Bachelorette Reunion - Hey Hey The Gangs all Here !
Sher- Let me begin by saying that the reunion show with all of the bachelors has been far better than any of the actual episodes of "The Bachelorette." I’m thinking a better reality show would be putting 15 single men into a cool house together with tons of alcohol and 24 hour coverage! That being said, on to the show… I know you want to hear about it.
Eny=Oh Yes, this gang would have made Big Brother worth watching. Those zany bachelors thought they were right back at the frat house, as soon as they entered the mansion door. Living next door to Ozzy would be a treat compared to the Bachelorette’s harem.
All the gang is back together except for Greg. He couldn’t make it. So much coke, so little time. The other guys (sans Charlie and Ryan) are all sitting on stage with a live studio audience. It’s revealed to the viewers, but not the guys, that Trista is sitting backstage watching the show. She’ll be joining the guys with her rebuttal towards the end.
Yes what a big surprise, especially since Aaron did the same thing last round and well, Alex I have tried to block out ,so I haven’t a clue.
Poor Greg forgot about those pesky new security rules at the airport. Either ABC didn’t foot the bail, or tried the if we ignore it no one will notice he’s missing routine. I just have to say one more time- Dumbass ! opportunity of a lifetime and you blow it.
Robohost starts the show off by asking Russ to join him in the hot seat. Russ looks nervous. Shifty eyes, nervous laughter, uncontrollable sweating. I think he is jonesing for some of Greg’s coke. Robohost replays the days of Russ and Trista. At the end, he asks Russ what his reaction is to (1) Trista, and (2) the guys negative reaction to him. He passes the question on to early reject Rob (remember the shaggy haired dude?) Rob just sensitively tries to explain that Russ is an overbearing stalker that monopolized Trista’s time and screwed over the other guys. But he said it much more sensitively than that.
Granted, my good friend Bob pointed out that Russ did get the first kiss in… something that he reminded us all that Jamie had tried and had the complete opposite result as Russ.
Russ started off by saying he felt like “a piece of meat” at the rose ceremonies. Yes I’m sure a control freak like you IS uncomfortable when you aren’t the center of attention. The other guys calling him chisler and Charlie dropping the “f” bomb as in “he’s a f*in cheeseball” , didn’t even wither a spike on Unka Punka’s head.
Rob very nicely pointed out that Russ had indeed taken off with Trista and it wasn’t fair. Russy replied that “It wasn’t personal , as he had screwed them all out of their time” Thanks for pointing out that given the chance you will screw everyone over .
When Robohost asked Russ how he felt about being perceived by America as a stalker against whom Trista should have a restraining order, he said he hadn’t heard that. How is that possible?! We all knew you were a stalker, Russ!! He says that he is not a stalker. He just plays one on TV.
Yes Russ’s insistence that he was only playing a character , was creepy when RoboChris pointed out “dude , the character you were playing was you” Get those voices in your head checked out pronto Russ, before they tell you something bad.
Sidenote: During the Russ Chronicles, we again get to see Josh, 31, Radio Advertising Executive from Boca Raton, Florida. Now, I have to say that Josh was HOT on the reunion show, but he’s barely a blip in my memory from the actual program. Damn shame.
The audience question for Russ was "What was the deal with your fantasy date?" Russ’ answer was, "I wasn’t feeling anything for Trista anymore. It was so over and I decided not to do her…" or something along those lines. Anyway, it’s just foreshadowing for later.
Cutie pie Rob was laughing, as Russ claimed Trista “didn’t know the real me”. Russ had forgotten already he let the cat out of the bag about his alter ego , the “character” SlimyRuss. Good thing Trista realized you had changed since the first date, as she does only get to choose one, and we weren’t sure which one of you would show up. Technically I think she could have gotten away with it, since you are all in one body
Next up, the one we’ve all been waiting for! My friend and yours! Obvious audience favorite and the hottest funny guy around! Bob!!! *and the crowd goes wild* Boy did they!Bob got more applause & screeches than anyone ever at these reunion shows
Now part of me just wants to include a word-for-word transcript of the Bob segment of the show, as I am fully aware that nothing I can write will possibly compare with the humor that is Bob, but that would be too lengthy and difficult for me. So I won’t. However, I will say that I was laughing, I mean really laughing throughout his entire interview. Now Bob, into the hot seat!! And I must say that Bob’s hot seat is a lot smaller than it was on the show. Recap of the Bob Chronicles shows a lot of goofing and a lot of self inflicted fat jokes. Bob explains that like Russ came in with a strategy to stalk Trista, he too had a strategy. See, he figured he would "bulk up" for the show, bring a "little extra" to the table. He said that he had nothing to lose. When he looks back upon his time in the bachelor pad, he knows he’ll always look better than he did on the show. But for the other guys? "One Fat Burger and it’s over for them!"
