .Chris gives them a trip to Sao Paulo to meet the parents. I know how classy those ladies are there. I hope Mer finally talks to a stylist before departing or the parents are going to wonder what the hell he’s hauled home.

We get a seek peek at Jesse Palmer our next Bachelor *sigh* and all is right with the world. Matt I’m sure will do okay if the screaming fans are any indication.

Thanks for watching with us. We’ll be back on April 7 to drool over some more abs. enygma@fansofrealitytv.com