Page 653 of 653 FirstFirst ... 153553603643644645646647648649650651652653
Results 6,521 to 6,528 of 6528

Thread: Thoughts & Comments in General #4 **Spoilers** - Bachelor 11

  1. #6521
    FORT Newbie Guilty Pleasure's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    46

    Re: Thoughts & Comments in General #4 **Spoilers** - Bachelor 11

    Quote Originally Posted by InsideOut;2687208;
    Whew, that's pretty deep! I would love to read more about that study. Would you be able to provide a link? That sounds fascinating.
    I read it in a book titled The Good Marriage: How & Why Love Lasts by Judith S. Wallerstein, a clinical psychologist. She was motivated to write the book because there were already many books on bad marriages, but hardly any on good marriages. I'd post a link, but last time I tried to do that I got an infraction, so I must not understand the right way to link.

    As a side note, in the introduction the author recalled speaking to a group of educated women and asking for volunteers for a study she was doing on happy marriages. The response of the group was to erupt into spontaneous laughter.

    Quote Originally Posted by InsideOut;2687208;
    Like others have posted, Brad will "know" it if/when he meets the right woman. There's a certain chemistry people have when they fall in love, and you just can't fake it.

    When I was young, whenever I used to ask grownups, "How do you know when you're really in love with the person you're supposed to spend the rest of your life with?", I was always told, "You'll just know." If you have doubts or something just doesn't feel right, then you're with the wrong person.
    On the contrary, sometimes the right person feels wrong at first. Let's say you grew up with an abusive parent and you've been repeating that destructive emotional (or even physical) dynamic all your dating life. And then one day you turn over a new leaf and decide to date only kind, gentle men. At first it will feel wrong wrong wrong because it's unfamiliar.

    That's not to say you should marry the first kind, gentle man who comes along. With a little practice and a little luck, someday you'll meet a man who is kind and gentle, but who also has enough testosterone to get your engine going. In other words, you'll find a balance.

  2. #6522
    FORT Fogey
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    3,970

    Re: Thoughts & Comments in General #4 **Spoilers** - Bachelor 11

    Quote Originally Posted by rileymeboy;2687003;
    Yes he did. he made that clear. In the PIs, the LCD, and especially the ATFR. Scared, sure, but it's not that he didn't love her. He just can't do anything about it, because he panics. He can't say goodbye and leave it at that, he has to give her false hope and drag her along. Remember at the FRC when she was asking why, he rushed her out. At the limo, he was then complaining that she was closing him out. Constant contradiction. No truth, but playing both sides instead. Very manipulative and unempathetic. Very selfish.



    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Yes, I think Brad loved Deanna and also Jeannie to a point..you can love someone and not be In Love with them. In Love, is different and very special. It's something you don't have to think... do I, or don't I, You just know, and when you know, there is nothing that will stop you from persuing that person. Right, wrong, good, bad or indifferent.

    I think, this is what Brad has been saying to them. Sometimes, we only hear what we want to hear.
    Going back to the convo. Brad and Bettina had on their gondola ride, he said he wanted to meet somebody where they didn't have to say anything, they just knew, best friends, done deal, best friends, true love, done (paraphrased here). So it's clear that he was looking for that "I just know in my heart" kind of love. He also told Bettina he didn't know her in his heart. Maybe Brad is one of those people who has developed his intuitive side a bit over the years.

    The reason I say that is if we all reflect back on our lives hasn't there been a moment when everything was perfect and exactly the way you wanted it to be, dreamed of it to be, worked hard to bring it into being, but something deep inside you in that moment of clarity just spoke to you Loud and Clear and said something isn't right but you just can't explain it. Or that it wasn't meant to be. It comes from a place of KNOWING and not thinking.

    Believe me I know what I am elluding to her here. For I have had many many such experiences in my life. You cannot blame someone for listening to the message from their heart. Sure in a self-righteous way we can call Brad down to the mat and dump on him but it still doesn't change anything. It is his heart and he listened to it. He owes it to himself to do that. Each person is responsible for their own happiness.

