After the Rose - Please Don't Make Them Laugh
Well what would a bachelor show be without rehashing what happened. I wasn’t disappointed . Didn’t I watch this last night ? I mean why would you watch ‘After the Rose’ unless you watched The Bachelor? Another secret of life we will never know. Kind of like - why do people go see Wayne Newton?
Anyway, back to Chris and the exciting show. Estella comes on stage looking tanned and maybe botoxed. Between her and Olinda from JM2 there’s a lot ammunition why you should never go out in the sun without SPF45.
Estella is wearing a crochet potholder from the 60’s and jeans. Surely to god, Ms Rodeo drive could have coughed up a better outfit.
Chris asks when she fell in love , and she replied when he put his hand on my breast – I mean chest the first night. She tries to deny it , but yeah that was pretty much it. She then said it was when he met her mom. Estella told Chris it was hard to be together then yanked apart. Apparently some clandestine hook ups followed , as there were allusions to disguises , and out of the way places. How do you hide someone 6’4” ? Please tell me, as Id like to hide a couple of cute hockey players so my hubby doesn’t find out. Estella also didn’t care for watching the romance unfold between Bob and Kelly Jo. She then resorts back to cue cards by declaring she was ready to go on this experience.
Chris then reunites Bob and Estella. He gives her back the most expensive “promise” ring ever. She had better get a real engagement ring if time comes or he’s a cheap-ass. Bob is excited as well about not hiding any longer. What did they have him doing? He calls Estella’s antics the first night, a brilliant tactical move, and repeats the hand on the breast joke. There you have it. Let him cop a feel in the first 5 seconds and you’re golden. Future contestants pay attention, but I hope that doesn’t mean that the next bachelorette gets a crotch grab upon meeting. This is family hour you know.
Bob says being put together then ripped apart is like the biggest joke you could play on someone.
Estella’s mom says it was beautiful the way she conducted herself, and that Bob has lots of her dad’s traits. I wonder what Lee Ann’s mom thinks of her daughters “I’m no bridesmaid” performance.
We then got to see some of the funnier bloopers. A bunch of cuts of Bob’s hyena laugh follows. We all know Estwa’s baby talk and baby laugh. I so don’t want to be at the table when these two get going after a joke. Estella gamely says she doesn’t mind the laugh, but I don’t hear him return the compliment. The funniest outtake is Bob’s serious “most-dramatic-rose-ceremony-ever” way overdone and with “And this time we might actually mean it” thrown in. I get the feeling that yet again , the personalities were edited out of the participants.
Chris then goes backstage to talk to KJ. She has those same Wal-mart trailerpark girl earrings on. Kelly Jo says - He was in love with me (dammit)I don’t have anything else to say ,and I have no regrets. Chris decides she is not homicidal, and brings her onstage with the happy couple. Kelly Jo has wised up to fact she is unencumbered by a bad romance, and that this is her platform to sparkle. She does. She and Estella embrace warmly and KJ wishes the happy couple happiness. Chris host was digging for some crap , but she was having non of it ,and only answered with positive things. They end with KJ’s heartfelt please be happy. Between this performance, and her Oprah appearance, KJ is bound to get some kind of entertainment deal.
Next up we meet with Trista and Ryan and some details on “the most overhyped wedding ever”. Trista is chirping , while Ryan is barely containing his contempt for the whole deal. We get a glimpse of how overblown this deal will be. Pink pink pink with diamond and platinum shoes. A set up bachelor/ette party with the producers trying to get two strippers to seduce Ryan on camera. Ryan apparently blows his top ,and leaves sans microphone, as he rips it off in disgust. A million dollars or no, the man has his limits. I fall in love with Ryan all over again. He’s way too good for Ms media whore.
Stay turned for the next three ( yes three ) weeks , as they follow the couple through to the big media event. Watch for Ryan to finally punch out a cameraman. If you want to skip being enveloped in Pepto Bismol, the actual wedding is Dec 10. No matter what, you know we’ll all be watching.
Sorry this is late , I have a cold to end all colds, and only left bed to watch the Heritage Classic Hockey game. I couldn’t resist cute guys sweating in -25 degree weather. I should be recovered enough for the upcoming Bachelorette, and Trista /Ryan nuptials. Sher is doing the wedding as I think she has a higher Pink tolerance than I do. We will both return to do the next round of the Bachelorette
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