Body Language & Non Verbal Communication - *Spoilers*

[JoLena]

Originally Posted by classylassy

I believe that he shows the same discomfort with crying that he showed on the Cinderella date with Hillary and when Hillary had her meltdown when she didn't get a rose. He looks sad and uncomfortable.

He is probably so thrilled that DeAnna isn't a crier. That emotional crying stuff , might be a turn off for him. He likes DeAnna's emotional side that he saw at her home , when she was showing pictures of her mother. But the crying these girls are doing I think turns him off. Guys get very uncomfortable when girls do that.

[Google]

 

[jelle]

When looking at body language, do you ever consider that perhaps because he is not supposed to fully reflect his real feeling that what is reflected is somewhat skewed?

[angrygirl]

Originally Posted by bachlorfan

He is probably so thrilled that DeAnna isn't a crier. That emotional crying stuff , might be a turn off for him. He likes DeAnna's emotional side that he saw at her home , when she was showing pictures of her mother. But the crying these girls are doing I think turns him off. Guys get very uncomfortable when girls do that.

Some girls are uncomfortable with it too. My sister had a couple of different boyfriends when she was younger who were very clingy and the type to cry. Maybe it was the guys more than the stupid displays that turned out to be the problem, but the person she is married to is not like that.

Unfortunately, I am more the crier type. Or maybe it's just that the guy I used to spend a lot of time crying over/crying to liked to treat me in a rude fashion. I would never put myself in that position again.

At any rate, telling someone that you loved them for the first time should be a joyful experience.

[Lynn7]

Originally Posted by MomLady

I have been wondering about the ABC commercial of Nov 16.

Maybe because Brad's body language reminds me of Andy when he told Bevin he loved her, in response to her saying I love you, I see many negatives for Jenni. When reading the Jenni boards I hear that the exchange was very positve and looks good for Brad picking Jenni. This is what I saw, what do you guys think based on Brad's body language and compared to when DeAnna told Brad she loved him?

The shoulders are rounded when Jenni is speaking to him. Brad shows no positive emotions that he is liking what he hears. Brad looked so resigned listening to the journal entry. It is painful to watch.

I feel Brad is comforting Jenni, but not reciprocating the love feelings.

He touches her then draws away.

When he is hugging Jenni and stroking her back, it reminded me of the way someone would rub the back of a very upset child to take their pain away.

Sometimes when he was comforting Jenni and touching her face reminded me the way he comforted Hillary on the 1 on 1 date. He even wiped a tear off Hillary's face with his finger.

His voice sounded very broken up and painful.

Did anybody else read Brad's body language the same way?

I don't like trying to interpret commercials or screen caps. I prefer to watch the scene because, while they are chopped and edited, commercials are even more so. Having said that, come Monday we'll know what took place so it will be a moot point.

I've seen Brad show the kind of comforting that you mention (Michelle, Hillary and Kristy come to mind). It is what I refer to as polite, friendly, comforting but not emotionally invested. I've seen it with DeAnna and Jenni at times, too, but it was earlier on with DeAnna and I still see it with Jenni.

There are two kinds of comforting, that I can perhaps describe, when it comes to kids though. For kids that are not our own we often provide the polite, friendly, comfort. We don't press too hard on the back, or the arm and tend to pat the hand. This is reassuring enough but doesn't cross the intimate boundary. On the one hand there is a lack of emotional investment in the child but, on the other, no normal adult wants to cross any line with a child that is not their own so they respond on the side of caution. The lack of strength in this type of comforting is enough to reassure the child but not enough to have them feeling entirely safe.

With a child that is our own...hmmm...how to describe this? Can you relate to your child falling down and crying their eyes out? We think nothing about collecting them in our arms, them wrapped like an octopus around our body, and our arms wrapped tight around their body, hugging tight, fingers squeezing around the shoulders, pressing our hand tight on their back, talking to them gently in their ear, to calm and reassure them that everything is okay. The forcefullness of the hugging and reassurance is dominating, in a way. Think of how you felt when your dad gave you a big hug when you were young and in stress, if he ever did that, I hope so...LOL, you felt safe and protected. The strength of the hugging sends a subliminal message that the child really is safe because someone bigger is there. I hope this makes sense.

We, as adults, have a tendacy to do this same kind of comforting. If there is not really an emotional investment then we provide, sometimes awkward, polite comforting, the best we know how at the time. When someone we care about, or love, is in distress, we tend to dig our fingers in to them in some way, squeezing the arm or shoulder, or hold their hand tight, hug them tight with fingers digging in, all to reassure, or make believable, that the person providing the comfort is truthful in their compassion and is there to protect them and be there as their safety net.

Most people probably don't even notice the difference.

ETA: Brad doesn't seem comfortable with crying women.

[Lynn7]

I know that I've read that fans in Canada are getting different commercials. I, er, *always* *cough* watch Ugly Betty, Grey's Anatomy, ABC News, Jeopardy and Men In Trees so I recorded them as *cough* per usual over the last few days to see if I could catch the commercial. Tonight, I finally saw it. I'm from Western Canada, Pacific Ocean side, and this is what I saw. No, you're not obsessed!