    Let's even say that Brad misled the women and said things that made them believe the proposal was in the bag. We never saw him say he LOVED them. No matter what Brad told them they should have prepared themselves for a let down given that there was a possibility that the other might be the one. How would DeAhna know for certain he didn't say the same to Jenni? The format for the show is set up for anyone to get hurt. They came into it knowing that they could go all the way and not be the one to get the ring and proposal. What was that comment "DOOMSDAY" about from DeAhna. Did she sense something was not right but refused to look within for the answers. Jenni knew something was not right so did Bevin last time around the day of FRC.

    It was apparent based on the ATFR that when it came down to it DeAhna never really understood how Brad thinks in the six weeks they were together. Most of us know someone who met the perfect partner for them in all ways yet that little something - call it butterflies or extra spark was missing. It's not good or bad, right or wrong. If it isn't there, it isn't there. Forcing someone to feel their love for you the way you feel for them is not only demeaning to oneself but desperate. Love happens. It can't be forced. And if it was meant to be it would have. We can have all the plans in the world but sometimes things happen which defies logical explanation. As the saying goes Man proposes, God disposes. Jenni has moved on, in time let's hope DeAhna will do too. She needs to figure out why she picks guys who eventually hurt her so she won't make the same mistake the third time.

    As always JMO and I am entitled to it. Just another way to look at it I suppose.

  3. #6523
    FORT Newbie
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    47

    Re: Thoughts & Comments in General #4 **Spoilers** - Bachelor 11

    Quote Originally Posted by zen4;2687235;
    You see Babyface that's the thing. Brad's reaction to DeAnna as she walked out of that limo is what got me to watch the show in the first place. He later said that he was blown away the minute he laid eyes on her and that he was done. For him to have developed those real and strong feelings he talked about in a mere 5 weeks and while dating other girls speaks volumes to me. So I guess our confusion doesn't stem from why he didn't fall in love but rather why doesn't he allow it to get stronger since he has every reason to do so. You can't possibly expect to be completely in love after 5 weeks and maybe 3 dates at the most but when you see potential and qualities you are looking for in addition to an obvious physical attraction you go for it and give it a chance to grow. When Love hit you like a lightning bolt often times it's not with the right people for you and at the time you don't even realize until you get hurt. Also it's rarely the right way to start a healthy relationship. The bottom line is that from my perspective after watching these 2 people who are genuine and honest, I thought I saw something special there, I don't believe for one second that Brad was faking it for the sake of the show or that the editing made it look more than what it was. The feelings were there genuine and all but for some reason Brad freaked out in the end and walked away.Our biggest issue is why walk away completely from someone you were planing on proposing to. The whole thing just saddens me.
    I do still think highly of Brad and I thought that the most attractive thing about him was not his looks but rather the fact that he was humble and down to earth and to me that's best quality a man can have. I would have wished for him to realize that what he had with DeAnna was worth the try but I guess it wasn't meant to be. I agree with him when he said that her of all people deserves someone that is in it 100% and I wish to god that they both find love and happiness ultimately.

    everything you say you saw with brad & deanna i saw with him & jenni...goes to show you none of us are a good critic of whom a person should be with

  4. #6524
    FORT Fanatic babyfaceC's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    750

    Re: Thoughts & Comments in General #4 **Spoilers** - Bachelor 11

    [QUOTE=rileymeboy;2687003;]Yes he did. he made that clear. In the PIs, the LCD, and especially the ATFR. Scared, sure, but it's not that he didn't love her. He just can't do anything about it, because he panics. He can't say goodbye and leave it at that, he has to give her false hope and drag her along. Remember at the FRC when she was asking why, he rushed her out. At the limo, he was then complaining that she was closing him out. Constant contradiction. No truth, but playing both sides instead. Very manipulative and unempathetic. Very selfish.QUOTE]

    Here's some more interesting clarification.. The FRC wasn't as rushed and fast as it looked. brad and DeAnna talked for more than 10 minutes. I believe we only saw 2 minutes of it... A lot of people seem upset that he "rushed her out"..

