She Ain't Pretty , She Just Looks That Way- The Bachelor - Episode 4 Recap
I guess its part two of last weekís show that they couldnít get airtime for. I hope itís that way anyhow, as the lack of a rose ceremony didnít cut it for any of us. We also had a week to prepare to watch Lee Ann go on a really good date, that should have gone to some one else. First Up , Bob Ė what are you thinking? When a whole house full hates one person, that should give you a clue. Call up your friend Andrew from the previous Bachelor, and heíll explain.
Most Shocking get ready for a date ever . The girls all keep calling up the stairs, telling Lee-Ann how short her time is, but arenít lifting a finger to help, except for Karin. Ouch, take that Miss ďIím not here to be a bridesmaidĒ. The girls arenít worried, as they reason not even a million bucks worth of jewels can make her look nice. Especially when she has to keep tucking her fangs back in. Bob comes in, and the girls barely look up to see them off. Yeah Ė whatever. Have fun with the beotch.
For the date, they get some private time on the Queen Mary. I fully expect her to drag Bob to the front of the boat and make him sing the Titanic theme song. My heart will go on and on . I really hate thinking of Celine Dion at random times, but I donít think itís a coincidence that Iím thinking of the Titanic while watching this date.
Lee-Ann is mentioning Cinderella, Iím thinking wicked stepsister. She tells Bob that no, she really isnít a psycho bitch, despite the impression all of the others have given him. Bob says, it doesnít matter what the other girls say. Iím thinking Bob should check his drink as Lee-Ann has obviously drugged it. Seriously, Bob Ė give Andrew a call. I think Kirsten is back for another round at the bachelor with plastic surgery or something.
Lee-Ann says sheís ďorgasmicĒ over the fireworks. Good to know July 4 is your favorite Holiday Ė next to Halloween that is. She also says Ė I wish we could click our heels , this would be over and weíd be back in Detroit. Re-read your Wizard of Oz Lee-Ann, the nice girl wins. You are so playing the Iíll get you my pretty part, and not the Dorothy one.
Scary that this one teaches grade two in real life. (No little Sarah, it doesnít matter that the class hates you. Donít try and make friends or get along. Who needs friends anyway , as long as YOU get what YOU want)
Bobís next date is with five girls (Estella, Karin, Jenny, Brooke and Antoinette) and a camper. Ordinarily that would be a set up for a porn movie, but I suddenly remember that Bob already did the camper date with Trista on the Bachelorette. If you can recall on that date , the camper got a flat tire , and all the buff guys took off their shirts and fixed the flat while Bob watched ( the knee yíknow). Oh Bobby , if there is a flat are you expecting to recreate this?
I guess not, as Bobs Barbie Bus pulls up at a water park. Karin is horrified. Donít these other girls know that bathing suits arenít actually supposed to get wet. Jenny catches wind of this, and pronounces her high maintenance. Uh no kidding, did you ever look at her? Much fun and splashing ensues , and Bob takes a little time with each of them. Estella seems to be the only one who leaves an impression on Bob, though he and Brooke looked cozy too. All get a kiss. Bob is taking the -get to know you- deal very seriously with all the lip locks he is dishing. As much I loved BOB at the beginning Ė honey you are a serious playa and man ho . He brushes off all his activity by saying well I asked them all if itís all right first. And what are they going to say Bob ? NO?
Time for yet another *yawn* most exciting rose ceremony ever. The girls propose a toast to being the last ten in Bobís bed. Er, is there some footage we missed? What else has Bobola been sampling besides kisses?
Bob takes time again with each of them. He gives the impression heís at least thinking about it.
Kelly-Jo (who Iím liking more each episode) and MeriDEE ( as Bob calls her) , have some productive Bob time.
Lee-Ann is throwing a fit that no-one is talking to her (except for Karin) and that they are all focusing on BOB . She sick of hearing BOB. Please O Please, pull the ĎIím outta hereí at the ceremony.
Mary gives the ultimate line that a lot of guys want to hear. ďIím sorry Bob, but I have to watch football on Sunday.Ē Bob tells her he can go shopping or something. Ha Ha Funny Bob, like that would happen. Good one Mary .
In his time with Lee-Anne, she is still throwing a fit. Probably the singularly most unattractive outburst in Bachelor history.(Except for Andrew Firestones butt crack of course)
Bob retires to the Bachelor shrine to ďreally use itĒ He quips that there may be more going on behind the scenes than heís aware of. Bob you went through this process on the other side , of course there is.
He watches the videos all begging for him to keep them. Brooke looked really desperate. Bob is trying to keep a poker face, and I know heís been coached on that one.
Chris goes into his patented by now Blah Blah Blah. Bob starts handing out the roses.
Mary, Kelly-Jo, Brooke , Estella, Meri DEE, and OMG Lee- Ann.
Check Bobís drink, that canít be right. Lee-Anne cackles over the demise of Jenny especially. Misty is freaking out. Anarchy ensues.
Well not really , but he must have been paid or bribed to keep Lee-Ann.
Tune in next week to find out how Jamie is doing.
Eny and Sher are settling in nicely for Bobbyís turn at the Bachelor. Thanks to the Northern Pikes for the recap title. As always firstname.lastname@example.org for bribes or decent hockey tickets.
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