A true Bobism *sigh*
Trista is shown on a replay saying she wants “deep Bob”. Good thing she didn’t turn that phrase around. She ultimately used the F word on bob, (though not the same one Charlie used for Russ). She saw him as a friend, and as you nice guys everywhere know, that is the Kiss of death.
Yes you may think you looked better now, but we loved you like you were.
The audience question for Bob was "How did you feel about that fifth rose thing that Trista said at your final rose ceremony?" He said, "nice gesture."
I still think it was an insult Bob. Saying she liked you fifth best is not a nice gesture, it’s a self centered one.
Last moment with Bob, Robohost asks him about any serious relationships for him currently? (My ears perk up) Bob says no, but that he’s learned he can’t please everyone all of the time, so now he just pleases himself… "which sounds really weird."
Bob let me point out there is no need for you to have to please yourself, as ladies from all over will willingly take a turn with a fun guy like you.
Robohost asks, "Who eats dog food from a 50lb bag?" Jamie says, "I think that was Bryan H." Jamie, to the hot seat! Rewatching the Jamie Chronicles all lumped together was not only tough for him, but also actually tough for me. He was so obviously uncomfortable and ridiculously goodlooking. His panic disorder was quite clear upon the review. So were his washboard abs and his tight… uh… what was I talking about? Oh yeah. Jamie. When Robohost asked Jamie if he would behave differently if given the opportuni ty to re-enact the shower scene, he said no. He didn’t know her. And though he usually showers with girls on a first date, that he knew it wouldn’t have been right with Trista. To which Robohost said, "But then there was that kiss." Jamie, "Ah yes. Spectacular TV moment."
Oh yes it was painful to relive those moments. Kudos to Jaime for facing up to his problem. I’m sure lots of ladies would have faced up to you in the shower. Let me give you some advice . Don’t ever drink too much , you are one crazyass drunk baby. The dog food was way over the top , and I have seen some pretty drunken antics in my time.
Even Shannon liked you, and she has better taste in guys than Trista does . ( She kept Alex At arms length – ewwww sleep with you? gross me out)
Jaime is still single girls, so rewatch that shower scene , and go find him
Brook is next up, though not officially invited to the hot seat. I don’t want to dwell long on Brook, but it went something like this: Robohost: "Do you still think Trista is shallow?" Brook: "Yep. Damn shallow."
"Shots and Pills can cure anything, that is IF you really are allergic" says Brook. I think Brook has been burned with the old “I really like you but I’m allergic to horses” routine before.
On to the good stuff! 15 guys left alone in a badass bachelor pad with nothing but a stocked bar and free time! Now that’s good TV! The guys partake in a drinking game called "The Century Club" which equates to one shot of beer per minute, I’m guessing, until the last man’s standing.
Greg clearly wasn’t the last man standing. He was found lying on the living room floor with Goldie, the house dog, who he apparently loved the most. He had his arms wrapped around her and she was licking his lips. It was all very endearing and unnerving at the same time.
It was a dream come true. While he could fit a babe or two in the NY love shack, no way could there ever be room for a dog.
Jamie was still standing, but obviously blitzed beyond belief as he bared his butt, downed a bag of dog chow and offered to flame his farts for the fans. All in day’s fun, right?
Remember what I said about the drinking Jaime! The flaming fart trick would have been a much more "Spectacular TV moment", than the awkward kiss. You would have been remembered as the fart guy for years, instead of a blip on reality TV.
And then there was Jack. Poor Jack. We finally found out the real reason that the guys moved Jack’s bed outdoors for the evening. After drinking himself senseless, Jack was no longer able to differentiate between his bed and the toilet. The guys all walk in to find him whizzing on his bed. The only obvious choice was to move the drunk and his soiled bed out of the house. Though I can’t illustrate how hysterical this moment was, I can say that any woman that takes this man will have already seen him at his worst. I mean, he can only get better from there, right? Funniest line from Robohost of the night, "Now Jack, I know you’re a firefighter back in Cleveland, but you can’t just pull your hose out anywhere, right?"
Ok remember those wild times I spoke of?While guys do have the habit of whipping out the family jewels when drunk , I do not ever recall one using furniture to pee on . Floors yes, but not furniture. That would have grossed me out so much, I would have put you in the middle of the interstate. Phew *plugs nose* Which firehouse guys do you think will be prouder Jack’s or Ryans?
