Body Language & Non Verbal Communication - *Spoilers*

[boomer_lady]

Originally Posted by Bloomers

is that a good many of the times it is all an illusion! er.

It's just an illusion! that's what I've always said. However this is the 1st season I actually really like the bachelor (Brad) and I do see potential for a successful love story but ONLY if DeAnna is the one. The Brad&DeAnna might very well end up being the most successful Bachelor so far. Good luck to both of them.

...

[Google]

 

[shoepie]

Originally Posted by Bloomers

It's not very romantic, but I do wonder if there really isn't a strong connection, does the Bachelor select the one that has circumstances in which he can easily end it with her after the show is over.

I wonder this, too, because of all the obvious examples you cited. Bob's season was the most glaring of them all.

The body language that jumps out at me this season is Brads somewhat more reserved approach to Deanna. It is the body language of a man in pursuit, not wanting to rush things and a little tenuous, not wanting to put too much out there until he got a signal.

Jenni's nature is flirty and she gave Brad permission, with her own behavior, to become familiar immediately.

Having said that, there is a producer behind the camera giving signals, if needed. Brad is the first Bachelor that I have noticed looking to them for instruction. It seemed that he was told not to lean to kiss Deanna at dinner. He pulled her toward him with his arm, under the table.

Same goes for his date with Jenni. His reaction to her grabbing at the invitation was confusion because the scene did not go as planned. The format says the woman takes the invitation and reads it out loud. Jenni's spontaneous gesture threw him for a loop and you see him looking at the producer for guidance!

It is impossible to read body language half the time because of the direction Brad is clearly given.

[BlondieGal]

Originally Posted by boomer_lady

It's just an illusion! that's what I've always said. However this is the 1st season I actually really like the bachelor (Brad) and I do see potential for a successful love story but ONLY if DeAnna is the one. The Brad&DeAnna might very well end up being the most successful Bachelor so far. Good luck to both of them.

...

Very interesting thought, boomer_lady, of which I agree. Brad said that he would make this his own experience, and I believe that he has. He is not here to find a girl to break up with quickly and move on. I have to say that his interactions on the show (verbally and non verbally) appear very honest, and who he is without pretense.

My only other favorite Bachelor is Byron, and he and Mary are still together. Perhaps not married, which is fine with me since it is their relationship and not mine.

[blhstock]

http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j247/K9Mom/Bach%2011/FDdinnerhandshot.jpg

From the How to Read Body Language on wikipedia....

"Lowered heads indicate a reason to hide something. Take note if someone lowers their head. If it is when he or she are complimented, he or she may be shy, ashamed, timid, keeping distance from the other person, in disbelief, or thinking to herself. If it is after an explanation, then he or she may be unsure if what they said was correct. "

Well, we know he was just complimented by Deanna telling him she's fallen in love so:

Brad is shy so that totally applies. Personally, he's never struck me as being ashamed of anything so I don't think that works. He's also not shown himself to ever be a timid person so I don't think that can apply. Since this is also where he reaches over and grabs her hand, we know he isn't using it to keep his distance. He says something like, "do you really mean that?" so obviously there is some disbelief that she has actually opened her heart to him so directly.

That just leaves thinking to himself, "How the hell can I get her out of here and into the Fanasty Suite." Which he then, immediately, does.

[MomLady]

Originally Posted by Bloomers

Something else that I finally came to understand is that a good many of the times it is all an illusion! I wanted to believe that what I saw were the wonderful romantic love stories that just didn't make it in the real world under real situations; therefore, they crumbled and fell apart.

In essence what I came to realize was that many times the Bachelor chose the bachette that would be the easiest to dispense with after the designated time was up.

The first time I came up against this was when I bemoaning the fact that Bob had not chosen Kelly Jo when the chemistry between them was so wonderful. This poster plainly told me that it would be much easier for Bob to get rid of Estella as Kelly Jo would hang onto him for dear life. Bob did get rid of Estella, not quite as quickly as some, but pretty fast. We know shortly after Bob married that soap opera star.

Jesse chose Jessica who was in law school. That was a good easy out because during the HT visit her folks had questioned her going to school. Bye, Jessica.

Travis chose SaraS who lived in his hometown and it was a snap not to have to do anything over Moana who lived in California and would have dedicated her whole life to him.

Lorenzo chose Jennifer who was a teacher and was tied to a school year contract across the country - it was really easy to end that relationship - over Sadie who was already planning to move to NYC.

It's not very romantic, but I do wonder if there really isn't a strong connection, does the Bachelor select the one that has circumstances in which he can easily end it with her after the show is over.

