Originally Posted by scoobie  After this past Monday night’s episode of The Bachelor, I think my recent infatuation or dare I say addiction to reality TV has been cured. I am now a free man, liberated, no longer feeling the compulsion of having to be grooved to the tube every Monday to find out who would get shafted and who would advance. It is a great feeling to be able to reclaim my life and I highly recommend it to anyone.
So, for the past month or so, along with my family I had been faithfully following the American Adventure of Matt Grant, tortuously trying to justify my uncharacteristic behavior but loving every minute of it. Sure, my wife and daughter watched it because they wanted to cheer for their favorite girl. But me, oh no, my intentions were much loftier and nobler than theirs. I was really watching it for its cinematic excellence and masterful performance. Sure, I even came to appreciate some of the scenes from a cinematic standpoint with the ice skating date as my favorite among them. Yeah, right! If the truth must be told, what I actually enjoyed were all the outlandish drama, and the ways he swapped spit with the girls once every 10 minutes (OK, I didn’t actually count so sleuths, hold your horses). I was really watching it for my guilty pleasure of trying to project myself into the ultimate male fantasy through some good-looking limey. Happy now that I have finally confessed? I am sure that Father O’Malley would. Besides, Fleiss made me watch it by making it so alluring. However, something happened in this past Monday’s episode that really jolted me back into reality from the realm of reality TV.
To start off, we were joined by a dear friend who happens to be a practicing psychiatrist visiting with us for the week. Before the episode starts, my wife began to brief her about of the premise of the show which she had never seen before. Her response after the briefing was something like this “Do you really expect real romance coming out of these unbalanced power relationships with one guy holding all the cards over all these women, kissing and groping them at will, using the fear of elimination as the weapon?” My response was something like “duh, I never did give much thought to that one." Was she trying to insinuate that we had been watching the “Warren Jess Hour”.
Well unfortunately, the ensuing show did little to challenge our friend’s assessment. In the show, our man Matt constantly prodded the ladies to “open up” in a literal sense, which can safely interpreted as to put out. He was especially tough on Chelsea, complaining left and right about how she was not worshipful enough about him physically. Then after her putting on a slinky black nightgown and removing her underwear (all televised) before returning to the awaiting horny guy with a British accent, Chelsea got her rose and a trip to England.
After Shayne Lamas convinced the Bachelor that she was well verse all matters of politics and stuff by telling him, “Yes, I can talk about politics and stuff like that,” Fleiss et. al. did not appear to be leaving a whole lot of doubt about how this one ends. He even gave Shayne the villa and relegated the other two ladies to suites at the Hilton, probably paid for with his own frequent flyer miles. Actually for the record, I like Shayne and wish some day they (Fleiss? Lorenzo?) would publish a book of all her memorable quotes. I would place it right next to my book of all of Yogi Berra’s quotes. “If you want to know me..well…you would need to get to know me!” Wow, I’d put this one up there with “It ain’t over until it’s over” or “Money is as good as cash”.
Amanda was not exactly blessed with the same linguistic or oratory skills as Shayne, but it did seem to get across the message that she wasn’t going to “open up” unless she felt safe. By now, I’ve figured out that really means “put out”. Again Matt doesn’t say much and the kissing and groping that ensues certainly implied a bunch when he dumped her what twelve hours later?
The much touted Rose Ceremony ended with a distraught Amanda leaving, crying and cursing at our man Matt. Once again, our astute friend took note at her facial expression as one that of a jilted woman who had just been treated with the “wham bam thank ya ma’am” style of exit. It was during this time of watching Amanda’s breakdown that the ugly word of exploitation about this show began to dawn upon me. Sure, one might dismiss such emotional outburst as a tantrum, or an “emotional realization’, something similar to what Shayne had experienced earlier in Vegas. After all, they were adults who were familiar with the theme of the show. Amanda should have gotten a grip of herself, and we should not have let her dragging us into a guilt trip. I would not subscribe to such callous dismissal. After all, professional boxers should know what they get themselves into; however, that should not deter anyone from pausing for some serious preponderance or reevaluation whenever one or more of them die in the ring. Along the same line, I would even defend Shayne, who was much vilified for her “tantrum” in Vegas. After all, I would be equally upset if I realize that I had just signed up for a modern day harem with the “make-out meister” holding all the cards”.