Funny question from audience Who takes longer to get ready ? Answer – One of the “hair guys” Those guys would be Charlie and Rob. I can’t see either as Charlie just pours half a bottle of gel on and combs back. Neither wind or rain will penetrate that hairdo. Robs bed head look takes a long time to get every little spike in place. Who Knew?
Robohost now announces that a very interested party has been watching backstage and welcomes Trista to the show. Bob starts laughing. Brook’s posture stiffens. Russ looks like he’s going to throw up.
Trista first addresses Jamie and tells him that she didn’t mean to sound demeaning. She thinks he’s a strong and beautiful person that has no reason to feel insecure. I agree. Yuuuummmmy Jamie! Next is Brook’s turn. I was hoping for more of a battle, but Brook buckled. Trista said, "I was confused. I thought you were calling me shallow and a liar." Brook said, "Err. Uhh. Umm." She said, "I’m not a liar. I am allergic to horses," to which he responded, "Ok. My bad." Damn Brook! Cowboy up!! Last to be addressed is SlimyRuss who is obviously waiting for the earth to split open and immediately swallow him up. No such luck. Trista calls him out on his lie about the night in the fantasy sweet by saying, "I distinctly remember saying there was no way I was sleeping over with your stalker self." He claimed that before that, at dinner, he had said he’d go check out the suite with Trista, but no sleeping over. She could have had them rerun the video AGAIN to prove her point, but she helped him save face a bit by saying "Bygones." And Russ breathes a sigh of relief. He may actually have another date sometime in this lifetime. But probably not. The entire time my man Bob is sitting back with a wide grin on his face. He loves watching the fireworks in the room.
Her explanation to Jaime was sweet. She was lying through her teeth, as she did not find out about his panic disorder until after, but she put it sweetly.
To Brook – “I love horses , I used to ride them all the time. That’s how I found out I was allergic” (asshole) . She didn’t really say that last bit ,but she wanted to, I could tell.
Brook – “you never told me that”
Trista- “that’s because you were too busy calling me shallow” Brook was so stunned at that point, he forgot his pills and shots and true love conquers all tirade.
Bob WAS enjoying the fireworks!
Trista is asked by Robohost how she handled the double standard. A man had called into a radio and told the host, "I have daughters. What kind of impression is Trista giving on ‘The Bachelorette’ when she’s kissing 3 different guys?" Her response? "Aaron kissed 7 women. Alex kissed 12." Sounds like they worked it a bit harder than Trista, huh? Maybe next time, hon.
The true double standard would have been to ask how many she slept with compared to Alex. Kissing three guys in a month who are throwing themselves at you, is not even a blip on the old skank-o-meter Pops
Audience question for Trista: "On the previous show you said you couldn’t have an orgasm. Have you had the big "O" yet?" Dammmmmmmmmn! Way to cut to the chase, girl! Jamie chimes in, "I can answer this. On the beach, after that masterful kiss, she said she did. Right then." Who knew Jamie was a funny man!? No wonder he and Bob seem to get along so well! Trista obliged with an answer, "There are 2 different kinds of orgasms. I’ve experienced one, but not the other." Ok. Thanks. Good luck with that.
I thought it was sweet for Jaime to step in and try to defuse THAT question. I was stunned when Trista answered. Well she did say pre show she thought of setting up a competition. I guess she didn’t since the answer was no.
You rock for answering that one on prime time, and not with Oprah
Paul, the Hawaiian long haired bachelor reject asked next if the man she chose is having any problems with watching Trista be intimate with the other guys on the show. She claims it’s been very difficult and they are both having problems with it. Makes me wonder if she’s longing for the one she left behind… and makes him wonder if he’s hooked up with a ho.
I can see how it would be difficult. Unless he wants pointers, tell him not to watch the other guy. One hard and fast girl rule , is you never talk about anyone else you have dated , married or even looked at in a positive light.The frail male ego cannot generally take it. Watching someone else score is out of the question.
We are left with scenes for next week’s 2-hour season ender when Trista takes the men home to meet her family. Watching the Ryan and Charlie Chronicles leaves us knowing that Trista must choose between two very different men: One that is just like her and one that is way too good for her.
These parents sat through an Alex dinner too. I wonder how that will play out.
Tune in next week to find out:
1. Who Trista chooses
2. If Russ will be seen lurking in any of the yards
3. If anyone else will be busted on drug, or drunk and disorderly charges
Shersidhe and Enygma are happy Fort writers.One is single, one married, to give a balanced and impartial view . They can be reached for bribes and fan mail at Sher@fansofrealitytv.com or firstname.lastname@example.org
Last edited by eny; 06-02-2004 at 10:28 AM.
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