Guy with creepy, panicky, scary yet serious voice says, "Monday, the final two women." He say's "Deanna," and her name appears in big red letters on screen, it cuts to DeAnna saying, "I love you, I want this for the rest of my life," to Brad, then a kiss is shown. Then he says, "Jenni," shown in big red letters on the screen, cuts to Jenni talking to Brad, "I would do whatever it takes to make you happy," then a kiss is shown. Creepy, panicky, scary yet serious voice guy says, cuts to Brad with hand over his nose and mouth, looking deep in thought and perplexed, "and the Bachelor must make his decision." PI of DeAnna in candle lit room saying, "Doomsday." Then it cuts to Brad holding a diamond ring, driving in the limo, while creepy, panicky, scary yet serious voice guy says, "the ring has been chosen, his mind made up, cuts to a spliced screen of Jenni in the limo on the left, DeAnna in the limo on the right, then back to Brad wearing a dark grey sports jacket and deep grey shirt (chastely unbottoned two buttons ) who then says, "I've found the one, the right one," but creepy, panicky, scary yet serious voice guys comes back with, "But, this is one Bachelor ending you never saw coming," with heavy, thriller choir music in the background, it cuts to closeups of Brad standing at the podium, then a closeup of Brad. Jenni is heard saying, tearfully, "I'm sorry." Then creepy, panicky, scary yet serious voice guy comes back as says, while Brad is pacing by the pool, hands in his pockets, with a dark suit and white dress shirt, "The shocking season finale of the Bachelor Monday 10/9 central and AFTR Tuesday 10/9 central here on ABC."

I posted this in the General Comments thread.

[MomLady]

Originally Posted by Lynn7

I don't like trying to interpret commercials or screen caps. I prefer to watch the scene because, while they are chopped and edited, commercials are even more so. Having said that, come Monday we'll know what took place so it will be a moot point.

I've seen Brad show the kind of comforting that you mention (Michelle, Hillary and Kristy come to mind). It is what I refer to as polite, friendly, comforting but not emotionally invested. I've seen it with DeAnna and Jenni at times, too, but it was earlier on with DeAnna and I still see it with Jenni.

There are two kinds of comforting, that I can perhaps describe, when it comes to kids though. For kids that are not our own we often provide the polite, friendly, comfort. We don't press too hard on the back, or the arm and tend to pat the hand. This is reassuring enough but doesn't cross the intimate boundary. On the one hand there is a lack of emotional investment in the child but, on the other, no normal adult wants to cross any line with a child that is not their own so they respond on the side of caution. The lack of strength in this type of comforting is enough to reassure the child but not enough to have them feeling entirely safe.

With a child that is our own...hmmm...how to describe this? Can you relate to your child falling down and crying their eyes out? We think nothing about collecting them in our arms, them wrapped like an octopus around our body, and our arms wrapped tight around their body, hugging tight, fingers squeezing around the shoulders, pressing our hand tight on their back, talking to them gently in their ear, to calm and reassure them that everything is okay. The forcefullness of the hugging and reassurance is dominating, in a way. Think of how you felt when your dad gave you a big hug when you were young and in stress, if he ever did that, I hope so...LOL, you felt safe and protected. The strength of the hugging sends a subliminal message that the child really is safe because someone bigger is there. I hope this makes sense.

We, as adults, have a tendacy to do this same kind of comforting. If there is not really an emotional investment then we provide, sometimes awkward, polite comforting, the best we know how at the time. When someone we care about, or love, is in distress, we tend to dig our fingers in to them in some way, squeezing the arm or shoulder, or hold their hand tight, hug them tight with fingers digging in, all to reassure, or make believable, that the person providing the comfort is truthful in their compassion and is there to protect them and be there as their safety net.

Most people probably don't even notice the difference.

ETA: Brad doesn't seem comfortable with crying women.

Thank you Lynn,

Very interesting about the children part.

[MomLady]

Originally Posted by jelle

When looking at body language, do you ever consider that perhaps because he is not supposed to fully reflect his real feeling that what is reflected is somewhat skewed?

jelle,

That is a very important point. I dreed the day they will be much more into acting. It will be even harder to read.

That is why I compare it with different women as to the action to get an indication of what is happening. Example reaction of ILYs at LCD and FD, they are similar actions, happening at relatively the same time line in the show. I think Brad is showing more with one then the other as to a preference.

I finding harder to hide a stiffness or tenseness then a smile maybe etc.

[weeper84]

First let me state that I'm not in either the dolphin/hammock or the dune buggy, but I think there is a vast difference between the crying that Hillary was doing which scares a guy, and shedding a few tears like Jenni is doing in the clip. My husband doesn't care for wild crying, but he enjoys that I'm sensitive enough to shed a few tears occasionally.

I also don't know what I think about Brad's reaction to Jenni's revelation. He doesn't look like he's completely in the moment to me; although I'm not sure he ever looks genuinely comfortable. He is frequently serious and sometimes looks like someone is pinching his butt.

[classylassy]

LOL at the pinching his butt comment! He gets that tight lip thing going sometimes, I have noticed that.

[weeper84]

Originally Posted by classylassy

LOL at the pinching his butt comment! He gets that tight lip thing going sometimes, I have noticed that.

I would venture to guess that he might find several volunteers for that duty.