Now I am really mad at myself for being suckered in by one of the greatest trivialization of human emotions. How stupid am I supposed to be? The Bachelor is really the world’s greatest Bachelor party without any actual wedding to deal with. You just say you’ve fallen in love and then months later you start turning up at parties with Miss Iran or Marla Maples. You never actually have to marry anyone. And one of the oddest things about the show is that everyone seems perfectly comfortable with the notion that some young woman who barely knows the Bachelor had sex (or appear to have) with him the night before he dumps her for two other women he just spent the night with. And how naďve are the women? Do they really want to marry some guy who does (or appear to have done) it on national TV with three different women in three nights? It’s all about romance after all, isn’t it? Or is it exploitation?
Of all the women who departed in the later rounds, only two seems to have left with “grace”: meaning no emotional breakdown. They were able to do so only because they appeared to have invested little or none into this process and Matt allowed them to do so. Marshana Ritchie left just like a “lady” (as she saw herself) and she even wished Matt nothing but the best. She was able to pull this off because both she and Matt appeared to have no potentials for any romantic involvement, but they genuinely had fondness for each other. On the other hand, Matt’s relationship with Noelle Drake was a bit of a mystery. By his own admission, he really liked her, obviously not enough to pick her as the chosen one but enough to keep her around “safely” especially from himself throughout this process. By her later revelation, they obviously had more contacts and rapports with each other than we were led to believe. When she was eliminated during the F4 RC, she appeared relieved instead of saddened. Their pre-departure conversation almost suggested that they had worked out this exit strategy between themselves before hand. His statement of “This is not the best for you,” and her “I take responsibility for this” spoke volume. A plausible explanation for this could be that Matt treated Noelle like a sister he never had and wanted to protect her from the type of humiliation that would eventually fall upon Amanda. However, my cynical side would tell me that this could be a confirmation of his Hollywood aspiration; he dared not to cross her because Noelle’s legit and indie film work credentials could be an asset to him (even more so than Lamas’ limited filmography in soap, reality TV and T&A sexploitation flicks) if their paths were to cross again later after he has unraveled his current situation. In any event, the reason I have gone at length to point this out is that how much better the show would have been if every departing lady were bestowed with the same treatment. But that is not to be, or the producer would not allow it. It would not make for good TV.
Hence my problem with this show became more than this particular episode. It really does take a sinister reality TV genius to sandwich this male fantasy between meeting everyone’s mom and dad where the Bachelor swears, “I’d never dream of hurting your daughter oh shotgun bearing father,” or as the ever eloquent Matt put it, “I’d never screw with her emotions,” and an episode culminating with the Bachelor offering a ring and saying “You’re the only one I love on this show at least until the cameras stop rolling.”
Reiterating that I do not have a “horse in this race”, I duly recognize that there is a heated debate among the viewers as evidenced by some post exchanges that could be characterized as flame throwing. This debate is primarily shaped by what I categorized as the “pro Lamas” and “anti Lamas” camps with the majority of the latter being Rantuccio fans. To the latter, their complaint seems to be that there is a lack of a love story being presented, only screen time for Lamas. The former would quickly point out that there is a love story, and it is between Grant and Lamas but it is not accepted by the latter because he did not choose their favorite. My own take on this is that the “Pro Lamas Group” is correct in that there is a love story being presented. However, this love story is so humorously unconventional and twisted, a film noire, that to many by accepting it would be like adopting the Communist Manifesto into our Constitution. A girl from a Hollywood dysfunctional family, who hang out with pornographers (Vivid Videos, Girls Gone Wild etc) and has appeared in some racy movie roles herself, should not and must not be considered as the object of affection from Prince Charming and be allowed to live happily ever after. Such irony, I believe, is exactly what Fleiss has in mind all along. All the outlandish dramas are merely embellishments to an “over-the-top” season that he tries to create. The only mystery is his motive. Is he doing this for ratings or is he creating a self-ridiculed swan song to a project he believes to have run its course. If the recent ratings hold up, and the viewers seem more excited about the WTA than the “most romantic finale”, I believe it may be the latter.
Speaking of having run its course, I believe this post is my own diary of the departed. For the very short time that I have been here, I must say I have a lot of fun. It is the perfect supplement to my watching the seasons. I want to wish all the posters and lurkers nothing but the best; however, I think I need to return to reality from the realm of reality TV.
Beam me up Scottie! |
04-30-2008, 07:05 PM
WHEW - Hang IN & Hang ON 
Friends are those rare people who ask how you are and then wait for the answer. ~Author Unknown