    You here him say something to the affect of "Come on, you have to go" or something like that... What you don't hear or see is the producers said "We have to wrap this up, we're losing the sunlight". It was about to start getting dark.

    You can think of this information what you want but brad and DeAnna's goodbye was a lot longer than what was shown on TV. None of us know how the whole converstation went

  5. #6525
    FORT Newbie
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    47

    Re: Thoughts & Comments in General #4 **Spoilers** - Bachelor 11

    Quote Originally Posted by Guilty Pleasure;2687239;
    I read it in a book titled The Good Marriage: How & Why Love Lasts by Judith S. Wallerstein, a clinical psychologist. She was motivated to write the book because there were already many books on bad marriages, but hardly any on good marriages. I'd post a link, but last time I tried to do that I got an infraction, so I must not understand the right way to link.

    As a side note, in the introduction the author recalled speaking to a group of educated women and asking for volunteers for a study she was doing on happy marriages. The response of the group was to erupt into spontaneous laughter.



    On the contrary, sometimes the right person feels wrong at first. Let's say you grew up with an abusive parent and you've been repeating that destructive emotional (or even physical) dynamic all your dating life. And then one day you turn over a new leaf and decide to date only kind, gentle men. At first it will feel wrong wrong wrong because it's unfamiliar.

    That's not to say you should marry the first kind, gentle man who comes along. With a little practice and a little luck, someday you'll meet a man who is kind and gentle, but who also has enough testosterone to get your engine going. In other words, you'll find a balance.

    i do agree some people choose the wrong mates for wrong reasons, like the examples you give, but this is a different scenario.

  6. #6526
    FORT Fan ckbmom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    235

    Re: Thoughts & Comments in General #4 **Spoilers** - Bachelor 11

    Quote Originally Posted by realmenwatchbac;2681124;
    Something I have an issue about.........

    the stuff on Jimmy Kimmel when Chad made the jokes about DeAnna and Brad laughed

    not funny

    Isn't this the interview where Chad also said something about the busboy? In retrospect, it makes ya go hmmm.....

  7. #6527
    FORT Fogey intheblind's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    3,634

    Re: Thoughts & Comments in General #4 **Spoilers** - Bachelor 11

    Quote Originally Posted by scoobydoo2;2687297;
    everything you say you saw with brad & deanna i saw with him & jenni...goes to show you none of us are a good critic of whom a person should be with

    I agree also as I saw it with Bettina & his comments about her taking his breath away when she stepped out of the limo. Give the guy credit he went with his three choices from start to finish. Pretty much what was said about each women was consistent & men't pretty much the same thing.

  8. #6528
    FORT Newbie
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    47

    Re: Thoughts & Comments in General #4 **Spoilers** - Bachelor 11

    Has everyone forgotten about Moana?? Like Deanna, she was devestated. She was SURE she loved Travis & did not want to live without him. She had the most pitiful reject in the limo scene of them all. Remember all her dreadful poems trying to woe him back, etc. after she was rejected? But, once she finally realized it was over & there was no hope, she got on with her life(in a big way I might add). I think she finally realized & would admit today, that her anguish was not as much about an undying love she had for Travis, but just that rejection, on national tv no less, sucks.

    That being said..was Travis, knowing that Moana was crazy about him, right to chose the safe girl/friend? Many would say no. Many dissed him for what he did. How about Bob? He chose someone & dumped her 5 min. after the show was over. I truely believe Brad took the high road (did the right thing even though it would have been easier not too). The real fault is the premise of the show. It is not conducive to finding the "love of your life." While 2 couples worked out (so far), the majority did not.

    I think the real reason fans take it so hard & come down on the ones who do the rejection is because they identify with the one being jilted in some way & it makes them feel like they have been rejected. I think the ones who name call, etc. are just plain arses.
    Last edited by scoobydoo2; 11-22-2007 at 01:46 PM.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.