Bloomer are you saying that if Jenni is F1, it is because it will be easier for Brad to break up with her because of her contract and the distance will get in the way?

Body language wise, I see on Brad having a much deeper serious relationship with DeAnna then I do with Jenni.

I do not know about the other women that were mentioned.

I wonder if Travis picked Sarah S because even though the others may have not be right for him, at least Sarah S was a friend to him.

As for Lo, it has been said that he liked Jen.

[boomer_lady]

Originally Posted by BlondieGal

Very interesting thought, boomer_lady, of which I agree. Brad said that he would make this his own experience, and I believe that he has. He is not here to find a girl to break up with quickly and move on. I have to say that his interactions on the show (verbally and non verbally) appear very honest, and who he is without pretense.

My only other favorite Bachelor is Byron, and he and Mary are still together. Perhaps not married, which is fine with me since it is their relationship and not mine.

Assuming Brad's pick was DeeDee from the get-go and assuming that he does want a real woman with whom to fall in love with, he just has to bring along to the end the least troublesome ladies...
Jenni fits the bill (very physical lady, happy go-getter, easy to have pseudo romantic scenes with without going too deep) and Bettina (divorced, mature, sexy and level headed lady). That's illusion. ((((I don't see anything wrong with it. The guy still needs to play the game)))) :-)

[Lynn7]

Originally Posted by Minney

Actually the poor girl is sweating quite a bit! Was there no air conditioning? I think she handled the heat issue much better than I ever would and still managed to come away fresh looking where I would be wilted and crabby!

I agree. I didn't think she had been crying at all. In fact, I noticed in another episode that she was noticably sweating near her temple area.

Originally Posted by fan*addict

SO TRUE...I am one of those people who speaks more with facial expresssions...(especially the eyes~they are after all the window to our soul)

Ha, you know something, I thought I was the only one who used that expression but it is so true...our eyes really are the window to our soul.

Originally Posted by Jewelsy

I was just having a bit of déjà vu.
and your response:

Are you kicking yourself now?

Ha! Hindsight is 20:20. This was the first year that I participated so, now that the season is just about over, I think an exclusive thread worked out better because so much of the body language interpretation often got lost in the other, very active, threads. If there is another season we should just start out with a body language thread.

Originally Posted by MomLady

For the lip readers,

Was it Jenni who said Honey I am home when they walked into Brad's house for the pool party.

Yes, she did say that. "Honey, I'm home!"

[drparoo]

Originally Posted by hopelessroman

Okay. . this is a bit catty and I am sure I will get jumped on it. . .but I just can't stand the way Deanna's eyes batter and flutter. Okay...so she is wearing contacts and it is windy, but I watched her even without wind in the restaurant and she did it there too.

That would get old after a while. I think it would bug him. Years and years of staring at that. Other than than, Deanna is great and I think he really gets her.

I'm a "blinker"....I can't control it, much like a tic. My husband says he doesn't even notice it anymore. I did have one boyfriend in college, though, that commented so much on it that it made me self-conscious. Loving someone can make you blind to the things they have no control over.

[LemonDrop]

Originally Posted by Lynn7

Yes, she did say that. "Honey, I'm home!"

Yes she did!

[2observe]

Originally Posted by appiah01

Actually his arms aren't crossed. The pictures make it hard to see but his left arm is actually holding her hand (when you watch it you can see his left hand pull her towards him and then it looks as if he puts her hand on his knee right before he puts both hands on her face. Incidentally Brad is a "face toucher" but this is the first time we have seen him use the 2 hand face touch.) His right arm is touching the crook of her elbow.

If you watch the whole dinner he is actually leaning on the table towards her just about the whole time. Deanna is also leaning in. People mentioned she is sitting back but her arms are much too short to be able to have her hands on the edge of the seat like she does if she was sitting back. At his dinner with Jenni for the most pat they are both sitting back in their chairs nd his arms are crossed much of the time. My guess is that while Brad communicates affection through touch his preference is the communication of affection through words. He gives Jenni the toast to help her open up, which is a big deal for him as he says because he is not a huge verbal communicator, and her lukewarm reciprocation (I have strong feelings for you. The end) takes him aback a bit. It seems to me that he would have expected the verbal outpouring delivered by Deanna from Jenni and that is why he is at a loss by Deanna being the one to deliver it. My read is that Deanna and Brad have very similar emotional demeanors (stoics, less emotional at least in a verbal way) and thus he is very appreciative of her going against her normal type
for him.

I got the impression that DeAnna (more so than Brad) dislikes public displays of affection.